A/N: Time for fifth chapter!
Disclaimer: I do not own R-
Lawyer: Excuse me, are you Anime Fan18.0?
(Blink, blink) Yes, I am.
Lawyer: You are being sued for not disclaiming owning Ratchet and Clank.
Oh really…even though I've said it for four chapters now?
Lawyer: (Looks nervous) Y-you can't prove that!
Don't have to! (Blows lawyer up)
Lawyer (faintly): I'll be baaaaaaaack…
This is the part where I say: I don't own Ratchet and Clank! HA, take THAT Lawyer!!!
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Clank snapped out of it, and called, "Yes, I am coming. I just have a lot going through my mind…that is all,"
"You and me both," Ratchet said. With that said, Clank sprinted to catch up with the rest of the gang as they headed to the palace of the Great King of Nifan 3…
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"SAY WHAT!?" Nefarious screeched. The three remaining robots, two DZ Strikers and an Executioner, had reported back, telling Nefarious of how the attack was a failure.
"They were simply too strong," The Executioner said. (Yes, they can talk! The one who captured Ratchet first asked him if he was Ratchet) Nefarious' head was sparking; he was furious!
"You're dismissed!" he spat. The Executioner turned around and started to walk off…
BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
…when Nefarious blew him up with a purple blast from his hand. The other two were about to run, but Nefarious quickly caught them and tore off their heads. The two robotic bodies dropped to the floor, and Nefarious threw the heads elsewhere.
"Should I call upon Master Vox, sir?" Lawrence, who had stood by watching, asked.
"Oh yes…" Nefarious said darkly. "I'M GOING TO CHEW HIM OUT!"
"Temper, temper," Lawrence reminded him, "I wouldn't have to take away Mr. Tinkles, now would I?"
Nefarious looked worried at the thought of Lawrence hiding his teddy bear. He then shot a glare. "You wouldn't dare!"
"Oh really?" Lawrence asked. He then pulled out a phone and said, "Do it" into it.
"Do what?" Nefarious asked. Suddenly:
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
Nefarious heard an explosion, and then realized what happened. "AHHHHHH!!! NO, YOU BLEW UP MR. TINKLES!!! MR. TIIIIIIIIINKLEEEEEEEEEES!!!" Nefarious fell to the ground sobbing. "He was –sob-…the BEST teddy bear-sob-…I ever haaaaad! Wahahaaaaaaaa…"
Lawrence did something he rarely did; smile. "Sir, I have a question for you,"
Nefarious looked up at him, oil 'tears' falling down his face. "What is it?" he asked. "Can't you see I'm morning the loss of my Teddy Bear?"
"My question is…how could you fall for that?"
"How could I fall for what-?" Nefarious froze, realizing he had just been duped. The explosion was just a recording! "GRRRRRRRRRRRRR, LAAAAAAAAAWREEEEEEE-Bzzzzzzzzzzzzt-"
Nefarious froze as he went, again, into radio drama mode.
" 'Why…why have you been lying to me?' " Lance asked 'Janice.'
" 'Because,' " came the voice of the unattractive male named 'Janice', " 'I have ALWAYS loved you, but knew you weren't gay! But come on, let's make out!' –Zip-"
"'Hey, what are you doing…?'" Lance asked. A few more seconds of unzipping, and, "'AAAAAH! YOU'RE PULLING DOWN YOUR PANTS! YOU SICK, MOTHER FU'-WHACK-bzzzzzzzzzzzzzt-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEENCE!!!"
Lawrence had "saved the day" again, slapping Nefarious just in time. "Oh, now come on…really! Such horrible language should not be allowed on those kinds of shows!"
Nefarious was thinking of strangling the poor butler…but decided not to. No, he would find a sneaky way to get back at him later…
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Ratchet, Clank, and Lilly were walking on yet another stone path. This time, the nobleman from earlier was leading them. He placed a few feet between himself and the group (Probably to escape the wrath of Ratchet) allowing a little privacy as they talked.
