Disclaimer: all the characters in this story belong to Tribune Entertainment. Mutant X is not mine. This story is written for entertainment purposes. Please don't sue me.
This is story happened like years and years in the future. LOL. I got this idea when my best friend broke up with his girlfriend. Special thanks to Ladiraid, who endured with me until the very last chapter of my first fic, thanks very much; to Zoxx and freckles0707 for helping me find this site and giving me inspiration. I'm really sorry for posting dramatic stories.what could I say? I'm a sucker for complications. Again, I would like to ask for your consideration with my grammar. English is not my mother tongue.
Sorry for the delay. I was really busy doing lesson plans for my students... sometimes work sucks... hehehe. i hope your wait will be worth while... thanks for waiting guys. Anyway, here we go. enjoy.
I'm Sorry
Chapter 12
"Shal, could we talk?" Brennan asked again as she looked into Shalimar's eyes.
Shalimar was taken off guard and for some reason she was really afraid. She's afraid that this will be their last talk; that Brennan will finally tell her that he does not love her... Shalimar faced him with prudeness. She gave him a weak smile.
"Oh! You have time now!" She said sarcastically. "Finally, you have time." she managed to sound expectant.
"Please Shal." Brennan begged.
Shalimar sighed and signaled him to continue. She faced him with squared arms.
Brennan don't know how to start... It's so easy in his mind. He can just tell her that he didn't really love her and that going through all this is not a good idea. His mind is screaming at him. 'You love Emma. Brennan! Damn it! Why don't you tell her and get it over?' But he knows that that too isn't a good idea.
"Shal," Brennan started. "I know I've been neglecting you lately. I didn't mean to shut you off. I'm sorry. I really am." he paused for awhile, trying to grasp on things, trying to grasp on reasons.
Shalimar shook her head. "No Brennan. You were not shutting me off. You were simply distant. I don't know why. I guess I'm just starting to lose you. WE are starting to lose you." she said as she pat her tummy.
Brennan was silent. He does not know how to respond on this. His head is spinning and he just don't know how to react. "You don't understand. I'm at a lost here. I'm trying to say something and it's not easy."
"I don't understand?" Shalimar started to raise her voice. "You! You don't understand! I'm going to have a baby. WE are going to have a baby and yet it seems that you don't give a shit!" Shalimar was burning in anger. She wanted to beat the hell out of Brennan.
Brennan recoiled at her harsh reponse. It was not true... of course he cares. but he cares for her only as a friend. How can he tell her this? How could he make her understand? "Please understand! It's been hard for me to accept that one morning I woke up and I'm already going to be a father!"
Shalimar gritted her teeth. She was fuming with rage and now this remark caught her attention. Does he know already? "And what are you suggesting? That I'm making this whole thing up? That I'm not really pregnant? Is that what you're saying? Look at me! Look at this!" she was hollering at Brennan while pointing at her blotted tummy.
Brennan was taken aback. He was being unfair to her. It was not Shalimar's fault that she is pregnant. It was his...was it? He tore his stare away from her, looking as guilty as he is. "I'm sorry..." was all he could say. "It was not what I meant." he looked at her and pulled her close. "I care for you. I do..." he could feel Shalimar's warm breath on his chest. "It's just that..."
He stopped. He needed to. He sighed. "I'm trying my best to..."
Shalimar pushed him off. "Trying to what? Push me away?" There it is again, the rage; them pain; the anger.
"NO!" he abruptly shook his head. He cupped his mouth with his right hand as if trying to control his mounting emotions. He walked towards her, wanting to fill in the gap between them. "I'm not pushing you away. It's not like that."
"Then what is it? Tell because I could not understand. I can't comprehend these things that you've been doing." Shalimar finally spat out all the questions she wanted to ask him for a long time now.
Brennan was left in his thoughts. Suddenly he could not remember the reason he came there. He stared at her and took pity of the feral's teary eyes. Right then and there, he wanted to tell her everything. He wanted to end her miseries once and for all. He wanted to tell her the truth. He wanted to tell her that he didn't mean all of this thing to happen. He was left without words. Somehow, he just couldn't say it.
Shalimar looked away and then all her rage vanished in thin air. All that was left were pain and love, mixed in one life form . "Don't keep me hanging, I beg of you." She paused for breath. "At least be honest. I feel like losing you here."
"You didn't lose me." Brennan replied quickly. "I was never yours." Headed in his thought but he was too scared to really say it, instead, he came closer to her and hugged her tightly...again. "I'm still here." He softly said and then kissed her head. "See!?! I'm still here." He searched her eyes the smiled. All her agenda were placed aside. He knew that this isn't the time yet. He still care for her even if it was only a friendly one.
