{.x.o.} | Rapture's Remorse | {.o.x.}
{x| Chapter 11: Regret |x}
A beating pulse banged about along with the seizing bodies hidden in dimmed lights with flickers of vibrant colors amid the aroma of an array of alcohol—some good, some bad. Laughter pierced above the music every once and a while along with shouting voices. Constantly, girls grinned against guys upon the dance floor that beckoned so many high-class types—since, really, who else could get into such a club?
No-society, low at best, could if and only if they were escorted by the rich, popular, sometimes beautiful, sometimes not—all the girls were, most the guys weren't, what did that say about 'society'? Like the silver haired, golden gazed, hanyou that leaned against the navy walls to watch the red-head dance about.
He hated such places.
Clubs were too loud for his delicate ears and some of the people really reeked of temping things… drugs, alcohol, sex. So, so many of them stunk of the former, particularly any man that danced with Hitota Ayame and her curvy figure—and friendly, at that.
"That girl really gets down to it, eh?" A blue-eyed man asked as he tilted his head to the side some to let his lecherous gaze flutter over the wolf-demon they were charged to watch and protect but forbidden to touch.
"Shut your trap already," Inuyasha gripped back, "if you wanna fuck her, then fuck her, stop talkin' about it, Kouga."
"I don't want to do that," Kouga chuckled, "she's too easy, I could get her in bed without trying. That type of chick bores me, I like a challenge. Sweet virgins, they are the best." To emphasize such, he took a deep breath in with a large smirk upon his lips.
"Whatever," he sighed.
"Have you ever fucked a virgin, mutt?"
Truth be told? No, he never had. Odd, huh? He'd had sex so many times but never with a virgin, the people that paid for him were already experienced but he didn't see the appeal in it really. It was always shorter the first time and the girl was always hurting, so what was so entertaining about that? And in reality, the girl rarely felt unbridled bliss the first time, either.
"How about you go fuck yourself?"
"Is that the type of thing you're in to? I've been wondering, since all these ladies keep lookin' at ya' asking for dirty shit to be done to them but you ignore 'em. You prefer just jerking yourself off?"
"You prefer being a jerk-off?"
The wolf demon couldn't help but chuckle once more, "breaking a girl's hymen is such a great feeling. To see them cringe then fuck them until they forget about the pain, it's good."
"All the goddamn time, sex this, sex that, do you ever think of something else?"
"There's something seriously wrong with you," Kouga grunted back, "you never talk about it. Are you gay? Is that it? You're a fag?"
"Keh," he grinned, "with the way you act with your buddies I'd say that'd be you. Or, at least, Hakkaku and Ginta got a crush on you."
"Fuck you," Kouga snarled before he walked off, just as Inuyasha had hoped.
With an irritated sigh he reached into his black pants pocket to grab his vibrating phone and look at it, right away his brows flexed together, rarely did Kagome call him anymore when she knew he was at work. A month had passed since he confessed his career choice to her, at first she was reluctant even though he told her it was fine, but then she seemed to get on bored with it.
She even decided it was sort of perfect for him, he was a night person and he was generally called to go with his charge, Ayame, to clubs at nights to push through the paparazzi and sometimes—though, if you'd ask him he'd say he never did—punch the fuckers out and stomp of their overly-expensive cameras when they wouldn't leave Ayame alone. Moreover, regardless of if he'd admit it or not, she swore he had a protective spirit just like Kaguya had predicted. And as long as he wasn't in any real danger then she supported him.
Not to mention, even though he was surrounded by narcotics constantly he still made it to his fourth month of sobriety.
So, the fact that she was calling him struck him as odd and plenty worthy of stepping out of the club to answer, "hey, what's up?"
What he heard broke his heart, sobs, sniffles, and then finally a terrible attempt at, "Inuyasha."
"Kagome?" He chimed back, "what's wrong? What happened? Are you alright?" All her heard was her crying more, "hey, is it your heart? Is that it? Are you at the hospital? Come on; tell me something, you're freakin' me out here."
"Sorry," she sniffled before she barely managed to say, "I'm sorry… but I won't see you anytime soon, 'kay?"
"Why?" he sped, "why? Why? Kagome, tell me, damn it, are you OK?"
