Hey guys :) Sorry for the wait for this chapter, real life got in the way! Thank you all so much for the reviews from the last chapter – I really appreciated all of them :)
I hope you enjoy this chapter.
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It takes far too long for someone to find Connor, and he's gotten to the point where he has to close his eyes to keep the tears from leaking out.
"Connor MacManus?"
He sits up so fast that his head cracks back off against the wall, and a yelp is forced out of him as the stiches in his head make contact with the hard surface, "Wha—I—Murph!" Connor's mouth is working so fast that he's pretty sure that he's not making sense anymore, but he wraps an arm around his torso and hauls himself off the floor anyway.
The man staring down at him holds his hands up defence as Connor's eyes search his, "He's okay, Connor, he's stable. Now we have him settled in a room for the time being, but—"
"Where is he? I have ta see him, please, you've gotta let me see him."
The doctor simply nods, and starts walking, seeing that he's not going to get anything through to Connor when he's like this. Connor follows him quickly, eyes scanning into every room that they pass, looking for Murphy. He forces the doctor into a fast walk, getting more anxious as the seconds pass and he's not with his brother.
Finally, the doctor stops in front of a room, and nods to the inside. Connor pauses with him, not looking inside, arms wrapped around his ribs, and he takes a second to remind himself how to breathe. In. Out. In. Out.
There's a huge window looking into the room from the corridor, because the plaque on the wall says ICU, but Connor doesn't think that he can bear to look in just yet. He looks down at his feet, at the battered runners, and then steels himself.
Connor walks through the door, and forces his face to remain impassive.
Because all he wants to do is collapse to the ground and start crying until he's hoarse, but that's not going to help Murphy, so he goes with his other option. Connor walks over to his brother's beside, and looking down at him carefully, keeping his emotions contained, and then manages to say, "So what's th' story with Murph?"
"I'm… I'm not sure if this is a suitable topic to be discussing without your parents present…" The man starts to say, but then Connor turns around and stares at him.
His voice is hoarse and cracked, "Jus' tell me already. Fer fuck's sake, I need ta know what's wrong with him."
The look in his eyes was enough to have the other man clearing his throat carefully, "Okay. Murphy has sustained very serious injuries to his lower legs. The damage is extensive. He had emergency surgery this afternoon in an attempt to stabilise his legs, until further reconstruction could be carried out. That's what we're hoping to do. In simple terms, we intend to surgically repair the fractures using rods, screws, and other internal hardware. This will be a very lengthy, complicated series of procedures, which will probably be carried out during the course of one or more operations. For the time being, Murphy's legs have been stabilised in temporary casts. Do you have any questions?"
"Aye, when's he gonna wake up? An'… an' will he be able ta walk again?"
The doctor sighs slightly, and Connor swears that his heart missed a beat, "He should regain consciousness within the next hour or so. Because of his concussion, we can't keep him sedated, but he is dosed up on pain medication to manage the pain when he wakes up. And, as for the other questions, I hope so. Murphy will need intensive physiotherapy and time until he's able to walk again, probably with a limp for the long term, but I'm hopeful that he'll recover, given the time and rest he requires."
Connor swallows hard, and then sinks down into a chair next to Murphy, "Thank ya, doctor. I appreciate it."
"I'll leave you two alone. Run out and get one of the nurses, if you need anything."
Then they were alone, and Connor suddenly doesn't know what to do. Murphy is motionless in the bed, huge bulky casts visible under the blankets. He has an oxygen cannula under his nose, and the hospital gown looks baggy on him.
Connor leans forward and takes Murphy's limp hand gently in his own, "'m here, Murph. Ya gotta wake th' fuck up soon though, cause… cause I don't know what ta do. Ye need ta wake up so ye can start getting' better. And I don't know what ta do, an' I jus' need ye ta talk ta me. I need ta know that yer okay."
Then he presses his forehead gently to Murphy's hand, and begins to pray.
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It takes another two hours for Murphy to start waking up.
Conner jolts back to full consciousness the second he feels his twin's hand start to move in his. He leans forward and put a hand gently on Murphy's head, smoothing down his messy hair slightly, "Murph? Ye gonna open yer eyes an' wake up fer me now?"
There's another few minutes of Murphy just scrunching up his face, and moaning, before his eyes finally open. The blue eyes that Conn knows as well as his own are slightly glazed over, and full of confusion. Tears well up in Murphy's eyes, and Connor wordlessly wipes one away with his thumb before it can slip down Murphy's cheek.
"C-Connor?" His brother isn't making any attempt to mask his fear, and Murphy is clearly disoriented, and all Connor wants to do is cry alongside Murphy.
"Shh, s'okay, Murph, yer okay. There was an accident, and ye got a bit banged up, but yer okay. Don't try ta move, I don't want ye ta hurt yerself. I'm right here. Yer in a hospital, a really fuckin' good one, an' they're gonna fix ye up real good, y'hear? They're sound here, an' it's okay. Tá me anseo, tá me anseo. An dtuigeann tu?" I am here, I am here. Do you understand?
Murphy stares up at Connor shaking his head, his eyes full of pain and trust, and his lip trembles, "Wha' h-happened?"
He hesitates, but knows that he has to give it to Murphy straight, otherwise his brother will know that he's lying, "Ye got hit by a car, Murph. Pushed me outta tha' way, and ye got hit." Connor can see Murphy processing all of this, and he continues quietly, "Ye broke yer legs, both 'a them. So you've gotta stay here fer a while, jus' till ye get better, but I'll be here too. 'm not gonna leave ye, an' we'll be here together."
"You okay?"
