Arrhythmia
By destroy
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Part. V

A warm circle of light on the ceiling resembled the sun. When I had stared at it long enough I could see the reflection of the many lost summers to pass me by.

Outside of here, the midnight showers would be falling; spitting its seedless kiss of many flowers that would soon bloom. The crisp scent of the evening rain should be infiltrating my senses and lulling me to sleep.

But that was all so far away.

Instead, daffodils would line the atrium of my home which will soon be overgrown and worthless due to my missing status. Here, the rain would never find us and Silent Hill would never be washed away.

The heat of the light withdrew from the walls and my skin; I realized that my false morning sun was only my flashlight on the nightstand serving as a mock lantern.

-

It was stifling in here. I traced the corroded wooden floorboards with my gloved fingertips, but the act only seemed to transcend heat through my hands and into my heart. I had long since given up full use of the mattress to Rose who lay on her side, arms hanging from the bed, parallel to the ground. She had removed her soiled cardigan and placed it against the pillow top, her filth more sacred than that of this room.

I grew sick when I tried to envision anyone else who might've wandered with the same ideas that we had. They only collapsed in their own insanity and retired in the streets. They were the haze of this town.
No, that was ridiculous. Still, the thought of their deaden smiles brought my knees up to my chest and a chill that crawled down my spine like a spider.

I glanced at Rose and imagined her skin slowly dissipating into the mist, most likely joining Sharon, their embrace kissing me with the cold and leaving me shivering in the dark. Though rejoined, that only made me feel worse.

-

I couldn't separate my emotions for her or understand why my remembrance of the alley made my heart pound hard beneath my chest. I only assumed that my centuries of affliction left me as shaken and charred as the city and she caught me off guard. With each look, it was harder to chase the sentiment away. This feeling of longing had thrown my stomach into knots that kept tightening and tugging until I would be ripped apart; I desperately wanted to return to the person I used to be.

I looked away when our eyes met.

-

The laces of my boot swelled open as I slowly loosened them. The pressures of my sore joints were immediately alleviated. I continued on to the next foot.

"I wonder what Chris is doing."

Her voice startled me out of the shadows. His name knocked the sense into me that I had been neglecting. I had forgotten that this woman belonged to a family which I was to protect and serve.

"…Chris is your husband?"

She nodded.

The conversation was out of convenience or guilt. They were unimaginative tales of Sharon's 1st birthday or her need for compassion from him. She couldn't reiterate strongly enough of how she would do things differently when her time comes to escape. She would notice this time when he wasn't in the room. She would hold his hand when he held hers. Their laughter would once again bring about the rise and fall of the sun.

I began to drift as to how I would perceive things if we escaped, but my ambition was in the uniform I wore. I couldn't imagine much of a difference of my past life versus the future me. I would still return to the same house. I would look out the same window every night and wonder what would become of me and more importantly what has become of her.

-

I had been going about everything in the worst way. I ventured into Silent Hill on the wrong foot and couldn't find the reassuring side of me. Cybil Bennett wasn't here. She resided somewhere in Brahams, never to seek out her missing core. Sweat began to trickle down the sides of my face. I forced out a smile to Rose, a soothing lie that brought a taste in my mouth that I couldn't rid of. It was building up in the back of my teeth so much that I was forced to swallow it down before I choked.

"I'm sure your husband is thinking of you right now."

She smiled at the thought and sat up from the bed. She once again began stroking the locket around her neck, fondly. It was only a matter of time until she would be home again. In her head, everything was going to be alright.

"I just want to go home." She began. "I've never felt so wrong."

She began to weep convulsively as the charm dropped from her fingers and bounced against her chest. I started to think that by now her tears would be expected, I could sit quietly and await her next collapse. I couldn't just watch her this time, I tried to occupy my thoughts with other pleasant things but she overpowered it all.

I stood from my spot and retook my seat beside her. I sat there unknowingly as she buried her face in her hands, her dizzying tears dripping off her face and onto her thighs.

"Rose…"

I drew her hands away from her face, crimson and swollen with anguish. Removing my gloves, I carefully ran my fingertips across her delicate wet cheeks, the hurt immediately seeping into me; I wistfully caught each new tear. The darkness of the room only showed small portions of her; I could see her watching me. She pushed my hands away and came in for a tight embrace. Her arms rolled around me. Her fingers squeezed and pinched at the flesh of my shoulder blades, fingernails leaving a sad impression on my shirt. I could feel her moist eyelashes batting against my neck, her lips modestly quivering against my collarbone.

I closed my eyes and sighed deeply.

This is where I wanted to be.

The strands of her hair twisted between my fingers as my hand traveled from her head and slowly down her back. I became lost in the moment, fumbling towards a light that resembled my proverbial heaven. The turning and groping of each other's flesh was like a sunny day. I continued to wander farther and aimlessly into the clear that quickly withdrew when she spoke.

"Who will you be returning home to?"

My arms froze around her body. I didn't respond. The question brought a bloodied heat throughout my face. I felt ashamed and embarrassed that I didn't have an extravagant story to share. I didn't want to speak of visiting my mother's grave or the fact that I hadn't been touched in years. She rested on me awaiting my response. A small tinge of bravery grew throughout me and I gained relief in rejection rather than the truth. Perhaps tomorrow my shame will have vanquished with our souls.

Trembling, I titled her chin until our lips were horizontal. I took a deep breath and moved in cautiously until the affirmation was expelled with the salted chapped taste of Rose. She pulled away quickly, her breath still on me.

"Cybil, I…"

No.

I kept my place, eyes still closed. I was thankful for the shadows we sat in. The nausea welled up worse inside of me; on the verge of tears I tried my hardest to hold it in. I couldn't pray for much else but for the sirens to sound in the distance. My death would only protect me from me. I released my clutch on her face and solemnly collected my gloves. There wasn't much else to hope for; I wanted to wander the streets away from her, far from emotion. My feeling of salvation from pride had disappeared. I couldn't even cope for the sake of myself.

I was only about to stand up from my seat when I felt it. She came back in. Her mouth mashed slightly against mine, the tender pucker squeezing my bottom lip between hers. There could be no better truth to the fact of how she made me feel. This was actually happening.

Rose. What have you done to me?

I pressed back onto her, lungs contracting and heart pumping feverishly.

-
A/n – Reviews are always appreciated. Part VI to be added shortly.