A/N: I love you, reviewers!! And wow... it's been ages. I lose track of time in the summer, you know? Anyway, hope you enjoy this.

BlueUtopiah: Thanks as always for a great review. Yeah, I'm kind of annoyed at Hiei's attitude too, but what can you do? lol

kittyfoxy: I'm sure Yusuke's happy to know you're rooting for him. : D Personally, I love them as a couple. But sometimes I don't know what's coming out of my pen, so you never know who'll end up with him...

Gemenice: Sorry, this probably doesn't count as soon... But I'm glad you're into the fic!

FantasyFanatic1: Glad you like the Kuwabara scene. That guy's definitely underappreciated on the show, so I had to fit some Kuwa loving in the fic. If you are a Kuwa fan you might want to check out this one-shot I wrote about him: "In the Dark."

KyoHana: Yup, we're getting into the big leagues now, kiddies. Hold on to your hats, lol.

happydemonhobo: uh oh... hope your house didn't burn down or, more importantly, your computer. :P Thanks for reviewing!

Chapter 8

By Yami no Kokoro

Kurama's POV

Yusuke leaves me when we reach my front door - well, perhaps five minutes after - and I step inside, feeling better than I can remember being in ages. Shiori and my stepfather are having dinner alone at a restaurant in the city, as they enjoy doing at least once per week, and Shuichi is sleeping over one of his many friends houses, so I find myself alone to reflect on the day's events.

Grinning absentmindedly, I wonder if I should have invited my koi inside with me. After all, it is only eight o'clock. Still early.

I brush my Yoko's interesting and utterly inappropriate thoughts from my mind with a laugh as I jog up the stairs in the front hall.

"Just two dates, Shuichi." I remind myself, moving down the second floor hall to my bedroom. As I enter it I freeze, eyes widening.

"In as many days, isn't it?" Hiei sits on my bed, arms crossed, leaning against my oak headboard. My mouth immediately goes dry. Hiei . . . here . . . on my bed. Did I mention that he's shirtless? His white top is discarded onto my desk chair, along with his sword.

"You and the detective just began 'dating' yesterday. Plenty early enough to break it off."

I shake myself quickly from my stupor, crossing my arms stubbornly.

"And what makes you think I want to, Hiei? I believe I made myself quite clear in the woods earlier."

He stands slowly, turning to face me, and I get to take in a full view of the beautiful, pale chest that was hidden from me earlier. A chest that I can clearly remember kissing and nipping my way across last summer . . . why is it suddenly so hard to conjure an image of Yusuke to mind?

I think I hate myself, and what Hiei says next only increases my self-loathing.

"I agree. 'Gods, I love you, Hiei.' Sound familiar?" He had read my thoughts? Some part of me knows I should be feeling anger at the violation, but can conjure nothing but shame. I bite my lip, unsure of what to say. I can hardly deny that the thought crossed my mind, and I'm not sure if I can say that it isn't true.

The koorime takes a confident step towards me, and I think to take one away, to keep the distance between us the same, or to increase it if possible, but I find myself rooted to the spot. I'm trapped within those garnet eyes that are gazing at me so hungrily.

I want him, but I . . . I can't. Why doesn't he understand? Why doesn't he stop this? Why doesn't Hiei for once be the one of us using rational thought, since I suddenly seem incapable of it?

"Don't try to keep fighting what we both want." He hasn't even touched me and already I feel a tingle of arousal at the words. Inari, does he understand at all what he's able to do to me?

'Yusuke. Remember Yusuke. I don't want Hiei, I can't want Hiei. I want . . .'

Cool hands begin to unclasp the top buttons of my shirt, and my thought floats away. I'm frozen, not consenting yet not stopping him, eyes locked on his, which gaze back at me unblinkingly. Eyes like gemstones . . . hair like ash, lips like-

Stop it! Where has my self-control gone? Where is my loyalty to Yusuke, who I was kissing on my porch not ten minutes ago? It seems to have disappeared with my shirt, which is falling down to the floor at our feet. Suddenly I'm disgusted with myself.

"No." My voice is a pathetic whisper, quavering with an emotion I refuse to let myself decipher. Forcing a leg back I try again, making my voice stronger as I repeat, "No, Hiei."

He advances again, a predatory look in those eyes that makes me want to crush my lips to his even more.

"Why not, fox? Give me one reason why I shouldn't take you. Give me an honest reason." The door must have swung shut behind me when I'd entered the room, and I now find myself backed up against it with nowhere else to retreat to. "Do you want me to leave?"

A finger traces its way down my breastbone, and I shudder, shutting my eyes.

'No!'

"Yes . . ." A tongue follows the finger's path, and I let out a gasp despite myself.

"I told you to be honest, Kurama."

"I . . . I am-ahh . . . I . . ." His hot mouth begins to assault my neck as I try to gather my thoughts, making it nearly impossible to not just give in to the fire youkai's domination. "S-stop. Yusuke..."

