Disclaimer: I own nothing below. Nothing, that is, save Ditto. Or the first-person. Or George Bailey, whatever you decide to call him.

Play the drumroll, this is the longest part I've ever uploaded. Not exactly "by far", but it's plenty long. Also, there's more profanity in this chapter than usual, but still less than many comparable stories. If you're allergic to profanity, grab the Kleenex and read it anyway.

Insert plug for XxSanitariumxX, and the story may begin.

I remembered the gun before I got home. Any markings it had on it were clearly English, which I thought was odd. On its side were large letters that spelled "APIR", with smaller letters extending the abbreviation. "All-Purpose Improvised-Round submachine gun," I read aloud. "What's that supposed to mean?"

I forgot about the gun once more, as my mind went to how I would explain how late I was. I could try to say that I got lost, but that would only make Joanne worry. Besides, the gun at my hip pretty much got rid of that theory. I could throw it in a bush, I thought, but I didn't take that idea seriously. Some random pedestrian could find it, and that would be bad. Not to mention, I still wanted to keep it.

I didn't come up with a plan before the house became visible. It was well past midnight, so everyone in the house would probably be asleep. But that only added to my nervousness. As I approached the house, I tried to make myself a little more like Colin, who was a feline, so probably pretty stealthy. What are they gonna think? I wondered again. They'll be so disappointed. Joanne will never let me leave again, and God forbid she sits on me to keep me safe.

I crept up to the door and put my hand on the knob, peeking in the window at the door's side. I couldn't see anyone, so I breathed a relieved sigh. But when I tried to turn the knob, it didn't budge. Locked, I thought. And they never gave me a key. I took a step back and cursed under my breath. Through my mind ran every single possible way into the house, from scaling the fence to get to the back, to climbing into a window on the second story. But eventually, I decided it wouldn't be worth the effort, and put forward my arm to knock on the door.

The door opened before I could hit it, revealing Jake. And my heart fell into my shoes. He looked as intimidating as I'd ever seen him, and my nervousness didn't help at all. His black feathers almost blended into the dark interior of the house, but I didn't make any mistake about how big he was. No jokes about "Lee" went through my mind as he stared at me silently, and I squirmed under his disappointed glare. I thought of trying to explain everything, but before I could make up my mind, he stepped aside.

"Get in here," he whispered. I nodded and hurried in, as though something was trying to get me, and the house offered safety. The door closed behind me quietly, and before I could make it to the stairs, he grabbed my shoulder. "Sit," he commanded, gesturing to the couch. I obeyed quickly, taking the gun off and setting it beside me. He sat in a chair nearby, and turned it to face me. I think I liked being trapped with Sharp more, I thought as he leaned forward.

"You alright?" he asked.

"Yeah," I chuckled nervously. "Look, I can explain. Relics invited me to do a double date with him and two other girls, and we –"

"I don't need to know right now," Jake said. I tried to take a deep breath, but it was sporadic. "You made Joanne worry. I don't like it when she worries."

"I'm sorry," I said. Jake had a way of making me serious that even Sharp or the police couldn't equal.

"You know you could've been seriously hurt?" he asked. I nodded. "We didn't even know where you were."

"I always have my translator," I said, holding it up. He nodded.

"You wanna tell me what happened now?" he asked after a few moments.

"Well...like I said, Relics asked if I wanted to join him and Lana on a date. I brought Krystal. It went well, and we left at a reasonable time."

"Then where were you?" Jake asked.

"I...someone hit us with a tranquilizer," I said, and I saw a spark of anger in Jake's eye. "But we got out, and escaped in an arwing."

"Kidnapped? An arwing?" he asked, leaning back. His feathers rose slightly in an amused gesture. Great. He doesn't believe me, I thought. The feathers slowly fell, though, as it dawned on him that I was telling the truth. "You know who?" he asked.

"No," I lied. I didn't know where to find them, anyway. "And they aren't normal. They could take a gorilla in a boxing match."

"And you got out?" he asked. I didn't hear skepticism in his voice, though, and I nodded. "Maybe you're tougher than you look," he said.

"I hit him when he wasn't looking and then ran," I said. It was true...enough.

"You made sure Lana and Krystal were okay first, right?" he asked.

"Krystal's okay, yeah, but Lana didn't get taken."

He hummed and looked down in contemplation. "Your father's raised you well. You could've left her behind."

"Thank you. But I really couldn't," I said, almost chuckling. "Krystal just about saved me."

