Piper here! Again! We're actually spending the weekend in this little town in New Mexico and the hotel has free internet (most of the hotels we stay at have free internet, because most of them suck). SO, I wrote two more chapters over the past...few days, since the last time I was logged in anyway. I'll be posting four later. Enjoy!

Chapter Three: You Can't Handle the Children

"Ayame! Wake up, Ayame!"

Shit. I forgot about those pesky nightmares. Somewhere in-between, my thrashing turned to conscious alarm, and I opened my eye mid-turn, my hand making a painful snap as it connected with Jiraiya's nose. My last scream turned mid-way to a laugh as a small trickle of blood escaped from his left nostril.

"What was that?" He asked, reaching up and wiping his nose with his wrist as I clicked on the lamp, sitting up. My vision was blurred with hangover, and my head throbbed as I looked down at my knees, little blind patches dancing across my vision.

My voice was sour as I replied, "what did it look like? I thought that nightmares were a common enough affliction. Or is it another one of those shit holes that I have to dig myself out of alone?"

"You've become bitter," was all he said as he handed me a cup of water. I immediately felt bad for the way that I had lashed out. I downed the cup of water quickly and then crawled over to him, pulling myself into his lap.

"I'm sorry," was all that I said, my voice hoarse. He absentmindedly combed through my hair with his fingers and it felt like it did when I was six and there was no hate in my heart.

And there was nearly no hate in my heart now. There was nobody else in the world that I hated so much as myself, and that was what drove me crazy with rage. Jiraiya left for the day and I was alone in his rather large apartment, with the entire day to myself.

So, I did what I wanted to. I sliced off enough of his t-shirt so that somebody else could tell that I was wearing shorts beneath it, then put my shorts back on, and made my barefooted way out to the academy, to build a few bridges with some old friends.

Iruka was in the classroom alone, obviously preparing to greet a new group of children, so I let myself in and sat down in a desk at the very back. He didn't seem to notice me, just continued to erase the the board his back to me. It was excruciating, I thought, to be this close, yet too scared to do what I needed and reach out.

"I thought that it was just rumors that you had returned, Aya-san," he said, not meeting my eyes as he sat down at his desk, opening a file and leafing through the papers, "turns out the rumors don't lie as often as one would assume. This one seemed much more unlikely the others that I had heard, though. I mean, why on earth would you return here to Konoha? It's unheard of!"

"Iruka, stop it," I said, pinching the bridge of my nose between two fingers and glaring down at the desktop, "I know, I'm deranged, stupid, naive, cowardly, frail, slow, weak," I continued listing off a few common adjectives, as if reciting a memorized list of all of the hidden villages, "unworthy, untrustable, juvenile—"

"—I wouldn't go that far," he looked up, brow furrowed. I shut up. This had been exactly what I wanted, "it's just that we all needed you. The entire Village needed you. And you ran. You couldn't handle the pressure, so you ran away. And four years later, you just turn up virtually out of nowhere. It's unnerving."

I sat in silence for a few moments, "I'm not going to re-join the ANBU—"

"Well there's an idea," he said sarcastically, breaking me off.

"—So I need to act quickly, before Ibiki gets his paws on me and drags me back into the line of duty," I said and sighed, "so I was thinking about maybe being assigned a squad of genin."

Iruka looked up at me slowly, blinking slowly as if he had heard me wrong. When he realized that I was actually telling the truth, his laugh was the kind that made me want to throw my head back and scream, "you can't handle it," he said, shaking his head and laughing, "no way."

"Why not?" I asked. There was still a good twenty feet between us as I sat at my desk and he at his, "I need something, and these kids don't go on killer missions."

Iruka shook his head, "the problem is not the types of missions: you could handle that. It's the fact that you couldn't handle one of these kids, much less three! These children are in the heart of adolescence, they need somebody compassionate to help them through this."

"I heard Kakashi got a squad," I said bitterly.

"That," Iruka said, standing up and walking to the door, "is different."

I ran after him, stalking him down the hall, "I do not see how that is different in any way shape or form," I said, jumping in front of him to block his path. He walked around me and I jumped in front of him again.

"You know what, fine," he said, throwing his hands up, and along with them an entire stack of papers, "I will see to it that you are assigned a squad after graduation next month. If they pass the bell test, I will bet you five hundred Ryo that you can't advance at least two of them through the Chunin exams."

I rolled my eyes, "you're on."

"Well I just earned an easy five hundred Ryo," he said, shrugging and walking past me, only stopping to call back over his shoulder, "be a doll and pick those papers up for me, Fujioka."

So much for rekindling friendships.

/\/\/\/\/

I hadn't any leftover money, I realized, therefore all I could afford to do was walk aimlessly through the streets, cowardly trying to hide from anything that seemed like it might be close to recognizing me. I realized, too soon, that it was an impossible feat I was trying to accomplish.

It was late afternoon by then, and I was still feeling like shit, both from my hangover and not having eaten all day. I was ready to pull an eat-and-run when I saw him—well, 'saw' was putting it lightly, anyway.