"I'm sorry; I shouldn't have called you while you're at work…"
"If you don't tell me right now what's wrong I'm leaving to find you."
That got her sniffles to stop and a silent pause to start; she had to know he was telling the truth, "I just got a call. My grandpa is in the hospital… he's ill. I'll be going back to Nikko to see him. The… Inuyasha, the doctor said it doesn't look good. What do I do? He's all I have left… what would I do if something happened to him?"
"Kagome," he murmured back, "how about this? I'll come over to see you, a'right?"
"No, you shouldn't leave work."
"I don't care, you sound—"
"I'm not even at my home, I'm outside my church. I've been here for an hour praying for grandpa, I just… I wanted to call you I guess. I thought it would make me feel better."
"That place where Miroku works, right? That's your church?"
"Yeah."
"That place ain't so far from the club I'm at; it's a five minute walk at tops, just wait there—"
"No, really, you can't just walk out. You said you wanted to be more responsible, right? That's the opposite. At a job, you can't just do that." Of course, she knew a protest was going to come so she added, "how about I come see you instead? That way you won't leave work… and as awful as it seems, I kinda want something to drink."
"I don't know, you'd hate it here…"
"What's it called? I'll just get a cab," since she was sure that he'd offer to pick her up if she insisted on walking. So, he reluctantly agreed to give her the name and waited outside to get her out of the cab and into the club while others waited in a large line just to get a sight of the place.
He was right, she disliked the atmosphere and almost everything about it, but his hand was on the small of her back leading her around and that made everyone else bearable—was that alright?
"Here, just stay at the bar," he suggested as he pulled out a funny shaped probably 'stylish' stool for her to sit on, "I'll be right back, don't go wondering of, OK?"
"Alright," she nodded. Almost instantly she felt a presence beside, with reluctance she looked over to see a rather handsome man leaning against the bar next to him, the most piercing blue eyes. He looked familiar… had she seen him before?
"Excuse me, but I do think it's time we met," he grinned, surely he thought he was charming, most likely that pick up line had worked countless times for him before but she just sighed and turned her head.
"Not now, please go away."
"How can I when you're the prettiest girl in this whole place?"
She certainly doubted that, not that she thought herself unattractive it was just she didn't flaunt her features like those around her did, she wore what some would consider 'conservative' clothing, not showing any of her cleavage at all. "There are plenty of fish in the sea, bub."
"Of course there are, babe," he winked as he pulled up a stool to sit right next to her, "but you're the only one I'd love to catch and mount back at my place."
Her mouth literally dropped open at that as she turned her head back to stare wide-eyed at him, did he really just say that?
"You look upset, babe, and your eyes are all red from cryin'," he observed as he placed his arm upon the back of her chair and twisted to face her, "I can't stand to see such a beautiful girl so sad, so why not tell me what's wrong while I buy you something to drink?"
When he made his goal so obvious then why would she agree? Because… it did help to talk about her problems and she did want a drink. More importantly, he'd never get what he wanted because Inuyasha would surely return and the charming demon would back off when he saw she was with someone—though… she wasn't with Inuyasha, why'd she keep thinking like that?
All the same, she allowed him to buy her a drink, he was sure he knew what she'd like, too, so he ordered for her. As soon as they got their drinks she slowly began to explain her woes as she took a sip of her Cosmo every now and then.
"Wait, Nikko?" For the first time, he sounded genuinely interested—he even dropped his sultry tone for his naturally attractive husky voice.
"Uh-huh," she nodded, "that's where I'm from. My family has always tended to a shrine there."
"No way," he gawked, "really? I'm from there to, what's your name, babe?"
"Higurashi Kagome."
"I'm Akimoto Kouga, I know you grandpa."
"No you don't," she replied wryly.
"No, I really do," he assured, "my grandpa Akimoto Kin always went to the temple you guys tended to, your grandpa always came over to share weird ass tales of old times with mine. He'd always tell me these old stories about your temple and how it was named after a legendary jewel called the shikon."
That was her grandpa in a nutshell; she couldn't help but awe at how small the world was at times, "I remember your grandpa now that I think about it. How is he?"
"Passed away last year," he frowned.
"I'm sorry."
