The New World

After hoping over the pond the get to America of those coffin ship (they weren't lying about the name, buy a ticket get a headstone free) i settled into the New World. When i got there The Pale Face and the Natives didn't get along, they went at it like Cat and Dogs, it was like watching Avatar except without Aliens.

Anyway i spent the first few years spreading my special brand of fun. Nothing to extreme just a few legands come to life and other stuff. I remember this one person talk about a great big wind bag, he was already full of hot air I just made it real and watched him swell up like that girl in Willy Wonka and watch him float away into the sky.

I remember this woman who was so vain if she was Chocolate she'd eat herself. For her i decided to go the way of Shallow Hal and make it so that she would looked as she was on the inside and let me tell you her inner self made the Wicked Witch of the West look like Jessica Alba. Another there was this big Bully, the guy was an ass so that what i turned him into. But i gave him a second chance, i think i was going soft, i turned back into a human and told him if he ever bullied anyone again I'd turn him back into a Donkey and that time i wouldn't turn him back.

Yep America was fun until George Washington and the Damn Rebellion against the Brits. They expected me to fight, I'm a Lover not a Fighter so I decided to slip back to Europe until one of them said Uncle.

I headed to France. I decide to do what I did with Spartacus and start a rebellion here. Call me crazy but i've always hated monarchy, they think they get their power from God, as if my dad would let dicks like them run a country. I remember Henry the 8th, he wanted a son so badly, I fixed it so he could only have daughters.

I didn't take much just a let push and those Cheese eating surrender monkey (course technical they weren't that at the time) had a full out rebellion and I decided to sit back have a slice of cake and watch as the Bastille was stormed and Louie the 16th had his head cut.

Then off course they kick out they King and bring in someone much worse, Lord Farquaad AKA Napolien. After a a while I decided to send him somewhere out of Europe's hair. I think i sent him to either the Island from Lost, Craggy Island or Treasure Island i'm not sure.

After France I decide to travel around Europe and Asia a little before returning to the New World and it was during this Travel that something great happen. I was traveling around Southern Spain when I came across a village or at least the remains of a village, the entire place had been massacre, destroyed a burnt to the ground and the villagers had been eaten, i think about 3 people survived it.

I went to the Church which was the only building still intact and in there I saw the person who had done this. That radiate, breathtaking, otherworld beauty whose name was forever branded on my heart, Kali.

"Loki, I should have known you'd come, after all wherever their is chaos you go there like bacteria infecting a wound" she said without looking at me instead she was staring intensely at the crucifix on the wall. "Lovely to see you too Kali" I said "So what did this village do to deserve a massacre". "One of the villagers looked at me the wrong way" she replied.

"These Fools, when I attacked came running here praying to their God for help and what happened, they were slaughter like lamb by a real God" she said smiling proudly. "You know there's something that always confused me about Christianity" i said

"Besides the Idea of a single God" she said. "Yeah, see Christian believe that Jesus will come again and if he does don't they think he'll be a little offended by the fact that his follower worship the image of him dying" i asked.

"You speak of this religion as if it was actually true, it can't be true" she said "Why can't it be true after all, there are people who say we don't exist and yet we do" I said.

"If their God did exist and he was as Powerful and Benevelent as they believ he is then he could has stopped me, there for either he doesn't exist, he isn't powerful or he doesn't care" she explained walking over to the stainglass windows, I followed her.

"And these ridiculous creatures as if they could exist" she said refering to the images of Angels and Archangels in the window "Michael the protector of the weak, did he protect these people from my wrath" she said shattering the very andogynous stainglass image of Michael and moved on to the next one.

"Raphael the healer, did he heal all the people i killed" she said before shattering that image(which by the way was the wrong race, why do Christians think everyone in the Bible is white)

"And finally Gabriel the messenger, did he come and warn, these people of their inpending doom" she said shattering the stainglass image of yours truely before turning her attention back to the cross.

I picked up one of the broken piece and looked at it. It was an image of my face. Kali was right, I didn't warn these people of there deaths, but how could, I didn't know. She was right, how could me and my Archangel bretheren be called all powerful when we don't do anything. How can Michael have the title protector of the weak when he's never protected any human from anything, how can Raphael be called a healer when all he does is leave his vessel braindamaged, he a real . I may a killer but a least I care about Humanity unlike my family.

Kali arms where suddenly engulfed in flames and she fireblasted the crucifix. "Where's there Messiah now" she said. In a fit of anger at my useless family I joined her in destroying the Church. I blasted the Bible with Lightning from my hand and said "So much for the Good Book"

We set that entire church on fire and watched it burn and as the flames of the church died the Fire of are love was rekindled.