Disclaimer: If I owned it, Sirius would still be alive, as would Fred. Mean old JKR…
Note: Here's your update. I got bored and decided to go ahead and post it. Please hit the review button, all of your lovely reviews make me so happy! Next up, probably a shared chapter between Neville and Luna. Enjoy!
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Severus Snape prowled up the dungeon stairs, tired and annoyed. He had just come from another session of trying to convince Draco to trust him; Merlin's beard, Dumbledore had given him a hard task! It was a virtually impossible one, as well. The boy just wouldn't talk…damn him! If the Death Eaters got into the school, countless of the students could lose their lives. Why did Draco have to be so stubborn? So devoted to an empty and despicable cause? Severus conveniently forgot that he used to be in the exact same place as Draco, so lost and angry that even Voldemort looked more comforting than facing the truth.
Seeing that no one was around, Severus allowed himself to have a rare moment of weakness. He leaned up against the stone wall and put his face in his hands, his oily black hair falling like a curtain around his head. How long could he continue to do this? Still, this weakness wouldn't help anything. He didn't wish to whine about the hardness of life. He had made his bed years ago; now he must lie in it.
Severus straightened up and continued to ascend up from the dark and dreary dungeons. As he was passing one of the small square windows that was set in the wall to add some light to the staircase's murky gloom, he looked out nonchalantly and stopped dead at the sight that succeeded in grabbing his attention. For just a moment, he was no longer Severus Snape, Potions Master and Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. His heart wrenched in his chest as he was propelled back to when he was seventeen, and looking on just such a sight from his dormitory window, long ago.
Outside, the Potter boy was walking around the lake with a red-headed girl, who looked up adoringly at him. The Gryffindor colors that Severus, by now, secretly admired and coveted sparkled from their robes, and Snape shook his head. It wasn't James and Lily as he had thought at first, lacking all the logic that he normally prided himself in. No, it was Potter's brat, Harry, walking around with Ginny Weasley. Snape had noted before now how much Ginny was like Lily; not just in looks, although they did share the same red hair and similar body structures. No, they had the same fire, the same spirit, and the same unquenchable desire for unity and justice. Did Harry consciously pick a girl that was just like his mother, or was he truly that much like his father? He was certainly like him in every other way…
He still remembered that churning feeling in his stomach, as if he had just taken a very bad potion, whenever he had seen Lily with James. The worst had been the time that he'd come upon them snogging. He had wanted to scream against that obnoxious boy, soiling Lily's lips with his own filthy ones! But when he saw how happy Lily had looked, how content her eyes were, Severus had walked off quietly and left them. He may have been selfish to want Lily for his own, but he wasn't selfish enough to deprive her of even a momentary happiness. Surely she would eventually see Potter as he truly was…James was the sniveling prat, not Severus. But she hadn't realized, and so she had married James, and Snape had been so embittered with watching someone else live with his love that he had turned to the only thing capable of ridding his mind of such light whimsies and foolish longings: Voldemort. Voldemort was filled with such malice, such cruelty and contempt that surely Snape's ability to love would wither away and would take the pain forever. But it couldn't. Severus' love for Lily was too strong for even the Dark Lord to get rid of. It was truly too bad that Severus hadn't seen the light in time to save Lily…yes, even in time to save her despicable husband, Potter….
Yes, Harry was his father's son all right; he was the living copy of James. But as Severus looked at Harry and saw the softness in the boy's…Lily's…eyes, even he had to admit that that wasn't true. For the first time, he stopped the bitter feelings that entered his gut every time he saw Harry and admitted to himself that the boy had Lily's same sense of right and wrong; he wasn't afraid to associate with Muggleborns or werewolves. He, too, saw past a person's sins to the person that they truly were, always excepting Malfoy, of course. In that area he was just like his father.
Oh, Lily, Severus thought longingly to himself, what would our son have been like? Would he have had your eyes with my hair? I hope not, he thought wryly. Still, sometimes I wonder…would I have been a good father? Better than my own father? Perhaps it's better this way. Maybe I can't be trusted…
A light laugh reached Severus' ears and jerked him from his reverie. He then saw clearly that it wasn't the old galling sight of James with Lily, but just Harry with Ginny. It was a bright day, and Severus was older now. His heart felt at least as old as Dumbledore's, filled with the memory of love and love lost.
Snape turned away from the window and continued on his way up the stairs, with only the stones to see a lone tear trickle down his stern and formidable face.