Sucy dragged the back of her hand across her brow and frowned at the clock. Where had the hours gone? The scientist was certain that she had just started working on the formula she needed to present the following week… and yet, once again, the sun was setting and she had accomplished nothing outside of her chemistry experiments.
She sighed and pushed her chair away from her lab table. Losing track of time meant that she had accomplished none of her other tasks. The tired cyborg stumbled to her feet and made her way upstairs to the kitchen. Her basement had long-since been turned into her workspace, leaving the rest of the house to live in.
She made a face at the mess in the kitchen. The dishes from the last time she had cooked several days ago remained on the stove and in the sink, and she could tell they were on the verge of smelling. Why was it such a pain to have a mostly-human body still? Feeding it and taking care of herself took more work than it was worth on some days.
Fortunately the food residue was all in the compost, but the trash bucket was overflowing with miscellaneous bits of cooking experiment failures and empty pre-made food containers. And that didn't even begin to cover the dust and scattered scientific books, beakers, and potion bottles decorating the living room.
Sucy ran a hand over her face. It was too much to handle on her own. That much was becoming clear. Maybe she should finally look into purchasing a couple of cleaning and assistant bots. That would mean clearing out her guest room and ensuring that she kept things in stock to take care of bots. Money wasn't an issue, but she still did her best to not spend too much.
She shoved a meal into the microwave and went to her bedroom to grab her laptop while her food heated. She didn't have the fancy internal computer systems that a lot of her colleagues and counterparts had. All she had was artificial lungs and limbs. But as long as she had her brains and the means to access the internet and research all she needed to, life was decent.
Sucy cleared off space at her table for her laptop and booted it up, getting up only to grab her food and one of the last clean utensils before she settled back at the computer. Countless websites existed, offering the latest in both sentient and non-sentient bots of all types, based on the needs of the seeker. She sighed and pulled up one of the most popular websites, LunaCorp. She scrolled through, bored by what she saw, until an ad caught her eye.
Domestic helper bots - sentient. Sold only in pairs. Skilled to fulfill all of your domestic needs. Order today, delivery tomorrow!
The price was comparable to that of the single bots, making it a fairly easy choice for Sucy. And what was the worst that could happen? Bots like these could always be returned or exchanged if they didn't work out.
She ordered it without hesitation. The usual pop-up of fine print flashed on screen, requiring the 'read and agree' click box on the bottom. She rolled her eyes and clicked without reading, completing the transaction. The bots would arrive the next day, according to the site. Such was the LunaCorp guarantee.
Sucy finished her meal and took a peek in her guest room. The room itself wasn't a mess like the rest, simply because she forgot about it more often than not. But the linens were musty, and the bookshelves were covered in dust and cobwebs.
"Those bots better be worth the money I spent on them," she mumbled as she closed the door behind herself and took herself to bed.
The following morning, a knock and a heavy thud outside the door came a quarter past 9. Sucy opened the door, and took in the sight of the burly, old delivery driver with two human-sized boxes. Instinctively, she took a step back.
"Sign here for the delivery." He sounded incredibly bored and like he wanted to be anywhere but where he was.
"Can you bring them to the entryway, please?" Sucy scribbled her name on the digital pad and stepped out of the way.
"Next you're gonna be asking me to open the damn boxes too." He rolled his eyes but used the handcarts to push them to where she directed. "Have fun."
"Thank you." She waited til he was going before opening the front of the two boxes.
Two cyborgs stood side by side, as different as any that she had seen despite their matching black and white classic maid outfits that looked out of place. Neither moved until Sucy found the master switches under the plate on their respective left thighs.
The one on the right was blonde, with bright blue eyes and a demure smile. The one on the left had brown hair, crimson eyes, and an exuberant expression that immediately had Sucy on her guard.
"Hi there! I'm Akko, and this is Diana. You sent for us to come work for you, as live-in assistants?"
"I did. Come on in," Sucy warily greeted, opening the door wider for them.
"Greetings, Mistress. I am Unit Diana. What is your identifying nomenclature?" Diana bowed at the waist when she entered the house. "Your domicile is lovely, albeit untidy."
"Diana! You're not supposed to say such things!" Akko scolded. She bowed low at the waist to Sucy. "How can we serve you, Mistress?"