Brennan let Shalimar sob on his shoulder. Somehow he knew that he needed that. He rocked her small body in a slow dance motion and then moved as a dancing lover in a silent night.
oOo
Emma and Jesse walked in the Sanctuary. They were both out of the Sanctuary for about whole day. Jesse helped Emma with her things as they continued chatting. Emma laughed at Jesse's joke as they walked in the dojo when then caught a glimpse of Brennan and Shalimar in a sweet embrace. Emma had to stop. Lumps were formed in her throat that she somehow found hard to swallow. She had to look away to at least try to lessen the pain that she was feeling at the moment. What a coincidence. What a terrible coincidence.
Jesse didn't know what to say or do. The sight was too odd for them. He wanted to walk away but for some reason, his feet were fastened on the floor and he could not move. Brennan and Shalimar soon felt their presence and then they found each other standing in a very odd situation. Where did this silence come from? What was wrong with the scene?
Brennan threw a glance at Emma and Emma tried her best to divert her gaze but failed misserably. on the other hand, Jesse stood there observing Sshalimar and Emma's reactions. For the first time, Shalimar begun to see something else. Why was Brennan looking at Emma like that? Why is Emma avoiding his gaze.
Emma felt these mounting questions in Shalimar's mind and she has to do something. She just can't let Shalimar know. She just could not hurt her best friend. She gathered her strength then posed a big smile. "Sorry to disturb you love birds." she said with a giggle, which was obviously forced. "Well good night." Emma finally said then left the dojo.
oOo
Jesse didn't know what to do exactly but he followed Emma. He knew that the scene did affect Emma and she could not deny it.
"Emma!" he called after her before she finally reached her room. Jesse knew that Emma was hurting. He slowed down when Emma began slowing down.
Emma leaned on the wall as her knees weakened. Why is she still hurting this way? What is it with Brennan that she cannot stop loving him? Why him? She knew this questions were pointless but she wanted to ask it in her mind.
oOo
"Ems"
Emma heard Jesse's soft voice. She wanted to look at him but she didn't want Jesse to see her in so much pain. She heard footsteps and then she knew that Jesse was just right behind her, ready to join her in her grief. Shalimar is very lucky, emma thought. Shalimar has Jesse's love and so does Brennan's.
Jesse tugged her gingerly from behind and then he wrapped his arms around her. "Cry it all out." He whispered. "Cry it all out, darling. I know it hurts but everything will turn out fine."
Emma's sobbing could be heard. Her body is shaking and she just wanted everything to end right then and there. She knew she had to let go of Brennan but somehow, a force has kept her from doing this. NO matter how her mind tells her to move on, her heart still seems holding to this only thing that is dear to her--Brennan.
"Cry it all out!"
She heard Jesse's voice again.
Jesse started rocking her body. "I know you can do it. You are stronger than you think you are." He told her.
Emma appreciated Jesse's concern. This was not what she really wanted. This is not what she pictured in mind but this is all she has right now.
Emma tried her best to pacify herself but she just continued crying. She couldn't help it. She has tried her best to move on but her heart still holds on to the love that once was there.
Jesse, feeling that he was needed, finally asked her "Do you want to talk it over?"
Emma just nodded. Jesse looked around and decided that the hallway was not a good place to talk. He searched Emma's eyes with a sympathetic smile and blueish-gray eyes "Do you want to talk somewhere private?"
Emma nodded again and then she led him inside the safety and privacy of her own room.
oOo
Shalimar followed Brennan to their room. There was definitely something she didn't know. She didn't want to believe it but it seems that she just found out who owns Brennan's heart.
No! Her heart screamed at her. It could not be. Brennan never flirted with her. Brennan likes blonde. But the women he has gone out with are not blondes.
"Brennan..." Shalimar called out causing Brennan to look her in the eye.
Brennan softly responded. "Yes?"
Shalimar was not sure whether it is right to ask him or not. There was a moment of silence as Shalimar argued with her wits. NO, this is not the right time. "I love you." She told him instead hoping for a favorable answer.
Brennan hugged her, kissed her on the cheeks and answered "I know."
I know? Shalimar wondered. It was a very safe answer. Brennan didn't say that he loves her nor did he say that he does not love her. His reply was so vague.
Shalimar's fear were coming to life. She shook her head. Could it be true? Is Emma capable of stealing away the love of her life? WAIT? Is Emma stealing from me or AM I THE ONE STEALING FROM HER? She shook her head once more. Then willed Brennan to look at her. "Thanks for being here."