"Naw, it's alright, it happens," he shrugged, "but am I sorry to hear about you grandpas, when you go see him tell him Akimoto Kouga wishes him the best. He was always a resilient old man, I'm sure he'll be alright."
"Thank you," Kagome replied right as she felt an arm around her shoulders tug her into someone's chest.
"Leave her the fuck alone, Kouga," a harsh tone she knew so well barked.
"You aren't here with this guy, are ya'?" Kouga gripped as he thumbed to Inuyasha, "you can do so much better, baby."
"Like you?" Inuyasha muttered, "all he wants to do is screw you, trust me."
"Hell, you don't know me," Kouga countered.
"Boys, boys," Kagome interrupted, "please, settle down."
"I was just having a conversation with the lady, we're from the same town, I even know her grandpa," Kouga explained.
"Sure you do," Inuyasha growled.
"He does," Kagome assured as she pushed away enough to look up at the enraged man, "settle down, jeez, why are you always so rude?"
"What?" Inuyasha snapped back right as a set of thin arms wrapped around him, suddenly, so he almost lost his balance but barely caught it with his grasp on the waist of the girl that had jumped him.
"Yasha-kun!" The emerald eyed girl chimed as she leaned up to kiss him abruptly upon the lips, "I love you, you sexy, sexy man!"
"Yeah, sure, whatever," he muttered as he undid her arms and turned her around to push her towards Ginta, which, she promptly went to do the same thing to.
"She's drunk," Kouga chuckled.
Kagome couldn't help but odd with a raised brow, "You have an odd job, Inuyasha…"
"You're telling me," he grunted, "I think we should take her home."
"I agree," Kouga nodded as he stood up while his hand wandered in his pocket to pull out a card, "that's my number, babe, call me when you get back, alright? I'd like to hear how grandpa is doing."
"I will, thank you for your kind words," Kagome assured with a smile as she watched him walk off to grab the wobbling Ayame. The next thing she knew the card was snatched from her hand, she had to look up to see Inuyasha tear it apart. "Inuyasha!"
"I'll tell him for you, stay away from that dick," Inuyasha ordered.
"You are so rude!"
[…]
The station for the train was so busy, even early in the morning, she felt the fragile, feeble, beating organ within her was about to burst while she waited for hers to arrive. What if her grandpa…? What if… Her even breath she had been trying so hard to keep since she awoke to keep was lost before a hand grabbed her shoulder. With a sniffle and a quick wipe of her eyes she glanced up to the man who stood right next to her.
Somehow, everything was instantly better.
"Inuyasha," she smiled, "I told you that you didn't have to come."
"I wanted to," assured with a shrugged as he shoved his hands back into his packets, "how ya' doing?"
"OK," she supposed, "as well as I could in such circumstances."
"Would," he paused, "would… it help if you didn't go alone?"
"Who would I go with?" She innocently inquired.
"I have some time off, I could take a few days if you want," he replied nonchalantly.
"Really…? You'd do that for me?" She murmured. "I couldn't ask you to do that…"
"I," he pressed his lips briefly, "I want to, you've do a lot for me. It's the least I can do."
"I don't know… really, maybe you shouldn't. Do you have that much time? I'll be there for a few days. I don't want to be a burden on you. You're new at work, too."
"I've been there for two months, it'll be fine, what… do you just not want to come with? Just say so if that's it."
"But," she bit her bottom lip, that wasn't it at all. It was just… her grandpa had been taken to St. Raphael's. As if she didn't have enough to worry about as it was, she had to become ever so anxious about simply returning to that place—and to bring Inuyasha of all people with her?
What if…
But the way he unknowingly gave her precious pleading puppy eyes… how could she say no? In the end, they boarded the train together. Too bad, they wouldn't return the same way.
[…]
Wearily Kagome led him to the imposing figure that was St. Raphael's, even more reluctantly she entered the place with him. Kindly, he misunderstood her oddly silent behavior and worried gaze as something related to her grandfather—which, was partly true. To help her he even took her hand and squeezed it. For that, she had to manage a smile as they walked up a flight of steps to avoid the busy elevator and walk towards the room that she was told her grandfather was in.
Only to hear a familiar sound, his raised voice scolding a nurse for treating him like he was an old man before he spewed into a random tale about how things were in the old days—the ones from even before when he was born.
