Juliet watched her partner in horror as he raised the gun to his temple. The world moved around her in slow motion, her frantic heart beating against her chest, willing her to step in.

"I'm done," her partner's voice said, his eyes glossed over with defeat.

"Carlton! No!" she screamed for the millionth time, lunging for the gun. Maybe this time she could stop him. Maybe this time it would be okay.

She grabbed his hand while a loud fire echoed in her ears and she froze, watching in slow motion as the bullet glided out of the barrel of the gun and tore through her chest.

Over and over again.

"Carlton!" she cried out, falling to the ground. The gushing hole drained red across her chest and onto her pregnant stomach, the skin searing in waves of fire. Her vision clouded over, heavy shadows encompassing her almost immediately.

Her eyes flickered as she willed herself to stay awake, but she couldn't, her breath sucked from her chest, rendering it impossible to move oxygen through her lungs.

A warm calm overcame her, and she sighed, letting the darkness take her away.

Again.

And again.

And again.

Stay alive, Mommy!

A new voice interrupted her dream, and she gasped, filling her sore lungs with air.

Stay alive!

Her baby!

Her eyes snapped open, and she found herself carefully tucked in a hospital bed. She looked down at her stomach, moving her stiff hand to her belly, where she had become accustomed to running her fingers along a little baby elbow or knee. But when she placed her hand alongside her belly button, she felt her stomach nearly deflated.

Her heart stopped, sending a wave of panic ricocheting through her veins. Her eyes darted around, trying to make sense of her surroundings. Her groggy detective mind was working in overdrive, trying to understand what had happened. She felt entangled in wires, tubes, and cords that wrapped around every limb and pressed sore dents into her tired skin.

It wasn't just a dream, she thought, a knot twisting in the pit of her stomach. I got shot. And she's gone. I never even got to meet her.

She attempted to look around but the second she shifted her sweaty head on the plastic pillow, she became acutely aware of the long, thick tube scratching the back of her throat. It startled her and she attempted to reach up and move the tube, but her arms wouldn't budge above her waist, secured tightly in place by a soft bracelet on either wrist.

Get out.

She tried to scream but no sound came out. She tried to move but she felt completely trapped by her surroundings.

Let me out!

She tried to call for help but was met only with the loud screams of the machines that surrounded her. Panic filled her lungs and she began to cough, pain instantly radiating from her shoulder to her sternum as she did, recruiting more alarms to echo in the air around her. She tried to catch her breath, but it felt impossible. Something was blocking her throat and she felt like she was breathing through a straw.

Within an instant, a slew of faces were hovering around her, saying words to her that she couldn't quite hear. She was still trying to put all the information together, attempting to filter out any information that could have helped her make sense of what was happening to her.

How did I get here?

Her eyes darted around the room, trying to find the one person she knew could make it make sense. The one person she needed. And the one person she was so afraid to see. After all, this was all her fault. She was the one who sucked at being pregnant. And she was the one who had broken her bed rest without telling anyone where she would be. And she was the one who had thrown herself and her baby in front of a loaded gun. She had almost taken everything from him, all in one royally idiotic move.

She was almost afraid to see him. That is, until one of the doctors stepped slightly aside and she finally found him, hugging the back wall of the room like it was his job, fear washing over his face as his eyes darted from her to all the people moving around her. As soon as Juliet saw him, she felt tears begin to sting her eyes.

There was so much pain in his face. His hair was slightly overgrown, as was the stubble of his beard. His darting eyes shone red, surrounded by dark bags that drew a stark contrast with the rest of his pale face. He didn't look like he had slept in days.

"Shaw-" she tried to say, but was instantly reminded that she couldn't speak by the thick tube that blocked her vocal cords and hit her gag reflex with each movement of her tongue. The tapping forced her into a coughing fit once again, sending sharp, stabbing sensations down her chest. Each breath stung worse than the last and she began to panic, shallow breaths turning into hyperventilation as she felt all her control over the situation evaporate into thin air.

She couldn't do anything right. She had lost their baby, and now she couldn't even breathe without alerting the cavalry that something was happening. She had failed. She had had one job as a mother, and she had completely failed. Tears of distress and mourning ran down her cheeks as she attempted to break free, but the more she moved the more alarms went off and the more hands she felt on her body, holding her to the bed and talking at her.

"Jules!" She finally heard his voice break through the commotion around her. She felt momentary relief overwhelm her. At least he wasn't mad at her for killing their baby. Or if he was, he didn't show it. She looked up and saw Shawn standing over her, one hand reaching down to grasp her hand so tight, she felt her fingers squishing together, and one hand running through her hair and down her cheek. He was so patient. He was so gentle. He wasn't mad at her. Tears of relief initiated a new round of alarms from around her which quickly transitioned her breath back into panicked gasping.

"Jules, Jules, you need to breathe," Shawn said. His voice echoed in her brain over the commotion around them, but she took a deep inhale and gently let it out. She saw Shawn look up for a moment, nod, and then look back down at her.

"Good job, sweetheart," he said, continuing to run his hand across her head and raise his own chest slowly and distinctly for emphasis. "Just like that."