"You can get a start with dishes and removing the dust from any surface you see. You can come ask me questions if you must, but I would prefer not to be disturbed. I shall be downstairs in my laboratory." Sucy didn't wait for them to respond before she turned on her heel and retreated down the basement stairs.
The only sounds that carried down to her for a few minutes were the murmurings of the two cyborgs upstairs and the occasional dish clatter in the sink. She thought nothing of them again for the next two hours. Not until there was a loud crash and the sound of shattering glass from upstairs.
Sucy's head snapped up. The brew bubbling over her bunsen burner couldn't be abandoned. She had approximately five minutes before she would be at a stage where she could go upstairs without fear of ruining the potion. So, she did the only thing she could think of.
"What's going on up there?" she bellowed up the stairs.
There was a scramble and some curses before the one called Akko appeared where Sucy could see her. "So sorry to disturb you! We just had a mild mishap upstairs. But it's okay! Diana is cleaning it up as we speak."
"What broke?" Sucy glanced over, but couldn't take her eyes off her potion for more than a few seconds.
"Ummm, there were a couple of beakers and a decanter that were bumped and fell over while I was wiping the dust off the shelves in the living room. Don't worry! They were empty." Akko bowed at the waist. "We're so sorry. It was an accident, I swear!"
Sucy sighed. "Clearly. Just don't let it happen again. I'll be upstairs in a few minutes to check your progress."
"Unit Akko. Your presence is required here." Diana's smooth, calm voice carried down to them.
"Oops! Better go. Sorry again!" Akko bowed and hurried upstairs, leaving Sucy alone once more.
The scientist rolled her eyes and focused on her potion. One wrong move, and the last twenty minutes would all be for nothing. She practically held her breath until it was finished. It came out perfectly.
Sucy grabbed a potion bottle and poured the steaming brew into it, carefully setting it to cool upright in a stand on her bottle rack. Then she stepped back, wiped her brow and took a deep breath before heading upstairs.
Off-key singing greeted her as she came up to the landing. She stopped in her tracks when she saw the two cyborgs dancing in the kitchen with a broom and mop respectively. Akko continued crooning while Diana focused on sweeping around her in a grand waltz.
"Working hard, or hardly working?" Sucy asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Ahh! Sorry! We didn't see you there." Akko stopped immediately. She fumbled with her mop, dropping it against the counter. "Come see our progress!"
"Oh, I'm seeing it."
The trash had been cleared and bagged to be taken out, but only half of the dishes from the sink were clean. The floor was mostly swept, yet also partially mopped. A glance at the living room revealed the garbage there too was cleared, and the stacks of books moved into various neat piles. Dust had been cleared from the shelves lining the walls, but there was notably an entire empty shelf that had previously held extra beakers, carafes, and spare potion bottles.
"A bottle or two?" Sucy scowled at them. "How in the world did that happen?"
"Well, you see–"
"Unit Akko lost her balance while attempting to reach the upper shelf. I salvaged what contents I was able. The remaining glassware awaits proper cleansing in the kitchen sink." Diana bowed at the waist. "My sincere apologies, Mistress Sucy. As Lunacorp robots, we strive to provide excellent service in all regards."
"Yeah, yeah." Sucy dropped her arms to her sides and spun on her heel. She froze, what little color existed in her face fading in an instant. "What. Happened?"
"What? Oh. Ummm, so, we caught it with the edge of the broom and accidentally knocked it off the wall. Don't worry! The picture is intact! It's just the frame that's broken."
Sucy picked up the broken frame and checked it carefully. As Akko had said, the photograph of herself as a child beside her mother inside was perfectly fine. She sighed heavily and shook her head at her two fellow cyborgs. "What am I going to do with you? I thought you were supposed to be skilled at cleaning. So far, you've broken some of my things, and half-assed your cleaning jobs."
"We are, but that's not our primary–"
Diana set her broom down. "Mistress Sucy is in distress, Unit Akko. Recommended course of action: relaxation. Commencing kissing subroutine." She lunged forward and caught the surprised scientist by the waist and pressed a firm kiss against her lips.