Brennan nodded and led her on their bed. Shalimar lie down. She didn't want to think about it anymore... Not right now. She needed to rest. She needed to relax.
oOo
Brennan sighed as he lie down beside Shalimar. He could still see the pain in Emma's eyes and its killing him. He knew that there was still something between them. He's not blind. He knew there is still something; there must be something. He shut his eyes close and foced himself to sleep. At least he could be with Emma in his dream.
oOo
"I can't understand!" Emma said in between her sobs. "How do you do it?" she searched Jesse's blues.
Jesse cringed his forehead. "How do I do what?"
"This! The pretense. How could you act as if you're not affected?"
Jesse smiled at her emeralds. "You got me there." he giggled then sighed as he gathered Emma's small frame on his. "Put it this way, I figured this is better. Sure it hurts but I don't have the right to demand. I don't want to be selfish. Shalimar is happy with Brennan and that is what matters."
Emma took a deep breath and tried to stop weeping. "You make it sound so simple."
"But it is simple." Jesse looked away and stared at the ceiling. "Feeling sorry for myself does not make things better. A matter of fact, it makes things complicated."
Emma nodded. She knew Jesse has a point. "But I can't stop loving him." Emma said as she threw her gaze to a photo of her and Brennan which she kept inside her room.
Jesse shot a look at her. "Who said that you have to stop loving him? I didn't stop loving Shalimar. Quite the contrary, I'm loving her more."
Emma frowned as he looked back at him. "I beg your pardon?"
Jesse beamed at her. "Letting go of someone go is just a clear indication that you love her or in your case, him."
Emma had to shake her head. "In english please." she taunted as a clear hint that she was at a lost.
"If you let him go, it does not mean you're giving up. It only means you love him too much that you want him to be happy even if it means your happiness. It's the best love the world could offer. Selfless love. Unconditional."
Emma pulled a ddep breath. Jesse's right. She was making things difficult for her. It was very easy to let go but somehow, something's telling her to hang on. She wondered if Jesse's opinion would still be the same if he finds out that she and Brennan used to be together.
Jesse faced Emma. He was serious this time. Emma's heart pounded. What is it? Could he have sensed her thought? But it's impossible. Jesse does not posses that gift.
"Ems," Jesse started. "Things will only be complicated if..." He tries to decide whether he should ask her or not. "Is... Was...Are you hiding something from your best bud here?"
Emma forced a smile. "Hide something? Like what?"
"Like the reason...true reason why Brennan sneaked into your room years ago. Did you and Brennan had..."
"I wish we had..." She interrupted him. "I wish we had a relationship but we didn't." She lied again. It hurts her, lying to Jesse but she thought that this is for the benefit of everyone. "I was nothing but Brennan's friend." Emma sadly said. There was something about her voice that made Jesse believe so Jesse let go of the topic.
For a moment, there was stillness. Both were thinking and waiting. Both were trying to find a moment. Finally, Jesse broke the silence.
"Why not use your gift?" Jesse said referring to her power to affect emotions. Emma eyed him. It seems odd that Jesse would suggest something like that. "Why not use it? IT's very easy to make Brennan feel for you. It's easy to make him love you."
Emma shook her head in disbelief. "Are you kidding me? That's like pointing a gun at him. Once I let go of the gun then he would still be Shalimar's."
"Precisely!" a small smile decorated Jesses' lips. "It does not help that you are psionic. Once you love it's always your heart and your soul...and no power could change that."
Emma nodded. She got Jesse's point. "Thanks, buddy." She told him then gave him a peck on his cheeks.
"What for?"
"For being a good friend."
oOo
Emma opened her eyes and found herself in Jesse's strong embrace. NO doubt she fell asleep last night. Jesse was too kind to accompany her the whole night. She looked at her watch. It's 5 AM. She smiled. She wanted to forget the reason she had been crying last night. She wanted to finally move on with her life...to really move on...
Jesse was awaken by Emma's movement. He looked at her and smiled. "Good morning, sweetie!" He greeted her.
"Morning!" she replied. "I'm so sorry to wake you up."
"It's allright. I should be awake right now." Jesse yawned and stretched. "Did you have a good sleep?"
Emma nodded. "Did you?" she threw back the question.
Jesse nodded in return. "Well, we have to prepare for the day. We have a lot of training to do." Jesse stood up and tried fixing himself. "Don't want to miss a lot of details on this project, do we?" he grinned.
"yeah!" Emma grinned back at him as she stood up andstarted stretching too. "See you at the dining room."
"Okay," with that Jesse left Emma staring at her bed. She sighed. It has been a while since she last changed her sheets. She bent down and pulled it off finally deciding to change it. She looked around and mentally pictured what color of cotton would match her room. She pulled a new one out and did the beddings.
