Chapter 31) Almost
Selected Listening: Passenger Seat- Death Cab for Cutie
When Anastasia finally gave up from exhaustion, she retransformed and turned to find Snape coming down the slope. She waved both arms. He saw her and turned in her direction.
"P-Petter Pettigrew—" was all she could say and pointed at the thicket.
"Fantastic! Black confunded you. Where are the others?" he demanded angrily.
"I-I'm not—" she started, but a great glowing light appeared in the forest beyond. "Harry! Hermione!" she yelled and ran towards the light. Snape grabbed the hood of her cloak and drug her back.
"Do you not remember what happened the last time you encountered the dementors? Stay put, at least for Malfoy's benefit, if not your own."
Snape ran towards the light, but Anastasia trailed behind him at a long distance. She felt like she was stumbling through the strangest dream. It was certainly the weirdest day of her life thus far…and compared to everything that happened in the rest of her life, that was rather impressive.
When she reached the same point Snape had, he was standing over the bodies of Sirius, Harry, and Hermione by a small pond in the forest.
"No!" Anastasia cried. Snape turned and rolled his eyes.
"They're alive. If you're not going to follow directions, at least help carry the bodies. The spell is levicorpus—" Snape pointed his wand at Harry, and he rose gently off the ground. Anastasia snapped at him for his terminology but did the same for Hermione. For Sirius, Snape cast the same spell as the man had recently cast on him, and Sirius's body bobbed along behind them up the slope.
As they walked in near silence back up the hill to the castle, she wanted to explain what had happened to Snape, but she found that she didn't have the words to protest. They picked up Ron on the way, and he limped alongside her, one arm over her shoulders. Ron stunk, they both did, with dirt and grease, and their bangs matted to their heads. It had been an awful night.
"Thanks for standing in front of me, Anastasia…you know, when we thought Black was the evil one…" Ron muttered so only she could hear.
"You're welcome. That's what friends are for."
Ron nodded and swallowed.
"Yeah…to protect you when your rat turns out to be a creep of a man…"
When they reached the front entrance, Albus was just saying goodbye to the minister and his executioner at the same time Draco was running down the staircase with Minerva.
"Oh, my heavens!" Minerva shouted at the sight of Sirius Black. McGonagall caught Draco by the shoulder and held him back from the Minister's view. In the shadows, Anastasia could see that his left eye was now turning blue and purple with a bruise.
"My word, Severus? What's happened?" Albus gaped. "Anastasia?"
"Sirius Black!" Cornelius Fudge exclaimed at the floating body of the criminal. "He must be put away this instant! Why didn't the dementors perform the kiss already?"
"H-he's innocent!" Anastasia yelped.
"She doesn't know what she's talking about, she was confunded—" Snape said.
"I'm not!" she yelled. "Sirius Black is innocent, and Peter Pettigrew escaped and—" Draco stumbled further down, one hand over his face, and spoke up.
"She's not, because—" Draco didn't finish his sentence. He couldn't say, if she were confused, I would be too.
"Well, no matter, he must be visited by the dementors—" Fudge decided.
"Peter Pettigrew has escaped and he's going to help Voldemort come back!" Anastasia shouted. "He's out there in the forest now! He's a rat animagus!"
"She's telling the truth!" Ron added.
"My word, headmaster, we must get your daughter to the infirmary immediately. All these children," Cornelius bumbled.
Albus gazed at Anastasia, hearing the words he'd been dreading for a lifetime.
"I'll let Minerva and Severus lead that effort while I tend to our prisoner…pip pip," he said, and took Sirius with his own spell without taking his eyes off his daughter.
Minerva took Hermione's form and looked for Anastasia to follow. She stared solemnly at Draco. Again, he had that look, the same one he had in Hogsmeade and after the holidays and at Easter, that look of wanting to do something more, but not being able to move. Instead, he raised his hand low in greeting as Minerva gently tugged her away by the elbow.
She followed Fudge and Snape all the way up the stairs, hearing Snape brag about his valiance in the face of a criminal and disparaging Lupin for his dangerous transformation. In fact, he was "Still running loose" in the forest. Minerva looked to Anastasia in fret.