"He's alright," Kagome sighed as she squeezed Inuyasha's hand back, "he must be."
"Kagome! My beautiful grandbaby!" Her grandfather called out the moment he saw her in the doorway, "you've come to free me from this horrid place!"
"No, grandpa," she giggled as she freed her hand from Inuyasha's to grasp hers before her body, "not until the doctor says it's alright to."
"He actually will be fine by tomorrow," the nurse assured, "he just needs to add some vitamins to his diet and he probably won't be coming back anytime soon. He's actually quite healthy; it's impressive in a man his age."
"Thank you," Kagome whispered back, "and I'm sorry about his behavior, he's sort of senile."
"Not a problem," the nurse replied with a nod before she walked up to Kagome to silently said, "your grandpa's mind is feeble, he gets confused between his stories and reality. I think it would be best if he came to the hospital regularly to try and help him."
"I'm not senile!" Her grandpa shouted.
"Thank, I will talk him into it," Kagome smiled back before the nurse walked over to Inuyasha and nodded to him before she exited the room.
"Nor deaf, apparently," Kagome murmured as she walked up to his bed but by then his old eyes were no longer on her but the boy she had been with.
"Who are you?"
"Grandpa, this is my friend Inuyasha, please be nice," Kagome whispered harshly.
"You look like a delinquent," he countered with narrowed eyes, "if you dare lay a finger on my grandbaby I'll place a terrible curse on you!"
"Grandpa," Kagome hushed.
"Don't worry, old man," Inuyasha assured.
"I don't trust you," he muttered, "don't you dare impregnate her!"
Instantly, Kagome's cheeks flushed with color as her eyes darted away, "don't say that so loud, grandpa."
She barely managed to talk through her embarrassment while the stunned Inuyasha couldn't even grasp the idea of speaking until he took a step away and cleared his throat, "I'm… gonna go to the cafeteria to get something to drink. I'll let you two catch up."
"Grandpa, you are so embarrassing," Kagome complained as she pulled a seat up to his bed with a sigh.
"Is that the boy that you went to Tokyo for?" Her grandpa countered rather bitterly. "I don't understand why Kikyou-sama could not just go herself… why did she have to place such a burden on my ill grandbaby?"
"I wanted to do this for Kikyou-sama," Kagome insisted weakly, "I'm happy to…"
"I saw her the other day," he grandpa murmured before a more pressing matter apparently came to mind. "That boy has issues, once you finish whatever it is you are supposed to do, please," he plead with a rare serious façade as he placed one of his wrinkled hands upon her tightly clasped ones, "come home. I know a nice young boy from a good family that you can marry. Akitoki Houjo—"
"Grandfather," she sighed, "I've told you a thousand times no. I don't like him like that."
"But you two grew up together, you two are friends, friendships build the best marriages! This whole love thing that people are so interested in recent generations is foolish," he scoffed, "my parents decided that I should marry your grandmother, and I was very happy for a very long time. His family has a well established pharmaceutical company, too. He'll be able to provide for you once I am gone."
"Grandpa, I'm fine, please don't worry about me. We both know you'll live to be the oldest man on earth," she teased with her loving smile as she patted her hands on top of his.
"You are all I live for," he murmured as he shut his eyes, he was an elder fellow and had been through so much, it was reasonable that he was tired so early in the day. "It's a parent's worst nightmare to outlive his child… if not for you I don't know what I would have done. If not for Kikyou-sama or Suikotsu-sensei I do not know… what would have become of me."
"Without you… I wouldn't have made it," she whispered back as she got up enough to kiss his forehead, "go to sleep, grandpa. I'll be back tomorrow to see you."
"To check me out of here!" he protested before yawning, "stay at the house… don't waste money on a hotel."
"Of course, you just rest," she lifted the sheets up to his shoulders before turning off the lights and gently closing the door.
Once upon a time, she lived only for the aged man in the room behind her and a promise she made to someone precious to her… now, for the first time in all her life, she felt a wonderfully warm feeling that gave her existence meaning. And what sparked this? The sight of the silver haired hanyou walking back down the hallway with a coffee in hand to see her.