Listening to his voice, she could feel herself slowly calming down. Her heart stopped pounding so hard against her sore chest and each breath felt easier to take.

"In and out…" Shawn said over and over, occasionally looking around for instruction but always coming right back to her eyes.

The movement made her tired. Her chest felt tight and sore. She just wanted to go to sleep. She just wanted this nightmare to be over. Slowly, she let her eyes fall shut, just for a moment.

"Jules!" Shawn said quickly over the sudden chorus of alarms, squeezing her hand and refocusing her tired eyes on his face. "Jules, I need you to stay awake, okay?"

She nodded slowly, not understanding. But she could feel the desperation and urgency in his voice. It felt important to stay awake, so she did, following his breathing as best she could.

"I need you to breathe with me so you can get this tube out. I need you to name your daughter."

Her eyes got wide and she looked at him for confirmation.

"Jules, we have a baby," he said, his eyes watering up as he nodded. "You lost so much blood that they had to deliver her." She watched him in disbelief as he began recounting the last few days. Her fingers slid across her stomach until she found a long piece of gauze that traced the edge of where her bump used to be. Back when she could keep her baby safe inside her.

"But it's okay. She's okay now!" Shawn flipped his phone around and Juliet squinted to see a tiny face poking out of a blanket sprawled across Shawn's chest. He was looking up, laughing at Gus's back which was barely in the frame of the picture.

"And Jules, she's already grown so much! She was not even three pounds when she was born, but the nurse said that she hit three pounds last night!" He flipped through his phone and pulled up another picture of a purple tinted baby with stickers and tubes covering every inch of her skin, glowing a bright blue. She had on a mini eye mask that covered practically her entire face.

What did I miss? The thought of her underdeveloped daughter wrapped up in cords who knows where flipped her stomach over and over again.

"There was something wrong with her liver the other night, but they put her under this blue light and she's all better now. The doctors say she's doing amazing, especially for being so premature. And they said that you were very lucky. That whole bleeding scare and needing steroids really saved her life. She's breathing on her own and has even started eating with a bottle!"

Juliet was fixated on Shawn's screen as he flipped through more photos of the tiny baby, some of her in a little incubator bed, some of her being held by Shawn or Gus or Henry. Panic started to fill her lungs again, threatening to suffocate her.

Had everyone held her baby but her?

Shawn studied her face, and quickly put his phone away, redirecting his attention entirely to her.

"Just breathe, Sweetheart," he said, his hand surrounding her cheeks, "It's okay, in and out."

She followed his breathing, focusing on his chest rising and falling above her and his hand stroking her tangled hair.

"She's doing so well, Jules. She is a fighter, just like her Mom." He squeezed her hand tightly. "And right now, she needs her Mom to get this tube out so she can meet her and name her. Because I don't know if child protective services would look too kindly on me calling her Pineapple for the rest of her life."

Juliet smiled, squeezing his hand back and taking deep breaths. The sting was mild and she felt better, knowing just how hard Shawn had worked to take care of both of them while they were both so sick. They would always be just fine with him looking out for them.

"That's thirty minutes," a nurse said, interrupting Shawn's one-sided conversation. "You ready to get the tube out?"

Juliet nodded, squeezing Shawn's hand tighter. But he never stopped talking, keeping her calm and distracted as people worked quickly around her until, with one big breath and a small cough, she was free.

"I want to see my baby," Juliet said, the second she had regained her breath through the skinny tube placed under her nose.

"You can see her just as soon as you can get out of here," Shawn said, trying to reassure her as the nurses finished listening to her breathe and walked out of the room, finally leaving Juliet alone with Shawn.

"I need to see her," Juliet interrupted, no longer hearing a word he was saying.

"I don't know if you can leave just yet..." Shawn said softly, patting a gentle hand over hers.

"No. You don't understand. I need to see her." She could feel her breathing become more labored and choppier, but she had lost the drive to control it. With each inhale, the stretch of her ribs sent a fiery tug across her skin, and with every exhale, the contraction of her diaphragm squeezed at her chest forcing her back into a sharp inhale. "I need to see her," she began whispering absentmindedly, grimacing as she tried to sit up. "I need to see her."

"Jules, no. Just wait for the doctor to come in." she could feel his weight pushing down on her shoulders as she attempted to sit up.

"Shawn! Please! Let go of me!" She started breathing heavily, the movement causing the chest tube running down her side to pull, scratching the inside of her ribs.

"Jules, baby, please wait," Shawn said, still pushing down on her shoulders. "Just let me go get the doctor.

Juliet continued trying to push him off of her, continued weakly flailing her arms out of his grasp until the pain and the worry and the hurt all took over at once and she collapsed onto the bed, unable to hold it together anymore. Bitter saltwater spilled down her cheeks and she covered her face tightly with her hands, not wanting to let the tears escape, but unable to keep them anymore.

"I thought I was going to die," Juliet whispered between sobs.

"I did too," Shawn responded quietly.

"I thought I killed her," she said, even quieter, afraid to even put the words into the universe.

"But you didn't," he said, bringing her hands to his lips and placing a soft kiss on them.