And it wasn't a down-the-street spy that could have been easily avoided either. It was a flat-on collision. I had been looking up at the sky, force of habit that I had picked up from Shikamaru in my day. He had been coming in the other direction, and it was completely out of nowhere when I slammed into him with all my the force of my body, and wound up on the ground, looking at the sky from a more natural, horizontal position.

"Oh, dear," I muttered, squinting and rubbing my head as I sat up, "I'm sorr—" and then I saw his face…or, more accurately, didn't see his face. It was obviously Kakashi Hatake because who else on earth would wear that moronic mask? Or had that silvery mess of hair?

Within a second, he was on his feet again, offering a hand to me, "we meet again, Fujioka-kun," was all that he said, and I attempted to make a quick getaway upon hearing that, darting quickly to the side. He somehow managed to capture my wrist with one of his hands and draw me to his side.

"Well," I said, as we continued down the street. Kakashi had been reading one of Jiraiya's novels, I realized, and tucked it back into pouch on his belt so that he could walk with me, "I'd tell you that you're looking good, but that would be sort of hard, considering I can't see you."

"Oh, your sharp wit has been missed," he said with an apathetic monotone that made it hard to understand whether he was praising or reprimanding me.

"I'm amazed you even remember my name," I said with a small laugh, "I thought that when one's hair goes grey, so does their memory."

He shook his head, "it wasn't a matter of remembering your name so much as it was of recognizing you," he said, and his tone betrayed the fact that it would have been an exclamation if he spoke in the same dialect as everyone else as opposed to his boring apathetic monotone, "you look too different for words."

We continued to walk in silence, me feeling extremely uncomfortable, until he finally grabbed my arm, just above the elbow, and turned, leading me through a door, "how about some dinner?"

I furrowed my brow, "but I don't have any money," I said, looking up into his one eye. He shrugged, as if to say that he would pay, "why would you pay to bring me to dinner?"

"I thought that was how old friends catch up," he said as the maitre d' led us to our table. Kakashi held out a chair for me before walking around to his side of the table and taking his own seat.

"I wasn't aware that we were old friends," was my reply as I opened the menu, my eyes automatically filtering so that I could list at least twelve things that I wanted.

"Well then maybe we can be new friends," was all that he said, and we each became enveloped in our own menus.

I ordered four different dishes, dictated completely by my stomach. Kakashi laughed incredulously and informed me that I would never eat that much. I told him that I would bet on it if I had any money.

Actually, I was extremely surprised how easily conversation came with him. It just naturally rolled off my tongue in a way that I could hardly believe. We talked about everything: about his squad, my four years of retirement, the weather, mutual friends, and practically our entire life stories.

He had been right about one thing, though. I couldn't finish all four dishes. He had to help me on the last one, which had been a large plate of just noodles. And, sadly enough, I felt even worse after eating than I had before. I guess there's some sort of unspoken rule about bloating oneself when hung over.

"I dare say this has been fun," he said as we left the restaurant. I couldn't walk home at this point, so I decided to excuse myself quickly and spend the night in an alleyway.

"It definitely has," I said between clenched teeth, "now, if you'll excuse me," and I teetered off, slower than I might've imagined. I barely made it ten steps when I keeled over, the vomit that I called to not complying with my body's shouts for help and keeping itself at bay in my stomach.

He was laughing beside me in a second, one hand on my back, "you ate too much," he said, lifting me up by the armpits until I was on my feet, and allowing me to sling my arm across his shoulders. I was not used to this much contact and shrunk back, nearly flipping over his arm, which had snaked around my waist to help guide me through the streets.

"You can let go," I said, attempting to swat at his hand with my free one, "I can walk fine," he merely laughed and continued to guide me, back to Jiraiya's apartment, for lack of knowledge as to anywhere else that I might go. I needed to return to the Nara household sometime soon, I realized, or they would think that I deserted Shikamaru at the gate.

"Well," Kakashi said as we were finally outside the door, "there are a number of things that I could do right now," it seemed as if he was thinking aloud, "I could kiss you on the cheek and tell you that it was fun and that we should do this again, but my lips are not available to kiss your cheek and I don't get the vibes that you're that kind of person," he blinked his visible eye slowly before continuing, "so I will just pat your arm," he patted my shoulder, "say, 'don't get yourself killed between now and the next time we meet,' in order to confirm that there will, indeed be a next time," he blinked once more and cleared his throat before continuing, "and take my leave," and he disappeared.

That was the strangest good-bye exchange that I had ever taken part in. I walked into Jiraiya's apartment and was immediately greeted by the vile and discomforting sounds of an orgy. I sighed and shook my head, gathering a glass of water from the sink and lying myself out on the couch for a sleepless night filled with the sounds of my father pleasuring multiple women.

Any girl's dream.

/\/\/\/\/

"Good morning," was Jiraiya's greeting the next morning, as I watched all three of his overnight wards leave, fully clothed and with messy hair, "did you sleep well?" He asked, tying the robe around his waist and sitting down on the couch beside me.

I rolled my eyes and curled my toes, looking out the window, "how do you think I slept?"

"It would be an easier guess if you just told me," he said with a shrug, "you like poached eggs, right?" he lifted himself slowly from the couch, walking into the kitchen.

