In the End

Pairing: Chuck/Sarah

Rating: K+

Summary: AU. Sequel to "Never Let You Go". After eighteen months apart Chuck and Sarah are finally reunited. But when Sarah shares her darkest secrets, can the two of them overcome the questions and the fear and finally be together? Big thanks to brickroad16 for all the help!

It's funny how quickly everything can change.

He never imagined he'd be here. Today had changed everything for him – everything he thought, everything he believed.

"I love you Chuck. I don't know when it happened. All I know is that one day I woke up and the first thing that came to my mind was your smile. And from that moment on I knew that you were the only one who could ever make me feel the way I do."

Twenty-four hours ago his world had been black and white. Right was right and wrong was wrong. The life he lived was his. He was content – happy even.

But now – sitting here in the passenger seat of Sarah's black Porsche with her hand in his as they made their way to his apartment – it was as if he could see colors for the first time. He never imagined he'd get to this point. He was in love. He was in love with Sarah. And she loved him just as deeply. It was mind-boggling really.

"Chuck there's something you have to know. Something I should have told you about myself a long time ago. I'm not who you think I am. And I wish so much that I was just a regular girl but I'm not. Ever since I was a kid everything I knew was a lie. When I met you – it changed me. I don't want to live a lie anymore Chuck."

"Every day I woke up in a world where you were my best friend. And I was okay with that Sarah. I really was. But somewhere deep inside I always knew you meant more to me. I guess I just never wanted to admit that. Not to myself and definitely not to you."

Taking her hands in his, Chuck traced his thumb across her jaw before guiding her to look at him, "I always knew there was something special about you Sarah Walker."

He could only watch. Watch as her eyes fluttered away before once again connecting with his. Watch as her hand tentatively releases his to reach up and caress his cheek. Watch as her other hand laced their fingers together.

A breathless sigh escaped her lips, "Just promise me you'll remember how right this feels after I tell you everything. Because it's going to change everything Chuck. And as much as I want you in my life – I can't spend another day lying to you. I won't. I just hope it doesn't cost me the most important thing in my life."

The fear in her eyes scared him. So he did the only thing he could think of to reassure her – and himself.

Leaning down, he took her lips gently with his, making the world disappear around them. And for a few moments everything was right.

It was just them. Chuck and Sarah. Together.

It was after midnight and Chuck still couldn't sleep. The past twenty-four hours had changed everything. Not only had his perception of the world changed – but that of Sarah had changed too. No matter how hard he tried to ignore the gruesome tasks she had completed for duty and country he couldn't wipe the details from his mind.

Tomorrow the two of them would go to Ellie's party and act like nothing had changed – except for Sarah's return. At least that was the plan.

The dichotomy of their relationship had changed so much. It was as if everything had shifted.

Only now, Chuck didn't know how to handle the emotions swimming through his body. It was as if his entire self was at war. His heart was overcome by the feelings Sarah created in him. And for her to return those feelings – he never thought he'd feel this happy.

But then his head would remind him that she had lied. Every moment was tainted by the words whispering in his mind. After everything he had entrusted her with - his dreams, his aspirations – and he hadn't known something that made her the woman she was. The woman he loved.

How was he supposed to accept that?

He just hoped that everything would be explained tomorrow before Ellie's party. Maybe then he'd be able to decide how he feels about her.

"Who was he? I mean…I know I remember seeing him with you at the Fourth of July bonfire but what did he mean to you?"

Her next words were like ice to his heart.

"Honestly? He was my rock. My partner. I'll never forget what we shared. For five years he was the only one I could talk to."

"Oh…"

"Chuck it's not what you think. Bryce – he was someone that was always there. You have to understand… my childhood wasn't what you'd call normal. When Bryce came into my life – it was the first time I'd had someone who was around every day. I'd never experienced that before."

Chuck didn't know what to think. He didn't know what to do. Finally, he nodded his head. A slow, tentative smile appeared on his lips as he took her hands in his. "I may not understand what he meant to you, but Sarah I'm glad you had someone. Someone to lean on, to talk to. And I just want you to know I'll always be here. If you want to talk, I'll listen. And if you don't, well then we can just sit there and I won't leave your side as long as you need me."

Tightening her grip on his hand, Sarah smiled. "I know Chuck. I've always known that. Now come on! Ellie will kill us both if we're late for her party."

"Hey El. There's something I think you should know." There wasn't time for Chuck to say anything else. Before he could say another word his sister squealed in uninhibited glee. In a blur she was racing past him and throwing her arms around the woman who had become a part of their family during the past three years.

Later that afternoon, Chuck and Ellie were seated comfortably on the edge of the fountain taking in the revelry before them. Ellie being Ellie, she wasted no time in organizing a welcome home celebration for Sarah.

Three hours and a handful of calls later and the courtyard outside the Woodcomb's apartment was filled with friends and laughter.

Needless to say it hadn't taken Ellie long to corner her little brother. Try as he might, he never could evade his sister's inquisition for long.

"So Chuck…funny how not hours after you and I discuss a certain someone she shows back up in Burbank. And you may be able to fool everyone else, but I can tell that the something's changed – the two of you are happier than I've ever seen you. So what's changed?"

He didn't know how to answer his sister's question. There were so many things that he wanted to tell her. Shaking his head, he turned to watch the crowd. How do I answer a question I don't even know the answer to?

