And the Clock Struck Twelve
By seraphimstarlight
Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Tales of the Abyss or any of its characters.
Author's Note: Kyaa! Thank you soooooo much everyone! I'll continue working hard for you guys!
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He could not get to the port quickly enough. The faster he ran, the longer the path stretched before him. Once familiar streets turned into a tortuous maze in which he seemed to have become completely entrapped. But he would get there. He had to.
As he turned the next corner his heart, which had been hammering in his chest just moments before stopped completely.
A small familiar figure was crouched on the end of the far pier, thin graceful legs dangling in the water. For a moment, the numbness returned. Was it her, or a figment of his imagination? He desperately hoped it was the former and not the latter.
He approached her cautiously so as not to startle her. As he edged closer, he let out a breath he had not realized he had been holding. She whirled around, flinching at the sight of him. She tried to speak but seemed unable to make any sound. Instead, she looked away out over the water. He noticed, with a start, that the pale moonlight highlighted tears tracks on her cheeks.
For a moment, the fear in him resurfaced, but he swiftly surpressed it. He did not want to worry her. Right now, she was the one in pain; she would not let him help her if she felt that he was suffering in any way. That was just how she was, and that was one of the many reasons that he cared so much for her.
Concern drew him closer to her. He could barely keep himself from pulling her closer to comfort her. Instead he asked, "Your Highness, are you all right?" He struggled to keep the worry out of his voice.
For a moment, it seemed as though she would not respond, but then she turned to him and nodded slowly, pausing to wipe fresh tears from her red-rimmed eyes.
Hesitantly, he leaned forward and wiped away a tear with his thumb. He noticed, with concern, that her skin was as smooth and cold as porcelain. Her small frame trembled in the cold evening wind. Good gods! She was half frozen! How long had she been out here?! He regretted not wearing a jacket. Now that the adrenaline had worn off he was beginning to feel the cold as well. But, at least if he had a jacket, he could have done something to keep her warm.
He turned to her, hands hovering a hair's breadth from her shoulders. "Your Highness, we have to get you inside!"
She turned away, forcing his hand to fall away from her face. "I'm all right," she said, hunching over to draw her knees closer to her chest. "I just need to be alone for a while."
Maybe, but she certainly could be alone somewhere much warmer. She might catch cold if she stayed out here any longer.
"Please, Your Highness…." He stopped when he noticed that she had cringed at the use of her title.
"Guy, please call me by my name," she said, her words muffled by her knees and the fabric of her skirt. "Just for now. Please?"
He nearly winced at the strain in her voice. It was so unlike her to be subdued. He knew her as a vibrant woman who feared nothing in the known world—a woman who was as strong as she was beautiful. It hurt unbearably to see her like this.
"What happened?" he asked, the question slipping past his lips. He couldn't ignore the panic that rose in his chest when she didn't answer.
He leaned forward again and, after a moment's hesitation, placed his hands on her shoulders. She stiffened at his touch. He took a deep, calming breath and asked as calmly as he could, "Natalia, please, tell me what happened. Did someone hurt you?"
She looked up at him, and, for a moment, he thought she would not answer. But she bit her bottom lip as though she were trying not to cry and shook her head slowly.
Eventually she let out a trembling "no" and looked back out over the water. He noticed as she turned away that something shiny slipped from her hand. After taking a second glance, he realized she had been clutching the Maestro Stone pendant—the pendant that had been Asch's final gift to her.
A frown briefly crossed his face before his impassive mask slipped back into place. Some one had hurt her, just not in the way he had thought. That bastard was still tormenting her so. Asch was lucky he was already dead.
He wanted to ask her what she had been thinking about, but right now, getting her somewhere warm was his main concern.
"Natalia, please, let's go back to the inn. We can talk there if you want to."
She looked back up at him, a look of concern etched across her features. She wiped the tears from her face and gave him a wan smile. " Oh, of course, you must be cold. I'm sorry to make you come all the way out here, especially in this weather." She bowed her head slightly. "I apologize. It was terribly selfish of me."
Though the fearful thoughts that had overwhelmed him earlier had not completely disappeared, he found he could not blame her for a fear that had been his own. True, she had left her room when he had asked her not to, but, he couldn't find it in himself to blame her for it. She was safe, and in his mind, that was all that mattered.
He ran a hand through his hair, trying to appear relaxed. "Well, I can't say I like the weather, but, as far as I see it, there's nothing to apologize for." He chose his words carefully. "And I…you didn't force me to come after you. I did that of my own free will."
She studied him momentarily, having to crane her neck to meet his eyes. Seeing this, he knelt next to her, never removing his hands from her shoulders. She paused and bit down on her bottom lip.
She squeezed her eyes shut, as though she was trying to hold something in, but after a moment she blurted out, "But you're not!"
"Not what?" he asked, startled by the desperation in her voice.