"Hey Lilly, who is the King?" Ratchet asked. Lilly looked at him weirdly. "Doesn't he have a name?" Ratchet pursued.
Lilly looked down, but said, "He makes everyone call him 'The Great One,'" she answered. Ratchet looked somewhat puzzled. Clank, however, was absorbing everything. Her body language, her tone of voice, her reaction to the King's summoning of them, she knew something about this man that made her afraid.
"Pardon me, Miss Lilly," Clank asked, "is there something you wish to tell us about this man?"
Lilly looked at the robot. She then looked at the nobleman. It didn't look like he could hear them, but she knew better. "No…" she answered.
Clank looked at the nobleman. He could tell she didn't wish to speak of the king in front of him. He looked back at Ratchet, who had a 'how the heck should I know what's going on' look on his face.
Ratchet was getting bored. "How much longer until we get to this guy's castle?"
The nobleman turned his head and shot Ratchet a dirty look. "You will refer to him as either 'The King' or 'The Great One'!"
Ratchet glared back, and then added, "Why don't we just teleport?"
"Because," the nobleman answered, "the King of this world has requested that the technology of all peasants be kept to a minimal."
Ratchet and Clank both arched an eyebrow. (Or in Clank's case, narrowed an eye)
"'Peasants'?" Clank asked. "Don't you mean 'citizens'?"
"No, I mean 'peasants'," he answered. "Only the King is allowed to have technology current to the galaxy's time! When we get to the palace, you will find plenty of modern devices."
'Talk about 'living in the stone age'!' Ratchet thought.
"Excuse me sir," Clank pursued, "but wouldn't you, obviously a nobleman, have access to some technology?"
"Yes, but I am not allowed to bring it to the villages," the nobleman answered.
Ratchet was growing very impatient. So far, his 'majesty' didn't sound like such a swell guy. He then said, "Well, maybe I could Charge Boot us there; I have my storage watch-"
"Oh, another thing," the nobleman stopped his tiger-horse hybrid so he could face them, "…I'll be needing your storage watch."
"...excuse me?" he asked.
"And," he turned to Lilly, "I'll need yours as well."
"I don't think so, pal!" Ratchet said, his eyes narrowing. "There is no way, and I mean NO WAY I'm trusting you with all of my weapons, gadgets, and personal items!"
"Would that happen to include your HVD; Blarg's gone wi-" Ratchet hastily covered Clank's mouth before he could finish revealing his other "personal" items. Lilly and the nobleman both exchanged strange looks, and then shrugged.
"As I was saying," Ratchet glared once more at Clank, letting him know to shut up, "you're not taking my storage watch."
"Well then, you can't see the king," the Nobleman argued.
"Don't want to," Ratchet countered.
"Then I'll arrest you!" countered the nobleman.
"I'm Captain of the Starship Phoenix, which is under command of the President of the Galaxy…I think I out-rank you."
"Well, then I'll heighten your taxes!"
"Don't live here."
"I'll…attack your family!"
"Don't have any."
"I'll…I'll…beat you up!"
Ratchet slapped his head. "I have some of the most powerful weapons of Mass Destruction in ANY galaxy, all which could vaporize you in one shot. WHAT in the name of Blarg makes you think you have any chance WHATSOEVER of beating me?" Ratchet smiled, knowing he had beaten the nobleman in their "fight".
The nobleman glared. He couldn't think of anything that could possibly make Ratchet give him his storage watch.
"Fine," the nobleman said in defeat, "but pull one firearm out and I'll arrest you in a heartbeat!" Ratchet rolled his eyes. "But as for the girl…" he held out his arm towards her.
She sighed, and removed the small cube from her belt. Ratchet starred in shock as she handed over her entire arsenal to the horseman.
"Lilly…why are you giving him your weapons!?" Ratchet cried.
"It's…personal," she said. The nobleman smirked, and swiped the cube in a heartbeat.
