Chapter 9

Jason stood on the docks looking out over the water. There was a nip in the air, but it didn't bother him…never did. He never used anything more than his trusty leather jacket to protect his body from the cold. Tucking his hands into the front pocket of his jeans, he leaned back into the wooded beam that supported the upper decking of the dock.

It had been a week since he'd seen her. How he had made it almost three years he wasn't sure. He supposed it was because he thought she didn't want to be with him and since he usually gave her what she wanted, he'd complied. And now, all this time later, he'd learned that she thought he'd left her. To top it all off, when she wanted him to stay - he left - and now that he was back, she wanted him gone. Jason dipped his head forward and rubbed the back of his neck.

Hearing thumps coming from the stairs, he turned his head and saw Elizabeth slowly walking down the steps and towards the bench. From Jason's position on the dock there was no way he could leave without her seeing him. He wasn't sure what cosmic force was working against him that he would end up in this position…again.

He eyed her from the shadows as she sat down on the bench and swiped her nose with the back of her sweatshirt covered arm. Was she crying? He watched as she pulled up her legs and wiped under her eyes. Yup, definitely crying.

Jason felt a tightening in his chest as he considered his options. Go to her and find out what's up…if he had anything to do with this, Jason would definitely choose one of the umpteen different ways he had imagined killing him this past week. Or…stay put and wait for her to leave, hoping she doesn't spy him in the shadows. Jason felt creepy enough last week to last him a lifetime, so he decided he would make himself known.

"Elizabeth?" Jason stepped out from the shadows and called her name as if he wasn't sure it was her. Good one, he told himself, pleased with his creativity.

Elizabeth lifted her tear stained face and looked at him. She rolled her eyes closed and slowly shook her head side to side as her shoulders slumped.

She looked miserable, but super cute. Sweatshirt, well worn jeans, her face appeared free from make up and her hair was swept up into a ponytail with bangs framing her face. Jason understood that women wore makeup to accentuate their features and Elizabeth certainly didn't shy away from the stuff, but he swore her lips look fuller when they were bare.

"Are you okay?" he asked as he leaned over slightly to try to see her face.

"I'm fine," she clipped, looking out toward the water.

Ignoring her obvious lie, he asked, "Is there anything I can do to help you?"

Elizabeth chuckled, "Gee, let's see. Umm…you could…get lost," she whipped her gaze to meet his and accentuated her statement by widening her eyes.

"I don't want to leave you like this," he said genuinely.

"Oh that has got to be the statement of the century," she laughed. "This is a walk in the park compared to how I was the last time you left!"

"I explained to you why I went away. I thought it was what you wanted," his shoulders slumped and he looked at the planks below his feet.

"If you had bothered to say goodbye, you would have figured out otherwise. Our lives might have been so…different today." Her voice quieted to an almost whisper and she stared back out over the water.

He followed her gaze out into the sea. In their silence, Jason could hear the sound of the waves rolling against the pilings. It was such a soothing sound, steady and melodic.

Jason took a deep, cleansing breath and turned to face her. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"He dumped me," Elizabeth said with a sad smirk as she continued to gaze out into the darkness of the harbor.

Jason wasn't sure how to respond. Would jumping up and down be inappropriate? Probably, he decided, so he went with . . .

"I'm sorry." A lie. "He's an idiot." The truth.

"That's just it Jason," she looked up at him. "He's not. He really is a good guy," she paused, exhaling. "It's me."

Jason moved to the bench and sat down, being certain to keep as much space as possible between his body and hers, feeling grateful she was no longer yelling at him.

"Is that what he said?" Jason asked.

"Yes, but he was only pointing out the truth."

"Oh, and what's that?" he asked, feeling himself getting increasingly irritated with this guy.

Elizabeth glanced at him, the look on her face telling him clear as day she didn't know what the hell she was doing. "I have walls," she stated simply.

He understood her doubt, but there was something so natural about them talking to each other like this. "Walls?" he continued.

"Walls."

"What are they made of?" he asked. "Brick? Cinderblock? Mud and sticks?"

She laughed. He loved the sound of her laugh. "What does that have to do with anything? You know darn well that isn't what I'm talking about."

"The material matters because how else would someone know how to get through," he stated with a slight crooked grin.

She smiled back. "Well…I'll have to get back to you on the material, but he did say the walls were unscalable. Unscalable? Is that even a word?" she asked as she furrowed her brow.

"I think anything is scalable," Jason stated with confidence.

"He says I have to help. That I have to…," Elizabeth's eyes rolled up as if trying to access the memory of their conversation, "throw him a rope."

