Meanwhile, in the lair of Miraz...

[Miraz] -checks watch- They should've attacked us by now.

[Sopespian] Maybe they knew it was a trap.

[Miraz] But how... how could they know?

-messenger walks in-

[Messenger] Lord Sopespian, I have warned the Narnians.

[Sopespian] Heh. Heh.

[Miraz] I WONDER HOW THEY KNEW?

-in a dark, scary place where the stone table resides-

[Werewolf] Did you bring the knife?

[Hag] Yhssss...

[Werewolf] Lemme see it.

-werewolf uses knife to cut PB&J sandwich down the corners-

[Werewolf] You're such a good friend. -sips chocolate milk-

NOTE: AUTHOR IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR RANDOMNESS. Well, sorta.

[Pete] So. How do we go about destroying the Tellamarine Army?

[Lucky] Beer lures any man.

[Edmuncher] How about we meet them in the open and fight like men?

...all quiet...

[Pete] Good idea, Lucky! Very creative. Edmuncher, I see the cellar needs someone to peel potatoes.

[Edmuncher] .

-arguing back and forth continues for some time-

[Susin] Wassup, Casphian?

[Casphian] I'm not supposed to talk to distractions.

[Susin] Trust me. Everyone will love how we fall in love together in the movie! :D

[Casphian] ...besides me

[Pete] I GOT IT! We'll use beer to lure them in!

[Lucky] That was my idea!

[Pete] But I labelled it as my own, so consider yourself disenfranchised.

[Lucky] You been studying my 'Money Scams' book again, haven't you?

[Pete] You stole my book? I'm suing.

[Susin] Let's all calm down. Anyone here know how to win a battle?

[Doveyhunter] I know KUNG-FU! WHA-CHA! -tackles Casphian in the head-

-casphian stumbles, taking multiple blows to the head :P -

[Pete] Stop playing, Casphian, we have a battle plan to create.

[Lucky] Someone should help the poor guy.

[Edmuncher] Which one?

[Lucky] Doveyhunter, of course. He could sprain a muscle.

[Casphian] Wouldn't want the old guy to get hurt.

[Doveyhunter] I AM NOT OLD! -tackles again-

[Susin] You're so brave, Casphian.

[Casphian] You really think so?

[Lucky] -whisper- ...noo...

[Susin] You're amazing.

[Casphian] -feels the strength of 10 men within him!-

sadly, the ten men never grew up.

-Casphian falls over, as Doveyhunter throws off his glasses and tackles Casphian again.-

-LATER THE NEXT DAY-

[Casphian] -in the hospital-

[Doveyhunter] Didja see me? I was on fiah!

[Casphian] Ouuuwwwch

[Doveyhunter] Coulda been worse. See, I coulda hit your broken tailbone, like this!

-WHAAAM!-

[Casphian] TEH PAIN!

[Doveyhunter] That should teach ya.

[Susin] I always love a man completely covered in casts.

[Casphian] Thanks. Every time I'm near you, I feel radiant. My black hair, flying in the breeze.

[Doveyhunter] How's your hair doing?

[Casphian] You chewed it out. -ooowww-

[Lucky] Hey, you got life insurance?

[Casphian] You've asked me that before.

[Lucky] Your body wasn't broken before.

-knock knock knock-

[Lucky] Come in!

[Mirazin] How you doing, son? Ready for a fight today?

[Lucky] Course he is!

[Casphian] -stands up- I AM RADIANT!

-falls flat face-

[Doveyhunter] Himj on the ground makes him fair game, right?

[Lucky] Not on my insurance policy, he isn't. TOO BAD, HUH?

[Casphian] Too late to sign up?

[Lucky] Let's let Doveyhunter decide that.

-Doveyhunter rubs his hands together, as all goes black-...

[Pete] So... I guess I'll duel you t'morrow, k?

[Mirazin] No prob, dude.

[Pete] It'll be a shame killin' you.

[Mirazin] You seem like a nice guy. Cya!

-the next day-

[Pete] So here's the plan. Que James Bond music.

1. I fight Mirazin.

2. You guys keep getting more Narnians.

3. I send Lucky and Susin to find Aslan.

4. We will be betrayed, after I kill Mirazin.

[Edmuncher] How do you know that?