He pushed a button, which made a small little screen pop out. He gazed at the pictures of all her weaponry, a small grin on his face. "The king will be happy to add this to his collection," he said with a sinister grin.
"Sir that is stealing!" Clank cried, shocked.
"Let it go Clank," Lilly said, kneeling so she could be on Clank's eye level. "He's not being serious." She then turned and glared at the nobleman. "At least…he better not be!"
He shrugged. "Maybe…maybe not; depends on my mood."
Ratchet was giving him the nastiest glare possible. (If looks could kill…) "If you're done, I'd like to go to the palace now and get this over with!"
"We're here," he said. Ratchet, Clank, and Lilly starred around with blank looks on their faces. "I may have said I can't carry around technology, but the King has allowed hidden teleportation pads hidden along this path." He then jumped down from his animal and walked towards a tree on the side of the path. He then came to the tree, pushed a hidden button on it, and stood back as the tree disappeared; and a teleportation pad appeared by his feet.
The animal went in first, after a quick coaxing from its rider. "Ladies first," he said with a sly grin as Lilly went in afterwards. Then Ratchet, Clank, and finally the nobleman himself; they all disappeared in a flash of green light. A few moments later, the teleportation pad disappeared and it went back to looking like a regular old tree.
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"Whoa…" Ratchet said in awe. He had just teleported, and now stood in the grand hall of the palace. It was big…very, very; big…truly, the word "big" was an insult to this place! It was painted white, with a golden ceiling. Highly valuable works of art; including statues, paintings, and busts of famous galactic pioneers (including Lobo the test squirrel from Megacorp) lined the walls of the room. A dark red carpet, cut to resemble a path, laid on the floor with a gold trim. The tile on the floor was marble which, literally, had enough wax that one could see their reflection! Several dark red drapes hung from the ceiling, imprinted with either crowns or "T-G-O" on them. The carpet led up to a series of steps, which at the top was a platform. On said platform, was non-other then the throne of the King of Nifan3.
"Where's his 'majesty'," Lilly asked as Ratchet continued to marvel the beauty of the palace.
The nobleman glared at her for the sarcasm in her voice. He was about to speak, when suddenly:
"You need not answer that," a voice said. The nobleman immediately whipped his head around and kneeled. Lilly, although obviously reluctant, kneeled. Clank too caught on, and bowed down. Ratchet, on the other hand, stood there like an idiot.
"Um…what's with all the kneeling?" The nobleman reached up an arm and dragged down the absent-minded Lombax onto his knees.
"Bow you moron!" he hissed. Ratchet shot a glare, but lowered his head. He quickly stood up and got a good look at this "king".
He was tall, 6ft. 5", and slightly muscular. His armor was skintight, had shoulder pads, and had a cape tied to it with two golden medallions. He wore black latex underneath and wore white gloves and boots. His chest armor was black, except with a red crown on his right chest, and the shoulders were red. (If you've ever seen Dragon Ball Z, his armor looks like the Sayain armor Vegeta first wore; except for the color changes and cape.)
His eyes were a dark yellow, and his hair was, of course, white; with silver highlights. His hair was distinctively spiky, and he had a huge scar run from under his eye. His tail flicked casually, and his ears stood perked and alert.
"You're majesty," the nobleman said, bowing his head, "I have brought the outsiders, as you commanded."
"Rise Sir Shirley," the King said. He stopped when he heard laughing. He looked at Ratchet, who was on the floor crying!
"S-SHILEY! AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!" Ratchet howled. I swear the poor nobleman glowed like a red light bulb. "So, all this time the 'big, scary, tough guy guard' is named 'Shirley'? That is too funny-"
Ratchet stopped when a laser sword had appeared under his throat. "You'd be very wise…to not make fun of my name…" Shirley hissed. He then dropped the weapon and turned off the purple beam.
