A book sat ignored on the table where Kai's elbows rested, their eyes closed as their face tilted up toward the clear, blue sky. Their recent brush with death reminded them how precious the little things were, especially the sun's warm rays. The mundane, what routine dimmed, was once more miraculous.
It had taken an hour of back and forth with both Charlie and Alan to convince them that Kai was perfectly well enough to leave the hospital. The compromise the trio arrived to after another hour was that Charlie would check in on them once a day, completing the required physical therapy, and Kai using crutches even for a walk to the kitchen. They had agreed – at that point, they would've agreed to anything just to go home.
Two weeks later and cabin fever had kicked in. Kai decided they were well enough to attend class and headed to the university. They hadn't advised Charlie or Alan, who had that week started helping Charlie in checking on Kai. They could apologize later – if they spend another day indoors they might die.
"Dr. Flores?" Kai sighed at the familiar voice pulling them from their thoughts and lowered their chin, nose wrinkled as they squinted at the agent standing before them.
"Agent Eppes," they replied, making their disinterest apparent, and gathered their belongings before grabbing their crutches. While Don's attitude towards Kai might have changed since the incident – they did, after all, save his brother's life – Kai's own views on him had not. "Have a good day."
"Dr. Flores, please," Don said. There was a subtle pleading undertone in his words and Kai found themselves confounded into pausing. "I'd been meaning to talk to you. Then I saw you, on my way to Charlie's just now. I thought," he stopped before shaking his head. "That's not important. I've been meaning to talk to you. I just, I know that I've been a complete and utter jackass," he continued, taking advantage at the fact Kai hadn't moved. "And I wanted to apologize. I know that isn't enough. What you did for Charlie… I mean, we could never – I could never repay you."
Kai allowed their gaze to land on the man, openly scrutinizing him. Nothing about his expression or posture showed it to be an act, and Kai allowed themselves to drop their defensive stance. "I did not allow myself to be shot in a misguided way of obtaining some sort of compensation, Agent Eppes. Just because I don't like you, doesn't mean I don't like Charlie," they replied and took the time to put the book inside their bag instead of carrying it about. "Charlie's a good teacher, a good friend." The word felt odd in their mouth, but also kind of nice. After years of isolation, it was nice to have people to trust. "I would make the same choice, even if the end result changed."
Don was taken aback by the response. "Well, let's hope this is a onetime thing," he said and tried a small smile.
There was a stretch of silence between the two, and Kai took that as a sign to turn and head into the building. They could sense his gaze on them still, but they ignored it. Despite being twenty minutes early to class, they took their usual seat and pulled out their book once more. "Kai?" Charlie's surprised voice came after then minutes and they turned to look at the younger Eppes with a smile. "What are you doing here? You should be home, resting."
"I'm perfectly fine, Charlie," Kai assured with a smile. "Besides, I couldn't afford to fall behind more than I already am. And my own four walls were driving me a little insane," they admitted with a laugh.
Charlie let out a loud exhale. "You're as stubborn as – " The rest of the words died in his mouth when they noticed Kai's suddenly cool stare. "Uh. As a mule," he ended with a little shy grin.
"Acceptable," Kai replied with a hint of a smirk. They paused and studied the professor now. "How are you holding up?"
"Ah, well," Charlie sighed as he took the seat in front of Kai. "I mean, it's not the first time I've been shot at. I imagine it will not be the last," he mused in a morose tone. "I'm going away next week, though. A bit of self-defense training seems like a good investment."
"It never gets any easier, does it?" Kai said quietly. The phrasing of the words unsettled Charlie and he studied Kai in return now. They rolled their eyes when they noticed and gave the professor a bright smile. "Come on. I just experienced it myself. I can't imagine going through that a second or third time. Pass. Training seems like a good idea, though." Their tone was confident, but there was something about it that still didn't sit well with the professor. "I'm guessing your brother caught you in time? He caught me off guard, earlier. He said he'd been meaning to talk to me."
The non sequitur caused both surprise and extra wariness. "Don. My brother, Don?" Kai nodded with a small hum. "Why?"
"I still do not like your brother, but he certainly would benefit from your help, Professor Eppes," Kai said with a shake of their head, confusing Charlie further even as a hint of a smile tugged at their lips. "He stated he wanted to apologize, but no apology ever actually followed after," they added with a laugh. "Your brother, he cares about you quite a lot, though. I see that now, and I certainly understand the why better. It doesn't excuse it," Kai clarified with a raised eyebrow. "But, I get it."