"It wasn't Lupin's fault," Anastasia muttered, "if we hadn't been out of the castle, if he hadn't seen Pettigrew's name on the map, he would have taken his potion like normal."
"A werewolf is a werewolf," Fudge decided, "they have no respect for our kind, and they have no place in a school…no this will have to be dealt with—"
Snape grinned as if he learned he was just made Minister of Magic himself.
"You don't know what you're talking about!" Anastasia shouted. Fudge turned in surprise at her disrespect.
"That's enough," Minerva said, patting her shoulder, "that's enough, Anastasia. Please hold your tongue until Madame Pomfrey can assess you. There's no need to make things worse."
In the infirmary, Ron was placed on a cot with his injured leg. Hermione and Harry were revived, and all three teens were checked for confundedness and cleared. They argued about Black's innocence and made disgusted faces as Fudge planned to reward Snape for his heroism.
And as this continued, Albus Dumbledore arrived.
"Minister, the prisoner has been secured in the southmost tower. He is ready when you are. The rest of you, will you please give me time to speak with the students…I realize there is much distress."
Snape happily bustled off behind the Minister to watch the sentence. Minerva and Madam Pomfrey looked worriedly at each other as they closed the door.
The children tried to convince Albus that Sirius Black was innocent. He suggested that they needed more time and looked meaningfully to Hermione. She jumped up from her cot as soon as she heard the instructions. Harry looked at her befuddled, but Anastasia already knew and rose to join them.
Albus grabbed her arm.
"Anastasia…I would prefer if you stayed, and we had a conversation."
Anastasia looked longingly at her friends, whose lives she feared for.
"But I can go back and stop—"
"That's exactly why you should stay back…you are quite shaken…and acting on shaken nerves is not the best way to make change."
"I thought you were going to respect my choices from now on," she countered.
"The chain is only big enough for two," he implored, "Miss Granger knows how to work the instrument, and Mr. Potter has a rescue mission to complete…we cannot win everything."
Anastasia felt the fires of injustice roar within her, but she followed her father out the door, away from her confused friends, and all the way back to the headmaster's suite.
Anastasia waited in the chair across her father's desk while Albus finished entertaining the minister. He returned with a bemused smile and settled into the chair across from her.
"All is well. Sirius Black has escaped with Buckbeak, and your friends have returned safely to the infirmary for the evening," he said, settling back into his chair. "Cornelius is baffled, and Severus is furious, I'm afraid, but he will overcome his tantrum in time."
"But Pettigrew escaped into the forest. Who knows where he'll go? He might find Voldemort-"
"Ah, so you are finally admitting that there is a possibility of his return." Albus said. Anastasia stared at him blankly.
"I didn't believe it until tonight. Until I saw those four men fighting over everything that happened before. Is it really true? Can he really return?"
Albus nodded.
"He can…and I don't mean to upset you further, but what you've told me of Pettigrew only means that we must increase protections for ourselves and the school—"
"Then let me go after him! In your memory, you said I was part of this whole prophecy about those born who can stop Voldemort…" she asserted.
"Ah, I said you were almost part of the prophecy…and tonight you almost stopped Pettigrew from escaping."
"So that's just it…I'll keep almost succeeding but never actually helping? Is that why you won't let me go back?"
Albus gazed at her solemnly. She felt her hopes fade.
"I predict that if I let you use the time turner, you would run after him, almost succeeding again, and then you would ask me again, and you'd keep trying in an endless loop, only to never stop Pettigrew, and creating too much chaos in the timeline that couldn't be undone. We have already succeeded twice over tonight…let it be."
"But if Pettigrew said if Voldemort comes back, I'd be captured and tortured if I don't join their side. And I won't join their side, I'd refuse, and the I'd be screwed and Draco would be…" she didn't even know what would become of them, or how Lucius Malfoy's previous involvement with Voldemort would affect them.
"My girl, it is my goal that it never comes to be. Which is why I have done my best to teach you the tools you need to defend yourself…it is why I pressed the animagus training, despite its danger and the legal complications," he replied calmly.
"They know. Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Plus four others already—Lupin, Black, Snape, and Pettigrew! Snape could rat me out to the minister tomorrow out of spite and—"
"Professor Snape doesn't know," Albus said simply.
"What?" Anastasia asked, bewildered.