"Ahem!" Everyone stopped and looked at the King. "Now, bring me their weapons, Shirley!" The King barked. Shirley approached the King and dropped Lilly's 'weapon cube' in his gloved hand. He looked down, annoyed.
"I-is there a problem, your majesty?" Shirley asked.
"Yes, there is…I see two Lombaxes, and you bring me one weapon container," his 'majesty' said.
"The outsider r-refused to surrender his weapons," Shirley replied. The King walked past Shirley and towards Ratchet. He got so close to his face that Ratchet could smell his breath.
"I recognize you…" he said with a smirk. "You're Ratchet, Solana's 'hero'." He stood back for a moment, grinning. Ratchet was a little confused.
He then turned towards Lilly, and grinned even more. "Oh, I definitely recognize you!" the King hissed. Lilly backed away a little bit, her instinct telling her to do so. He walked away for a moment, and then turned around. "Do you know why I summoned you?" he asked the trio.
"Uh…honestly, no," Ratchet replied.
"Well, you see, it is illegal for peasants to carry around technology more advanced than a microwave-oven. Your display of firepower against Nefarious' troops more than alerted my surveillance scanners to your use of them."
"But sir," Clank pursued, "if it had not been for Ratchet and Lilly, all of the civilians would have been wiped out!"
"But had you not come, Nefarious would have never sent those troops!" the King countered.
"But we came here to get rid of Nefarious!" Ratchet cried.
"He is not a problem, as long as he leaves me alone!" the King said carefree.
"But they're your people!" Lilly cried, infuriated. She had enough of hiding her true emotions. "You simply don't CARE do you!? All of us, including me, are nothing but play things to you!"
The King starred, furious at her outburst.
She continued, on her knees and tears running down her face. "What kind of King are you? You should protect us and help us prosper; not cut us down and treat us like we're nothing!"
"Silence…" the King said in quiet anger.
"All of the women and children you've tortured," Lilly cried.
"Silence…!" the King said a little more loudly.
"All of the rape and murder you've let pass by, and what you've done to my family-"
"SIIIIIIIILEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENCE!!!" he cried, furious! "I SHOULD HAVE YOU LOCKED IN THE DUNGEON, PEASENT! BUT, UNFORTUNATELY, IT IS YOUR JOB TO FULFILL THE PROPHECY AND SLAY OUR ENEMIES!" He walked quickly towards her and put a laser sword under her chin. Lilly starred, shocked.
"Now then," he said, anger in his voice, "be a good little girl and SHUT UP-poke-"
The King looked to his left, and jumped back when he saw the barrel of Ratchet's Rynocerator.
"Leave…her…alone…" Ratchet cried angrily. The King stood there, his eyes squinted.
"Did you just order me to do something?" he asked.
"As a matter of fact, I did!" He said. He pulled out a badge from his pocket. "You see this? This badge signifies that I am Captain of the Starship Phoenix, and liable to place under arrest anybody who harms others. So, unless you want to change into your orange jump-suit now, BACK…OFF!"
The King glared, but withdrew his laser sword. He then turned and walked towards his throne.
"You're dismissed," he said darkly. He threw the storage cube at Lilly's knees. She slowly picked it up and placed it on her belt. He need not say more; Ratchet, Clank, and a still teary-eyed Lilly walked towards the teleportation pad, and phased out of the room.
When he was sure they were gone, he turned towards Shirley. "Shirley, I want you to go to the armory and gather weapons."
The nobleman blinked. "Do you wish of me to follow them?" he asked.
"Yes…that is exactly what I want you to do!" he said in a dark…dark voice.
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A/N: Well, there you have it, chapter 5! I'm sorry if it's a little choppy; I had writer's block the whole time writing it. Enjoy, and remember to Read and Review!
P.S. It'll be a little longer before I continue the story. I have found a way to keep myself from becoming too bored with a story. I've got an idea for a funny humor fic waiting in the wings. What I'll do is write two chapters for that, write two more for this story, and repeat. The switch should help a lot, and keep me from going to snooze-vile.