"Yeah, they're fine. I was thinking about going out to the training grounds today, if you want to come with?" I stood up and followed him to the kitchen, taking a seat on one of the barstools as he took a few eggs from their place in the fridge.

"Sorry, but I've got some things to do with Naruto today," I couldn't tell from his face if he was actually sorry or not, but I was fine with it. Let him choose who he wanted to, "don't be like that, Aya," he said, obviously reading my expression, "a promise is a promise, right. Why don't you call up Yamato or Gai or Maki if they're not busy?"

"Maki hates me."

"Who could hate you?" Jiraiya said tiredly, wiping his eye with the back of one hand.

"Maki. That's who." And everyone else I know except you, dad.

"Well what about Gai and Yamato, then?"

I shrugged, "Yamato's probably on duty and Gai's too…Gai-like."

"Asuma?"

"He's always busy," I knew I was being ridiculous by this point. Really, I was just a coward.

"When did you get so picky about your friends?"

"When I discovered how much easier it is when you don't have any…I mean, it's not like I had so many to begin with."

Jiraiya just sighed and threw his hands in the air, forgetting that he was holding an egg and splattering it on the ceiling, "if you don't call somebody up in the next hour, I'm calling for you. And you don't want your dad to organize your play-dates, do you?"

I sighed and shook my head, "fine. I'll call Yamato, I guess," Yamato would be fine. If he was the way I remembered, he wouldn't talk much and that was good news. I didn't need him smart-mouthing my decision the same way that some people did and would.

Then, egg began to drip from the ceiling and onto Jiraiya's head, so he naturally had me stand up on the counter and wipe it off, as he provided support for my feet, as if I gravity was about to suddenly relieve itself of me and allow me to float around like a dead fish.

"Oh!" I exclaimed, jumping from the counter and landing on the ground, a spark in my eye, "I just got a fantastic idea. Do you have any blank scrolls?"

Jiraiya smiled warily at me, "what's your idea?" My last 'fantastic' idea put seven in the hospital, even though I was devastated by it.

"You'll see," I said, snatching the scrolls and brushes from his hands as he offered them, running back into his closet to take some more too-large clothes for myself.

"Don't cut up any more of my shirts!" He exclaimed as I found one of his little green kimonos that he wore as a shirt. It was long enough for me to wear on its own, so that was what I did, still not wearing shoes as I grabbed an empty bag and discarded all of the blank scrolls and bits of ink in it, running back to the door.

"See you tonight, dad!" I called, hoping briefly that he hadn't realized that in my 'idea' frenzy, I had forgotten to call Yamato. Good plan, if you ask me.

But I really did have an idea. And it would probably be a good one if I could produce such a jutsu as I had imagined. So I ran out to the training grounds. My favorite ground consisted of forest-like terrain, so I nestled myself up in the branches of a tree and went to work on my new jutsu.

Surprisingly enough, I had most of it written out by sundown, and was happily surprised when nobody appeared on Jiraiya's orders, instructed to spar with me.

"Oh, I get it," Jiraiya said, looking over my quick, dark scrawls, which took up a grand total of six scrolls, so far, and would probably take up one or two more before I was done, "how are you going to put in the hand seals with this?" He asked, scratching his chin as he laid out the scrolls in order.

"Well, the jutsu requires earth and wind, right," I said, using my fingers to spread the scrolls around, "so…I really have no idea."

"Well it's a brilliant idea for a jutsu, and if you manage to put it together right, I'm sure the ANBU will be dying to get their paws around it…you've got a gift for creating jutsu, my girl," he said with a smile, clapping my back.

It wasn't a very simple idea, to think of. The jutsu required the user to create a pressurized dome of air, around the second party, and then somehow lift gravity on the inside of the dome, giving the air the same weightless pressure as if one were floating about in space, making it nearly impossible to move. Once I had combined oxygen and earth to pull the gravity away, it would be easy to control the dome with my hands.

Seeing as Jiraiya didn't have any more women over that night, I was allowed back my spot in the bed, but only after I had watched Jiraiya wash the sheets twice would I lie down, "hey," he whispered as we turned the lights off.

"What?"

"You didn't call Yamato," I could tell from his tone of voice that he had know what I was doing the whole time, and it made me want to laugh a little bit, "and Tsunade told me that Iruka recommended you for a squad of genin next month."

I smiled, curling up so that my knees were pressed to my chest, "yeah. I've got a little bet with him going. If I can advance two of them to Chunin, he owes me five hundred Ryo."

Jiraiya's booming laughter filled the room, and made me feel a little bit warm on the inside, "you're becoming more like your godmother every day, you know that?" He said, and I could tell from the shape of his silhouette that he was sitting up now.

"Except that I don't make losing bets," I said defiantly, sticking my chin out from my lying down position.

"You sure about that?" Was all that he said in reply as I watched his silhouette straighten back to a horizontal position on the bed.

I went to sleep with a smile on my lips.

It's hard when I'm writing these to get a grip as to what they're really like, so I would appreciate it if y'all wrote reviews for me.

Thanks a bunch, if you even read this!

Piper