Disclaimer: I don't own Star Fox, or Exchange Student. Any ideas representative of either of those found below is not my intellectual property. As in, it's not mine.

Agh! Almost late! This update was only a few minutes' time from not happening. I quite literally typed 2000 words within an hour of uploading. Also, watch for the ending, because I'm not sure how well it fits.

And, this is the first chapter title with punctuation in the name, not including colons. So, there's that.

My eyes flashed open and I sat up abruptly, looking around with wide eyes to take in the entire room. Soft light poured in through the one window in the room. Colin lay in his bed haphazardly, but undisturbed. The door was closed, and the room was nearly empty. Nothing was out of the ordinary. I wiped my damp face and took a deep breath to calm down my racing heart.

What's going on? I wondered, breathing through my fingers. The night had been normal – meaning it had passed in the blink of an eye, but the sensation of having just seen a nightmare stuck. I couldn't find the faintest sliver of a dream in my memories, though.

"This is too weird," I whispered, shaking my head. It had been years since my last nightmare, period; why one would come now, in a realm where I wasn't supposed to dream at all, I didn't know. I looked at the alarm clock, saw that it would've gone off in only three minutes anyway, and got out of bed.

I started to get ready for the day, but I hadn't finished before I got distracted by my own imagination. I was trying to figure the whole situation out, when the alarm clock went off. I started at the sudden noise, and continued to get ready while Colin slowly woke up. After we exchanged a "Good morning," he began to get ready, too. And once again, I found myself musing before I was done.

"You okay?" Colin asked after a short while.

I shook myself and looked at him. "Huh?"

"You look like you just saw a ghost," he said.

"Oh. Nah, I just...weird dreams..."

"Like what?"

"Just...uh...it'd be weird to say," I lied. "It wouldn't make any sense."

"Whatever. Then just forget it and get ready for school."

"Yeah, yeah," I replied, getting back to the task at hand, which happened to be finding my shoes. Why can't I just put them in one place? I wondered.

The rest of the morning routine passed swiftly, without any more deep contemplation about the near-dream experience. I ate, made small talk with the other members of the household, and before long, was whisked away to school. I made sure to tell Joanne that I had plans after school, and after a few seconds' worth of explaining, she accepted that I wouldn't be in any danger, and the trip to the Great Fox was allowed. A big smile came over my face as I headed toward the school.

"What's up?" Michael asked when he saw the goofy grin.

"Nothin'," I replied. Considering the previous day had been the first one without danger for anyone I knew, and today looked fun and easy, I allowed myself some optimism. Of course, my mind touched on the delicate subject of the previous night, and my happy mood almost immediately disappeared. The thought crossed my mind to ask someone, but I had no one to ask. Sharp was the only one who could be expected to know anything, and he probably wasn't in a position to be sympathetic toward me.

"Good morning," a feminine voice called, bringing me back to reality yet again. I cringed and looked up as the robin approached.

"Melina," I said with a nod.

"Whoa. Who's that?" Michael half-whispered to me.

"It's just Mel-" I began, before realizing they were both avian. Maybe that'll work, I thought. "Her name is Melina," I told him. "And she's single," I added in a whisper.

"You think I've got a chance?" he asked.

"Sure, why not?" I asked. Suddenly, I felt a sense of foreboding, and for some reason, couldn't stop myself from looking up at the sky. I didn't see anything odd, so I ignored it and looked back at Melina as she walked beside me.

"How are you?" she asked. I had to remind myself that she was no longer a person to avoid.

"I'm doing good," Michael said before I could open my mouth.

"Oh. Who's your friend, Ditto?" Melina asked.

"Melina, this is Michael. Michael, Melina."

"Hi," she said, before turning to me once more. "Listen, I just wanted to find you so I could tell you goodbye."

"Goodbye?" I asked. She nodded.

"I'm going to Macbeth for a while," she replied. I nodded slowly, hoping this had been a part of the story. Of course, I had no idea what or where Macbeth was, but I found myself hoping it wasn't too far away.

"How long?" I asked. She shrugged.

"I don't know. I just wanted to thank you again for your...help."

"I wouldn't call it help," I replied. "I just lost my temper, and things kinda just fell into place."

"Well...thanks anyway. And...I guess this is goodbye."

"Oh. Well, I hope you...uh...find what you're looking for. Or something," I said awkwardly. She let out a giggle.

"Bye, Ditto," she said, before heading into the school just ahead of me. Puzzled at why she didn't head to an airport or something instead, I called out to her.

"I thought you were leaving!"

"I am," she replied, stopping and turning around. "But not until later. I just wanted to make sure you knew."

"Oh," I said as she continued. Michael elbowed me without a hint of subtlety, and I glared at him. "What was that for?" I asked.

