Failed Attempt #15
Voldemort walked into a large Wal-mart super center. After the greeter gave him a strange look, Voldemort was skeptical of the muggle shopping place.
"Dolls, dolls, dolls…" Voldemort whispered to himself as he scanned the isles.
"Maybe they would be in the toy isle?"
Voldemort found the toy isle and looked around. There were several choices for a new "Harry Potter" action figures.
"Can I help you?" asked a Wal-mart employee.
"I need an action figure to represent my arch-enemy Harry Potter. He's small, scrawny, insignificant-looking. Do you have anything like that?" Voldemort turned to the employee who was wearing a skeptical expression
"Of course. Come with me."
The employee led Voldemort to the next toy isle. She stopped suddenly at the Harry Potter action figures.
"It's an exact replica. How did you do this without magic?"
The employee starred at Voldemort for a few moments.
"Right, magic. Do you need anything else?"
"No, that should be…who is this action figure representative of?"
"That is Lord Voldemort."
"But I don't look this…insane and...unfortunate."
Lucius chose that moment to barge in on the conversation.
"My Lord, I said that I would help you find a new 'action figure' if you would just wait for me to lock the mini-van. Uh-oh."
"Lucius…is this really what I look like?"
"Umm…umm…"
"Ooh, when we get back to the bloody mansion…Note to self: skin Lucius alive."
Malfoy Sr. gulped visibly.
"Look what you've done!" Lucius whispered to the employee
The employee seemed a little stunned, but shrugged it off.
Voldemort went to the self check out. When the machine asked for the money, he was at a loss.
"Do you take Galleons?" he asked the machine.
"I don't think it can hear you, Master." Said Lucius when the machine didn't respond
"Shut it, you are a failure."
"Yes, my Dark Lord."
A/N: no harm was inflicted on the Wal-mart employee. No offense meant towards the Wal-mart Super Centers and their employees.
A/N Cont'd: We would like to thank all of our reviewers and readers for well...reading. lol It means a lot that you guys share our insane sense of humor. We fully indorse the chaos! lol We welcome any of your ideas or skits. They will be fully reviewed by both my partner and myself and, more than likely, added onto this piece of work.
To Irishileana : You have our full permission to advertise for us. You have no idea how excited we were when you asked. I think I even ran screaming around my room until I found my cell phone to call my partner-in-crime. lol