Sooooo. I did not plan things to go this way….my imagination just got better of me. But don't worry, if my brain decides to stay on the trail, we should have some real fun soon enough. Muahahahahahhahahahahah cough, cough, cough, choke.

Disclaimer: nopsis

„Namie, may I come in?"

Izaya lightly knocked on the door waiting for an answer. There was none, so he cracked the door open and looked inside.

"Namie?"

Namie was lying on her bed, asleep, tears dried on her cheeks. Her black hair was spreading around her like an aura in the whiteness of the sheets. Her face was sad, filled with tears and pain. A sad face on a fallen angel. He loved her. He loved her with all his heart. He always loved her, ever since he first saw her. But that was childish love. Love built out of need to feel love. This was different. It felt different. And he realized it right then, while he was standing at her door, watching her sleep. He realized that he truly loved her. That he without a doubt loved that angel that somehow found her way to earth.

But.

He also realized she could never love him, not like he loved her. Yes, she cared for him. But that was sympathetic love, pity love. That was the love somebody would have towards their dog or cat. She could never feel the real thing towards him. He was just a pet. Just a very loyal pet. He could barely imagine being labeled as her friend, let alone something more. Namie did treat him like a friend, but Seiji and her uncle always made sure that he would remember where his place really was. It didn't matter that Namie thought of him as a real human being, he was still just a pet.

Just a pet…

He felt hurt. He felt hurt for the first time, realizing that he is in the same category as dogs. It never hurt before. Before he had his blinding and irrational love to protect him from seeing. But something happened today. Something happened and it purified his love. Making it real. Not man-made. Real. But, it also made him painfully aware of his situation. He was a pet, a slave, a lapdog. Something that could easily be disposed of if needed. They could do what ever they wanted to him. There was nothing there to stop them. They could hurt him, torture him, or even kill him. He had no say in his own life.

That thought scared him. What scared him even more was the fact that he was never aware of this before. He felt tears come to his eyes, but he wiped them back. He didn't want to cry again. He cried a lot, he did indeed, and he wanted to at least one time in his life beat the tears back. He wanted to have control for once. At least control over his tears. It wasn't fair. Why couldn't he get control for at least one bit of his life? Fine he was a slave, and he will be a slave for the rest of his life, but couldn't he at least have one little thing he could control? Just one little thing that would prevent this sickening feeling in his stomach.

Apparently not.

For his tears broke out and he found himself on the floor once again, sobbing quietly to himself. Quietly so he wouldn't wake Namie. Namie his love, his life, his sun…his master. He couldn't put those two pieces of the puzzle together. Why would Namie who was always so nice to him, do something like this. Why would she trap him? Why would she enslave him? Turn him into an obedient little dog, a puppet, a marionette. Why? And why did he still love her, even after all of this.

"You know, Izaya, my uncle used to bring me all kinds of dolls."

A quiet entrancing voice of a seven-year old girl dashed through his memories.

"They were pretty, but I never really liked them. They were just boring." Little girl said playing with smaller boy's hair.

The boy's eyes were glazed with pleasure at the feeling of the girl's fingers in his hair. A small raven headed boy with glazed eyes, listening to his…master.

"But you're not boring, Izaya. You are different the all those other dolls. And I like that. I like you Izaya."

"I love you Namie." The boy whispered, true to his every word.

Love is such a strong word for a five-year old boy.

The girl smiled, hugging the boy closer, the boy sighed happily nesting in her arms.

"I know you do Izaya. You are a good boy, you are mine good boy. Isn't that right?"

"That's right." The boy whispered, "I'm your good boy, your forever."

"Izaya, would you do anything for me?"

The boy lifted his head up, his red eyes filled with love, love bigger then anything.

"Whatever you wish for Namie."

The girl smiled.

"Good boy, Izaya."

Izaya gasped as the memory overwhelmed his mind. Was…was Namie just using him this whole time. No that can't be true. Namie loved him, not like he loved her, but still. She loved him, and protected him, and hugged him, and comforted him. Why would she be playing with his emotions like this? But why did she treat him that way when he was little? He didn't remember a lot about his early childhood, but he knew that Namie didn't treat him like that, like…like a puppet in a very long time. She treated him like a friend now. Well at least he thought that was how friends were treated. But what did he know? Nothing. He knew nothing. Namie's uncle made sure that Izaya stayed oblivious to his situation. And even if Namie did treat him like a friend now, what changed? What made her change her opinions on him? What made her start treating him more like a person and less like a toy?

There where so many questions and no answers at all. He cried out of fear and out of confusion. He cried there, curled up on the floor, because that's where he belonged. Seiji told him that. He told him that disgusting, little, bastards like him, belonged on the floor, where the dogs slept.

