-Half Blood-

-ElvenHope-

Chapter XII

Elladan didn't look up when his bedroom door opened. He pretended to be asleep, he didn't want to talk to anyone he just wanted to be left alone. All that changed though when he heard his mother's voice. There was so much sadness and worry in it and the knowledge that he was the one causing that simply made him feel worse.

"Oh Elladan," Celebrían sighed sitting down on the edge of her son's bed and running a hand through his hair. "What are we going to do with you?"

"I'm alright Nana," Elladan whispered though he didn't attempt to look at her. He felt something wet land on his cheek and raised a hand t swipe it away, wondering what it was. Then he realized and looked up apprehensively. His mother was crying!

He turned his head away again the thought making his heart clench. He was making his whole family miserable! Why couldn't he just tell them the truth!

"Nana," he said hesitantly actually sitting up this time and looking at her; though it pained him to do so. "It wasn't…"

Celebrían looked at him quizzically. "What is it Elladan?"

The younger elf tried to get the words out and choked on them. Could he really tell them about Rael? Could he endanger Elrohir and Arwen like that. No, he couldn't. He turned away and shook his head wordlessly.

"Elladan?" Celebrían pressed needing to know what her son had been about to say.

Elladan hesitated then replied another lie slipping past his teeth. "I didn't mean to… I never wanted to make anyone sad… I just want to forget about it all." He sighed and looked down at his hands. "I'm really sorry."

"It's alright," Celebrían soothed pulling her son in for a hug. "As long as you're alright that is all that matters ion-nín."

The younger elf wanted to say something, but he couldn't find the words so he stayed silent. Things would get back to normal eventually, they always did. He just hoped that it wouldn't take too long.

Glorfindel knocked lightly on the door of Elrond's study before turning the handle and entering. The Elven lord was not at his desk, he was standing with his back to the door staring out of one of the picture windows at his home.

"Erm… Elrond?" Glorfindel asked hesitantly.

"I don't know where I went wrong," Elrond sighed running a hand through his hair and turning to face the Balrog Slayer.

Glorfindel was shocked by how old his friend looked then. His eyes were troubled and the weight of many years seemed to be suddenly pressing down on him.

"What do you mean?" Glorfindel asked confused as Elrond turned back to the window. His friend was behaving strangely, but that wasn't all that concerned him at the moment. "Is Elladan alright?" He asked hesitantly.

Elrond's wan face turned a few shades paler and his eyes were grave. He didn't know how exactly to answer that question and just looked at Glorfindel despairingly. "He… he's cut himself…"

Glorfindel looked confused and Elrond realized that he hadn't worded it very well.

"No I mean…" Elrond turned slumped into his chair completely exhausted. He didn't want to say it, as though saying it would be admitting it to himself. He didn't want to believe that Elladan could have done something so terrible, never mind the accusations which Rael and his father had been throwing at him right at the moment. He didn't know where to start with this problem, he didn't know what to do with his son…

"He cut himself deliberately-"

"Are you sure?"

Elrond levelled his friend's gaze with his silver eyes. "I've seen the scars… I thought someone had done it to him at first, but he wouldn't give me a name and when I asked him…" Elrond rested his head in his hands his head-ache coming back again. "What am I going to do?"

Glorfindel was speechless, but seeing that Elrond needed some form of comfort he tried to offer some support. "But did Elladan say that he did it to himself? Actually say it?"

The raven haired elf peered at his friend over his hands. "No… not in so many words."

"Then how can you be certain?" Glorfindel asked quickly. "I just don't think that Elladan would ever do something like that-"

"And a few days ago I didn't think that he would either. Nor wander off all by himself… or try to throw someone off a balcony!" Elrond replied exasperated. "This is just something we'll have to work through… he'll come out of it eventually won't he?"

Glorfindel looked uncertain, but hid it as he watched Elrond push loose strands of hair irritably from his face. "I am sure that he will. And I will be here to help you."

"Thank you Glorfindel," Elrond replied softly. "I don't know what I'd do without you sometimes."

Glorfindel smiled though he could tell that Elrond was about to ask him to do something. It was not common for Elrond to compliment someone to get them to do something, but the Balrog Slayer had a sneaking suspicion that his friend was not done yet.

His suspicions were confirmed when Elrond's grey eyes caught his own azure ones. "I was wondering if I could ask a favour of you Glorfindel, until everything gets back to normal could you please watch Elladan for me? I will find someone to fill your patrol spots; I just need someone I trust to look after him whilst I try to get to the bottom of this."

The blond couldn't say no and his answer was immediate. "I'd be happy to, where is he now?"

"In his room with Celebrían," Elrond replied looking at his desk. "I have taken away all his weapons and banned him from weapons training until I am certain that he can be trusted."

"Isn't that a little-"

"I am not taking any risks, Glorfindel," Elrond snapped his tone harder than he had intended. "He is my son, if anything should happen to him-"

"Mellon-nin you have my word that nothing will happen to him," Glorfindel said quickly. "I promise." As he said those last two words his stomach sank. He had promised to keep Elladan safe before and he had failed. He only hoped that this time he would be able to keep his word.