He let out a laugh, careful not to awaken anyone who was sleeping, and I managed to smile. Now that I knew he wouldn't try to take my head off, I was able to relax.

"Hey," he said as I stood up. "Let me tell Joanne. I know how to talk to her."

"Okay," I said, grabbing my rifle. I didn't know much about it, but I planned on learning something. But he took it out of my hands before I could get away.

"And this, I'll keep hidden. Wouldn't want Colin or Ruth to get their hands on it."

"Thanks," I said. I tried to walk away again, but he stopped me. This time, he turned me back to face him, and looked into my eyes for a little while. I started to squirm under his gaze again, but he held me still.

"Whatever you're hiding..." he said slowly. I looked away guiltily. I didn't know how he figured out that I was lying, but I did know that I didn't like betraying his trust.

"I will tell you," I promised. "Some day."

"I look forward to it," he said before pushing me toward the stairs. "Now go get some sleep. You've got school in a few hours."

"Alright. Thanks for...understanding."

Joanne pretty much read me the riot act in the morning; how worried she'd been, how I could've been hurt, and that sort of thing. But I knew Jake had talked to her, because she didn't actually ask many questions. Nobody did, in fact. The only one who would really talk to me was Colin, and that's mostly because I talked to him first, to ask for a jacket. I didn't see Jake before Joanne drove me to school, so I asked her to thank him for me.

I actually managed to hold my head high as Joanne drove away. I mean, it's not like I really did anything wrong. But I also knew that Relics had some explaining to do. As they had the day before, Katherine and Michael walked away wordlessly to find their friends, so I strode toward the front doors. I hadn't even taken five steps before Eli found me.

"Ditto!" he called. I managed not to sigh as I turned toward him.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Don't 'yeah' me. You've got some explaining to do," he said, pulling me aside.

"Eli, what are you talking about?"

"You, duh! You and your date."

"It wasn't a date."

"Well, it sure seemed like one on the news."

"I was on the news?" I asked skeptically.

"Yeah. You and that 'Relics' kid. But I think you're my hero now."

"Why is that?"

"Oh, come on! You talked to Krystal, who you knew for one day, and convinced her to go on a date with you. But not just any date, oh no, you take her to the Winchester. Without even paying for it! And then you manage to convince her that the whole thing wasn't a date! I wish I could plan things like that!"

"Good grief, does everyone already know all that?" I asked.

"That's what happens when both humans on Corneria hang out together. Everyone's interested. But what I want to know is where you two went after the date."

"What do you mean?"

"Like you don't know," he said knowingly. "Come on, what happened? Did you score?"

"'Score'? Really?" I asked. "No, of course not."

"Then where were you two for how many hours? Because you missed a hell of a sight."

"Hmm?"

"An arwing," he said, almost reverently. "That's right. A military weapon of precision and destruction. Flown right out of a high-security military base, around midnight last night. Whoever took it knew what they were doing; they got away from any radars and turned off the thing's GPS. Nobody even knows where it is now, but I heard they stashed it near this school."

"You're crazy," I said, chuckling in spite of myself. Like I knew what I was doing. But my head snapped up a second later. "Wait, you said a military base?" I asked.

"Yeah. Some forgotten base down south somewhere. Don't know why, but I heard there weren't even any people in that base; haven't been for years. Why an arwing would be in there..."

"And you said no one knows where the arwing is?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said, looking askance at me. He knocked on my head a few times for good measure, saying, "Hello? Anybody in there?"

"Hey," I said, rubbing my head. "But that all sounds pretty cool. What would you do if you found the thing?"

"Aww, that'd be sweet!" he exclaimed. I smiled, glad that I'd changed the subject. "I'd hide it in my garage, paint it, fly it around. Maybe use it to pick up chicks?"

"Eli, you already said it's a precision instrument of death. I don't think your date would want to be crammed in there with you."

"I'll bet I wouldn't get shoved in any lockers, though," he said with a smirk.

"Unless the bully beat you up and took the ship, right?" I asked. "Then you'd be straight up screwed."

"Oh, yeah, right. Like they could catch me."

"You can't outrun an arwing," I said, before noticing Relics walking toward the school, carrying a guitar case and a small amp. I started toward him, suddenly serious. "I'll be right back, Eli."

"Hey, where are you –"

"I said 'I'll be right back,'" I repeated, glaring at him.

"Okay, okay," Eli said, backing away. I walked right up to Relics, ignoring the students who were asking about his guitar, and stood right in his path. He didn't notice me until he was about to run into me, but when he did, he perked up.

