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Here's the update… tell me how am I doing… love your comments…Mwuahh!

*I'm Sorry*

Chapter 4

            Brennan was frozen for a moment. He didn't know what to say or act as Shalimar opened the bathroom door. She gazed at him and frowned. "What?" she asked. "You seemed to be so surprised to see me" She added

            Brennan looked away for a while as to regain his posture. "Just wondering why you were still awake." He almost forgot the feral now stays with him.

            "I needed to pee." She said naturally as she scratched her tummy. "I thought you were going to the dojo?" she asked him.

            "Jesse's rehearsing." Was his terse reply as Shalimar went back to bed. Brennan closed the bathroom door behind him and took a deep breath. ~whew, that was close ~ he thought. He looked up at the ceiling and sighed. He knew Emma doesn't deserve a stupid man like him but does it mean that Shalimar does?

            Guilt wash over him. He wanted to tell Shalimar that his heart never belonged to her. He wanted to tell him that he cannot love her; that his life belongs to Emma but he don't know how to say it without breaking her heart. He knows the feral. He knew that Shalimar would fight for her territory—and that includes him. He is a part of her domain now. He knew she would kill for him.

            He loves Shalimar…as his teammate. That is all. That is all he could give. His heart is not in his command anymore. His heart still lingers to Emma's touch. Tears trickled from his brows as he remembered their moments together.

***He never wanted to hurt Emma but Shalimar has her way of claiming her man. She made him drink some wine and dozed him. When he woke up, the 'did' was over and there was nothing he could do. He wanted to yell at Shalimar; wanted to kill her right then, but he didn't want to hurt her as a friend. The next thing he knew is that Shalimar has already told everyone that they were dating. He didn't had the time to explain to Emma. He knows that whatever he says, it won't make a difference—it would still hurt her, it would still hurt his Emma.

            The guilt went on every time Shalimar would want him to touch her. It would be very impossible for any man to say 'no' to Shalimar's naked body. She was just sexy as ever. But there would always be a time when in between the act…he would just stop, because he could see Emma lying there instead of Shalimar, crying for him to come back to her. And then he would lose his appetite for sex and he would just stop.

            He messed up really bad. This things should not have happened if he had told Shalimar his true feelings before. But he was a coward and no one is to blame but him.

            Brennan sighed as he pulled his shirt off and turned on the shower to have a cold bath.

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ok… that's it for this time… my muse went on vacation… hehehe! Please review though… love you all for that…---Lyza