She stifled a cry. He noticed with a painful start that her shoulders had begun to shake with a force too great for mere shivering. A gasp escaped her, and then she went still. His heart stopped for a moment, but then she looked back up at him, her eyes brimming with tears.
His grip on her shoulders tensed involuntarily. "What am I not?" he asked, unable to keep his voice steady.
Tears dripped down her face. After a moment she said in a quiet voice, "You're not here because you want to be…"
This time his heart did stop, and he was barely able to overcome the numbness that took hold of his body. His grip went limp, and his hands slipped from her shoulders.
"Why…what made you think that?"
" This…protecting me. It is your duty to your country just as it is my duty to marry the Emperor. You're just the same as Asch! You only care about your duty!"
The accusation was so unexpected that he was uncertain how to respond to it. For a moment, he could not find the words to reassure her.
Instinctively he reached up, gently cupping her face in his hands, trailing his thumb across her smooth skin.
"Duty or not," he said quietly, "I would protect you regardless."
Her eyes widened. Clearly, she was as surprised as he, not only at the gesture but at the emotion that had almost drowned out the words themselves. She jumped a little when he leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers, lightly bumping their noses together.
He closed his eyes, trying to think of a way to comfort her. The words came intuitively.
His voice dropped to a whisper. "If I could…if fate would allow it…I would never, ever leave you. I would stay with you always…"
The words drifted away, carried out over the sea by the night wind. At first, he wasn't quite sure she had heard him, but he noticed that tears had once again begun to fall.
"Oh, no, no,no…shhhh." He wiped away the tears and made various soothing noises, his heart fluttering maddeningly in his chest at the gentle warmth of her shuddering breath. "It'll be all right."
He held her for a moment until she calmed down. He jumped slightly when she pulled away, taking his hands in her small, cold ones.
"You're trembling," she said after a moment's hesitation.
Looking down at his hands, he noticed that she was right. He pulled his hands from hers and stared at them. He grit his teeth. He hadn't wanted her to see this—this shameful weakness of his. She would think that it was the phobia.
He knew better.
There was just no way he could tell her why he was still afraid to touch her—why every moment he spent close to her was tortuous—why his hands were trembling.
He rubbed his hands together as though he was trying to warm them. "Oh, it's nothing to worry about," he said, faking a laugh, "I'm just cold. That's all."
She frowned at him, but the expression seemed to melt away into a weak smile.
"I'm sorry to do this to you," she said. "I mean, you've had that phobia your whole life, yet here I am, putting you in this position." She tried to laugh but couldn't seem to make a sound. "You're so kind, and I'm taking advantage of that. I'm sorry."
"You don't need to apologize."
She shook her head. "You're wrong. I do. So please, let me."
He looked at her, wishing that she would not blame herself for a weakness that was his own fault—especially when she completely misunderstood the nature of that weakness. But, if it would ease her mind…
He nodded.
She looked up at him, and he found himself breathless. The way the starlight reflected in her eyes was positively beautiful. He was unable to look away.
"Count Gailardia Galan Gardios," she began, her voice having regained some of its usual confidence, " I, Princess Natalia Luzu Kimlasca-Lanvaldear hereby apologize for running off in the middle of the night, forcing you to come after me, forcing you to remain in close physical proximity to me, being generally foolish and inconsiderate, oh, and selfishly forcing you to remain out here in this cold so long that your face has been so badly frostbitten that it is now red."
He blinked a couple times. If his face was red it had little to do with the cold. But he couldn't tell her that.
She titled her head, so she could see his face better. "Was that acceptable?"
"Of course," he said, glad that she seemed to be feeling better. "Now would you like to return to the inn?"
She nodded. "Yes, let us return now."
He pushed himself to his feet and extended a hand to help her up. She smiled and let him pull her to her feet. But after a second, she stumbled and would have fallen back to her knees had he not caught her by the elbows.
She glanced sheepishly at him. "I…I'm sorry," she stammered, "I cannot seem to stand…" Her voice trailed off.
"What happened? Are you hurt?"
"It's just my ankle, I think twisted it when I jumped…"
"You shouldn't put weight on it then."
"No, it's okay. I should be fine," she said. "I'll just rest it when I get back to my room."
She started forward, but he held her fast. She looked up at him, a glint of defiance in her eyes.
" You can let go of me," she said, "I'll be all right."
He frowned. "You'll only make your injury worse."
She raised a delicate eyebrow. "And who says that isn't part of my master plan? If I injure myself, I'd have a valid excuse for not dancing with the Emperor."
His frown deepened. "If you don't want to dance with him, then just say so. Don't hurt yourself for his sake."
The last part slipped out involuntarily, and, for a moment, he wasn't certain which situation he was referring to, this one or the whole ordeal with the Emperor.
" I'm here to help you," he said.