"You're okay!" he exclaimed.

"We need to talk," I said, trying to keep a serious expression.

"Alright, sure, what about?" he asked.

"Privately," I said quietly.

"Okay..." he said slowly, thinking it over. A second later, he said, "Come on," and turned toward the back of the school. I followed, making sure nobody tried to follow us. Fortunately, everyone but Eli had better things to do.

"Not now, Eli," I said, turning my back on him.

"Hey, what's going on?" he asked. I didn't respond.

Relics led me around the back of the A building, where there were almost no students. I saw a group of kids near a different building, probably passing around some kind of drug, but I ignored them.

"So, what's up?" Relics asked.

"Who the hell is 'Sharp'?" I asked. Recognition flashed across his features, but he tried to hide it.

"W-what are you talking about?" he asked.

"Don't you turn on me, too. Your buddies Cane and Sharp kidnapped us last night. I know you know them."

"What makes you think that?" he asked with a nervous chuckle.

"Because they said that Miranda was following a certain agent six-four," I said. He glanced around, a hint of anger in his eyes, before he turned to me again.

"You're sure about that?" he asked quietly.

"Relics...what's going on?"

"I...I can't tell you," he said, looking down.

"Well, Krystal and I knocked out both Cain and Sharp, and then got out by ourselves," I said. His head snapped up, his expression intense.

"What? You? How the hell did you knock out Sharp?"

"I've got my own secrets," I said. "Who's agent six-four?"

"Damn it, Ditto, I can't tell you!"

"Then what can you tell me, huh? Because last I checked, you weren't the one who was kidnapped. What if Krystal gets hurt because of you?"

"She won't be," a feminine voice said from nearby. I turned toward it, but I didn't see anyone. Suddenly, something hit my chest, knocking me down. The voice giggled, and a woman began to appear nearby. I'd have thought she was attractive in her form-fitting stealth suit, had she not just kicked me to the ground.

"Miranda?" Relics asked. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm watching out for you, handsome. Your friend already said so," she said as I sat up.

"What do you want?" I asked. Quick as a flash, she whipped out a blaster and pressed it right between my eyes. I heard the whirring of it charging up, and somehow I knew she wouldn't hesitate to pull the trigger.

"Miranda," Relics warned. The woman stared at me for a few more moments, before pulling the blaster away.

"What?" she asked innocently, "I wasn't gonna kill him." She put the gun away, and I climbed to my feet slowly.

"What do you want?" Relics asked.

"Nothing; I was just supposed to tell your friend something. Sharp says we have a way to get him home, if he wants. And if not, he's supposed to stay out of our way," she said. She leaned toward me with a seductive smile and added, "We won't go so easy on him next time."

"Still looking for your arwing?" I asked with a smirk. Her smile disappeared, shortly before she did.

"Arwing?" Relics asked. He went ignored.

"I'll be watching," she said. A moment later, I saw something invisible press up against Relics' lips, and I knew what Miranda was doing.

"She's a bitch," I said with a chuckle. A blaster bold fired from nearby and narrowly missed my foot. I jumped away, but then I heard Miranda's giggle. I scowled toward where I thought she was.

"Time for school," she said happily.

"Seriously, though, an arwing?" Relics asked once he came back to earth.

"Yeah. We had to leave, and that was the only way out," I replied, walking through the school's back doors. Relics followed.

"How'd you fly it?" he asked. "Oh, wait. Never mind."

"What?" I asked.

"Krystal piloted, didn't she? Had some experience on whatever planet she's from?"

"No, I flew it. What makes that so hard to believe?"

"Okay, hold on. First, you tell me you beat Sharp, which I probably couldn't do, and then you say you stole an arwing?" he asked. "Who are you, and what did you do with the real Ditto?"

"Stole an arwing?" someone asked. Suddenly Eli stuck his head out from around a corner.

"Oh, no," I said, slapping my forehead.

"You took the arwing?" he asked. I assumed he was smiling, but I was still new to the feather-emotion thing.

"Keep it down, bird brain," Relics said. "We don't want the entire school hearing."

"Holy –" he began, before I clamped a hand over his beak.

"Okay, if you'll stay calm; yes, I'm the one who took the arwing, okay? Some crazy shit happened last night, and I didn't really have a choice."

