Why don't I miss you?
Tell me what am I supposed to do?
After all the shit that we've been through
I can't feel a thing
Bowling for soup- why don't I miss you?
'Stop looking at me!!!' The only thing I could feel ALL THROUGH BREAK were two hot spots on my right cheek, the feeble symptom of 6 sets of gold eyes boring into the side of your face. I was about two seconds away from walking over to them and ripping their perfect heads off as Emily said,
"So are we all up for the cinemas tonight?" the group groaned but Emily could hardly contain her excitement and was practically jumping up and down in her seat,
"COME ON! It will be fun." a scheming smile slithered its way onto her tiny face, "I'll even invite Edward culle-"
"NO" every one on the table stared at me at his, "I mean he's… probably busy" I heard quiet snickering coming from the 'prick's united' table but brushed it off 'not going to get to me. It's what they want Bella relax',
"Yeah you're right… okay 5 o'clock tonight, empire cinemas. Be there or be square" Emily beamed. We all jumped as the bell rang and we began to gather up our things.
The rest of the day was well school. Long, tedious and pointless. As I was walking out of school, actually dreading the thought of tonight's outing, I realised that today was my first full day at and English school. Oh joy. I pulled my hood tighter around my face shielding myself from the bitter rain when an even colder hand grabbed my arm. I whirled around only to se a very wet looking Robert looking me straight in the eye,
"Bella you have to talk to Edward" I opened my mouth to retaliate but he cut across me, "no Bella I need you to listen. I've never seen Edward so upset and I've know him for along time. When he left you it practically killed him. He wouldn't talk to anyone. He was hardly ever in the house. When we moved here he started to get over it probably because he was away from the memories and I... I thought I'd get my real brother back. when he found you and… it broke his heart when you said those things" he closed is eyes and took in a deep breath, "listen just… just talk to him. Let him know how you feel and LISTEN to what he has to say. Please" I felt my eyes filling up and I tried to blink them away but with no prevail,
"I- I have to g-go" I chocked out and ran for my truck.
Once sat in the driver's seat I fumbled with my keys each time attempting to find the right one and turn on my engine. But my eyes were too fuzzy with tears so I threw my keys to the floor, hugged my steering wheel and let the tears wash over me. 'if he felt this way why did he leave me?' the tears continued to splash onto my grey jeans staining the dull fabric, 'how could he put me through this pain and claim he felt just as bad? He could have come back. He could have never left in the first place' I heard a loud banging on my window that jolted me out of my tears, "are you okay in there? Its just I'm locking the car park now"
"Yeah" I chocked out reaching down to pick up my tossed aside keys stuffed them into the ignition and pulled out of my car parking spot.
When I got home the time was 3:30 and mum wasn't home yet so I ran upstairs, grabbed a couple of the softest towels I could find, snatched up my trusty wash bag and practically ran for the shower knowing the warn soothing water would help my pain. I quickly stripped down and jumped into the shower flicking the water up to full heat. As the water hit my cold skin it seamed to warm my body like drinking hot chocolate on a bitter winter day. All the pain caused by Edwards return was washed away down the plughole along with the healing water.
Once warmed and clean I got out of the shower., wrapped my hair and body in a thick, soft, white towel, brushed my teeth and headed for my room watching the hot steam billow across the hard wooden floor of the landing. I sifted through my wardrobe trying to find something nice to wear to the cinemas. I eventually picked out my skinny denim jeans, black tight t-shirt and Pauls Boutique jumper. Plain and simple, like me.
I got dressed quickly and brushed my hair through leaving it down to dry naturally as I heard mum coming in, "Hiyah love are you okay?" I quickly snatched up my wallet and put all its contents into my purse and replied,
"Yeah I'm gonna go to the cinemas with some friends is that okay?" I bounced downstairs into the dazzlingly clean kitchen to see my mum setting a large box of vegetables onto the counter,
"Yeah, yeah. Its time you found some new friends. Be safe and be back by 10" she then kissed me and I headed for the door.
When I arrived at the cinemas all of my new found friends were there. Emily the bubbly black haired girl, Helena the beautiful blonde hat had all the boys drawling over her, George the handsome mysterious one and Jake the tall muscular red head,
"Bella!!" Emily ran over to me as I ducked out of my truck and hugged me forcefully, "I'm so excited I heard its really romantic." I sighed mentally romantic gussy stuff was going to do my current heart ache wonders!
We paid and went to find a seat in the appropriate screen. The first scene of the film was a couple sat on a beach at sunset wrapped tightly in each others arms kissing passionately. I couldn't stand it, "hey I'm gonna go to the toilet" I whispered to Emily the whole in my chest twinging as the couples kiss excelled,
"But the film just started" I just shrugged and shimmied along the row of kissing couples and exciting the mushy cinema.
Once outside I sat on the nearest fence and hugged my knees close to my aching chest, "Bella?" a soft velvet voice asked. I spun my head around releasing my legs letting them fall to the ground,
"Edward" I gasped watching his figure materialized from behind a bush, "wha-what are you doing here?" his face seemed to be apologetic and worried like he was scared how I would react to his presents,
"I came to apologize for Roberts's behaviour. He had no right to come and talk to you"
"No he didn't and neither do you" I mustered the sternest look I could on my face,
"Bella let me explain you can't stay angry at me forever" I snorted but he just sighed and continued, "let me explain why I left you" he paused examining me as if waiting for my reaction but I just folded my arms and continued glaring at him, "you know full well that all I ever wanted was for you to be safe and happy. That night when jasper attacked you I knew that as long as you were with me you would be in danger." He closed his eyes as if in pain but opened them again unleashing the full power of his golden pupils on me, "I knew I would have to leave to keep you safe so I did. I thought that if I persuaded you that I didn't love you, you would move on. Clean break, you know" he swallowed hard and stepped closer to me practically nose to nose, "it killed me to see you believe me so easily. When I left I spent most of my time away from my family barley even seeing them. I couldn't bare to let them see me in such a vulnerable way. I was literally broken inside bells. I never stopped loving you and I know that you still love me. Bella please." At this my mouth fell slightly ajar, my arms fell to my side and my eyes brimmed with tears. 'How could he tell me this now after all he's done? I can't let myself fall back into his trap. I can't let myself get close to him again because I'll just get hurt. I have to say something to him that will make him just leave. I have to make him believe I don't love him. Like he did to me',
"Bella, please. You have to love me. Please, I know you do" I stood up straight my tears pouring down my face my eyes closed with the effort to form words strong enough to express my point,
"Then why don't I miss you?"
Hiyah guys!!! Again sorry or the late ness but I have been busy and I'm trying my hardest.
Okay…well don't kill me but I'm going to have to ask you to….giveme5reveiwsbeforeiupdatenext!... sorry but I do feel really cheeky… Okay I said can you please give me 5 reviews before I update my next chappy? I know it's mean but please!!!???
Here is a little glimpse of the next chapter:
"I'm so glad your back bel- WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU WEARING?!?!?!?!"
Interested? I know I am hahaha
See you soon oh and don't be afraid to like email me or something I don't bite AND IT'S FUN :P
P . P . G . XXX