" I don't need help." She tried to pull away, but her bad ankle gave out. She lost her balance, and, since he did not let go of her, she ended up pulling him along with her.
She muffled a squeak as she hit the ground, but seemed otherwise unhurt until he fell forward, accidentally cracking his forehead painfully against hers. The impact sent sparks shooting up before his eyes.
When his vision finally cleared, he looked down at her, only to find his face mere millimeters from hers. Their eyes widened in sync, and she flushed a curious shade of red. He pushed himself off of her, falling back awkardly on his haunches.
She sat up, her face still flushed and placed her hands demurely in her lap.
It took a moment for his mind to be able to form a coherent thought, and even then, the only thing he could manage to say was "I am SO sorry!"
Her expression was unreadable.
He cleared his throat, trying to regain his composure. "It was terribly improper of me."
She stared.
He couldn't help fiddling with his collar. Why was she staring like that? Maybe she was offended? But he hadn't meant to fall on her. She wouldn't hold it against him, would she?
He couldn't keep from feeling hurt at the thought that his presence might be so wholly unwanted.
"Are you all right?" she asked, concern tinging her voice. "You hit your head pretty hard. I should know." She laughed quietly and brought her hand to her forehead.
" I'm fine. Are you?"
She nodded.
A silence stretched between them. She shivered and wrapped her arms tightly around herself to ward off the chill.
"We should return to the inn," he said at last. "We've only got a couple of hours before we have to leave for Grand Chokmah."
Her face fell. He wished there was something he could say, but it was simply a fact. There was no rationalizing that—no way around it. Just as there was no way around the fact that she would, in all likelihood, marry the Emperor.
And it was his duty to take her there. The irony was unbearable.
"Let's go back to the inn," he said, surprised at the emptiness in his voice.
She nodded slowly and tried to stand, only to find that he had once again placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her.
"Oh no you don't," he said. Without another word, he scooped her up in his arms, pulling her close to him.
Her eyes widened. She opened and closed her mouth several times, obviously having difficulty speaking until she finally managed to stammer out, "P-p-put me down immediately!"
"I will," he said, good-humored again, "when we get back to the inn."
She flailed about, trying to get him to put her down, and he struggled to keep hold of her.
"S-stop squirming! Or I'll end up dropping you!"
"That'll be fine, so long as you PUT ME DOWN!" Her voice rose several decibels with each word.
"I told you—"
"NOW!!"
"No."
Wrinkles formed briefly on her brow, but disappeared when a devilish expression appeared on her face. Then, to his surprise, she leaned closer to him and, lacing her arms around his neck, placed a light kiss on the side of his neck.
He did drop her at that, but he managed to catch her before she hit the ground. For a moment, however, he wasn't certain that his legs would be able to support him. They were feeling an awful lot like a stack of apple gels.
A mischevious smile graced her lips. "And will you put me down now? Or…do I need to try something more drastic?"
More drastic? He wasn't certain if he could handle that. His heart was already doing nervous somersaults in his ribcage. Still, he couldn't help wondering just what she would do.
He brushed away the thought. It was wholly improper, if not unwarranted. It was only a few hours till sunrise now, and they both needed to get some sleep, adding a quick "separately" to the end of the thought and flushing all the way to his hairline. He was certain that even the tips of his ears were crimson.
She was looking at him strangely, but he dared not look at her any longer. Only Lorelei knew what would happen when his self-control was whittled away completely. He hated to admit it but, deep down, he wanted it—wanted her…
But that was asking far too much. In a few days, she would be forever beyond his reach, but, that was in a few days. Right now, he was free to remain by her side, and he knew without a doubt that he would not leave her.
She had stopped flailing now and had settled comfortably against his chest. He did not dare believe that she was actually comfortable—or, that she liked being held by him. He forced himself to believe that she was simply asleep.
She was asleep in his arms. He liked the sound of that…
But it would not be.
Get back to the inn. He had to get her back. She was waiting, and he was wanting—wanting to be closer to her than he had any right to be.
Despite himself, he cast a glance back down at her, finding that she had indeed fallen asleep. He pulled her closer, savoring the closeness.
As he turned to head back towards the inn, he cast a glance out over the moonlit sea. He had stopped wishing on the day that Hod had been destroyed. Wishing was a foolish, idle notion. It did nothing. It could change nothing. At least, that was what he had told himself for years since, as a child, his wish for his family back had not come true. But now, for the first time in so, so many years, he found himself making a wish on the many stars that sparkled in the sky.
Please, please, let me stay by her side.
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Author's Note:
Lol, I worked nonstop on this one, but it was pretty fun to write so it still went by quickly. Oooh the fluff! I was so happy with the way this part turned out. Originally, it was supposed to be longer, but I liked this ending better for this particular chapter. Next chapter will cover the departure from Chesedonia to the arrival in Grand Chokmah, and should be out by next Tuesday or so. Till then!