I slowly took my hand away, but I could still tell that Eli was excited. He was nearly trembling, but he did remember to whisper. "You broke into a military base? What are you, some kind of super-spy? What's your real name? Is Ditto just a cover? Are you here on a secret mission for the humans? Or are you really even a human?"

"Eli," I said, annoyed, "I'm not a spy."

"Oh, sure. That's just what a spy would say. But you snuck into a secret base, you stole an arwing, and you even got the girl. You're a spy."

"Oh, come on, are you –" I began, when he ran away excitedly.

"I'll catch you later," he called out. I just stared after him, confused.

"You know, I'll bet Miranda would be willing to get rid of him for us," Relics said. His seriousness almost scared me.

"Nah," I chuckled. "At least, not if he keeps that big beak shut."

"Hear that?" Relics asked over his shoulder. There was no answer. "What, she actually left?"

"She's supposed to be sneaky, isn't she? She wouldn't talk if she was sneaking."

"Oh, you don't know Miranda," he said.

"I'll just take your word for it," I said with a smirk. I pointed at a door as we passed it. "Isn't that your class?"

"Yeah," he said dejectedly. "I'll see you later."

"You, too. I've got to go find Krys–" I began, when I almost bumped into someone. I looked up, and saw the bull from the previous day.

"Oh, look who it is," he said with a dark smile on his face. "The little wimp from yesterday. Where's your little friend today, huh? You gonna help him again?"

"Really?" I asked no one in particular. "Do I have to do this again today?"

"Look, runt, I ain't got no problem with you. Just tell me where the hawk is, and I'll leave you alone."

"I would suggest you leave anyway," Relics said, returning from the room. "Or things could get ugly."

"What?" the bull snorted. "Well, from the looks of you, things already got ugly."

"Just what's that supposed to mean?" a girl asked from behind the bull. I glanced around him, and saw Miyu. He turned, too, and his tone immediately changed when he saw her.

"M-Miyu! These friends of yours?" he stammered.

"Might be," she said, looking me up and down. I could tell she still didn't like me, but at least she didn't hate me.

"Well, I didn't mean nothin'. We's just messin' around, right kid?" he asked, punching my shoulder harder than was necessary. I rubbed my shoulder without responding.

"Is he the one you stuffed in a locker yesterday?" she asked.

"How'd you –?" I began.

"Krystal told me. Well, Pete?"

Pete? I thought.

"I-I mean...w-we just...er...I was trying...you see, what happened was –" he stammered, before taking off down the hall.

"Dang," I said, watching him go. "What did you do to –" but she was already entering the class Relics was standing in front of. "Hold on," I said, reaching a hand to stop her. As soon as I touched her shoulder, her hand shot up and grabbed mine. Her claws were slightly extended, pricking my skin ever so slightly, and I froze.

"Don't touch me," she warned, before letting me pull my hand back. "I don't know you that well."

"Well, thanks!" I called after her. I turned to Relics, who was holding in a laugh. "Thanks to you, too," I said. He smiled and walked into the room.

I turned around to find my own class, and saw a red robin a little way off. Melina! I ducked my head before she noticed me, and tried to go on my way. The most infamous character in the story, and with my luck, she's going to try to seduce me, I thought. Still, I only hoped that I could get to class before more drama unfolded. I wasn't so lucky. Just when I thought I'd gotten away without her noticing me, she came up behind me.

"Hey," she said, almost startling me. I stood up straight, and turned toward her, trying to ignore her ample attributes. It wasn't easy; she was wearing a tight shirt and leaning slightly forward, and I just knew it was on purpose.

"Yeah?" I asked, glancing instead at the lockers.

"I heard you were with Relics last night. So...did he say if he was gonna call me?" she asked. She seemed innocent enough, but I knew exactly what was under the feathery exterior.

"I didn't hear him mention you," I said.

"Oh," she said, disappointed. "So, his date with Lana went well?"

"From what he told me, yes. But I hear Falco was –"

"Oh, I'm not interested in Falco."

"But you're interested in Relics?" I asked knowingly. I managed to make and keep eye contact.

"Maybe," she admitted, stepping closer slowly. "But maybe I'm just wondering what it's like to be with a human."

"More power to you," I said, turning around. She stopped me with a feathery hand on my shoulder.

"Hang on, wait," she said. As much as I knew I'd regret it, I stopped and turned toward her again. "I'm just concerned about Relics, is all. He doesn't know who Lana really is."

"But I do," I told her. By her reaction, you'd think I had just grown another head.

"What do you know?" she asked.