"Yeah, like I have a chance with her. She's going to a different planet."

"Is that what Macbeth is?" I asked.

"Of course," he replied as we entered the building. "What'd you think it was?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe just another country or something? See, it was easier on Earth. The adventurous types would talk about 'seeing the world'. Now what do they talk about, seeing the universe?"

"I just wonder why she would go there," he said.

"Huh? Why?"

"Well, there's nothing on Macbeth. At all. I mean, there are a bunch of miners and stuff, but no beaches, probably no stores, terrible weather...why choose there for a vacation?"

"Why don't you go ask her?" I asked, pushing him forward. He leaned back and resisted the push.

"No, how about I don't?" he asked.

"Whatever," I said, pulling my hand away abruptly. He regained his balance without even stumbling, which slightly disappointed me. "And she didn't say she was taking a vacation."

"Well, then why's she going, smart one?" he asked.

"How should I know?"

"Exactly," he said, turning down the same hallway as the previous day. "See you."

"Bye," I said, before facing forward again. I abruptly looked around, wondering where the people who usually followed me were. Specifically, Eli came to mind. "Where is he?" I asked myself, scanning the hallways. Being taller than most of the others by an inch or so helped a little, but standing on my toes helped even more. Still, though, I didn't catch sight of the brown hawk anywhere.

"I swear, if he went and got himself a girlfriend," I said, before continuing to first period. "Friggin...everyone around here getting in a relationship. Most of it's my fault, too. Couldn't just keep my trap shut, no sir-ee, had to go and meddle."

I considered that the people around me would see me as crazy if I kept talking to myself, but I found that I didn't care. Then I realized that I was an unwitting ambassador to Corneria, and I got the monologue under check.

I made it to first period without another interesting situation. Once I got there, I found Eli already seated. He explained that he got to school early (not on purpose, he made clear), and I accepted his excuse, before I began wishing the class away.

It passed, eventually. Once again, I didn't learn a thing; or, if I did, I didn't know that I learned anything. But after dragging myself out of that class, I headed to the next period, not bothering to say goodbye to Eli, since I'd be seeing him again soon anyway. I came to the next period and waited calmly outside for someone – anyone – else to enter first. Ms. Kensington hadn't made a single move on me personally yet, but I didn't want to give her a chance. Since she'd seen Relics last on Tuesday, she seemed to be warming up to me. It was all I could do to not literally run away at the end of the period. And of course, Bill never failed to notice her advances, despite his obliviousness concerning Relics.

"Speak of the devil..." I whispered as I saw the pale-skinned human walking toward me.

"Hey," he said calmly, nodding in greeting.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" I asked, trying poorly to hide my surprise.

"Second period. I've always been in this class."

"I mean, here. At school. I thought you and Lana were...resting."

"Well, we were," he said, standing beside me rather than braving the rather open swan in the classroom. "Until her parents got home. Her dad almost killed me, but I'm fine."

"Spider?" I asked, before I could stop myself.

"Yeah," he said with a shudder. "How'd you know?"

"Lucky guess," I replied quickly. "But seriously, I almost expected you to just stay home all weekend. Falco told me what happened, and I thought you'd want to take all the time off you could."

"I wanted to. But the dumb bird wouldn't quit squawking at me to go to school today."

"Falco," I said darkly.

"Yeah...you okay?"

"I'm fine," I said, covering up my frustration with a smirk. I entered the classroom before he could pursue the subject.

"Oh, hello," Ms. Kensington began when she saw me. But as soon as she saw Relics, her feathers all ruffled, and she put a hand on her chest to calm herself down. "Relics!" she exclaimed.

"Good morning, Ms. Kensington," I said with a smirk. I knew that she no longer had reason to chase me, so I decided to have some fun. I only hoped it wouldn't come back to bite me later. Relics followed me with his head down, trying hard not to make eye contact with her.

"Why I ever let Falco talk me into this..." he began as we sat down.

"Hey, it's not all that bad."

Ms. Kensington cleared her throat not-so-subtly, interrupting me.

"Relics, you know students who are absent need to give a reason for the absence, correct?" she asked. He nodded nonchalantly. "Well, be sure to do that. Wouldn't want you to get...detention..." she said, with what I guessed was an attempt at being seductive.

I couldn't help shuddering or frowning, and I had to keep my mind from conjuring images. That is so wrong on so many levels, I thought, shaking my head rapidly.

"Turn it in," I whispered to Relics. "Turn the paper in. Whatever you do, dear God, just get that paper turned in."

"I will," he said, looking almost as disturbed as I was. "Believe me, I will."

"What is it with her?" I asked. "Doesn't she have...I don't know, a life? I mean, isn't that called pedophilia?"

"I don't know," he replied, putting his head down. "Fucking Corneria."