Sucy wrenched back but didn't get very far, falling onto the couch while Diana eagerly approached again. "Wait! What is going on!? I ordered domestic helper cyborgs, not–
"Companion droids, courtesy of LunaCorps!" Akko supplied. "We're skilled in domestic skills, as well as ensuring that you're never lacking for company or affection."
Diana sat beside her on the couch and wrapped her arm around her. "I detect high levels of loneliness in Mistress Sucy in addition to distress. Continuation of kissing subroutine suggested."
Sucy sighed and let her lean in for another kiss. To her credit, Diana was skilled with her caresses, and the arm resting on her shoulder was pleasant. "Give me a reason why I should keep you around," she grumbled. "You're interrupting my work. You've broken my glasses, and an important photo frame for me.
"That's hardly fair!" Akko pouted while she sat on the arm of the couch, sandwiching Sucy in the middle. "You haven't given us a proper chance."
"No, but you're also nothing like what I expected, and the false advertising that LunaCorps had listed on their website needs to be addressed."
"Is Mistress Sucy dissatisfied? Processing. Analyzing potential solutions."
"Diana, would you cut the formal, cybernetic speech?" Akko snapped, crossing her arms over her chest. "It's so lame and boring!"
"Unit Akko, studies have shown that most end-users of LunaCorps robots prefer clearer signifiers of artificiality."
"Well, Unit Diana, I was told by head scientist Ursula that that stuff's outdated! And need I remind you, Sucy herself has cybernetic enhancements." She gestured to the scientist's mechanical arms and the artificially created legs from her knees down to her toes. "Don't you think you can tone it down?"
"I echo that," Sucy muttered under her breath.
"Apologies, Mistress." Diana leaned back and demurely folded her hands in her lap. "You may punish me as you see fit."
"Punish you? What makes you think I'm going to do that?" Sucy pushed herself up from the couch. "Just… focus on finishing the dishes, and please, for my sake, don't break anything else while I'm trying to figure out what to do with you."
She sat down heavily at the table, pulling open her laptop. Behind her, the two cyborgs murmured quietly amongst themselves before the sounds of the dishes being washed and put away behind her. Sucy forced the worried thoughts from her mind while she pulled up the receipt from the order. All she had to do was start the process for the return.
But the instant she pulled it up, the top of the page made the announcement she didn't want to see. No Refunds. Below, in smaller print, there was a notice regarding returns. Returns could be processed for an exchange, but only when the cyborgs fit into a detailed list of criteria, all including malfunctions of one form or another.
Sucy buried her face in her hands. This couldn't be happening. There was nothing wrong with the two cyborgs. The only real issue was the false advertising. She could leave a negative review on their website but what was the point? It would do nothing to alter the reality of the fact she was now stuck with these two domestic companions.
She didn't register the cessation of the sounds from the two cyborgs behind her. All she could think about was what a fool she was for not reading the fine print. What was the first rule of handling any kind of alchemical formula? Reading it, from start to finish, prior to beginning the experiment. If that wasn't done, one might miss crucial steps in the process, or experience unexpected results along the way that might cause panic. The same was true with major purchases. Obtaining usage of the domestic cyborgs was an odd gray area. They weren't considered servants but nor were they free to do entirely as they pleased unless the one who 'bought' them allowed it and filed paperwork to elevate their status. It wasn't difficult, merely time consuming to compile all the necessary information. Not to mention assuming primary responsibility should they choose to go rogue at some point.
A set of arms gently wrapped around her shoulders, while another hand rubbed soothing circles over her back.
"Is there anything you wish to converse regarding, Mistress?" Diana kindly asked.
"Sucy. Just call me Sucy." She didn't lift her head.
"Very well, Sucy."
"I'm an idiot who didn't read the terms and conditions about purchasing from LunaCorps before I completed the transaction. Just like I didn't read the full details about your primary focus beyond household assistance." Sucy sighed heavily and rested her head sideways on the table. "I'm not blaming you. Either of you."
"... so does this mean you're stuck with us?" Akko sheepishly asked. "Not that we mind! We enjoy being here. At least I do."
"Akko! That is the most disrespectful way to converse with our mistress! Referring to her as being 'stuck with us', as if we are an imposition rather than potentially offering assistance to her as we have been programmed and requested to do."
"No, she's right. You can refer to it as such. I don't know what I expected," Sucy mumbled. "I've been alone for so long that the thought of companionship beyond keeping the house clean has been daunting. Yet here we are."