"I know she was infamous. She hung out with Wolf O'Donnell for a while, got into the wrong crowd, and all that."

"That's not all," she said, looking at me sullenly. "We were best friends. I knew her like no one else did. But then Wolf came..."

"...and she changed?" I guessed. She shook her head.

"No, she didn't just change. She became a completely different person. She threw away our friendship, for him."

"But she was hurt, too. She's changed, you know? And she knows that she made mistakes. She needs your forgiveness, after all."

"I can't forgive her," Melina said, suddenly turning away.

"You pretentious bitch," I said, making her turn toward me again. "I'm sure she did plenty of bad things, but you aren't the only one she hurt. I'm sure she made Fox and his friends resent her, too, but they grew the hell up and forgave her. Maybe if you'd get your own damned ego out of the way, you'd see how much she's already paid for what she's done. Y'know what? Don't forgive her. What do I care? But if you hurt her, ruin her, and break her heart...it won't feel good. You won't be any better than she was."

"You don't know me!" she shouted at me with watery eyes. "You don't know what she did to me."

"You still aren't alone," I said. I couldn't help but wonder whether she was even being honest. "Look, I don't hate you, okay? I don't want to be an ass. Just don't try anything with Relics, because he is my friend, and I don't want him to get hurt in all of this."

"Okay," she said, nodding. She turned toward me with the avian equivalent of a smile. "I...I'll try." She put her hands on my shoulders and stared into my eyes for a while. Her eyes weren't watering any more, but I still saw the tear tracks down her cheeks. The sight made me take a closer look at her. She certainly didn't look bad; if she gave up the anti-Lana game, she could've had a boyfriend by the end of the day, if she wanted one. But I knew she wasn't all that sincere when she started slowly leaning forward.

That's enough of that, I thought, removing her hands as politely as I could. How would it even feel to kiss a beak? Y'know what? I don't want to find out. "Just get to class, Melina."

Her feathers smoothed themselves, and she stared at me intently. "When did I tell you my name?" she asked. Damn. I manage to get through an entire conversation without giving away any real information, and then I blow it.

"I...uh...must have...overheard when Falco gave Relics your note."

The minute-bell chose that moment to ring, and I almost leapt for joy. "Well, I've got to go," I said as I turned and ran through the halls, "See you later!"

I didn't listen for a response as I ran. I wasn't weighed down by anything like a backpack, so I could sidestep and dodge the other students without much of a problem. Fortunately, it was only down the hall and to the right, so I got into the class and into my seat a good fifteen seconds before the bell rang. I didn't have to explain my panting to the students around me. Except Eli, but after I chastised him for the second day in a row for running away without an explanation, I quieted down. I tried to listen to the teacher as he began to go over a review of math concepts, but I quickly remembered how boring math was.

After a few minutes of his boring prattle, I laid my head down on the desk. This is going to be a very long year, I thought.

A/N: Good grief, has he met everyone yet? Let's see, new characters in this part...oh, wait. No, not that many. Miranda and Melina, that's about it. I mean, Pete, the big bull guy got a name, but he's not really new. And I elaborated on Jake, effectively removing his nickname. But for a double-length chapter, I think that's not too many. As always, I'd really appreciate a review, favorite, or follow.

Well, I may just take a day-or-so break to update some of my other fics. I mean, I haven't updated Dragons' Legacy in a while, and I have a few ideas for that story. At least Duel of the Unknown is completed, by my standards. That story's been getting a lot of views these past few days, too. It's always fun to see that. Maybe one day, when I improve my skills, I'll rewrite it. It could've been great, but it seems to be sorta..."meh".

Wanna know my dream? I want to make a fully-original story, publish a book based off of it, wait for the series to get popular (assuming it does), and write a fanfiction based off of my own work. Then, in the disclaimer, I can say "Hey, I DO own this story, and the official characters."

Oh, right, and I should apologize to Miles Tails McCloud, since he's currently Beta Reading this very chapter. I'm just too impatient, I suppose. And since I'm almost done writing chapter 14, I decided to upload anyway.

One last EDIT, I have a new favorite quote from this series. "Where's your arwing?" If you have one, I'd love to hear it; just leave a review, if you would. And it'll help my self-esteem if you checked a favorite or follow box, too.

Edit (again): I made Ditto REALLY tell off Melina. It adds some depth to her future appearances. And I had to edit it again to seem nice immediately after that, because I didn't want to go into all the work of making her not lean in for the kiss. Just makes it easier on me, really.