"Do you want to?" he turned his head to look at her.

"Yeah…No…I don't know," she said. "That's part of the problem," she glanced quickly in his direction.

"You've said he's a good guy. The two of you seem…close." Jason turned his head slightly and scratched his cheek with his index finger. "Do you…do you love him?"

"I like him," she replied quickly. Jason exhaled, not realizing he had been holding his breath. "I like him a lot. It's just that …" she paused.

"It's just what?" he looked at her.

"He's not…" Elizabeth trailed off as she lifted her eyes to meet his and tilted her head ever so slightly.

Their eyes searched one another's. Jason felt himself swallow hard and watched as she did the same. His gaze dropped to her mouth as her tongue swept across her lips. He felt his insides warm as she tucked her plump lower lip under her teeth, suddenly realizing just how much he had missed Elizabeth.

He reached out to cup her jaw allowing his thumb to run over her cheek. "Elizabeth," he whispered.

He felt her face melt into the palm of his hand. Mesmerized by her, he failed to recognize as his own tongue moved over his mouth, wetting his lips. The shift in mood caused the air surrounding them to suddenly feel thick and intoxicating. Jason felt himself leaning in and noticed her breath hitch in response. He watched as she slowly lifted her chin to meet him.

Their lips brushed together and they shifted slightly to rub noses before kissing again. Jason used his hand to tip her face and asked her to open her mouth with his tongue. She complied and he moved his tongue slowly, cherishing the opportunity to kiss her again after what felt like forever.

Their kiss slowly deepened and Jason inhaled, stealing Elizabeth's breath. He slid closer to her as she moved her arms around his neck and ran a hand through is hair. It was so soft, just as she had imagined. His kiss was hungry and Elizabeth felt as if he was feasting off her mouth.

As she started to give in to the sinful things Jason was doing to her mouth with his tongue, a voice in the back of Elizabeth's head began to gnaw at her. You can't have him Elizabeth, it said. You're too far gone. He'll never forgive you when he finds out the truth. You can't lie to him. It will never work…

Elizabeth straightened and stood, pulling herself out of his grasp. Jason looked at her, her lips plump and bee stung from his kiss. He was stunned.

"What did you do that for?!" she raised her voice at him.

Jason sat in silence, looking confused.

"You can't just show up after all these years, track me down and kiss me like…like that!"

"Is that how that happened?" he asked rhetorically.

"I am trying to move on," she stated as she began to pace. "And you…," she waved her hand at him, "you come back and ruin everything!"

"So now your breakup is…my fault," he countered.

"If you weren't here - as you haven't been for three years - I wouldn't have been freaking out all this week and pushed Ryan away." She continued to pace.

"I made you freak out," he stated, his lips curling into a crooked grin.

"Don't fucking smile!" she yelled. "It's not cute! It's not funny!" she exclaimed, pausing mid stride to point her finger at him.

Man she's pissed, he thought, stretching out his long legs and crossing his ankles, then folding his arms over his chest. She just spilled the beans and now he was kind of enjoying the show.

Elizabeth continued to pace, a look of disbelief marring her features as Jason made himself comfortable.

"What are you doing?!" she bellowed.

"Just sittin' here," he said with a slight shrug.

Elizabeth stood frozen, staring at him, huffing in anger. They sat in silence, eyes locked on each other, as her breathing slowed. "You don't understand," she said as she began slowly pacing again. "You left me when I needed you," her voice was softer, more vulnerable.

"I've told you why I did. I thought it was what you wanted," he said seriously. "What do you want, Elizabeth?" he barely whispered.

She stopped pacing, turned to look at him, and ignored his question. "It changed me, Jason. Everything that happened after you left changed who I am," she stated as she placed her hand on her chest.

Jason noticed Elizabeth's eyes welling with tears. He straightened, and then stood, reaching out to touch her. "Elizabeth?"

She choked back a sob. "I can't do this," she said as she turned and ran up the stairs.

Jason turned towards her as she ran, closing his hand and dropping his arm to his side. He had an overwhelming sense that he was missing something.

He heard her voice repeat the phrase…"Everything that happened after you left changed who I am."

He ran that statement through his head. Not "everything that happened when you left," or "everything that happened because you left," but, "everything that happened after you left".

Jason was certain he would have heard if something had happened to Elizabeth. He had asked Sonny, once again, to keep an eye on her while he was gone, so he was positive he would have be told if something bad went down.

But the nagging feeling persisted. What is she keeping from me? He didn't know, but he sure as hell was going to find out.