Charlie had to laugh at that himself now. "I'll be sure to keep that in mind," he promised with a nod and began tapping at the table. "Kai, what would you say to having dinner at my place?" This caused a raised eyebrow from his student. "I apologize, I certainly don't mean that as a romantic overture," he clarified before another raised brow caused him to stutter. "Not that I wouldn't, I mean, in another time, sure, maybe. But, I love Amita and – " He lifted his hands as if to stop himself when he realized Kai struggling to keep from laughing. "You knew that. Anyway, seeing how you're obviously refusing to rest, why not wander out for a proper, homemade meal?"
Kai winked playfully at the Charlie and he looked away, blushing. "It has been a long time since I've had a homemade meal," they replied thoughtfully. "I would be honored to share a meal with you and Alan, professor."
"Great!" he said and stood as students began to file into the room. "Tonight at eight. I'll text you the address." Before Kai could ask how the professor had acquired their number, he was gone to the front of the room and greeting the incoming students. And even after the class, Charlie was one of the first ones out the door. The break in routine caused an itch of curiosity and a bit of suspicion as Kai slowly collected their belongings.
The drive to their apartment was spent attempting to figure out what exactly prompted Charlie to offer the invitation. If they were to take recent events into consideration, it could be his own way of thanking Kai for taking a risk that wasn't theirs to take. The idea softened Kai's defenses and a lilt of a smile graced their lips. They took the time at home to go over the day's class notes, organizing them into the binder they'd created for it.
An alarm startled them an hour later to remind them it was time to get ready to head to Charlie's home. Kai then realized they hadn't checked their texts, but as soon as they did, they saw a message from an unknown number with an address.
A half hour later, Kai was on the road once more and headed to the location provided. They stopped a block away, though, hesitating. While it was nice to have a friend, coming to Charlie's home felt like crossing a boundary they weren't sure they should do. After their last escape, Kai had promised to keep to themselves as much as possible, not only to keep the people they cared about safe, but to prevent the heartache that would eventually come with attachment. But, it was hard. It was always so hard.
Kai bit their lip before allowing the car to roll forward the last block. Taking a deep breath, they maneuvered their crutches, then themselves out of the car. The walk up the path left them a bit breathless and they took a pause to slow their heart rate before knocking and waiting. "Kai!" Alan greeted and opened the door wide, motioning them in with a wide sweep. "Easy there, take it slow," he said even as Kai's movements were measured. "You really should be in bed, you know. We could've taken dinner to you."
"My PT said it was good for me to do some walking," Kai assured. "Plus, I could not stand another night cooped up. Oh! I have your Tupperware in the car, by the way. I just," they motioned down to the crutches. "Had my hands full."
"Don't even worry about it. I'll have Don grab it before you leave," he said, the name causing Kai to tense. That was a variable they were not expecting. Kai was sure Alan knew about the bit of history between them and his son. Though they'd never brought it up themselves, Alan had subtly hinted at it on some random occasions. For the most part, Kai had given noncommittal responses. "Come on, let's get you off your leg."
The statement drew Kai back to the present and they smiled, allowing Alan to guide them with a hand on their shoulder. Once they were seated, Alan fawned all over them. "Are you comfortable? Can I get you a pillow? Something to prop your leg up?"
"I promise I'm fine, Alan," Kai said with a laugh.
"They're a stubborn one, dad," Charlie piped in suddenly and Kai couldn't help a deadpan look at the professor as he walked into the dining room. "Even if they were uncomfortable, they wouldn't say a thing. Ready?"
"Yeah, yeah," Alan said and Kai watched with confusion as Charlie's father grabbed his own coat from the back of a chair. "Please make yourself at home, Kai. Anything you need."
They looked between the two men. "I'm sorry, I find myself a bit perplexed," they said slowly. "I was under the impression dinner would be here, with you two."
"It is, Dr. Flores," another voice interrupted and Kai's jaw clenched as understanding filled them.
"You're kidding me," Kai said to Charlie, their voice flat as the professor simply gave them a goofy smile. "Please, tell me you're kidding me."
It was Alan's turn to look between his sons. "They didn't know?"
"They would've said no," Charlie explained as he took hold of his father's arm and directed him towards the door. "Have fun, you two."
"Wait – " Kai started to say only for Don's hand to fall on one of their shoulders. Their muscles tensed fully, their eyes wide as Charlie and Alan made their escape. "I'd like to kindly request you remove your hand, Agent Eppes," they said in a low voice when the door closed behind Charlie and Alan. His touch dropped away and Kai's eyes turned towards him now. "You and Charlie planned all this."
Don sighed and rubbed at the back of his head. "Look, I knew you wouldn't accept if I asked you," he said. "And I wanted to do something, not for what you did for Charlie. Like I said, I doubt there's anything I could do that would compare to that," he clarified. "But, to apologize, to say I'm sorry for how I treated you before. You weren't wrong to say I'm paranoid, but that's no excuse for the way I acted or for invading your private life. So, I'm sorry, Dr. Flores. Really."