"He thinks you failed the night the dementors attacked…unless he saw you transform tonight, he poses you no harm. To expose your secret, Black would have to place himself in danger of being arrested again. Lupin has too many of his own problems, and too good of a heart, to worry about having you sent to Azkaban.
"Oh…" Anastasia drifted off, "but Pettigrew, he knows, he could—"
Still, Albus shook his head without worry.
"The world thinks Pettigrew dead, and he wants to keep it that way. Of course, it's unfortunate that he has the information, especially if he were to succeed in resurrecting Voldemort. But something like that won't occur overnight…it will take much time for Voldemort to gather everything he needs to return to his physical form, and by that time, should it come, a little witch with the ability to turn into a fox will be an afterthought."
"But he knows about the lifeline too, he overhead us talking at Hagrid's and—"
"Now that…" Albus nodded, "…could pose a problem. But for now, as I said, there's no use in worrying. I have a plan for the coming school year, an old friend of mine who I think I can convince to be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher—"
"But what about Professor Lupin?" she asked frantically.
"Professor Lupin will resign. If he were to try and stay, it would only cause more trouble for him in the papers—you know how that goes—and the school board would simply vote him out. As disappointing as that is, the person I have in mind will be an excellent fit."
Anastasia stared at her father, unsure of what to say next. So much bad had happened, but now Albus seemed perfectly fine with all the news she had delivered. Still, she felt so guilty.
She remembered Snape's words to her in the Shrieking Shack when they were trying to convince him listen to the truth.
How dare you tell me to listen! The insolent girl who is always launching herself into danger without listening! Sustaining life-threatening injuries to save Potter at the quidditch game, continuing to pursue your illegal animagus even though I warned you of the consequences, enticing a classmate to run away at the cost of his memories—you're entitled, living with so little consequence that you can't even see the danger you put others in…
"Grandad—" Anastasia said, somehow feeling that everything that happened that night was somehow her fault, "is it true that I jump into things with no regard for others? Professor Snape said I put people in danger—"
Albus had stood and placed his hands on her shoulders.
"You jump into things for the sake of others. You interrupted the quidditch game in November to save Harry's life. You completed one of the most challenging forms of magic and prepared to run away to save a friend from his rather dreadful family. You ran after a criminal to prevent further harm from coming to our world…
"Of course, you jump into things…but you do it for the good of everyone…that's what makes a Gryffindor a Gryffindor. Last time I checked, Severus was not a fantastic judge of bravery..."
Anastasia let the feeling sit with her, her stomach sick, her head cloudy with the tumult of the evening.
"Have peace, my child," he rested his palm on her forehead, and a cool wave came over her body. She wavered. Albus summoned two throw blankets from their suite upstairs. He gave one to her and walked to the office door with the other.
"Where are you going?" she asked.
"My dear, it is nearly dawn," he said, and looked towards the pink and blue hues breaking over the grounds through their window. "And someone will need to meet Professor Lupin at the entrance with something to preserve his modesty."
Anastasia sank back down to the chair. She hadn't the energy to ascend the stairs to shower. Fawkes flew to the arm of the seat and began tearing up over the cuts in her hand and face and the light bruise on her right eye.
The next morning at breakfast, there was a flurry of attention around Harry and the knowledge that they met the most dangerous wizard alive, and that he still escaped after being captured, and that their favorite teacher turned out to be a werewolf. After covering most of the information and questions with their peers, Anastasia found herself sinking into the background once more.
She was unsurprised to find a paper dragon climbing onto the bench beside her.
The dragon unfolded itself into another sloppily written note.
Meet me at the library at ten. Back table.
Usually, the day after finals was filled with jokes, games, and play. There was a trip to Hogsmeade scheduled, and nearly everyone planned to go. The library was the last place anyone would choose to be. Which made it incredibly perfect for the two to meet.
Anastasia excused herself from her friends at nine forty-five with the reasoning that she had to see the headmaster. She arrived at the table, tucked away close to the restricted section, early, and sat with the book of pureblood inheritance law, looking for Draco's notes that might assist her in the upcoming trial.
Soon not one, but two sets of footsteps approached.
"Pansy, stop!" Draco whispered quite loudly…as if he intended someone else to hear.
