Chapter 13.

Black Hole Sun

Renesmee's POV

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"Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high, and the dreams that you dream of..

once in a lullaby."

I heard these words ring through my head, trying to comfort me. I didn't know where, or what I was. Alive, or dead. I wished those lyrics came true. I wished I was taken to a place, a peaceful place that wasn't heaven where I could just relax with my family. I didn't know if I was alive, though. All I know was that what kept me alive, was love.

"Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring," Oscar Wilde said.

I understood it. Without love, I wouldn't be here right now. It was the only thing left alive in me, if I still was. That was what I was not so sure about, yet. What am I? All these thoughts flew around in my head, confusing me, scaring me. I prayed I was alive, to see Jacob's lively face, and to feel his warm arms around me once again. What if Jacob had died, too? If I was dead, my family and William are most likely to be alive, since they don't need air. I hoped that I was alive, breathing again. I need to see William. I need to see Rosalie. I need to see Esme's warm smile. I need to hear Carlisle's proud, velvety voice. I need father. I need to see all the people I loved once more. I don't want it to be over yet.

Please.

I took a deep breath in.

I felt salt-water burning through my body. I felt my venom fighting back the gallons of salt-water I consumed. I felt my body drowning with it. I felt the water filling up my lungs, and choking me. I felt the venom fight back. It was a painful process.

"Renesmee!" I heard William's voice gurgle.

Then, I finally grasped the situation. I realized I just made a big mistake. I let go of William's hand. I opened my eyes. The salt-water burned. Everything was blurry, and then clear. It was a mix. At one point, I saw clearly underneath the water, but then things got blurry, and the pattern continued. I watched hopelessly when the water pushed William, Esme, and Jasper away. I reached out my hand, trying to catch William's, but the water gave a surge and pulled William away. I felt Father let go of my hand. I panicked. I held onto my lung area. The pain got worse. I started moaning in the water of pain. Father came back, holding William's hand, dragging along Jasper and Rosalie. He then grabbed my hand, and we rose to the surface. I felt the cool, sea-air brushing against my face. It felt good, but shortly, my throat and lungs suddenly caused me to disgorge. I started coughing up gallons of salt-water. It was painful. The worst pain you could ever feel. Finally, I was done. I took breathing in and out furiously.

"We need to get to the nearest shore." Carlisle said. Suprisingly, every one of my family members still looked magnificent after being thrown into the ocean. Even though they were soaked, they still looked glamorous.

"Take my hand." William said.

I nodded and took his hand without saying a word. I was too exhausted to.

"Don't let go this time." he said, turning to me. Giving me a small smile.

I forced a smile back.

We were all holding hands once more, and eventually, Carlisle lead us to some mystery island in the middle of who-knows where.
I walked shakily up the sand, and collapsed. I was tired. William immediately ran to my side. He sat down, and lifted my head onto his lap.

"Are you okay?" he said.

"No." I said, looking away with teary eyes. I held onto his hand and thought about what happened earlier. All those people. The baby and it's mom. Families gone. All because of him.

"Relax." He said. I noticed he had a startled look on his face. I realized I was grasping his hand tighter, just from thinking about Kaleb. It hurt to say his name.

"Please. Just relax." he said.

I lifted my head off his lap, and sat up.

"I can't relax, William. All these innocent people are dead because of him. He's CRUEL, and SELFISH. He killed my best friend, he has my Mom, Alice, and.." I couldn't say his name, and I couldn't finish the sentence. My voice cracked in the end. I looked away, trying to hide my tears. I wiped a tear away with my hand.

"It's my fault. I should've never involved you in any of this in the first place." he said. He looked down in guilt.

I stood up.
"Ohh, so I see how it's going to be. You're just going to act all guilty, so I can feel SORRY. Well, guess what, William? It is your fault. EVERYTHING'S your fault." My voice started breaking and tears welled up in my eyes.

"It's all your fault." I said shakily.

He stood up and put his arms around me. I cried, and cried, and cried.

"I'm sorry." he said slowly.

I sighed.

"No, I am. I didn't mean a word I just said. It's just, I was.."

"Angry? Frustrated? Sad?" he said.

I opened my mouth to say something, but he was right, and he left me speechless.

"I'm sorry, okay? None of this would've ever happened if it weren't for me."

"William, please." I said, walking towards him.

He backed away.

"No, Renesmee. You were right. I need to fix this. I'm sorry." he said.

He walked up to me, and gave me a kiss on the cheek. He moved a strand of hair from my face. We stood there, looking in each other's eyes.

"I love you." he said.

Then, he turned away.

"William, please. No. No!" I screamed at him. I reached out to grab him before he could run, but it was too late. I ended up grabbing the ground. I broke into tears.

What have I done?

I lead him straight to his death.

I felt Esme put her arm around me.

"Where did he go?" Emmett said angrily.

"He's gone." Father said.

"Someone has to go after him. He can't bring down Kaleb on his own. Edward, go." Carlisle said.

It's all my fault. He's gone.