"I'm so sorry," she sobbed. "I'm so sorry."

"Jules," Shawn said, and she could feel the bed shift under his weight as he sat next to her on the bed. He reached up, gently pulling her hands away from her face. "You'll see her. You're going to see your baby. We just need to ask the doctor first, okay, cause I really need you to be okay too. She's okay. Gus is with her."

"He is?" She asked, trying to calm her pained, shallow breaths.

"Every second that I'm not." She smiled, letting him kiss her hands again. "I'm gonna go talk to a doctor. You're going to see our baby."

Forty minutes and a very convincing performance on Shawn's part later, Juliet was set up in a wheelchair, monitors and tubes and oxygen connected to a pole that the nurse was pushing as Shawn stood behind her, pushing her slowly across a bridge overlooking the red bricks of the city on one side and the ocean on the other.

"Does anything hurt?" Shawn whispered, taking every turn or bump in the ground excruciatingly slowly.

"I'm fine," she said, putting a hand over his to ease his mind. It was taking every fiber of her being to not jump up out of the wheelchair and sprint to her baby's room. She'd find her eventually, right? Mother's intuition or something.

But she stayed put, letting Shawn expertly guide them through the halls, saying hi to every single person they passed by name. The security guard. The janitor. Other parents. She was infinitely grateful for Shawn in that moment. Grateful she had him and grateful that their baby had him. She couldn't imagine trusting her with anyone else.

They rounded another turn and Juliet could feel Shawn pick up the pace. He squeezed her shoulder before turning in front of a dimly lit room with a sliding glass door and pastel curtain.

"This is it," he whispered to her, sliding open the door and pushing the curtain out of the way.

Juliet looked around the room. It wasn't big, cluttered by weeks of clothes and snacks and Shawn and Gus' work supplies. Right in the middle of the room was a small incubator with a blanket pulled partially aside, Gus leaning up against the glass talking to the baby.

"Don't worry baby, I'll get you out of any trouble your daddy gets you into," Gus said to the incubator.

"Dude! No fair!"

Gus quickly looked over, shock washing over his face when he saw that Shawn finally wasn't alone.

"Juliet!" He cried, hopping down from the chair and rushing quickly towards Juliet. Before she could say anything, she felt Gus' arms tightly around her. Pain rushed across her chest as she attempted to hug him back, but she didn't mind. She was so grateful for him for being there- being with her baby when she couldn't- that the pain felt minuscule compared to the overwhelming love she felt for her husband's best friend in that moment.

"You're okay!"

"Gus!" Shawn said, defensively pushing him off her shoulders. "You're going to hurt her!"

"Don't push me!" Gus said, swatting Shawn's arm back over Juliet's head.

"I will push you if I want to!"

"Boys!" Juliet cried out from below their arms. "Calm down!"

"Gus," she said when they finally stopped hitting each other, "I really appreciate it. And I appreciate you staying with her while I couldn't."

Gus stood up straighter, shooting a look to Shawn over her head.

"Hey Shawn," Juliet said, twisting in the wheelchair to look at Shawn. "Mind if I hold my baby now?"

"Oh! Of course!" he said, pushing her farther into the room and lining her up with the side of the incubator. A nurse in colorful scrubs walked in behind them, helping him open up the lid of the bed and untangle cords.

Juliet turned to look at the fragile baby. Her little belly stretched up and down with each breath and her bony fingers reached out sporadically. It seemed impossible that she could be any smaller and yet, according to Shawn, she had already grown so much.

"You ready?" the NICU nurse asked. Juliet looked up, startled, having forgotten there was anyone else in the room. She looked around the room for a second, her eyes catching on a small group of nurses who were gathered at the door, all beaming. According to Shawn, their story had become the talk of the town.

Shawn pulled up a chair next to her and caught her eyes. She looked at him and nodded, feeling her heart beating uncontrollably. He smiled back at her, excitement flashing across his face.

"Here she is," The nurse said, carefully lifting the flimsy baby out of the bed. Shawn helped her unbutton the left side of her gown so she could have skin to skin time with her baby. The nurse carefully rolled the baby onto Juliet's bare chest. Juliet felt little tingles of lightning dance across her chest where her baby laid, curled up under her gown. But it wasn't painful. In fact, all of her pain was instantly gone the second they placed her baby on her chest. She watched her carefully, feeling her rapid heartbeat against her skin and each breath under her palms.

She was holding her baby. Shawn was holding her. They were all together and they were all alright. Tears started to leak off her cheeks when she heard a sad squeak from the corner of the room. She looked up to see Gus's face scrunched up, tears falling down his own face rapidly.

"Dude, hold it together!" Shawn said, throwing a tiny diaper from the edge of the bed at Gus. Gus quickly caught the diaper and threw it back at Shawn.

"Children!" Juliet exclaimed at them, but she was smiling. Nothing could ruin her perfect mood.

"Sweetheart," Shawn said gently, stroking their baby with the back of his finger absentmindedly, "We still have to name her."

Juliet looked down at the tiny baby in her arms, then back up at her husband, his deep eyes fixated on her.

"I think I have the perfect name in mind."