I tried to ignore the profanity, and managed it pretty well. "Maybe you should ask someone who would know."

"Like?"

"Try Bill. I've got some...things to say to Falco."

"Hit him a few times for me. One for getting me to come to school. And one for telling you what happened Tuesday. No offense."

"Hey, he only told me because he thought I was trustworthy. I would've helped you out, but I was...busy."

"Yeah, lemme guess; hanging out with your girlfriend? Ditto, I needed help back there. And I got more from Miyu than you."

"So, what was I supposed to do? I didn't even know what was happening until it was too late anyway," I lied.

"And you didn't even check on anyone to see if we were okay?"

"Falco told me plenty." Lies, lies, and more lies. "And I don't think you would've appreciated if I barged in on you and Lana."

"Wait a second, Falco didn't know I spent the day with Lana..." he said suspiciously.

"But you did," I retorted. "You just told me that a spider saved your life."

"Oh, yeah," he said, before shuddering. "Creepy little things."

"They're really not all that bad," I said.

"Yes, they are. Now stop talking about 'em."

"What's the matter? Afraid of a little –" I began, when Falco, Bill, and Slippy entered the room. "Here we go," I said, interrupting myself.

"What?" Relics asked, looking toward the doorway. "Oh."

Once greetings were completely exchanged, I gave Falco the sternest glare I could, which admittedly didn't amount to much.

"Falco," I said when he didn't notice my expression.

"Hmm?"

"What is he doing here?" I asked, jerking a thumb toward Relics.

"I told him to come. Like he should get an extra day off? And it's not like he had a reason to stay home."

"Well, I would think he would want to spend more time with Lana. Relaxing. At home."

"What could possibly go wrong?" he asked.

"Yeah, relax," Relics said. "I was getting bored at home, anyway."

"Fine," I said, folding my arms. "Forget it. I'll get back at you tonight, though, Falco."

"Yeah, right," he said cockily. "I'll fly circles around you before you even get the hang of the controls."

"If you think you can," I said. "But while you're flying in circles, I'll just blast you out of the sky."

"I guess we'll see tonight, won't we?"

"I guess. I mean, I will, but you'll kinda be busy crashing and burning, so..."

"You're full of it."

"What're you two talking about?" Relics asked.

"Yeah," Bill agreed.

"Nothing," I replied. "If you want to know, you'll have to ask Fox."

Crap, I thought after a few moments. I'd forgotten that I was supposed to tell Fox the truth that afternoon; and Relics was never supposed to find out. When do I next see him? I wondered, before nearly growling in frustration. I didn't see him until sixth, whereas Relics saw him in P.E., just after lunch. Lunch! I thought excitedly. I can just tell Fox not to let Relics come at lunch. I leaned back with a smile, glad I'd figured it out. I looked up and realized a conversation had been going.

"...telling you, she's totally into me," Falco was saying.

"Dude! No she's not," Bill said.

"Yeah, she is. I'm gonna get her phone number today."

"Dude...Katt? Katt Monroe? The girl who backhanded you the other day? How can you think she's 'into' you?"

"Why don't you ask Ditto?" Falco said.

"No, no, no, leave me out of it," I told him. "I said you might have a chance, until you got slapped. Now, I'm not so sure."

"Oh, c'mon! That's not what you said before."

"I say a lot of things, Falco. And I'm not saying you don't have a chance, but she probably isn't too fond of you at the moment."

"Yeah, whatever," he said as Ms. Kensington began the class.

"Ditto?" Krystal asked, waving a hand in front of my face. I blinked twice and looked around at the bustling lunchroom, before focusing on her. "You okay, there?" she asked.

"Oh. Uh...yeah. Just thinking."

"I saw that," she said mirthfully. "You can't actually practice with an arwing until tonight."

"I'm a little on edge about that," I told her. "I can barely fly it straight, much less have a dogfight."

"Well, if you want me to come and keep you safe..." she began.

"I actually wouldn't mind. But you'd have to ask Fox, wouldn't you?"

"You're right," she said, before turning to him. He abruptly lifted his head and started looking around frantically, before he realized that the voice in his head was Krystal. During their silent conversation, I had time to start on my meal, before she turned to me again.

"He says it should be fine. As long as I don't touch anything or invite anyone else without his knowledge."

"Yeah. Makes me wonder why he even came up with this plan," I said, loud enough for him to hear.

"What?" he asked.

"You know how awesome this is, and you know how few people can come. Why would you suggest it?"

"Hey, hang on, I suggested that Falco and I do it after school on Tuesday. You were the one who told us to wait. And I guess I should thank you for that, too. We might not have gotten Fara's text if we were in a simulator."

"Yeah," I said, looking at Falco and Krystal in turn. "Lucky coincidence."