[…]
After a cab ride they arrived at her childhood home, a quaint two-story home in the midst of greenery and next to a well-kept shrine. Often, the prodigal child felt terrible about leaving her grandfather to take care of it all by himself so upon leaving she hired a keeper to help him. She should have known that once she had left he would dismiss the girl and not tell him until she returned to visit him once. It was useless to try and change his mind.
"Nice place," Inuyasha commented as they entered her home and slid off their shoes, "this is where you grew up, right?"
"Yeah, I love this place," she smiled.
It was a delusion, a happy one at that, but for the rest of the day she pretended as if they were joyfully living together. She cooked for him, they talked like any other day, it was perfect… just like how it was every time she spent it at his studio but there was something different being in her home town, in her childhood home, in a fine place to live happily ever after…
But that could never be them, now could it?
She made a wonderful dinner to boot; she made mizutaki, sukiyaki, and even udon-suki. She could tell right away Inuyasha was in heaven with all the food that he could devour. Though, it was obvious he felt a bit out of place in the generally traditional home. They'd have to sleep on a futon, ate at a table which they had to kneel at, other than the kitchen nothing was modern. He had grown up in a modern home, he told her—oddly enough, he talked more and more about his childhood while they were there.
The most awkward feeling fluttered about her chest, her gut, her everything once they parted ways to go to sleep. He took the guest room downstairs; she slept in the room that was always hers… it felt like old times when she changed into her white sleeping yukata, she was sure he was doing the same, too.
Sleep didn't come easily to her, she shifted about, sighed, and barely could keep her eyes closed so… she got up to go downstairs and make herself some warm tea, perhaps that would help her achieve slumber.
Her breath was hitched in her throat when she saw Inuyasha had thought something similar; expect he just wanted water since tea wasn't his thing.
"Hi," she murmured as she placed the pot onto the stove, "can't sleep?"
He shook her head, "I'm not really tired, I guess."
"Me either," she whispered as her eyes flickered between the pot and his, which constantly shifted to her and away. There was something there… that bothered them both. Or teased them?
They couldn't keep quiet, it would be torturous, "do you like it here or do you miss the city?"
"It's alright," he shrugged, "it different, there is actually fresh air out here…"
"Yeah," she smiled, "I like that, I miss it when I'm in Tokyo."
"Why did you move to Tokyo?"
"For something different," she murmured as he removed the whistling pot and poured herself a glass. Somewhere along the way she looked to Inuyasha and lost track of her hand coordination to drop the cup to splash everywhere, "oh, no!"
"Here, let me help," Inuyasha insisted as they both knelt down, it was a mistake that they almost hit each other but didn't that while they were both whipping the tea away they brushed their hands together. It was a mistake, but the little contact…
She placed the cup on the counter as he placed the rag there, "thanks."
"You're such a klutz," he teased with one of his classic grins.
"I know," she replied before she stepped away, he did at the same time, too, mistakenly blocking her. She stepped aside; he did the same, once more, another time… until they both just stopped, "we're out of sync today, aren't we?"
"Seems like it," he murmured.
"Thank you," she coaxed as she stepped closer to him, "for coming with me…"
"Not a problem," he mumbled back as his golden gaze flickered across her pretty face that was ever so near him. He leaned closer, she did, too, and somehow—neither were too certain who sparked it, both, perhaps?—their lips met as their eyes shut. His arms were the first to wrap around her, she palced hers upon his chest until sense returned to her.
It was wrong…
She pushed him away, not bothering to open her eyes, and covered her mouth as she fumbled through, "I… need to go to bed…" then rushed up the stairs with her frenzied beating heart.
He was left to wonder why…
[…]
The next morning she was up bright and early, dressed and ready to escape the anxious place to visit her senile grandpa. She hoped dearly that her companion was sleeping in late as he always did. Cautiously, she walked down the stairs as quietly as possible. Her beating chamber almost stopped completely to find Inuyasha uncharacteristically awake already, sitting at the table with a cup of steaming coffee.
They looked to each other, silently, then away as she started towards the door where she slipped her shoes on and placed her hand upon the door… but stopped and let go of the breath she knew she was holding to turn around and walk back into sight.
"We should talk…"
"I understand," he murmured back, "it was a mistake… you were upset, worried about your grandpa and I wasn't thinking straight, that's all."
