Oh, this silence
It's so violent
Since you're gone

Dean closed the washroom door behind him and stood there looking at himself in the mirror. He had pulled over at a gas station telling Sam he needed to use the washroom. Sam had given him that puppy look almost asking to come with him. Dean had quickly left the impala and moved towards the gas station fast. He looked down at his watch and could feel the time just slipping past him. He had four hours left. Four hours and then he, Dean Winchester would be dead. He looked back up at the mirror and saw the fear in his eyes. He tried so hard to hide it from Sam but he just couldn't sometimes. Sam was hoping beyond hope that killing Lilith would save Dean but Dean wasn't so sure. He really didn't think they could do it.

He turned the water on and splashed cold water on his face. He looked at Kat's bracelet when the coin gently hit the sink and cause a soft ding sound to echo in the washroom. He wore it around his wrist never taking it off. He had seen Bobby looking at it but not once had he asked him where it came from. Dean had a feeling that Sam had told Bobby everything so Bobby hadn't needed to ask. Dean stood up and looked at himself in the mirror again.

"Kitten, I know you can't hear me but... I need to say this. In four hours, my ass is going to be deader than a doornail and.... I have some things I never got to tell you so this is going to have to do," he said softly wishing he could tell her this to her face. "Katerina, I never really loved someone, anyone, before the way I loved you. A couple girls came close but you... God, you were the one I could have spent forever with. I screwed up when I left by telling you I didn't love you. I lied. I wish you knew that. I wish... It doesn't matter. I just hope you're happy. I haven't been a praying man, but if I did pray... It would be for your happiness. You deserve better than me; I hope you got it."

He jumped when he heard banging on the door and Sam calling his name. He looked down at the bracelet one last time. He wiped his face with the sleeve of his jacket and walked to the door. He pulled it open only to have Sam almost fall in while he was trying to pick the lock. He looked up at Dean. Dean looked at him and shook his head.

"Really? I can't even go for a pee by myself anymore?" he asked walking out as Sam shoved his lock pick kit in his jacket.

"I was just getting worried," Sam protested.

"Yeah, whatever. Let's go."

"Dean, are you okay?"

"Just peachy, Sammy, considering I'm a corpse waiting to happen."

"Dean," Sam said using that damn tone paired with that damn puppy face. He looked at Dean and saw the harsh look on his brother face immediately soften. He waited for Dean to say something.

"I know, Sammy, I know. Come on, let's just get going, we are wasting time," he said softly.

"Alright."

Dean climbed into the impala and started up his baby. It was not lost on him that this would probably be the last time that he ever drove his car. He turned and looked at Sam as Sam climbed in the car. There were so many things he wanted to tell his brother but knew he wouldn't. He didn't want to break that tiny hope that Sam had left. No, he would be the carefree older brother that Sam had always known and looked up to. If time ran out, Dean would tell Sam the important things and that was that. No use making it more painful for the both of them. Dean started the car and drove off getting on the open highway and tried to forget how much time he had left.

***

Jensen climbed out of the makeup trailer and looked at the young blond girl that was waiting for him. He had never seen her before. Then again, this was their first day back on set since the writer's strike ended. He had been hoping to see Kat again after two long months. He had some things he needed to tell her. The first being he was no longer with Danneel. He had did some thinking and realized that Danneel wasn't the girl for him. She had freaked out again and thrown a tantrum which had only proved to Jensen she wasn't the one. Lately, the more and more he thought about it, he was beginning to think that Kat was the one. Not that he ever got the chance to tell her or anything since she wasn't answering his calls and hardly answered his emails either.

"Ah, can I help you?" Jensen asked the girl as she smiled at him and giggled.

"Hi, I'm Annie, the new PA," she said offering her hand.

"What? Did Joel quit?"

"No, Joel is still here. I am replacing Katerina."