There was a pregnant pause, Don standing expectantly and Kai staring at him in silence. "I'm vegetarian," Kai finally spoke.
It took every ounce of Kai's willpower not to burst out in laughter when they saw the way Don's face filled with panic. "Vegetarian?" he repeated and his hand went to his face, rubbing hard at his jaw. "Vegetarian. Yeah, of course," he nodded and ran the same hand through his hair after. "I'm sure, I mean, there's side dishes without – uh, well, no. I could order right now. Vegetarian dishes. There's time."
Kai shrugged off their coat, an impish grin on their lips now. "Relax, g-man," they said and finally allowed themselves to laugh. The sound caught Don off guard and he looked over at Kai. "It was a joke. A slightly mean one, but a joke nonetheless." Don exhaled, taking a step back with his hands on his hips as Kai draped their coat over the chair beside them. "A joke with a bit of payback intermixed, if you will. You were quite right, after all. You are – were," they corrected with a bit of a more genuine smile. "A complete and utter jackass."
"Still am, falling for that after I'd already checked in with Charlie," he huffed and Kai made to get up as Don stepped back to the kitchen. "Ah, you stay put. Dad will kill me if he finds out you lifted a pinky off that table." Kai rolled their eyes, but gave a nod and a sigh. They watched as he set dish after dish on the table.
"You prepared all this?" Kai asked as they appraised the spread with disbelief displayed in their gaze.
"I did," Don replied before adding a charismatic smile. Kai noted how people could immediately fall for him. "With a little help from my dad," he conceded after Kai kept a steady, doubting gaze on them. "Glad to know it won't go to waste."
Don served Kai first, giving them the choice bits of every dish. It was odd to have someone take the extra care to the point of serving their plate for them. It was even stranger that it was the man they'd both dumped a cup of iced coffee on and slapped without holding back. "Thank you," Kai said, hoping Don would take the phrase for all the meanings they were thinking of.
He looked up at Kai and gave that same charming smile. "You're welcome, Dr. Flores," he replied. It didn't go unnoticed how he stuck to Kai's actual name.
"You do realize how awkward the next hour will most likely be," Kai said while picking up their utensils.
"Ah, well, I can take it," he assured and filled up their glasses with red wine. "Hope this is alright."
"I don't drink," Kai said casually and Don winced before quickly studying his guest's expression. When he noted the twitch at the corner of their mouth, he exhaled a sigh. Kai didn't miss the slight annoyance in it. "I would apologize, but it's a bit amusing, I have to admit."
He picked up his own wine glass and took a sip. "Yeah, well, I can take that too," Don said with a small smile now. "It's less than the least I could do."
The rest of the dinner was mostly quiet, Don asking the occasional question and Kai providing a simple response. Dinner ended and Don invited Kai into the living room, two full wine glasses in hand, as they hobbled out of the dining room. They were about to decline when Kai spotted the piano. "This is an unexpected surprise. Which one of you plays?" they asked as they headed towards it with bright eyes.
"None of us," Don said as he watched Kai run a hand over the top of the instrument. "Well, Charlie and I took classes, when we were younger. Neither of us was good enough to pick it up properly. Our mother used to play, though. And she composed. She wanted us to learn, but…"
Kai's walls lowered just the tiniest bit. It was similar, but not quite right. Still, it caused a bubbling of emotions which made it hard to hold back. And the wine surely didn't help. "My mother played, too," they said with a soft smile and they pulled out the bench, carefully sitting before exposing the keys. "It was one of the few things we were able to bond over." Their fingers hover over the piano keys. "May I?"
"Yeah, go ahead," Don said as he took a seat.
A less tense silence fell over the pair before the melody filled the room. Don recognized it immediately and he sunk into the couch as a flood of memories seeped into his mind. Kai closed their eyes after a minute, their own childhood recollections coming forth.
Unlike Don, though, Kai was adept. Maybe not professional level, but definitely much better than what he could plunk out. They played the whole piece and when the last note lingered in the air, Don straightened back up on his seat. "Debussy," he spoke when it was quiet again. "Clair de lune." Kai caressed the keys without making a sound before slowly turning towards the agent. "You're pretty good."
"I like playing," Kai said in response. "Do you still play? Or try to?"
"Not really, no," Don said and handed Kai their drink. "I mean, I remember some of it, obviously. I can still recall the notes on the piano, and I can read a music sheet. But, my playing sounds nothing like yours."