Glorfindel had become Elladan's shadow for the past two days and it was beginning to become irksome. A few times Elladan had thought that he'd given the elder elf the slip only to see him standing in the shadows or bump into him around a bend a few moments later. At dinner he could always feel three pairs of eyes on him and he really wondered if they thought he was going to grab his knife and try and cut himself. It hurt that they didn't trust him, but then again he hadn't given them a reason to do so.

Elrohir had found out about what he had said somehow, though Arwen remained oblivious to it. Elladan was glad that his father had decided to keep the matter a private one. That didn't help where Elrohir was concerned, however. He was beginning to loose patience with his brother. Every chance Elrohir got he would remind Elladan that he should be doing the right thing by telling everyone the truth. Even when someone else was watching Elrohir would throw glares at him, but apparently his parents were too busy with something else to notice. Elladan couldn't really blame them though, he could see the stress he was putting them through and it was hurting him more than they might think.

"Elladan?"

Elladan jumped out of his skin upon hearing the Balrog Slayer's voice so close behind him. He had thought that he had finally managed to loose the elder elf.

"Yes Glorfindel?" Elladan asked looking at the floor. He had found that he couldn't look anyone in the eyes lately and it was beginning to hurt his neck apart from everything else.

"Do you mind if I ask you something?" The blond asked sitting down in the chair opposite. They were in the library; Elladan had only come here because he knew that it was the last place that anyone would look for him. Unfortunately Glorfindel was clever enough to figure him out.

Elladan considered refusing, but then shook his head silently. What reason could he think of to be rude or unkind to the Balrog Slayer? He had helped in a lot of ways recently and Elladan was thankful for that.

Glorfindel sighed and looked at his hands. He looked nervous, which was most certainly bizarre for the elder elf. It worried Elladan slightly.

"You won't try and do it again, will you?" Glorfindel asked actually unable to meet the boy's eyes. He couldn't believe that Elladan had done something like that to himself in the first place and deep down somewhere he needed to know. Elladan too was looking away trying to focus on something, anything else, when ideally he would have liked for the ground to simply open and swallow him up.

"What you mean kill someone else or myself?" Elladan asked sardonically and Glorfindel looked as though he had been burnt. Sea blue eyes flashed up to stare incredulously into Elladan's pale grey orbs. The peredhel regretted his words upon hearing them, but he didn't take them back, he didn't want to.

"I don't think that you did it you know, I don't think that you pushed Rael and I don't think that you cut yourself either," Glorfindel countered quickly trying to ignore the disturbing expression which Elladan wore. The peredhel looked exhausted; he looked like he was cracking under the pressure of it all and Glorfindel wondered if grilling him like this was really the right idea.

Elladan looked shocked and he tried to hide his expression as fast as he possibly could. "Why do you think that?"

"Because I know you Elladan and you wouldn't do something like that," the elder elf said softly reaching across the table and putting a hand on the boy's arm. Elladan resisted the urge to flinch away. "What really happened in the woods that night penneth? Who really made those scars on your wrists?"

Elladan suddenly had the urge to let everything spill out, to let it all go. He just wanted this to stop. It was killing him and tearing his family apart and he knew that he was the one causing this terrible mess. The thought of Elrohir or Arwen in pain flashed through his mind and he bit his tongue. Elrohir crying… Arwen screaming, he had to block out the images before they became too much to bear. He wanted to burst into tears or run away, but he kept his composure and feigned calmness even though his façade was slowly breaking away.

"Do you want to hear me say it, is that it?" Elladan asked his voice sharp again as he tried to defend himself in the way he'd been taught to by the elf who sat opposite him. Maybe if Glorfindel realised that he'd hit a nerve then he'd stop.

The Balrog Slayer's expression softened. "No, no I don't penneth, I'm sorry." Glorfindel sighed and looked away. "So why are you in here anyway?"

"To be honest I was just trying to have some time to myself for a moment or two," Elladan answered truthfully.

"I wish I could let you have it, but your father has given me orders," Glorfindel said matter-of-factly. Elladan's eyes dropped to the table top and he blinked quickly to fight back tears. He didn't even know why he was crying!

"I just want everything to go back to normal," the boy sniffed. "I didn't want this to happen."

"Hey, hey," Glorfindel soothed making his way around the table towards the elfling. "Everything will get back to normal, it just takes time."

Elladan looked up at him, eyes shining with tears. "Really?"

Glorfindel nodded. "Yes, trust me."

A/N: Gah sorry for the late update... I was going to update last night but then I was told to go to bed so that obviously didn't happen XD. So I hope you like it :) Next chapter... hmm haven't actually started the next chapter yet which is kinda bad, but seeing as there are a few more to go it shouldn't be hard to motivate myself. Thanks for the reviews!

-ElvenHope