Though, he did not sound certain of himself, that perhaps he was waiting—wanting?—her to counter that, to say 'no, you're wrong,' she just pressed her lips together and nodded before leaving. He wasn't right, there were bigger reasons behind it but he had the right idea—they shouldn't be… it wasn't fair, she couldn't allow it.
Even if she wanted that, more than anything… when had everything gone so wrong?
[…]
He didn't know what to do with himself when hours had passed without her return. He tried not to think about it, she wasn't avoiding him just visiting her grandpa that's all. Maybe she had a set of cards around? He could play solitude, there was no to TV there just like at his studio—which he really didn't care about. So he wandered about, rummaging through drawers here and there. Finally, he found the red patterned set of cards but before he shut it a picture caught his eye.
One that made his breath stop.
Slowly, he reached in to get a better look at the photo that had to be a lie. A completely lie. His eyes were lying, the photo was a farce. It could not be true because… because… there was no way that it was really Kagome standing, smiling, with an arm around the waist of none other than his younger sister, his Kikyou who was also smiling.
How could that be…?
She had known her the whole time? What the fuck did that mean? He yanked open the door more to grasp the container that held the rest of the photos—she had invaded his privacy once, why not return the favor? Each photo made his hand shake more and more, his breath quicken, what the hell? He scattered the photos of the two of them, at a hospital, at a park, then a familiar doctor.
When the door opened and shut he was there to grasp Kagome's arm and push her against the wall quicker than she could comprehend.
"Inuyasha?" She murmured, dazed, as she glanced about him, "what's going on…?"
"What the fuck is this?" He growled as he shook a photo in front of him, "what the fuck?"
Her brows flexed as she glanced up to him then the photo, right away all the confusion disappeared. Oh… that explained that. "Wh… where did you get that?"
"Does that matter? What the fuck are doing? Huh? What do you want from me? You've known Kikyou all this time? What the fuck, Kagome?"
"I… I…" she simply shut her eyes and covered her face with both her hands instead of saying another word.
"You better explain it now," Inuyasha snarled as he shook her lightly, "damn it, now."
"K… Kikyou-sama," she murmured as she slowly dragged her hands down to her nose, so she could look at him weakly. "She was my nurse when I was admitted to St. Raphael's all those times. I don't know what I would have done without her. I could tell her anything, she was always willing to listen and she was so kind…"
"So… you've known all along? That she was my sister?"
She just nodded to that.
"Is that why you found me? Is it?" He scowled. "Why you were so annoying about helping me?"
"Yes…" she meekly replied as she looked up at his angered ambers.
"Why?"
"B… because…"
"Why?" He repeated as he slammed his fists against the wall beside her head, causing her to jump some and inhale swiftly. "Tell me, damn it!"
"I… for… forgiveness," she stuttered, "I wanted to help you to make up for my mistakes."
"What?" He snarled with a cocked brow. "Fuck it, where's Kikyou?"
"She…"
"Kagome!"
"She's dead!" She shouted back as she shut her eyes and turned her face away. There was so much silence… it killed her, she didn't even feel his breath against her skin.
"What do you mean…?"
"I… I am so sorry," she murmured, there was no stopping the terrible tinge she felt behind her shut lids, the tears wouldn't stop. "I'm sorry…"
"You've known this all along?! And you never told you!? What the fuck's wrong with you!?"
"I… I couldn't… I'm sorry."
"What happened to her?" He growled between clenched teeth when he grasped her shoulders and shook her so she had to look at him with her watery eyes. "What happened?"
"I…"
"No more stuttering!"
She jumped once more as she took a shaky breath in, he was right… it was time to confess her sin, for the first time to anyone but a priest. To the only one that could never forgive her, "I killed her. I killed her… I can't take it back, I'm sorry about it, if I could rewind time and undo what I did I would but I can't… I'm so sorry, Inuyasha. I am so sorry."
Too bad, words never cut it for something so horrid of an action. Particularly, when the one to whom she was confessing to was not a forgiving soul.
There went their chance at a happily ever after...
A/N: Again, I should be practicing for a presentation but... I haven't had any steady ideas for this story in quite some time so I couldn't help myself.
Thank you oh so much for all the reviews, it really has been great :)
Please keep it up.