The Introduction:

The disclaimer: Burn count - Rumiko: 3 Me: 300
See, Inuyasha? Join the dark side and get way more burns...

So, how long has Takahashi been trapped in her basement writing this? Eleven years? How long have I been asleep? What else did I miss? Inuyasha carrying Sesshoumaru's love child? Sango revealing herself as a transvestite hooker? Shippo- wait, no. I don't care. Damn you, Kikyo's knock-people-out-for-decades arrows!

Where were we? Oh, yes. Let's wrap this up, shall we? Since the last update, Kikyo, Kagura and Kanna have died. Kanna never became a public speaker. Kagura never managed to have a decent makeout scene with Sesshy. Kikyo never became fertilizer. What kind of ending is that? Well, whatever.

Naraku has spawned 30 more creatures who are either in Kagura's favorite 'lurking' stage of life or have committed suicide by some means of fight. Inu has decided to become an angsting emotional wreck so that Kagome is forced into compassion overdrive. Some of us think she is not so much the incarnation of Kikyo as she is the incarnation of a Care-Bear. Uncomfortable shoulder touching is exchanged.

Fans who have been deprived of fluff for six hundred episodes crawl out of their comas and pray to their almighty fluff god that maybe some issues will be resolved. Their prayers are in vain.

Ten / one hundred more episodes / chapters pass. Inu thinks he has learned something new about his:
a) Father, who, despite being a sexy beast employed for fanservice, is merely a pawn in the sick game creators are playing.
b) Sword, which has really done nothing but give us an excuse to watch Sessh brood and glance at Rin… curiously? God, please save the innocents.
c) Umm… Fleas, which have secretly ravaged his once silky coat, making it course and unmanageable. And Kagome keeps bringing him shampoos that are not specifically for his dry, split ends! The Angst!

Continuing onward down our spiraling death of all that anime stands for, we'll meet… someone reach into the bag of clichéd monsters and pull out a good one! Or are there any suggestions from the audience?

"Aging vampire!"

"Nympho Werewolf!"

"A scantily-clad mudblood!"

Harry Potter, I told you to stay in your own fandom! This should not be a crossover. Ever. It stands alone, like a noble lion on a pile of shit. And maybe the lion is emaciated and a little bit effeminate, but it's our lion! Get out! Aren't you dead yet?

"No! That was a false rumor spread by- OW!"

Now that Harry Potter has been disposed of, we can return to the task at hand. So an… aging nympho werewolf vampire… what works? Oh, right. When in doubt… Kidnaps Kagome!

There is much gasping and Inuyasha self-loathing and… remember the angst? It's back!

Next Episode: MadLibs are fun! (Verb), Inuyasha! Save (Pathetic Human Girl) from (Generic Monster)!

Those with no sense of humor stopped reading around chapter four or recently popped an artery. Flames will be donated to charities to save the lives of the humorless. ANGST!

Those with a sense of humor are invited to dance with my coven on the equinox, then get bored, go home and eat brownies. More is coming. BEWARE!