Anastasia closed her book as quickly as possible and ducked behind the nearest shelf.
"I don't understand. Why won't you go to Honeydukes with me?"
"I don't like you, Pansy. I never have. We're just friends—"
"Friends can go to Honeydukes together."
"I don't want to go to Hogsmeade! I want to be alone."
"But we can find a way to get back at Granger for that eye—"
"I don't want to Pansy. Leave."
Pansy began shouting at him, telling him how much he owed her for being there for him all the time, and how he never did anything for her. Madam Pince arrived swiftly and kicked her out, threatening detention.
Draco let out a deep breath and finally settled at their table.
Anastasia emerged and sat down at the opposite corner so she was far enough out of his sight, but she still looked up at him, his expression haggard.
"That was pretty brutal," she said gently.
Draco didn't respond at first, keeping very still. Finally, he reached into his bag. She expected him to get out a piece of parchment and begin writing. Instead, he opened one of his potions textbooks, stared at a page, and blocked his eyes from her view, but he spoke aloud.
"She's been after me all year. It's exhausting."
"Is it okay if we talk like this?" she asked. "Your father won't find out?"
"As long as I don't look at you," he responded. "I've gotten good enough at occlumency to block out little things. Should be good enough for the summer."
Anastasia stilled as she tried very hard not to think about what Sirius Black told her about Lucius Malfoy. Draco continued.
"Now what the bloody hell happened last night? Did you lot go on a stroll and just happened to find my deranged cousin?"
Anastasia wasn't sure if she could explain the whole thing.
"Short story is that Black is innocent, and the man who's guilty is running around the Forbidden Forest as a rat now." She purposely left out the part about Pettigrew trying to bring Voldemort back from the dead. They had enough to worry about at the moment.
Draco's stared fixatedly at the bookcase in front of him.
"Well, that's interesting…" he drifted off, "…and why's my eye healed so quickly? I haven't been to the infirmary yet—"
"Fawkes," she said. "Grandad's phoenix."
"Your father keeps a phoenix as a pet? Like a cat?"
"Well, yes…it's sort of a family ward."
Draco let out a low whistle.
"Did you and your friends enjoy yourselves at Buckbeak's execution yesterday?" Anastasia snapped, not realizing this had been bothering her until that very moment. "Was the thought that you killed an innocent creature not enough? You had to see it too?"
Draco ground his teeth.
"I didn't realize you would be there. I needed a distraction."
"A distraction? What a lovely thing to distract yourself with," she continued bitingly.
"It wasn't for me! It was for them…they wouldn't stop laughing about my botched exam earlier…it's awful. They keep asking me what the boggart turned into—"
Anastasia looked to him expectantly. She wanted so badly to ask.
Draco turned toward the wall and lowered his face into his hands. His whole body shuddered as if he were fighting something deep within him. Now she understood. If his friends were laughing at Buckbeak, they couldn't be laughing at him.
"Anastasia, how did you forgive him?" he asked.
"Who?"
"Your father. How did you forgive him after everything he did to you? He locked you in a bloody room for ten years. How did you forgive him?"
Anastasia stared at Draco's shoulder and realized he felt the same infinite sadness that she had encountered the month before.
"Because I know he was trying his best…and he promised things would be different. I don't know for sure yet…but I have to try…I can't trust the Cambridges."
Draco rubbed his face and nodded, resting his arms on his knees.
"You can't let them win."
"But Draco, I don't have any say—"
"If they win, my father wins too. I want to show him that he can't control everything, especially not you."
Anastasia quieted at his show of emotion. She stared at the cover of the book he had returned to her, and opened to the page where he took his notes.
"You underlined something in the book you gave back…it says a line of guardianship can only be decided by the child's biological parents at the appointment of predestiny. Why does that matter?" she asked.
Draco frowned in thought. He ruffled his hair with one hand and leaned back in his seat.
"I'm not sure…I took all those notes before Snape wiped my memory, but if I wrote it…it must have been important…I'll tell you if I remember."
Anastasia stood and pushed her chair in. The others were waiting for her at The Three Broomsticks for lunch.
"Well, thank you. Anyway, I've got to get going…see you soon? Or at least, almost-see-you soon?" she said, pausing, hoping.
"Almost-see-you…soon," he replied softly.