Chapter 3
Deputy Coffin and Deputy Cohen. (Benny and Mark)
"Could you slow down a little Benny!" Mark asked as he clutched onto his seat. "Why did you get to drive anyway?"
"Because you can't even hold a gun with out it going off, no way in hell I'm going to let you drive me around." Benny answered as he got an idea.
Mark looked over to see a smile hit the other mans face. "Why are you smiling?"
Benny looked towards Mark. "We are in a cop car."
"So…" Mark said nervously.
Benny reached his hand out, and before Mark could say anything, the sirens were on and they were speeding down the road.
"Benny you're going to kill us!" Mark shouted as he grasped his camera.
Benny let out a laugh. "Stop being such a baby, you're on TV."
"Please stop!" Mark said.
"Alright!" Benny said as he slowed the car down.
Just as he slowed down some stranger flew past them, and shot them the finger.
"Oh no he didn't!" Benny said as he turned on the sirens once again, and began chasing the vehicle.
Mark looked towards the sky with tears in his eyes. "Oh god please let me live through this."
Once Benny pulled the guy over he opened his door to get out of the car, only stopping when he noticed Mark wasn't moving.
"You coming?" Benny asked.
Mark slowly shook his head. "You can get this guy, I'll get the next."
"But you're my partner what if he has a gun?" Benny asked.
Mark shrugged. "I'm sure you'll be fine on your own."
"Mark, come on, it's for a reality show." Benny said.
"I just can't!" Mark said. "I had an accident."
Benny stifled a laugh as he climbed back in the car. "What happened?"
Mark looked down. "I got a little scared."
"Did you?" Benny asked.
Mark slowly nodded.
Benny then began to laugh out loud. "Oh my god I can't believe you peed your pants!"
"Shut up!" Mark said.
"It doesn't matter, they got that on film!" Benny roared.
Mark blushed as he looked into the dashboard camera. "Great, just great! I knew I shouldn't have done this stupid show!"
Just then the guy Benny had pulled over, drove off and sped out of sight.
"Oh great, look what your wet pants did." Benny said.
"Shut up, and drive me back to the loft so I can get some dry clothes!" Mark said.
Benny began to laugh some more, as he started the car and headed down the road.
Deputy Davis and Deputy Marquez. (Roger and Mimi)
"I can't believe I'm a cop!" Roger said. "Lets go find someone to shoot!"
Mimi let out a giggle. "Just because you're a cop, doesn't mean you can go around and shoot everyone."
Roger nodded. "I can shoot who ever I want. I'm the authority, and if no one listens they'll have to answer to me and my gun."
Mimi just shook her head. "You wont have the guts to shoot anyone."
Roger snorted. "You just wait and see."
A half hour later:
"We have been driving for nearly an hour and haven't seen any crime…is this really New York City?" Mimi asked.
Roger sighed. "I know, I thought for sure we would get some action."
"Wait!" Mimi said as she pointed out the window. "Is that a crime?"
Roger squinted his eyes to see. "No," He sighed. "Just people dealing drugs."
Mimi sighed and fell back in her seat.
"How about that?" Roger asked.
Mimi followed his finger to see a little 12-year-old girl being dragged into a dark alley, by an old creepy man. "Nope, just a little girl and her father."
"What about that guy running out of that convince store with a bundle of cash?" Mimi asked.
"He's probably just in a hurry." Roger said as he watched the guy run down the sidewalk.
They drove around a little bit longer, until they finally seen a crime.
"Did that guy just litter?" Mimi asked.
Roger nodded. "He did!"
Mimi eyed Roger. "Lets get him!"
They both jumped out of the car, and ran to the scrawny man.
Mimi pulled out her badge and flashed it, while Roger pulled out his gun.
"Freeze police!" Roger shouted.
The guy looked around, and when he noticed they weren't talking to anyone else he put his hands up. "What did…I …um do?"
Mimi lowered her badge. "You no exactly what you did."
"No I'm sorry I don't" The guy answered.
Roger slowly walked to the trash that was thrown on the ground, while he held his gun directly in the guys face. "You threw that on the ground, that is legal."
"Illegal sweetie." Mimi corrected him.
Roger shrugged. "Meh same difference."
"I'm sorry I'll pick it up." He said as he bent over.
"DON"T MOVE!" Roger shouted.
The guy jumped back and threw his hands over his head. "Sorry!"
"No you'll do as I say, and when I say it." Roger said.
Mimi smiled. "Wow you're a good cop."
Roger smirked. "Okay, no bend over slowly and pick up the trash."
The guy did just that, and waited for more instructions.
"Walk over and place it in the trash can." Roger said.
The guy fretfully walked one step to the side, and placed his garbage in the garbage bin.
Roger lowered his gun and smiled. "Now was that so hard?"
The guy slowly shook his head.
Mimi nodded. "You can go, and just think about where your garbage should go the next time you're walking the streets."