After everything she had told him since her return… how were they supposed to move on? How could they not? He didn't know if he could survive without her in his life. But how could he compete with someone who had been there for her – supported her – for the past 5 years?

An easy smile crossed his lips as he watched Sarah and Awesome making their way across the dance floor…

"Did you ever imagine something – something you never thought you'd have – and then one day it was just there and it was better than you could ever dream?" Looking to his sister, Chuck watched as she pondered his question before glancing at Devon.

Turning back to him, she responded. "Everyday that I wake up next to Devon. It's like a dream. I never thought I could feel so complete. Through the good and the bad I know I can count on him to be there. To know what I need."

Chuck could only nod. "It's how I feel with Sarah. I never imagined I could feel so connected to a person El. All I have to do is look at her and I know everything is going to be okay. I never thought I'd be able to have that. But now I do, and I feel like the luckiest person on Earth."

"I'm glad you found someone who makes you feel that way Chuck. I really am. I always knew Sarah was someone special. And you deserve special. I've always known that."

The two siblings sat side by side, a quiet calm surrounding them as they watched the party.

"You know, you never answered my question. Are you and Sarah finally together? "

"Honestly El, I don't know. When she showed back up I was ecstatic. But there was something we had to talk about before we could move on. "

Nodding, Ellie sat quietly for a minute. "And did you? Did you finally sit down and talk and figure everything out?"

Neither Bartowski noticed the blonde shadow that appeared behind them…or the way her face fell when she heard Chuck's next words.

"Yeah we talked. But I don't know if I can handle what I heard El. There's so much I didn't know about Sarah – and as much as I want to be with her - I just don't know if I can."

Grabbing his hand, Ellie made him look at her. "Chuck I've seen the way you two look at each other. No matter what your head is telling you right now, your heart knows what it wants. It wants Sarah. Don't let your doubt cost you the only thing you ever wanted for the past three years."

Chuck's silence seemed to echo through the night. Neither he nor Ellie noticed Sarah – or the way her shoulders seemed to tense then slump. It was as if his silence had reverberated through Sarah – causing shivers to race through her. No one noticed as she made one more, final life altering decision. Squaring her shoulders, Sarah Walker slipped through the crowd and out of the courtyard unnoticed.

"You're right. You're absolutely right El. Why should I risk the one person I want when she's standing there waiting for me? Maybe there is an explanation for everything. Maybe there isn't. But even if I'm not sure what I want right now – I can't risk letting her slip away. Because that would be worse, losing her, I can't go through that again."

His mind made up, Chuck vaulted to his feet, eyes darting from left to right in search of Sarah.

Before his eyes could scan back to the left Devon was stepping towards him, a glass in hand and a look of confusion on his face. "Hey bro. What's up with Walks? I just saw her sneak out the back gate. She didn't look too happy either man."

Emotions swarmed through Chuck one after the other. What if she heard? What if she knows I was having doubts? About her? About us? Please, God. Don't let her have heard that.

No sooner had those thoughts passed through his mind, a revving engine was heard and the sound of tires peeling out of the parking lot echoed through the courtyard.

A second later the younger Bartowski was racing through the courtyard and after the woman who had turned all of their lives' upside down.

"Do you know what I figured out though? No matter where we go, or what we see, all I need is you in the end. "

"This…" Chuck took Sarah's hands in his and put them in between their bodies, "This is undeniable. The way I feel about you – I've never felt anything like it. I never will."

Shaking her head, Sarah stepped away from him. "Chuck…don't say things like that. Don't build some perfect image of me. Because I'm not perfect. I have so many flaws…"

Chuck shook his head. Guiding her chin, he made her look into his eyes. "Never say that Sarah. You are perfect. You're perfect for me. No matter what you say I'm always going to know how perfect you are."

"Chuck…Please."

"Hey. You're amazing. Brilliant. Spectacular. There aren't enough words in this whole world to describe what you mean to me. Never doubt that."

"If you knew some of the things I've done…"

"Sarah I don't care what you've done in your past. It's the past. As long as you love me – that's all I need. Trust me, Sarah."

"Do you ever wonder what our life would be like if things had gone differently? I mean…if we had met in a different way, a different life?"

Chuck and Sarah had been walking down the beach for hours. Talking about everything, reminiscing, just being together. The past couple days had been a roller coaster ride of emotions. From the overwhelming joy of Sarah's return to the heartbreaking truths about the past eighteen months, nothing was off limits between the two of them.

"Every day. Every time I woke up and thought of you Chuck, I wished I was just me. Just Sarah. But I'm not."

At her words, Chuck stopped them, before turning her around to face him. "Sarah…I wish I could tell you that I'm totally okay with everything you've told me these past couple days. But I'm not entirely there yet. I promise you though, I'm getting there. When I was talking to Ellie at the party, I realized something. I love you. I love everything about you Sarah Walker. And your past – no matter how unconventional – it's made you who you are. And I will always be thankful for that."

Chuck's words made her grin. Only he could love a part of herself she'd hated for as long as she could remember. "That may be Chuck. But I have you now. And that part of me – it's over. This is the end of that part of my life. And I'm ready to start over. With you."

"This isn't the end Sarah. It's just the beginning of something new. The beginning of something great. We're beginning. I told you I'm never going to let you go and I meant that. When I graduated from Stanford Ellie told me something that I'll never forget. She told me that in life we're all just travelers and all we can do is aim for a place we've never been. Life is…well it's all what we make it. And I want to make my life with you. As long as you're by my side I can survive anything."