Ih'tal knew that she didn't have much time before Solas would meet with her in her chamber. Although she was determined to have this conversation, nerves began to set in. She set about working at the desk. She knew that should it come that, she would be ready to protect her clan in The Free Marches. She sent a message to Cullen to also have a plan ready should it be needed.
She decided that she would distract herself until Solas announced his arrival. She did not have to wait long until a knock sounded, and she heard the door beneath the stairs open. She did not raise from her seat either as Solas descended the stairs but waited until he was standing in front of her.
As usual she felt at a disadvantage, in his guarded expression, she did not know what to expect. He stood in front of her, like he was trying to solve a puzzle, then he blinked and walked away. Ih'tal followed his movement, and saw he was headed for the balcony. She soon joined him.
"What were you like before the anchor?" He asked while he turned to face her
She felt it was a question that was rooted in a more than just the obvious wording.
He continued "Has it affected you? Changed you in any way? Your mind, your morals, your… spirit?"
She turned and looked over the railing, focusing on the mountain ahead she answered, "if it has, do you really think I would have noticed? She heard him huff a laugh "No I suppose not" He joined her at the railing, copied her movements and looked out over railing as the sun was setting and above them the stars began to twinkle forth on the darkening night sky. "You won't ask me why I'm asking?
Ih'tal remained silent.
"You continue to surprise me. You won't let anyone, or anything define you, not for your past, present or future. When you lack the knowledge, you seek it out, when you need to hone your skills, you train, and when you come upon injustice, you rally". He turned toward her and stood so close that she could feel the heat of him seeping into her skin. In a voice almost like a caress he continued "You show a wisdom I have not seen since… Since my deepest journeys into the ancient memories of the Fade". He moved away. "You are not what I expected".
Ih'tal couldn't help chuckle over the irony. She was definitely not what he had expected. But his words moved her. She really did like him and believed him to be sincere. He was known as a trickster god, but he wasn't known to get emotionally involved. Still, she couldn't help but ask. "You say it like it is a bad thing. I am sorry to disappoint".
"It is not disappointing it is… Most people are predictable. You have shown subtlety in your actions, a wisdom that goes against everything I have expected". Again, he turned towards her. She felt compelled to at least meet him halfway. As the next thing was important for him to convey. "If the Dalish could raise someone with a spirit like yours, have I misjudged them?".
While she loved her clan, the Dalish still clung to ancient traditions. And some of their texts were simply wrong. However, there was a purity that bespoke their actions. And she had tried to discreetly implant stories about the great ancient empire which these traditions originated from. She chose to be honest with him.
"The Dalish did not make me like this. The decision were mine. I wasn't born into my clan. I am not Dalish by birth, but I love them much the same. So, though they may have influenced me to some degree, I am still guided by my own conscience".
He nodded like it made sense to him. "Perhaps that is it. I suppose it must be. Most people act with so little understanding of the world". He gazed at her, and with affection in his voice he told her "But not you".
"Solas, I need to know what this mean. Before I went away, we had a conversation about not complicating things, and I was trying to be honest how I felt about you. You told me you needed time to think, and I respected that. So… Please. What does it mean?".
"It means I have not forgotten the kiss". He caressed her cheek "it would be kinder in the long run, if I did. But vhenan… Loosing you would…" He breaks off by claiming her lips. She finds herself pulled into his arms, while he kisses her in a way, that feels like he is putting a claim on her. Like every passion, every unsaid word is being poured into the kiss instead.
In an instant she is being swept up in his arms, and as her legs wrap around him, he carries her inside. At the threshold, she knows that they need to finish the conversation before anything else can happen. She breaks the kiss "Solas, we need to talk first". He stops, but still doesn't put her down. He waits for her to continue.
"There is still much to be said, and I still have much to tell you about who I am. But it takes trust, and trust comes with time. I know that you are hiding something, and I get that it is a burden for you alone. But before we can let this go any further, I need you to promise me. No more lies".
He parts his lips to say something, then clearly rethinks it. She continues. "I won't press for anything, and I know that I am asking for a lot. But can you trust me enough to be honest with me?".
"I will try. But know that even though I cannot tell you, I would never withhold anything to hurt you".
Accepting that, that was all he had to give for now, she nodded.
Relieved, Solas brushed his lips against hers. Once, twice, and told her "But now. I want my next kiss vhenan".