"Alec, come on, please," Magnus was holding Alec's hand, trying to pull him out of bed. It'd been a week now, and the pattern hadn't changed – Alec slept and didn't eat or drink anything, and when he was awake all he'd do was pretend to focus on a movie or sit stare blankly into the air.

"What's the point?" Alec said from the bed. His head was buried in the pillow, and he was wrapped up in the duvet with the exception of the arm Magnus was pulling at.

"The point is that I'm not letting you starve to death or sleep your life away. You can't spend all day in bed. It's been a week, come on."

"Max is dead." The words were spoken like they were just some kind of fact, a sentence Alec had said over and over again without even realizing what the words actually meant.

"I know, baby, but please. He wouldn't want you to be like this and waste our trip to Paris. Won't you please go with me and get some breakfast? At least a little bit. Please just get out of bed, Alexander, I hate seeing you like this." Magnus sat on the edge of the bed, and let his hand rest on Alec's shoulder instead of holding his hand. Alec turned his head towards him, and Magnus could see how red his eyes were both from crying and too much sleep.

"What does it matter what he'd want? He's gone."

"Fine, then I don't want you to waste our trip to Paris. Let's go to a café, and then we can go to see the Eiffel tower or go to the Louvre, whatever you want, Alec. Just please let us get out of this hotel room."

"Fine," Alec said with a sort of hostility in his voice that Magnus didn't like. He was only trying to help. Alec sat up, pulled away from Magnus and got up from the bed. He went over to his suitcase and found some new clothes to wear; a pair of black skinny jeans and a light pink, almost white, t-shirt.

"No need to get mad."

Alec sighed and looked at Magnus. He had dark bruises under his eyes, caused by too much sleep and his hair was greasy. He hadn't taken a shower in two days. "I just don't get why you have to drag me out when I don't want to go."

"First of all, aren't you going to take a shower? Second, I think you do want to go, but you're telling yourself you don't because you don't think it would be fair to Max if you're the least bit happy this soon after he died."

Alec left the room to take a shower without saying a word. He didn't need anyone to tell him how he felt.

10 minutes later, he came out from the bathroom and looked at Magnus, standing in front of the hair and checking his hair and make-up. Magnus looked at him and smiled a bit. He would never get tired of looking at Alec with damp hair and that rosy colour on his cheeks after a shower. "Feel better?"

"No," Alec said, clearly not wanting to talk.

Magnus sighed and turned towards Alec with his hands on his hips. "Just because Max died doesn't mean you get to act like an asshole. You're my boyfriend, and I love you, and I'll do anything I can to help you, but you're just closing yourself off again and pushing me away."

"I'm not pushing you away."

Magnus raised an eyebrow disbelievingly. "Oh, is that so? When was the last time we had a proper conversation?"

"We had a conversa-"

"When was the last time you kissed me? Held me when we were going to bed? Looked at me with those eyes filled with love you're scared to admit? When was the last time you-"

"What do you mean I'm scared to admit it?" Alec interrupted him and looked him straight in the eyes, brows furrowed slightly in both anger and confusion.

"The last time you kissed me was the day Max died, 6:30 in the morning. You'd just gotten out from your shower and I was doing my hair. You looked at me with those loving eyes and smiled at me, and then you walked over to me and kissed me. Your hair was damp just like now, and for a moment it didn't matter that we were here for Max. It was just you and me in Paris, the city of love, and nothing else mattered."

Alec stared at him for a moment, before quietly saying; "What do you mean I'm afraid to admit it?"

Magnus sighed heavily and sat down on the bed, looking down at his feet. He sounded like he was on the edge of crying. "When you look at me, it's so obvious, Alexander. You do love me, and that's why I waited so long before talking to you about saying it. But you were never close to saying it. Everything you do makes me feel like I'm the person you want to spend your life with, so why won't you say it?"

Alec looked down too and bit his bottom lip. "I'm sorry," he finally said after a long hesitation. Magnus looked back up at him.

"No, Alec, I don't want an apology, I want an answer."

"Because you're right. I'm terrified of saying it. I told Scott, and look what happened to us. And you're everything I want, Magnus; I don't want to lose you, not for anything in the world." His voice cracked with a small sob, but he somehow managed to keep the tears from running over. "You're so amazing, and I just don't want to scare you away, because if I lost you too I wouldn't be able to forgive myself, I couldn't. I need you."

Magnus sighed and got up from the bed. He walked over to Alec, bringing his hands to his face and cupping his jaw, gently lifting his head so that he would look at him. "Alec, I'm not going anywhere, I promise. Even if it's the last thing I'll do, I'll be by your side. I love you too much to ever let you go."

Alec squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, before opening them, but looking down without bringing his head with his gaze. "I love you too, Maggie."

Magnus couldn't help but smile at him, and Alec looked up when he didn't say anything. When he saw the huge smile on Magnus' face, he just had to smile just a little bit himself. After a few seconds, he leaned forward, capturing Magnus lips in their first kiss since Max died. When they finally broke apart, he didn't pull back more than so he could still feel Magnus' lips brushing against his own. He didn't open his eyes more than halfway as he looked at Magnus' lips.

"I love you so, so much, and I'm so sorry it took so long."

Magnus smiled and looked up at Alec's eyes. "It's okay. I love you too, baby."

AN: Hey guys. Update. Yay. Sorry it took a bit.

I don't have a lot to say, other than that I'm going to a vacation home on saturday, so I won't be posting any new chapters before I get home. It's still in the country though, so I'm still gonna be on tumblr (sparklesbeforeducks) if you have any questions or anything. Just message me.

I think that's it, so I hope you enjoyed it.

Review if you feel like it.

Lea