Jared came out of the trailer at that exact moment. He winced and looked around for a place to hide before Jensen saw him. He had known about Kat quitting two months ago. She had called him and they had gone out to lunch and she had explained that she just couldn't handle it. She couldn't deal with seeing Jensen every day; it hurt her too much because she wanted Dean to be there not Jensen. And then with the baby on the way, she didn't need that stress. Jared had agreed not to tell anyone and now he knew he was going to be regretting that decision right now. He watched as Jensen turned to face him.

"Did you know Kat quit?" Jensen demanded.

"Well... Define knowing," Jared said smiling at Annie.

"Jared."

Jensen heard Annie walk away after his harsh tone. He looked at Jared and his friend sighed. He grabbed Jared's arm and pulled him around the back of the trailer. He shoved Jared against it and glared at him.

"You knew, didn't you?" he demanded.

"Kat asked me not to tell anyone. She's having a tough time, Jen. And coming to work and seeing you every day wasn't helping," Jared said.

"What does that mean?"

"You know what it means! You look just like the man she gave her heart to, you idiot! Hell, you spend most of every day pretending to be him! Don't you think that that would be hard to deal with?"

Jensen looked at Jared and realized that Jared might have a very valid point. He shoved his hands in his pockets and shook his head. He had never thought of it that way before. He had never thought that Kat might actually have feelings for Dean and that she missed him. He had tried to tell himself that Dean hadn't meant that much to Kat. He looked at Jared and realized that by the look on his friend's face that that wasn't the case.

"She loved him, didn't she?" he asked softly.

"She did and still does. Jen, I am sorry I didn't tell you but... Kat asked me not to. She didn't want to hurt you. She still cares about you," Jared explained.

"I care about her. Jared, I... I broke up with Danneel and I want... I want to be with Kat."

Jared took a deep breath. This was definitely what Kat didn't need right now. She didn't need Jensen trying to hook up with her. Jared stepped forward and placed a hand on Jensen's shoulder. He looked at his friend and shook his head giving him what he hoped was a sympathetic look.

"Jensen, I would love nothing more than to see you and Kat together but... You're too late man. There is no way she is going to be able to be with you after everything that went down with Dean. I'm sorry, but I think you should just settle for trying to be her friend," he told him softly.

"Maybe you're right. I just... I'll need to talk to her first," Jensen said.

"I don't-."

"Hey, Dumb and Dumber, you two are wanted in wardrobe, now," Joel said walking over.

"We're moving, Mickey Mouse," Jensen said walking away from Jared. Jensen didn't care what Jared had to say he was going to talk to Kat and see what she said before he gave up on this.

***

Kat stepped out of the shower and grabbed the towel. She dried herself off and smiled as she ran her hands over her stomach. It had started to get round and the doctor had told her that any day now she should be feeling her baby move. She couldn't wait for that moment. She wrapped the towel around her body and one around her hair. She stepped in front of her mirror and looked at herself. She looked tired and drained. She still wasn't sleeping well, no matter how hard she tried to. The dreams of Dean were holding her back. She would wake up crying. Even now just thinking about Dean tears rolled down her cheeks. She wiped her tears away. She looked down and griped the sides of her sink to hold herself up.

"I just.... I wish I could see him again. I just need to see him again," she said again and again. The tears rolled down her cheeks as she thought about seeing his beautiful green eyes again and his smile. She ignored the surge of power she felt though her body.

She looked up at the mirror and stopped breathing. There in front of her was Sam and Dean; the image was fuzzy but she knew that it was Sam and Dean. She reached out and touched her mirror and suddenly the fuzzy image became clear and she got sound.

"I'm not going to let you go to Hell, Dean!" Sam yelled.

"Yes, you are!" Dean yelled back.

"Oh God," Kat muttered realizing what she had done; she had turned her mirror into a seeing pool. She was about to get a front row seat to witness what she knew was going to end in Dean's death. More tears rolled down her cheeks but she couldn't look away or turn it off. She needed so badly to see Dean.