[Pete] I'm the king. I know everything.

5. Reepicheeper will poke badguy's eyes out.

6. I will sit on the toilet- WAIT? WAHH?

-Lucky giggles-

[Reepicheeper] Teeheehee

7. I will send Casphian after the girls if they don't come back in 5 minutes or start exploring dark alleyways.

[Lucky] But that's the fun part! :(

[Pete] Everybody got-dat?

[Mr. Tumness] Ahem, If you don't mind my cutting in...

[Lucky] BUT, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! YOU'RE DEAD! YOUR INSURANCE POLICY IS CANCELLED!

[Mr. Tumness] iT'S ME.

[LUCKY] LEAVE US, YOU SAVAGE BEAST! SICK 'IM, DOVEYHUNTER!

[Doveyhunter] Rawr.

[Tumness] Don't you remember me, Lucky? We were best friends!

[Lucky] Why do ya think I scared? :o

-TUMNESS FADES FROM THE STORY-

[Aslan] Tumness, please. Stop scaring the Pevensie children. I'm so sorry he came back to haunt you, Lucky.

[Lucky] Just remember, TUMNESS! YOU COME BACK, YOU PAY YOUR INSURANCE PREMIUMS!

[Tumness] -gets ready to charge as would a bull-

[Aslan] Break it up! We're not s'posed to even be in the story right now. THIS IS A KID'S STORY!

[Lucky] Yeah.. No monsters allowed.

-back to reality-

[Pete] TO BATTLE!

[Mirazin, Soapespian, and Gazelle] -get into basketball clothes, ready for a fight.-

[Mirazin] Come out, Narnians!

[Pete] HERE I COMEZ! -gets thrown to the ground-

[Mirazin] Who... are you?

[Pete(r)] I am Peter Parker, SPIDERMAN!

[Director] Dude, I said stage 6, not 16.

[Parker] Oh. Well, swing by later! -swoosh!-

[Pete] That... was weird. HERE I COMEZ! -gets thrown to the ground-

[Bear] Roar!

[Mirazin] Who... are you?

[Bear] I am whoever you want me to be. -sucks paws- I use my floppy fat to make funny noises and fight badguys!

[Mirazin] Have at thee, knave!

[Bear] -MEGA FLOP JUMP!-

[Edmuncher] Bear comes round, swings left, and OH! A MISS!

[Mirazin] You, bear, cannot beat my sword!

[Bear] AUGH! -jumps-

[Edmuncher] The bear senses danger! Looks like he'll do a FLOP, DROP, AND ROLL! looks EFFECTIVE!

[Mirazin] C. wouldn't be proud of you.

[Bear] -cries, and runs away-

[Pete] -gets up, and puts dentures back in mouth- Here... I come -DUCKS- AHH. YAY. THANK YOU. -gets up again-

[Mirazin] Come here, boy!

[Pete] LUCKY! SUSIN! GO GET ASLAN AND TRY NOT TO ATTRACT ATTENTION! Oh, and you didn't hear that, Mirazin.

[Mirazin] KK, buddy.

[Lucky and Susin run off, and try to find that party they were invited to by Aslan]

[Lucky] Aslan's directions say turn left at Archenland Drive. But... all that's there is 'Lead Filled Toys made in China Drive'. Of course, if we turn right, it'd be Archenland Drive. But that would be straying from the directions he gave us. Let's turn left.

[Susin] Hey, we can get stuff real cheap down here...

-15 mins later-

[Pete] -grabs cell phone and calls Lucky- Hey, you find Aslan yet?

[Lucky] Yup.

[Pete] Well... where are you guys right now?

[Lucky] The mall.

[Pete] What's Aslan doing in there?

[Lucky] I dunno. He was in a box and has 'Made in China' written underneath his stomach...

[Pete] You're lost, huh?

[Lucky] I guess.

[Pete] Casphian, DO YOUR THING!

[Casphian] -falls off horse due to cast-

[Pete] Hmmphrey. I have an idea!

-5 mins later-

[camera shows Casphian tied to back of horse being dragged towards Lucky and Susin]

[Casphian] OUCH, OUCH OUCH!

-to be continued-