My alarm clock goes off at 5:45 every single day. Normally I lay there hoping to cling to my dreams of dark underworlds and flying through the night with bat wings. But today, I simply get out of bed, not even remembering any dreams from the previous night.

It's been two days ago (Saturday) that Trevor cancelled our date. He hasn't called since. I couldn't help but think that maybe this whole thing was a scheme to make a joke out of me. But no, I knew that wasn't right. Not my Trevor. No joke is worth it enough to date someone for eight months.

I walk to my moms closet and pull out her sweatpants and I pull on my plain black t-shirt, throw my hair up in a pony tail and walk down the stairs.

When I get down their my mom gives me a strange look but doesn't say anything. I don't even remember the last time I've left my room naked faced. Or without some Vampire Princess outfit on. I sit there and nibble on some toast till I hear a beep and mumble a goodbye to my mom before shuffling out the door.

I climb into Trevor's huge SUV and shut the door. He gives me a brief kiss on the cheek and starts pulling out of my drive way. Either he is a really good actor and ignores my unusual appearance or truly is too distracted to notice. I go with the latter. We don't say anything the whole ride to school.

When we get there Trevor comes around my side and helps me out as usual. Unlike Trevor everyone is openly starring at me. I think I'm getting more attention not as Monster Girl as I do when I am. Trevor walks me to my locker and say his goodbyes then walks off to his homeroom.

Note, there was no "I love you" included in his goodbyes.

I walk through the day in a haze. Not really thinking but sort of sitting in an in-between state of consciousness and unconsciousness. Becky, my best friend of all time, asks me what's wrong, extremely concerned by my non-scary appearance, but I just tell her I think I'm getting sick and that I'm just tired. Input fake smile here.

At lunch Trevor is no where in sight so I sit with Matt and Becky but they are too busy with each other to notice me. But I'm good with that, I don't want to talk to anyone today. When school ends Trevor is waiting for me by my locker.

"Hey." He says and plants a kiss on my cheek. I don't say anything.

"So, I was thinking that maybe we could go out tonight. To a dinner and a movie, ya know? ' Cause we haven't hung out in a while" I do not point out that it is his fault we haven't hung out in a while. Nor do I question him about his absence at lunch. I just nod and take his hand as we walk to his car.

I don't get ready for the date. I simply take my hair out of the pony tail holder and brush it and walk out the door.

"You look nice." He comments, not glancing at me. I can't help but notice how not nice he looks. He has big bags under his eyes and his hair is all disheveled. He's still attractive, but not in a put together Trevor sort of way.

I still can't decide if I'm mad at Trevor or just plain sad. I know I'm sad, but I think I might be mad too.

We go to the same little restaurant everyone goes to all the time. We sit in the same booth we have a million times before. Except this time it's different. This time Trevor's different. And I don't like it. His dazed look while he stares out the window. Looking like he'd rather be anywhere but here.

He comments on how quite I'm being. I comment on how absent he's been. That ends the conversation. I've decided now. I'm not just sad, I am most definitely also mad.