It's been five days ever since the big scare. I don't think I can handle another thing like that.

Xana and I...we are now one ever since. Neither of us know how, or even why. It's a problem, of course. He doesn't want to be me. Again, I do not know why. I am glad to have Xana with me, for he is protection, and he sometimes comforts me. (That last isn't even intentional. I guess it's because I'm not ever alone.)

But there's a dream I've been having. I can't remember what it is when I wake up, and all I know is that my dream is when I had my memory. When everything was ok. So everything right now is not ok.

I'm asleep and having the dream again, but suddenly everything melts into black and takes on new meanings. I'm running down a long hall, trying to reach the end, but I can never get any closer. Suddenly the hall darkens, and I can't even see where I am going.

I sit up in bed and cry out in surprise. "Who am I?! Where am I?! What am I doing here?! What just happened?!"

"You're Jeremie, you're in bed in your dorm, we fell asleep here, and we were dreaming," Xana answers, sounding like he's half-asleep still. (I don't really get that phrase.) "Oh. You had the same one as well?" I ask cautiously.

"Duh, Jeremie. I'm stuck in your head."

"Stuck? What do you mean, stuck?" I ask, rubbing my head. The room was still dark. I guess the sun thing hadn't risen yet. I eye the clock. "Does 11:28 mean the sun's gonna come up soon?" "No, it means you had a night terror."

"What's that?"

"It's when you have something worse than a nightmare, and a nightmare is a dream that scares you. Night terrors are like nightmares for adults."

"So I'm grown up now?" I ask hopefully. Xana sighs. "Jeremie, you've got a lot to learn." Well, at least I'd known that for a long time.

"So Xana, do you know what made me lose my memory?" I could've sworn Xana was shocked, even though I couldn't see him. He's only a voice in my head.

"Y-I mean n-I mean...I..." Xana stammers. Uh oh. He's hiding something from me. "What is it? You know?" I ask gently.

"No, don't ask me ever again."

"You do too know!" I protest.

The door opens and a bright light shines in my eyes. I wince, blinking rapidly, until my eyes adjust. "Aelita?" "Jeremie, I heard you yelling in your sleep. Anything wrong?"

"Xana knows something and won't tell me," I sulk. "No! I really don't!" Xana mumbles. Aelita gives me a scowl I know is really intended for Xana. "Spill it Xana, or I'll take a nail gun to your computer."

"All right! I confess, I do know what happened to Jeremie's memories..."

"Well...? Out with it!"

"Because I destroyed them."

"YOU DESTROYED HIS MEMORIES?!!!!" Aelita rages, then turns pink. "Shut up!" Xana hisses, as Aelita locks the door. "YOU did that?!!!!" she demands. "That was YOU?" I ask, not wanting to believe what he said was true.

That couldn't be.

He didn't do that.

...Did Xana do that?

"I knew you were evil!!!" Aelita yells, furious. "It WAS you!!! I only suspected, but even I believed you couldn't sink that low!!"

Aelita storms out of the door in a rage, slamming it shut after unlocking it.

"You...you did that?" I ask quietly, my face in my hands. "You did this to me? You caused me all this pain in my mind? You tried to turn me against my friends?! You made me forget?!!"

"I...I...I was wrong," Xana confesses.

"LIES!" I rage. "YOU LIE!! You just want to use me!! I'm just an instrument of your will!!! You killed me in my mind only for your own wants!!!! I hate you!!!" I cry, my fists clenched.

"You killed me...you killed me..."

Xana is silent.

I am so mad...I was used and I thought he really cared...But I am not wanted. I am only needed. And something inside says that it shouldn't be this way.

Finally, solace from only these words:

"I didn't really know what I was doing."
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Ooh! Xana's been pegged! What's Jeremie gonna do, now that he knows what Xana did to him?

Preview from the next chapter:
Bitter...against all humans...
Bitter. I have only heard of this word once, but I know the tone well.
Xana.