Exit the Archangel, Enter the Trickster

The day I clipped my wing and became Loki the world's most famous Trickster. Now that is a story worth tell. It all began in the little town of Dalr one autumn night. In was in this building, i can't actually pronouce it's name correctly but roughly translated it meant the house of drink and meat

Now I remember this town was basically a farming community and it also had trouble with a population of wolves that lived on the outskirts. Every now and again the wolves would come in and kill the livestock and with winter just around the corner the town relied on the local hunters(not monster hunter) to protect them and their livestock.

Now if I remember correctly their was this big dumb hunter named Olaf. Big stupid fellow looked like a troll or that guy Fat Bastard from the Austin Powers movies. He was one of the biggest bullies i ever met. He used to steal food and have his way with the local virgins and whores. That royally pissed me off, those are my whores. And worst of all people just let him get away with it, if they did complain he'd just threaten to stop protecting them.

Now one he pushed me over the edge and I let him have it. I was sitting in they minding my own business, enjoying a nice pint of ale when all of a sudden Olaf kicks the tavern door open letting a cold breeze as he does it. He comes in swinging a wolf's head around bragging about how he just killed an entire pack.

'Yes' he said to his fans 'The first one I killed by slicing it's head clean off, then the leader of the pack I killed with my own bare heads'. Yeah right odd are he just found a dead wolf and cut it's head off.

'Egill' he said refering to the barman 'Pour me out a pint of your strongest ale'. 'Sorry'he said 'All out, all i've got left is mead'. 'Bah, a child's drink' he said and notice I had nearly a full pint off ale.

He smiled, snatched the ale and pushed me off my barstool. He drunk it all in one go and let out a burp like Barney out of the I got up he pulled out his sword, What a surprise their's no blood on it.'If you have something to say, say it to my sword' he said holding it to my throat.

Yeah I've got something to ask you' I said getting up 'How did a worthless fat ass like you ever become a hunter'. He was about to swing his sword in anger but a laugh from an unseen source stopped him.

'Who dares laugh at Olaf the great wolf slayer' he shouted. More like Olaf the great man whale. Nobody step forward. It was then Olaf turn to a local farmer in the corner.

'You there' he said pointing to him 'Are you the farmer with the giant pig. Oh yeah he was the farmer with the second biggest pig in the village, the biggest being Olaf. 'Yes' he said nervously.

'Kill it and have it brought to my house, it will be delicious' he said. 'But Olaf my family needs that pig to survive the winter' he pleaded. Olaf laughed and said 'I'm sorry but i thought i was the one who protects your family from being killed by wolves'. 'You are but' he began but was interupted by Olaf.'And if i were to stop protecting you from the wolves, what would happen?' he asked.

'The wolves would kill us' he said sadly. Olaf then picked him up by the scruff of the neck and held him in the air and said 'Then I think one pig is a small price to pay for the safety of your family'. He dropped him.

'You shall have the pig brought by you eldest daughter, the one with the large bosoms' Olaf said smiling at the thought. 'Ok' he reluctantly agreed. Man that was horrible i've got to give that guy what he deserves.

When Olaf left the tarvern i followed him until I was sure we were only. 'Olaf' I shouted to get his attention. 'You!' he exclaimed moving closer towards me 'You are the tiny man whose head should be on the tavern floor'. He drew his sword.

'You want a pig I'll give you a pig' I said snapping my fingers. With that Olaf the hunter began to change, his skin turned pink, he nose became a snout and his finger fused together and become hooves. Olaf the hunter was gone and in his place was Olaf the pig.

'Hey did you just turn that guy into a pig' i heard a voice say from behind me. I turned around a saw a hot blonde woman looking at me. 'Em' I began searching my brain for an explaination.

'Are you a Trickster ?' she said 'Yes' i said taking this as an excuse. 'Nice to meet you I'm Freya, I'm also a God' said. 'I'm Loki' i said making up the name on the spot.

'I've never met another god before' I said turning on the charm 'But If their all as hot as you, I can't wait to met them'. 'Your not so bad yourself' she said eyeing me 'What do say we have some fun'

'I loved to but first I got to take Olaf here to his new home' I said remembering the plan. 'Very well i'll be in that house their' she said pointing to Olaf's old house. It was the biggest in the village and probably belonged to some else before Olaf extorted the village.

I brought the pig to the home of the farmer who he was bulling today. I knock on the door and the farmer answer 'Hey buddy, listen Olaf wanted me to tell you he sorry for how he treated you today and told me you don't have to give him your pig, in fact he want you to have this pig' I said giving him Olaf the pig.

He was overjoyed at this and couldn't stop thanking me. I heard that year the pork had a very Ale like taste. Anyway so I went back to Olaf house and prepare for a night of passion with Freya.

I opened the door and went into the bedroom and saw Freya lying on the bed completely naked. 'What took you so long' she said before i ravaged her.

The next couple of hours are a bit Pg 13 but let just say I gave Freya the night of her life. Yes I'm sure that after that night when she was with another man she was thinking of me. In fact i'm surprise the bed held, my complements to the person who made it.

After that night I was no longer Gabriel the Archangel, I was Loki the Trickster.