After running a quick bath, Emma went straight to the kitchen land started mising things for breakfast. "Pancakes!" she thought and then started pouring the batter in to the pan.
"Smells good."
She heard Jesse's voice form behind. "You move quickly." she told him and smiled.
Jesse walked over and offered her help. "Is there anyway I could be of help to you.?"
Emma beamed and gave him the bowl of batter. "You take care of that." she ordered him. I'll do the cheese.
Jesse took the bowl and followed Emma's direction. He glanced at Emma as he poured the batter in the pan after taking out the hot cake. "You look different!" He told her.
Emma eyed him. "What is that supposed to mean."
Jesse giggled. "I mean that in a good way, you know!"
"Oh!" Emma laughed.
"So, what happened last night?" Jesse insisted of knowing.
Emma smiled. "Let's just say I've opened my eyes to the reality."
Jesse nodded. "Good start." He said. He then placed the batter on the counter and gave Emma a smack.
Emma looked at him after the kiss and smiled then she felt a familiar presence nearby. She looked up and gasp..."Brennan"
oOo
Brennan woke up earlier than usual. He glanced at his watch. It was almost 6 am. He thought for a while and finally decided to make Shalimar a special breakfast. He jumped off ben and put on a pajama and a loose shirt. He glanced at the mirror before finally walking out of his room. He could still picture Emma in his mind at he strode throught the hallway. How he wanted to be with her. He was sure Emma is still feeling for him. He is sure that she still loves him.
Brennan imagined her in his arms agina. Oh how he would love that. His daydreaming was interrupted when he heard noises in the kitchen. 'Emma' He thought. He was sure that she is in there. Finally a chance to talk to her alone. He was so excited. He carried his feet to the kitchen quickly only to be greeted by an unexpected sight.
"What the..." Brennan was about to curse but he managed to at least try to control himself.
Feeling Brennan's presence, Emma looked around and was a bit surprised. "Brennan!" she uttered.
Jesse followed Emma's gaze and found Brennan. "Bren!" He greeted him and then he went back to cooking. "Where's Shal?" Jesse asked as his back was turned to him.
"She's still on OUR bed." Brennan stressed the word 'our' as if teasing Emma.
But Emma didn't allow that to ruin her day. "Good for her." She said with a smile then went back to slicing the cheese.
Brennan tried acting cool and took out a tray. "So, why are you two up this early?" He inquired.
Emma laughed. "It was my fault." she confessed with giggles. "He was still sleeping and I woke him up." her answer puzzled Brennan.
"You didn't woke me up." Jesse barged in Brennan's thought, correcting Emma. "I was already awake."
Emma glanced at h im. "If I didn 't s tart moving, you would still be sleeping in."
Jesse laughed. "You know that's not true..." he said glancing at her while doing the pancakes. Soon both were laughing.
Brennan was at a loss. So what if Emma started moving? He couldn't see the connection of waking Jesse up.Jesse's room is a room apart from Emma's. How could Emma have waken him up...unless...
"I should be more quiet." She giggled. "Or still, perhaps."
"Yeah!" Jesse nodded. "Your bed is too soft. The slightest move and the bed will start shaking." Jesse said with a grin.
Brennan's brain started playing tricks on him. What does Jesse mean about 'the slightest move'? What does he mean about 'shaking'? Brennan could imagine Emma in Jesse's arms. He could imagine Jesse doing Emma and it fueled him. He was angry, to whom? He was not really sure.
"Are you making Shal breakfast?" Emma asked Brennan, changing the topic.
Brennan didn't answer.
Emma started feeling battalion of emotions rushing to her fragile unguarded turve and it's drowning her. She lifted her gaze andwas bothered. These were all Brennan's emotions... pain, anger, angst, jealousy... negative feelings which assailed her. "Brennan!" she gasp as her knees gave her away.
Jesse turned quickly and caught Emma, not minding the batter he dropped on the floor. "Ems!" he said.
"Get your filthy hands off her!" Brennan suddenly hollered.
Jesse recoiled at his harshness and he could notdo anything when Brennan snatched Emma's limp body from him.
Without another word, Brennan rushed Emma to the lab where Adam wass working. He knew that it is only Adam who could tell them what was wrong. He hoped that it was nothing serious. If anything happen to Emma, God, he don't know if he could continue living.
Jesse was left in the kitchen staring at the empty space which Brennan left. What just happened there? Why Emma fainted? Why was Brennan so angry?
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so there you have it...the long a waited chapter... What do you think? hehehe
I would like to thank you all for keeping up with me... specially PHELPS and BENJ...
Please R&R thanks.... ciao...