You all have no idea how much I've missed this site. Serious writers block, a job...everything just got jam-packed after winter break. Sorry, Nickel and Kelsey, but I had to get this out there.

All right, so you can kill me, beat me up...later. First a bit of business. While Nickel and I have remained in contact, Kelsey hasn't...as much. She'll still remain in the series--we won't kill her off and you haven't heard the last of her. But our editing may be a little wacko for a while.

Second, Power of a Purse is more than likely NOT going to be continued. As far as I know, the manuscript has disappeared. I'd make the rest of it up, but I had no hand in it and the writing styles would change and, frankly, I have enough on my plate right now. But I haven't been fair to you readers. So from now on, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights will be devoted to trying to create more chapters for the stories y'all have been curteous enough to follow. Plus, your reviews'll help my ego. :D Jk, jk.

Third, ya'll don't know how much your reviews and this site lifts my spirit. I've been having serious boy and parents problems, aside from schedule issues. Fanfiction is such a great way for me to vent and get out some feelings by laughing at how characters take on their own personalities and do whatever they want to do to make you laugh.

Enough rambling and touchy, feely stuff. You all are here for the story, and you shall have it...otherwise higher beings than I shall fire me, and I'm very comfortable here at the multi-book disclaimer travel agency. ;) So from all of us here at MBDTA, thank you and enjoy.

Disclaimer--We don't own any of the companies we mention below, nor Tolkien's works.

It Begins...with Burgers?

Mandy's PoV

"Are they here yet?" I hissed, peeking out from behind Legolas. Nickel groaned.

"Do you see any torches, smell anything horrible, or hear clashing and banging?"

"…No…"

"Then they aren't here yet."

"I don't get it." Kelsey leaned against the wall and slid to the floor, letting her sword fall to the ground along with her bag (which we converted to a backpack thanks to Gandalf).

"The sun's down, and we haven't seen hide nor hair of them yet!"

"Why would we want to see an orc's hide?" I asked, frowning. "Like, a behind? Ewww!" Nickel smacked my head. "Ow!"

"I meant we haven't seen them yet." Kelsey said, rubbing her forehead. Ernie, smirked, swinging his glowing sword for practice.

"Then they aren't coming?" I asked hopefully. Kelsey rolled her eyes and Nickel smacked me…again.

"What?!" I demanded. "Is it Hit Mandy Day or something?" (A real holiday at my school, btw. Happens 365, 24/7 by Nickel.) Nickel shrugged.

"I could arrange that." She snickered, but my wonderful elf pulled a dagger on her.

"I would like to see you try." A catfight almost broke out, but Aragorn stepped up.

"There is enough fighting in this world without you two creating a commotion each time the other opens their mouth." He snapped, and Nicole let her sword drop.

"Fun-sucker." She breathed heatedly, turning away. "When are they going to get here?" She asked, tapping her fingers on the stone wall. In the distance, a light flickered, I frowned. "It's been—"

"Oh my god!" I shrieked, jumping behind Legolas again. Hey, I'll take any reason to leap behind him, 'cause the guy looked fine from behind…you know you look too, don't laugh! Or not…if you're Nickel... "There's something out there!"

"Where?" Nickel straightened and pulled out a telescope-like thing, but it jammed. As she wrestled with it, Legolas pulled out one similar to it, but bigger. Nickel scowled and threw hers down, which I'm sure hit someone. (Anyone seen PotC 3? Sound familar?)

"Those lights!" I whispered, peeking out from behind Legolas and pointing. "See?!?!" Suddenly, creepy, tall, broad, ugly, fat, sneering, horrendous, spiteful, evil orcs appeared, marching, and screeching, and bellowing, and belching. Ernie looked down and threw a rock that hit the same guy Nickel's telescope hit.

Kelsey stood up and looked out. "Oh, that doesn't look too bad." She said. I stared at her and she lazily got to her feet.

"Are you crazy?!" I hissed. "Not too bad?! They're marching right at us! Those creepy, tall, broad, ugly, fat, sneering, horrendous, spiteful, evil—"

"We get the picture." Nickel snapped, and hit me again. I scowled, and hid behind Leggy again.

"Hola, Uruk-hai!" Kelsey voice suddenly boomed over all of Helm's Deep. I looked out to see her hoisting an amplifier in the air and yelling into a microphone. It was amusing to notice that none of the elves were moving to stop her, but personally I think they were scared of it themselves.

"Uh…Kelsey?" Nickel asked. "What are you doing?"

"Being nice."

"…Oh…"

"Anyway," Kelsey faced the Uruk-hai. "Greetings, dumbos! Do you know how late you are? Where in Middle Earth have you been?" There was a short silence.

"McDonalds!" One lone orc shouted before they all held up their burgers.

"McDonalds McDonalds!" They all chanted. Nickel, Kelsey and I all shared a look.

"Legolas," I asked soberly, trying to be serious. "Did you know about this?" His face was grim.

"Yes." He answered, just as sober. "Sauron's been using the fast food industry to build up his power in the different realms of Middle Earth." I snorted.

"They've invented fast-food in Middle Earth, and they still don't have flushable toilets?"

"Mandy, flushable is not a word."

"So? You know what I mean!" I took a deep breath, ready for a rant. " What the heck is he planning to do with fast food anyway? 'Oh, I am Sauron. I think I'll build fast food places to make the people of Middle Earth, and my minions, FAT! After all, if two worlds can be bridged, why not take the stupidest thing Earth ever came up with. Never mind the nuclear weapons and firearms. With fast food, who can stop me now?'" The others stared at me for a second after my imitations (which, I don't think were very bad. I made Sauron sound like Robin Williams) before Nickel and Kelsey burst out laughing, rolling on the ground with tears falling from their eyes.

Extremely pleased with myself, I tugged the microphone from Kelsey and waved to the crowd. Oddly, the orcs reminded me of the audience at my fifth grade talent show—ugly, smelly, and very noisy.

"So what's Sauron gonna do with fast food? Make you all fatter than you are? Don't you all ever think of salads? Or do you just order the Big Mac meal with the toy to go?" There was a silence. I was waiting for the drums that always go bada, shing! when a joke is said. Instead, an arrow, whizzed by my ear and almost struck my elf.

"Leggy!" I screamed, and leapt at him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"That's it!" Kelsey snapped. "You're going down, buster!"

"Um, I think you mean Wuster." One orc piped up. "Buster's still ordering his Big Mac." Kelsey just stared.

"What the heck?" Nickel muttered, still recovering from laughing, her arm slung around Ernie for support. Kelsey rolled her eyes.

"You're going down, Wuster!" She bellowed, chucking the mike and amplifier at the orcs.

"Run away!"

"Don't let it touch you!"

"It's the spawn of Morgoth!"

"I have a kid?" Ernie asked, confused. "But I never had—"

"Ernie, shut up."

"But he said 'spawn of Morgoth'. I'm Morgoth, where's my kid?" The entire valley was silent.

"Ernie, get down." Nickel snapped.

"But—"

"Now!" She pushed him down.

"Hey Nickel?" I asked.

"What?"

"Chicken butt!"

And so the battle for Middle Earth continues...probably after I get an earful from Nickel. I'll tell you right now, I hate writing fighting scenes, but Nickel has written most of Helm's Deep and it's crazy and hard to read (yes, I can read your handwriting Nickel...when you turn it sideways...), but looks like another MBDTA classic fight scene, with little fighting from me and lots from Nickel and Kelsey.

Make my boss happy and click the little review button. Then I won't get fired. :D R&R, readers!