"I'm sorry, this is all my fault I know that. But what you're doing, it's not going to save me, it's only going to kill you," Dean said softly. Kat saw the bruises on Dean's face and ached to reach out to touch him. She wanted to know who had put those bruises there.

"What am I suppose to do?" Sam asked tears coming to his eyes.

"No, not like this, please," Kat muttered closing her eyes.

"Keep fighting... Take care of my wheels... Sammy, remember what Dad taught you, kay?" Dean asked seeing Sam nod, "Remember what I taught you."

Kat's body started shaking when she heard the clock strike midnight. She placed her hand on her stomach and more tears fell. She opened her eyes and looked at the mirror. She saw Ruby standing there. She stopped though. Something was different about her though. Kat touched the mirror and suddenly Ruby's face took up the entire mirror. She looked into her eyes and swore.

"No.... THAT'S NOT RUBY!" she screamed slamming her hands on either side of the mirror. She could see the white eyes and what Lilith really looked like underneath the body that Ruby had been using. She watched as the first Hellhound appeared and they ran from the room. She screamed over and over but Dean and Sam couldn't hear her. She finally stopped when her throat went hoarse.

"Wait! Sam, that's not Ruby!" Dean finally said when they were in a room together away from the Hellhounds.

"That's my man," Kat whispered looking at Dean. More tears rolled down her cheeks when she watched as Lilith pinned him down on the table. She started shaking again. She had a white knuckle gripe on the skin to keep herself standing.

She heard banging on the door but she ignored it. She focused on the scene in front of her. She didn't even hear what Sam, Dean and Ruby were saying anymore. She was just watching Dean. She watched his face and could read every emotion like they were her own. He was scared; terrified that Lilith was going to kill Sam after him and it would be his fault. He was scared about going to Hell; he knew what they would do to him there.

"Sic him, boys," Lilith said opening the door and letting the Hellhounds in.

"No, please.... PLEASE, NO!" Kat cried out placing her hand against the mirror.

She watched as the Hellhounds grabbed Dean. She closed her eyes when she saw them rip his leg open. She heard his screams though. Oh god, his screams. She opened her eyes and saw them tear open his chest. She started to sob then grasped in shock. Dean screamed again and she felt their baby move inside of her. It felt like a flutter but she felt it. That was the last straw. She collapsed in a heap of tears on the bathroom floor sobbing her arms wrapped around her stomach protectively. She heard Dean scream one last time then all she heard was Sam. She sobbed more.

"Kat! Kitty Kat, open the door!" she heard Jensen yell as he banged on her door.

"He's gone, he's gone and our baby knows. Oh god, our baby knows," Kat cried not hearing Jensen. She started rocking back and forth. She didn't react when she heard the door slam open.

Jensen heard Kat crying. He walked into her apartment after busting the door and went looking for her. The search took him about a minute and he found her in the bathroom. He looked at the mirror and saw Sam cradling Dean's dead body in his arms. He was a little shocked even knowing that Kat was a witch. He watched as the scene changed and he saw Dean chained in what he could only imagine was Hell.

"Oh god," he said looking around for something to stop the damn show playing on the mirror.

"Sam! Sammy! Help! KAT! HELP ME!" Dean screamed.

Kat sobbed more. She felt someone shaking her but all she could hear was Dean. Then suddenly his screaming stopped. She looked up and saw Jensen standing there with a heavy vase the mirror in a million pieces around them. She was still shaking when Jensen swung her up in his arms.

"He's gone," she whimpered burying her face in his neck.

"Shhh, I know, shhh, Kitty Kat, I know," Jensen whispered carrying her into her room. He sat on her bed and held her in his arms as she sobbed. He didn't care that she was only in a towel, she needed someone.

Kat sobbed into Jensen's neck. All she could hear was Dean's voice echoing in her ear begging her for help. She wanted him to be the one holding her. She was just so drained, emotionally and physically that she didn't have the willpower to push Jensen away. She felt her baby move again and more tears fall. She didn't know if she could be strong for her child.