"You are a loyal little dog, aren't you Izaya? You would do anything for my sister. Die for her too, if necessary. Am I right? Of course I am. You disgust me. You are a filthy stupid dog that can't think for himself. And you dare to think that my sister would actually care for you?! You are so pathetic; you are just her pet and nothing more. You claim to love her, but you don't even know what love truly is. And you'll never know, that's how pathetic you are."

But Seiji was wrong, right? Namie did care for him, and Izaya did know how love really felt. Love hurt. Love really hurt. It was beautiful and painful at the same time. Love was the reason he was who he was. It was love that enslaved him. And…he was always fine with that. He never needed freedom as long as he had Namie's love. He loved Namie, right? Yes, yes he did, he loved her with all his heart. He loved her more than anything else in the world. And if he needs to be a slave to love her, then so be it.

He'll be a good slave, an obedient little pet.

Good boy, good Izaya.

"Izaya, are you okay?"

His head shot up to meet Namie's worried and sad eyes. Her hair was a bit messy from sleep and her eyes were red with tears. But to him she was still beautiful. To him, she was still an angel. That angel hugged him tightly, laying her head on his shoulder as tears streamed down.

"Izaya are you okay? What did he do to you? I'm sorry Izaya."

And there it was again. Another one of his masters apologized to him. He didn't like that. He wasn't used too that. He was the one who did the apologizing. He was the one who would cry in pain and take the punishments. He was the one they could lash out on when they felt angry or sad, or when the world seemed unfair to them. They shouldn't apologize to him. Even if the one small part of his mind appreciated the apology, most of him, that submissive part, that part that was taught to be a pet, just screamed for it to stop.

"Don't apologize to me Namie. I'm not worth it. I'm not worth you apologies, I'm not worth your tears."

"Izaya, stop that." She pushed away from him and looked him sternly in the eyes.

"But I…."

"No, no Izaya. I don't want to hear another word of it. I don't want to listen to you bad-talk yourself. You are worth it Izaya. I want you to remember that, you are worth it."

He closed his eyes in relief. Namie wasn't using him. At least it didn't seem that way. She really cared for him. She wanted him to accept himself the way he was, she wanted him to think good about himself.

"I know I treated you badly Izaya. And I'm sorry. I really am. And don't you tell me to stop apologizing or something like that. Ever since you came here, you've done nothing but apologized. Even for the things you didn't do. I'm sorry Izaya. But things will change. We are going to move out. Soon, very soon."

"I know, your uncle told me."

"Oh, did he now." She chuckled, before smile disappeared from her face. "I'm going to let you go Izaya."

His eyes shot up with panic as he started trembling. Claws of the fear, all too familiar, clutched his heart.

"Please Namie, don't leave me! What did I do?! What did I do, Namie? I promise I'll fix it, I promise. I'll be better, I behave, I swear, just please don't leave me! I'll be good! I'll be good, I'll do anything you ask, anything! Just please don't leave me!"

She looked at the panicked boy with tears in his eyes. She looked at him in disbelief. Did he not understand?

"I don't think you understand, Izaya. I'm not going to throw you out or anything. I'm setting you free. You don't need to be a slave anymore, okay. I'll give you enough money and support you through school, but you will be the one making decisions. You'll finally be free, Izaya. Don't you want that?"

He looked at her tear eyed. Did he want to be free? Sure it sounded rather nice, but still… he wasn't used to freedom. He didn't know how to be free. And the most important thing of all…

"I don't want to be away from you, Namie." He whispered letting his head fall on her shoulder, tears slowly running across his cheeks; "Please Namie, don't chase me away."

She was silent. Not saying a single word. It scared him. It scared him a lot. And then, she hugged him. She hugged him, sighing silently, passing her hand through his hair.

"Do you really want to stay with me Izaya? Are you sure?"

"I love you Namie. I love you, and I will always love you."

I know, she wanted to say. But the she noticed it. The tone that the confession was delivered in. Izaya told her that he loved her a thousand times. But never like this. The influence of Saika's addictive love was always hearable in his love hazed sentences. But this one was different. There was no Saika in his voice, it was Izaya. Just and only Izaya. And she didn't know how to respond to that.

"So you are sure?"

"Absolutely sure."

"I will not treat you like before Izaya. You are a real person, and you need to start seeing yourself like that. Are you okay with that?"

"I would do anything for you Namie. I would go to the end of the Earth for you. And I will be a normal person for you."

She sighed, hugging the younger boy. It wasn't perfect, but it was a start. She will show him how to be free. She will open the cage that held him captive for so long. She will let him spread his wings…and she will teach him how to fly.

If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was.

Author's notes: Well now we know that I suck and writing romance…yey. Review please. It inspires me to write better then this.