"That's crap," Bill said. "How come we can't come?"

"Because, Bill, I can't bring too many people. My dad told me no more than four."

"Four?" I asked Krystal.

"Where were you when he invited Relics?" she asked.

"He invited Relics?!" I asked, letting my head fall to the table.

"So?" Bill asked. "Why not me? I mean, there's Falco, Ditto, and Relics so far..."

"Why did he invite Relics?" I asked.

"Krystal's number four," Fox said.

"Because you didn't tell him not to," she replied.

"What?! Why's she get to go if I don't?" Bill asked Fox.

"How can I tell Fox the truth if Relics is there?" I asked Krystal.

"Maybe tell Relics, too? Or just wait until he's not nearby."

"I'm coming," Miyu told Fox.

"Of course," he said, like he'd already thought of it. "You don't count as one of the four, though."

"Hold on," Bill said. "How come Ditto's girlfriend can come if I can't? Huh?"

"Bill, calm down," I told him.

"Oh, of course you're fine with it. You're surrounded by friends. What about me?!"

"Bill!" Fox shouted. "If it'll make you calm down, okay, fine. You can come, too. I...I'll figure something out."

"Alright!" he shouted tactlessly. "Now, what about –"

"No, Sasha can't come," Fox said. "I'm already gonna be in trouble bringing as many people as I am."

"Aw, shoot," I said, slouching.

"What is it?" Krystal asked.

"Michael wanted to come, remember? I'll have to tell him that it's not happening."

"Yeah," Fox said. "Because no one else is coming."

"That's fine," Slippy said. "I'm busy anyway."

"What?" Falco asked. "What are you busy with?"

"C'mon, Falco," I told him. "It's a Friday; even Slippy can make plans."

"You must not know Slip. Seriously, what's up?"

"C'mon, guys, I'm just doing a couple things. It's not like I've got a date."

"You're building a laser, aren't you?" I asked. He just pretended that he hadn't heard, and continued eating. "He's building a laser," I said to myself. I glanced down at my food, which had hardly been touched, and felt my appetite awaken.

"So, do you have any plans Saturday?" Krystal asked as I took a bite. I tried to answer her, but the food in my mouth turned the answer into a muffled grunt. She put a hand in the crook of my arm, and I silently thanked her.

"I didn't; do I have plans now?" I asked.

"I don't know. I was wondering if you wanted to hang out."

"We could go to a skate park," I suggested, hoping she would agree.

"Oh, yeah! Good plan, Ditto. Do you know where any are?"

"D'oh. No, I don't."

"Ditto..."

"Hey, it's okay. We can ask Fox, tonight."

A few minutes later, the bell rang. I hadn't quite finished my food, but there wasn't much left anyway. While everyone else began to clean up, get ready, and leave, I hurriedly tried to eat the rest without choking. Krystal, despite my lack of manners, actually stayed there until I was finished. Just before that point, I swallowed hard and finally managed a word.

"Crud," I said, tossing the last bite into my mouth.

"Hey, it's not all bad," Krystal said as she stood.

"Oh, really?" I asked around the food.

"Yeah. You get to spend next period with me."

"I guess you're right," I said with a smirk, following her duly to third period.

A/N: Ahh, third period Biology. And he has it with his girlfriend; because, y'know, there's no double-entendre there at all. And I want to do some of fifth period; after all, I've hardly written any conversations between Eli, Krystal, and Ditto. I think there's some comical value there. Especially when you remember that Eli doesn't know anything about either Ditto or Krystal. I think. Well, he thinks Ditto is a spy, but that's a part of the comical value. That joke's never gonna get old to me.

I find that trying not to include profanity in the story when Bill or Relics are talking is quite difficult. My sincere apologies if I offended, but it would feel less...real if Relics didn't swear occasionally. And as for Bill, he's his own brand of ostentatious.

And yes, for those who haven't noticed, I'm making an effort to reduce the profanity throughout the story. Maybe not a popular decision, but I don't really like the boorish image I get in my mind when I see cursing. But that's just because I'm the author; if you like the profanity, just imagine that there's more of it.

Now back to the actual story; I'm waiting eagerly for Monday, when I can be less imaginative and just write off of Exchange Student again. However, I reiterate; I have plans for Ditto on Saturday. All the quantum mechanics might start making more sense at that point. I'm not giving away too much about my plans, am I?

Because I think it'd be possible to guess it, I'll offer a whopping twenty dream-points if anyone can guess close to what's going down Saturday.

Hint: remind yourself of the summary.

Hint 2: why did he look up at the sky?

Brought to you by dream-points: if you think they're worth anything, you're dreaming.

EDIT: Wow. "A few minutes later, the bell rang." Talk about worst ending in history. I added more to that, and slapped myself for putting that online.