Hiei pulls back as though he's been slapped and grabs my shoulders, causing my eyes to flicker open in surprise and some disappointment.

"That fool could never begin to appreciate you like I do."

"I couldn't even begin to name all of the things I love about you. . ."

Shaking my head I move sideways quickly and away from the wall, keeping my eyes steadily on the koorime.

"You're wrong." I reply as steadily as I can. "He loves me, Hiei."

He doesn't seem put off by the information.

"And do you think I came back out of lust?"

I flinch, the words like a blow directly to my heart. Gods, Hiei, couldn't you just have impaled me again? That kind of wound, at least, I know I can heal from.

Hiei still loves me.

Yusuke loves me.

Who do I love?

My ex-koi takes advantage of my shock to move toward me again, shoving me so that I topple ungracefully backward. It appears that moving away from the trap my wall created had done very little, because I'd backed far enough into my room to be standing before my bed. Easily, Hiei climbs up to straddle me, leaning down to take my mouth violently into his, his tongue scouring it so that a moan escapes me unbidden.

He can't do this, not now . . . I still don't have my answers.

Halfheartedly, I try to escape the kiss, though we both know that a struggle only excites both of us even more.

"H-Hiei." I pant, despising myself even more with every second, and then hating my ningen conscious selfishly for spoiling this. "Th-this isn't fair. . ."

"Why?" The demi-koorime replies in between a dozen quick, light kisses to my abdomen that cause me to shiver with pleasure. "I'd let you be on top, but we both prefer it this way."

"No, it's not... not fair to-" he knows what I'm about to say, because his lips move with surprising speed back to my own, cutting off that last word.

/Don't think about him now./ His voice whispers across my mind. /Just think about us, and then decide who you truly want later./

Of course, that proposition is completely unacceptable but, pinned to the bed as I am, with my mouth being held captive by the koorime, I find myself in no position to argue.

I find myself responding as well, body arching and twisting to stay against his, plaintive whimpers escaping my throat as my desire for him grows, and my loyalty to Yusuke melts away.

Too much longer and I'll be completely gone, lost in lust. Yusuke is fading from my mind no matter how hard I try to keep him there, and I know that Hiei is waiting until all resistance is gone before going further.

I wish he weren't. I wish he were forcing me, that his hands pinning me down were truly so firm that I couldn't pull away if I really desired to. If that were so I would be able to hate him for this. Now I can only blame myself.

'I should pull away,' A part of me whimpers again, but I'm not listening anymore. I need Hiei.

I almost cry when I hear footsteps on the stairs and Shiori's voice calling my name. Hiei pulls back, meeting my eyes briefly with a promise.

He'll be back.

And then in a blur, he's gone.

----

I hate myself. I hate how desperately I want Hiei. I hate Shiori for interrupting us before we'd finished what we'd started. I hate Yusuke for making me resist Hiei's touch, and finally I hate Hiei for leaving for so long and then returning at the worst possible moment.

Inari, I'm starting to sound like a normal ningen teenager.

I manage to keep a smile on my face, however, as my mortal mother and her husband come in to say goodnight, dropping the facade the instant that they leave. It used to be so simple to keep up that false emotion - contentment or happiness. No one used to be able to see through my masks.

Now the masks are cracking.

Yusuke can see that something is wrong, and Hiei can tell that I still want him despite my words in the woods. Shiori gave me a questioning glance only moments before, but had decided against asking what was wrong in front of my stepfather.

I'm falling apart, crumbling away.

When looking out of my window I can peer down into my backyard garden, the home of my soul, and I do so now with some trepidation. What I see does not surprise me - after all, the plants reflect the emotions already inside of me - but makes my eyes narrow in worry none the less.

It is almost completely overrun with bleeding hearts. Briars have grown, sharp thorns wrapping around a now almost fully-grown pink rosebush - though whether it is attempting to suffocate or protect the plant I am unsure. Beside the rosebush now stands a familiar burning bush, its orange leaves - which normally only appear in the fall - glimmer in the last of the disappearing sunlight. The orange and pink clash horribly when viewed together, but each one blooms gorgeously on its own.

The burning bush had once been everywhere in my garden. During last summer I remember Shiori coming to me in the yard and asking quite innocently why I had planted so many of such a plain bush. I had looked up from the book that I'd been reading and smiled, responding,

"Not all plants need flowers to be special. This bush's beauty can be more difficult to spot, but that makes it all the more precious once found."

Briars choke the orange plant as well, but here I know the plants are trying to strangle it away, just as I am attempting to destroy my reblossoming feelings for Hiei.

I reach out with my ki, attempting to force back the briars, the bleeding hearts, and the burning bush, knowing before I try that it will do nothing.

I am right. The only way to heal the garden is to heal my soul, and I can't do that with my two friends fighting over me. I have to break up with Yusuke and get Hiei to leave, before their hearts become as shattered as mine is.

My emotions aren't the important thing here, after all. I just need them both, at least, to be happy.

TBC