Connor almost breaks down into tears at that moment, but he manages to hold it together long enough, "I'm fine, thanks to ye. Macho Murph, saving yer big brother like that."
His slight taunt has the reaction that he's been hoping for. Murphy's face frowns slightly, the drugs making him sluggish, and he strains to shake his head, "I'm th' oldest… Yer my little brother… ye eegit." Then Murphy lifts one of his arms up slightly, and just looks at Connor.
He knows what his brother wants. Connor leans down, and pulls Murphy into a very careful hug. Connor holds the hug for a minute or two, before pulling away, and messing with the bedrail for a minute, until he finally manages to get it down. He scoots his chair closer to Murphy's bed, and then leans his torso against the bed.
"Yer gonna be fine, Murph."
There's a beat of silence, before Murphy replies, "Okay."
It sounds like he doesn't really believe it, and Connor knows that the sinking feeling in his heart means he doesn't really believe it either.
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Murphy lies still, and listens to the sound of Connor breathing beside him.
He'd woken up in pain and confused, but Connor had been there, and that'd been all he needed. Everything hurt though.
The room was silent, bar all the monitors that were beeping quietly, and Murphy felt an overwhelming surge of fear go through him. He wanted to leave his hospital. He wanted Connor to just take him home, and for them to eat blackberries along the lane, and for everything to be okay. Murphy can feel tears building in his eyes, and he resists the urge to sniffle.
Everything is wrong.
The heart monitor began to beep even faster, and Murphy was breathing heavily, and suddenly Connor was on his feet.
"What's goin' on? What—Murphy, oh God, please, please, what's wrong?"
But he couldn't reply, he could only stare at his brother helplessly as he paced, and the pain started to rise up. An alarm went off on one of the machines, a shrill one that made Murphy try to reach up his arms to put them over his ears. But his limbs were too heavy, and he could only left his arm up for a few seconds, before it flopped down on the bed.
His back arched up then against his will, the panic that was going through him making everything melt into some form of black and white.
He can't breathe, he can't breathe, he can't breathe, and he needs to go home. "H-home," Murphy gasps out, and Connor is hovering over him, glancing anxiously at the door. His brother's hands dance above his body, but Connor is too terrified to touch him, Murphy can tell, and the choking feeling builds up.
Connor's lips are moving, and it looks like he's shouting something, but Murphy can't hear anything else. He reaches out with his last ounce of strength, and brushes his fingers against Connor's hand. His brother's gaze snaps back down to lock with Murphy's, and he grasps his hand tightly, as people start to flood into the room.
Murphy's only looking at Connor though.
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Connor is screaming.
He's shouting and yelling for someone to do something, because he doesn't know why Murphy suddenly started moaning and gasping, and it's scaring him.
"Do something!" His ribs let out a jolt of pain at the force of his yell, but Connor couldn't care less, "What th' fuck is wrong with him?" All the while, Murph just stares up at him, terrified, and Connor doesn't think that he can take another minute of this, "He can't fuckin' breathe!"
Then one of the doctors straps an oxygen mask on Murphy's face, and a nurse readies a syringe, "He's having a panic attack, honey. He must just be a little overwhelmed. We're just going to give him something to calm him down, okay?"
Connor understands then.
He moves forward, and blocks the nurse, saying, "No, no, let me calm him down. He just doesn't like hospitals, ye jus' gotta let me try, before ye drug him. Please, I can get him ta calm down," Connor holds Murphy's hand tightly, and begs the nurse to give him at least a minute.
After a second, she nods, and takes a step back, and then Connor is bending over Murphy, and whispering in his ear, "C'mon, Murph, c'mon, ye gotta calm down. This is jus' like one 'a yer nightmares, right? Ye get all worked up, an' then ye calm down, ye jus' gotta remember tha' I'm here. Yer gonna be fine, okay, yer gonna be fine. Ye jus' need ta take some deep breaths, an' let yerself relax, an' then you'll be grand. 's about tha' breathing, I've said it ta ye a million times."
Connor runs a hand through his brother's hair, and can already feel him beginning to wind down. The monitors begin to lose their urgent beeping, and that in itself has an effect on Murphy, "Tha' its, Murph, ye just concentrate on yer breathing. Ma'll be here soon, an' she'll sort everythin' out. We'll get ye fixed, an' we'll be home in no time. C'mon, take some deep breaths in, I know ye can do it. Jus' think about how much attention yer gonna get from tha' hot nurses, and from yer big brother."
Beginning to calm down, Murphy tried to give Connor a weak smile, and he grins back, "There ye have it, Murph. See, yer grand now, jus' a little hiccup. 's gonna be fine, I promise, 's not gonna even be tha' bad… Good, Murph, that's good breathing, ye feelin' better?"
Only when he received a groggy nod from his brother, did some of the pressure in Connor's chest start to release. He turns for a moment, to give the staff in the room a weary smile, "Ye jus' gotta know how ta talk him outta these things. He gets all worked up, an' then he can't calm himself down quick enough."
"He's lucky to have you as a brother."
The words hit Connor hard and fast, and he bites his lip. Murphy is drifting off to sleep, exhausted by his 'episode,' and all Connor wants to do is fall asleep alongside him. He lets himself drop back into the chair, and strokes Murphy's hand with his thumb gently.
"'s the other way round. I'm lucky ta have him."
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Was that okay?
I'll have the next chapter up in the next few days, but would absolutely love to hear any feedback or thoughts that you guys have on this :) It really helps me to write faster. As always, apologies for any grammar or spelling mistakes. The small bit of Irish in this is translated by me, but as far as I know, there's no mistakes!
Review…?
Thanks for reading,
ArmedWithMyComputer xx