"Yes…" He said as he ran in the opposite direction.
"Good work Mimi." Roger said as they both walked to the car.
"I like being a cop!" Mimi said as she climbed in the cop car.
Deputy Tom…Collins and Deputy Schunard (Collins and Angel)
"This is so much fun!" Angel chirped as she clapped her hands.
Collins shrugged. "I don't know, we haven't even had any action yet."
Angel smiled. "So it's still fun to be riding in a cop car."
"What's that?" Collins asked as he pointed out his window.
Angel took a glance. "Someone is waving us down, pull over!"
Collins pulled the car over, and the two got out.
A frantic woman ran over to the two with tears in her eyes.
"What seems to be the problem miss?" Collins asked in his best cop voice.
"Oh thank god you are here! There are these bums harassing me for money!" She cried.
"Bums?" Angel asked.
The women nodded. "Yeah come quick!"
Angel and Collins eyed each other as they followed the women. When they arrived they saw a guy strumming a guitar.
The guitar player looked up and smiled. "Money, from a gentle officer?"
Angel smiled as she reached in her pocket, pulling out a dollar bill she placed it in his case.
"Thank you." He said as he began playing some more.
The girl looked towards Angel repulsed. "Why are you supporting this?"
"This is his way of life sugar, he isn't doing anything wrong." Angel replied.
"Yes he is! He is polluting our streets with no good unsuccessful artist!" She yelled.
"That's it miss, you are coming down town." Collins said as he began hand cuffing her.
"What! Why what did I do?" She asked. "You should be arresting the filthy…bohemian!"
Collins put the hands cuffs on and dragged her to the cop car. "Get in."
"But I didn't do anything!" She yelled.
Collins looked towards Angel. "Shit what can we get her on?"
Angel shrugged. "Um, she had drugs on her!"
Collins smiled. "Good one! This will show her not to mess with us bohemians!"
They both climbed in the car, with the women yelling in the back seat.
"You are the worst cops ever!" The girl shouted.
"La Vie Boheme sugar." Angel said as she gave the women a smirk.
"You wont get away with this!" She shouted.
"She said LA VIE BOHEME!" Collins said in a firm tone.
The girl just huffed and threw herself against the seat.
Deputy Jefferson and Deputy Johnson. (Joanne and Maureen)
"This so cool!" Maureen said as she started pressing random buttons in the car.
"Maureen, be careful." Joanne warned her.
Maureen looked around. "So where do you think the camera is?"
Joanne shrugged. "I don't know, I always see them on the dashboard when I watch reality shows."
Maureen smiled towards the dashboard. "Hello America, I'm Maureen the next big thing. Sit back, get comfy and enjoy the show."
Joanne giggled as she watched her girlfriend talk to the camera.
"Ooo a radio!" Maureen said as she picked up the end to talk into it.
Joanne sighed. "Maureen leave the radio alone, its so we can hear police calls."
"Relax Joanne, I am the police!"
Maureen pressed the button and began talking into it. "Hello, deputy Maureen here."
"Hello, deputy Maureen, this is deputy Collins." The radio said.
Maureen squealed with delight. "This is so cool!"
"Joanne say something!" Maureen said while holding the talking end in Joanne's face.
"Not now, I'm driving." Joanne said as she pushed Maureen's hand out of the way.
"Fine, I'll have my own fun." Maureen said as she brought the mouthpiece back to her mouth. "This is the sexy diva, calling all other sexy humans to respond."
Joanne just shook her head, as her girlfriend played around.
"This is trucker man Joe, I'm big, hairy and sexy." The radio responded.
Maureen started giggled at the response, and went to answer. "Hello big Joe, what are you wearing?"
"Maureen." Joanne warned.
"Shh." Maureen said as she waited for an answer.
"Clothes, but I can pull over and take them off for you if you want."
Maureen and Joanne began to laugh.
"Say something else!" Joanne said now interested.
Maureen laughed. "Okay, um." Maureen took in a deep breath and changed her voice. "This is the police, and I would like anyone who is listening, to pull over, pull down their pants and bark like dog."
Joanne rolled her eyes. "Now that is just dumb. No one is going to do that."
"Is there anything else officer?" A guy answered seriously.
Maureen eyed Joanne with a smile. "Is it still dumb Joanne?"
Joanne stifled a laugh and kept her eyes on the road.
Maureen talked into the radio again, changing her voice to sound like an innocent little girl. "Hi, this is Candy, and I'm stuck on the side of the road, only wearing a string bikini and nothing else, and I think I need someone to rub lotion on me."
"Where you at?"
"I'm on my way!"
"I'll be there in five minutes!"
Maureen and Joanne laughed at all the responses.
"Okay lets take this seriously now." Joanne said.
Maureen sighed as she put the radio down. "Okay."
Five minutes later:
"This is big Joe, is sexy diva still out there?"
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Thanks for all the reviews! and for reading! ;D
Next chapter i'll have them deal with more criminals!