Kai took a sip of their wine. "Have you ever reconsidered picking it back up?" they asked curiously. "I simply ask since it sounds like it was something close to your mother's heart. It's the reason why I still practice. Not that I don't' enjoy it, but it's also a way to… feel close to her, I suppose."
"Your mother passed away, too?" Don asked quietly.
"I was twelve when she was killed," Kai said with a nod. "Gas station hold up gone wrong." They hadn't even told Charlie, and they considered him an actual friend, but they figured Don was already privy to this information due to the background check. His question was probably a polite attempt at pretending he hadn't completely invaded their privacy. "My father committed suicide a year after. Though, I suppose you know all this, what with your preliminary view into my records."
Don hid his shame well enough. "I didn't go in that deep," he confessed. "Just a list of previous addresses."
The confession surprised Kai, though they didn't show it. "You knew my married surname," Kai pointed out flatly, trying to keep anger out of their tone. "That does not sound like a superficial investigation."
This time he couldn't hold back the wince. "I'm sorry," he replied quietly. "It came up when getting the addresses. I didn't know…"
"No, you didn't," Kai said, their tone now icy. "And you had no right."
He leaned forward, towards Kai, and his expression was the most genuine Kai had seen on a man in decades. "Dr. Flores, I swear, if I could take it back, undo what I did, I would. It was a… stressful time, when you appeared. It's an explanation, not an excuse," he added when he noticed no shift of expression. "I'm genuinely, wholeheartedly sorry."
Kai's jaw clenched, and then they exhaled slowly. "It'll take more than a dinner to make up for that, g-man," they finally said and took a deeper drink of their wine before leaning forward as well, their eyes dead set on his. "Since I do not have your resources to dig into your life, you'll have to share a secret on your own."
"Share a secret?" Don repeated with a raised brow.
"Share a secret," Kai nodded and their eyes didn't waver from his.
It was like the first day Don met them. Well, almost. He could see Kai didn't fear him, wasn't intimidated or attracted to him. At least this time they didn't seem bored by him. "Alright," he said and lifted a hand to his jaw, rubbing lightly. "I, uh, I have a hard time holding down relationships."
A scoff greeted him in return and he raised a brow at Kai. "That is no secret, Agent Eppes," they said with a wag of their finger.
"That obvious, huh?" he sighed and scratched at the stubble again. "Alright. My dad and Charlie, they think the reason for it is that I prioritize my work over relationships," he spoke after a moment. "That I love work more than keeping a girlfriend. The thing is, work is my shield. I think… I feel if someone knows me, the real me, they'd run away and never look back."
Kai's eyes remained on him as he spoke. He tried to hold his own gaze for as long as possible, but it wasn't long before he looked away. The revelation had been new even to him as he spoke it. It brought thoughts of Robin, of the night she'd left, and that had started this secret fear that maybe he was the one with the problem. That he was unlovable. He felt too exposed suddenly, and he wished he'd lied instead.
A hand came into view and Don tried not to jump when Kai's fingers lightly tapped his forearm. "I certainly wasn't expecting that from a man that exudes such arrogance," Kai said and when Don looked up, he found a soft smile on their face. "I was reading a finance book once. Unsurprising to anyone, I struggle with numbers in any form. That is neither here nor there. But, there was something I read: 'When we own the shadow aspects of our self and put down our masks – this is when we become truly lovable'."
Their hand retracted and Don found himself disappointed. "So, what, I need to be vulnerable to keep a partner?" he asked with a groan and leaned back onto the couch. "That sounds like hell."
"Love is hell," Kai said soberly and Don's eyes went to his dinner guest once more. "Most of the time. There are rare occasions when it isn't."
Don lost count of the number of times he wondered exactly who Kai Flores was and what past they held hidden. "I guess so," he said then paused. "Dr. Flores… Kai," he added in a softer tone. "You can tell me it's none of my business, but, do you need help?" He noticed Kai stiffen at this. "I mean, the moves, the falling off the grid. If there's anything I can do – "
"It's none of your business," Kai said and set the glass down on the coffee table, precariously standing after while grabbing their crutches. "I should be going. It's late." Don closed his eyes for a moment before standing as well. "Thank you for dinner, Agent Eppes."
"Don," he replied and followed Kai's slow progress to the front door. "Listen, I'm sorry – "
"Agent Eppes, no more apologies," they said and turned towards him. "Simply refrain from prying, if you please."
"Yeah," Don said and scratched at the back of his head. "I can do that."
"Thank you," Kai nodded. "And good night." Don watched them head out and enter their vehicle. More than once he found himself wanting to go to them, help them. But, he forced himself to stay put. He kept watch, though, until the lights were gone, and kept watch even after they disappeared.