"If it makes you feel any better, we haven't had any experiences that we can recall. This is our first time out of LunaCorps. We've had loads of training and programming tweaks, but never an actual assignment."
Sucy sat up then and looked at the two cyborgs. "Alright. Well, given how this is now turning out, I'm going to set some ground rules."
"Understandable. Allow me a moment to procure the appropriate devices for recording such things." Diana rose and retrieved a tiny handheld device from a bag by the front door. "This will allow multiple voice recordings as well as simple data transfer to Akko and I."
Sucy eyed the device. "It looks like what I record my notes for work with."
"It's not dissimilar to voice recorders utilized by scientists," Diana agreed.
The blonde pulled out the chair beside Sucy and moved the items on it to the floor before taking a seat. Akko remained where she was, content to hug Sucy from behind.
"I'm every bit as new to this as you are. So, firstly, please don't push me into too many displays of affection. I've never been a touchy person, and it'll take some acclimation for me to be comfortable with such things," Sucy began.
"Oh. Do you want me to stop?" Akko asked, pulling away from her immediately. "I don't want to upset you!"
"A hug is perfectly fine. In fact, it's kind of nice," the scientist admitted. She tucked her hair behind her ear and took a deep breath. "Depending on how this goes, I might even file paperwork to elevate your status. I'm not fond of power dynamics, but I'm thankful for the help. Just be patient with me, please."
"You're not going to kick us out to the streets then?" Akko hesitantly inquired. "I mean, you don't have to send us back, but–"
"Where would you go? Tell me that. On paper, you're supposed to be assigned to me and working in my home. Running errands for me. What happens if an accident comes up and they question you about your work? Where would you live if you're not earning your own keep?" Sucy shook her head. "No. We're going to make this work. For all of our sakes."
Akko threw her arms around Sucy's neck. "You're not going to regret this."
"We shall endeavor to offer the best assistance and companionship possible, M– Sucy."
"Thank you. To both of you." The scientist pulled her laptop closed. "I'm going back to the couch, and I'm going to put on a movie. You're welcome to join me."
"Oh! Do you have popcorn? A good movie deserves snacks." Akko bounced back on the balls of her feet. "I'd love to make some for us."
"Bottom of the pantry. You'll need to make it on the stovetop. I hate the processed bagged garbage." Sucy pushed her chair back and stretched. "Join me on the couch, Diana?"
The blonde smiled and brushed invisible specks of dust off her ruffled apron. "It would be my pleasure."
Sucy settled on the middle of the couch, tucking her legs up underneath her. A romantic comedy sounded perfect for the afternoon. From the kitchen, she could hear Akko humming loudly and the clatter of dishes from the exuberant cyborg. And she wasn't alone for long. Diana sat beside her, carefully folding her hands in her lap. Sucy peeked at her before dropping her head onto the blonde's shoulder.
"Are you satisfied with the present circumstances, Mistress?"
"Sucy."
"My sincere apologies. It is an adjustment for me." Diana hesitantly wrapped her arm around Sucy's shoulder while the scientist scrolled through menus in search of the perfect film.
"I'm satisfied, I suppose. Provided Akko doesn't burn the kitchen down." Sucy's nose wrinkled when the scent of burnt popcorn carried into the room.
"Culinary skills, while fascinating and amusing to her, are not her strength. I would recommend that you assign cooking to me, if I may be so bold." Diana cocked her head as she read the film titles. "Are you familiar with all of these?"
"Not entirely. But they're mindless amusement, and I like the break from the mundane, monotonous life I have."
"I got the popcorn! I even added butter. I couldn't find the salt though." Akko breezed into the room with a huge bowl of half-burned popcorn. She plopped onto the couch on Sucy's other side and rested the bowl on her lap. "What are we watching?"
"A romantic comedy when I can settle on one."
"Oh, I enjoy those! As long as they have a happy ending." Akko bounced on the cushion, spilling popcorn over herself and Sucy.
The scientist sighed and settled deeper into the sofa. If life had been boring before, the addition of the two cyborgs in her home promised to be anything but. It would take adjusting, but perhaps it wasn't going to be so bad. Her new companions gave life in unexpected ways, and for that she was thankful.