Appa was making good time on the return trip to the fire nation capital. Aang was sitting on his head, and Toph was in the basket on his back. The two bender hadn't said a word to each other since they leftthe academy. For all of her bravery in facing situations were she herself may die, she was scared of what she was going to see when she met Iroh again. She knew well what death felt like, but she had never felt it coming from someone that she cared about.
Ever since he had retired as fire lord, Iroh had been spending all of his time in Ba sing Sa, At his tea shop, The jasmine dragon. He had started to feel more tired recently, but he didn't tell anyone. The last thing he wanted was to have everyone worrying, and making a fuss over him. He was an old man, and he knew well that his time was coming to an end. He didn't want to have the the time he had left with good health spent with the others worrying that he could take a turn for the worst at any time. All he wanted to do in his final years was to do what he loved to do, and spend time with the people he loved. And that was what he did.
A few days ago he had a dizzy spell. It got worse through out the day till he collapsed that evening. he was looked over by the earth kings healer, who told him he had to rest. Iroh however had other plans, he was very insistent that he leave and return to the fire nation. He knew what was going to happen, he knew his body better than any healer. He wanted to return home. Aang had remained in Ba Sing Sa after the almost wedding, so he offered to take Iroh home, not wanting him to have to endure a long trip on a ship to get there.
Once Iroh had been made comfortable, he asked for Zuko and Aang to gather everyone as soon as they could. Urse was visiting friends in the ember islands, a messenger hawk was sent for her, she wouldn't return for about two days. Two messengers had been sent out together to Kyoshi island and the southern water tribe to get Katara, Sokka and Suki. A third was going to be sent to get Toph, but Aang offered to go and get her, so she would hear the news from a friend. He like Toph was not used to death, and was glad to be able to get away. He was also glad he could give the two firebenders some time alone, he also felt that going to Toph was a way he could start to make everything up to her.
Toph hadn't been on Appa in three years. She had never liked it, she felt blind and vulnerable. This time though she liked it, it gave her thechance to calm herself, gather her strength. She had to be strong for Iroh and Zuko. Aang was feeling the same way, only he was thinking of being strong for Toph. he had been trying to build up his courage to say something, anything. Just something to break the silence. "How dose it feel." he could have kicked himself. What a stupid thing to say to start a conversation. After all the time he had taken to think of the best thing to say, and that was all he could come up with.
"Better than the last time." he didn't know what he was more surprised by, that she had said something back at all, or that she had understood what he was trying to ask. He was asking her how she feltflying on Appa again after so long. Did it feel like old times, or had she chosen to ignore all of that.
He didn't what to push his luck by pushing her to talk more than she wanted to, but he had to at least try to keep the conversation going. His mouth opened to speak, but before any words came out she spoke up. "How sick is he. Really."
Aang turned to his right, where her voice had come from. Toph had moved and was now lowering herself to sit next to him, on top of Appa's head. He didn't take his eyes of her till she was safely seated next to him. Only then did he cast his gaze back in-front of them. He was sure that he could see the coast line of the fire nation now. They were making good time. He really didn't want to answer the question, she would now in an instant if he tried to sugar coat it for her.
Noticing Aang's shock at her movements, and his hesitance to answer her question, Toph thought it best to give an explanation for her actions. "I need to know."
"I don't know exactly, not good." he didn't look at her, he had been avoiding looking at her eyes the whole time. Since he first turned up at the academy, cause he knew that if he looked her in the eyes he would end up saying to much and making her madder at him.
"He's dyeing isn't he." She didn't an answer, his heart gave him away.
The air around them now felt heavy with the rhetorical question, more of a statement really, that now hung in the air. Her hand reached out for his. She needed something to hold onto right now, as the world around her was speeding out of control and she couldn't focus on anything, couldn't see anything. but in the end she couldn't bring herself to reach out to him.
Aang saw her hand move, then stop. He took a deep breath, prepared himself to he hurt, badly. He took her hand in his. He closed his eyes waiting for a painful punch. She didn't pull away, or hold on. She just let him hold her hand. It was more for him in the end than it was for her.
"I have forgiven you, you know. I just cant forget. You just left us."He was hurt. He wanted their friendship back, but this was the best he could hope for at the moment.
Since he returned he had spent most of his time with either Zuko or Katara, and had began to get his friendships with them back. It was hard to be so close to Katara again knowing that he had completely missed his chance to have what he thought he really wanted, and that it was all his own doing. What was the most difficult part about it was the questions that lead from the realisation that he didn't feel as bad about it all as he thought he would, should have. had he been wrong about how strong his feelings for Katara were, if so what else was he wrong about.
He would also have spent more time with Sokka and Suki but they had other things to deal with. Just a few days after the not-wedding it was confirmed that Suki was pregnant with the couples first child. She had give birth not long ago, to a health baby boy named Suten. Who had his fathers deep blue eyes. Suki had worried Sokka that a lot newborns were born with blue eyes, so not to get his hopes up. Sokka regardless remanded certain that he had a blue eyed boy.
Toph was the only one he hadn't seen since he returned. She was also the one that he wanted to make it up to the most. This fact had taken him a little by surprise, he came to the conclusion that she was the one that was the most disappointed in him and he hated that someone that he respected so much felt that way about him and therefor wanted to fix it. It wasn't that Toph was an unforgiving person, she knew that he meant it when he said that he was sorry. It was that her pride had been dented, she let him get her to open up, just a littlee and get close to the band of misfits that became a family, her family. That went against her nature, her way of getting through life. He then broke the trust she had placed in him, that they would all always be close, family. It was going to take a lot to make it up to her, she was after all the most stubborn person he knew, probably in the world.
He held her hand tighter, as Appa began to descend into the grounds of the fire nation palace. This time she returned his grip, but only a little. Aang didn't know if she had been frightened by the sudden, unexpected change of movement, or if she was worried by what she was about see, in her own way. With her unique form of sight, she would see and feel it all more clearly than anyone else ever could.
"I'm here." his voice was low and comforting. Toph for the first time realised that Aang had been changed by the three years he had been away, in the same was as Zuko and Sokka. His voice had broken and he was taller and wider. Aang let himself for the first time in the four years he had know her, really look at Toph. She had defiantly grown up, from the short tomboy in baggy clothes that he first meet. She was pretty, he had always been aware of this, but now is was more obvious. The thing he noticed the most was how lost, how broken she looked. He knew it was going to take a long time to put her back together, to put his family back together.
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