Author's Chapter Notes:

I still do not own Sonic the Hedgehog or anything that you may recognize. I probably do not own many things you do not recognize. I did not mean to infringe on anyone else's right, and I am not gaining anything from putting this up. I also have no money, in case you were wondering. And the baby talk is not misspelled.

Bring! Bring!

Crimson red eyes opened sluggishly as their owner tried to remember where he was and what had happened to make him hurt so.

Oh yeah, I remember. I was fighting Black Doom and was too close to dodge that missile….

Shadow the Hedgehog sat up from the couch that he'd pretty much passed out on the night before and rubbed the back of his sore neck, trying to moisten his dried out muzzle at the same time. He looked around the small, beat up apartment he'd rented.

Bring! Bring!

It took him a second to realize that the phone was ringing, as he wasn't really up to snuff that morning, in a matter of speaking.

Now the only question was: Where had he put the phone?

A short search ended up finding it in the refrigerator. Shadow did not know, or want to know, how it had ended up there, but he bet his life the Faker had something to do with it. Faker always had something to do with the strange, weird happenings that had been his life ever since Eggman had released him from the cryogenic sleep in Prison Island.

He yawned and brought the phone to his ear. "Hello?" he asked sleepily.

"Shadow?"

A bad feeling filled Shadow's being; Rouge was almost bad as Faker when it came to filling his life with misery and woe.

"Shadow, remember that favor you owe me?"

"No."

"Now, now Shadow. Don't tell me the Ultimate Life Form has forgotten, has he?"

The quills on Shadow's back bristled. In truth, he did remember the day Rouge decided he owed her a favor; but he could have gotten out of the trap himself and he had always thought that it was very suspicious that she'd shown up right then and knew exactly how to get out of the trap.

"Well, Shadow," Rouge continued, not letting him answer. "It's time to return that favor. Meet me at Tails' workshop, alright? Ciao!"

"…Whatever," Shadow muttered, even though Rouge had already hung up on him. He sighed. He might as well get this over with. Shadow took his ruby red Chaos Emerald and placed his hand atop it.

"Chaos Control!" He said, and disappeared.

He reappeared in the Mystic Ruins, feeling greatly put out and very frustrated. He just hoped that whatever this 'favor' was, it would be over with quickly and that it would permanently get Rouge the Bat off of his back and out of his life.

Although Rouge's instructions were to meet her at Tails' workshop, Shadow didn't actually expect her to want him to go in; furthermore, he knew that he'd gotten there faster than she had, and if he stayed out here, he could catch her and force her to stop beating around the bush. So it was that he missed his one and only opportunity to escape the continuing nightmare his life was threatening to become, and he never even realized it.

Five minutes later, Rouge flew into view and landed near him, that infuriating smirk on her face. "Well, prompt as usual, aren't we, handsome?" she cooed.

Shadow glared at her. "What do you want?" he asked bluntly.

Rouge motioned for him to enter the workshop. "Come inside and you'll see," she said, almost teasingly.

Shadow sighed loudly and dramatically and followed the silver bat into Tails' workshop. Tails entered the foyer, grinning until he locked eyes with Shadow. The fox's grin melted into a look of bewilderment, then shock, then finally decided to rest with horror.

"No, Rouge," he said, quite adamantly.

"Now, now," the bat said, wagging her finger. "I know he's not much, but he's the best I could get on such short notice."

Shadow was growing quite tired of being left out of the loop. "What is it, Rouge?" he snapped, his eyes blazing.

Tails looked over at Rouge almost pleadingly, but she just smiled and gestured to Shadow. Tails let out a loud dramatic sigh that rivaled the one Shadow had used earlier and motioned for the ebony hedgehog to follow him into the area the vulpine currently had posing as a living room.

His eyes narrowing, the hedgehog followed the two-tailed fox into the room. His eyes widened again and his mouth dropped when he saw…

"What?" he spluttered, staring down at a small, cobalt blue hedgehog, who was looking back at him with equal interest. Next to the blue one was a small pink hedgehog, who was grabbing him by his tail and trying to pull him over to where a makeshift tea set was sitting across the room. Over in an opposite corner a small red echidna was sitting, glancing at the floor, for all intents and purposes completely unconcerned with the other two.

Tails gulped nervously and explained the events of the past few hours to Shadow.

"…And I need someone to watch them for a few days so I can find a way to change them back," Tails finished.

Shadow looked at Tails. He looked at Rouge. He looked at the kids.

"No." he said, and started out the door.

"Hold on there, Shads," Rouge said, standing between him and his freedom. She pointed at his furry chest and said very clearly, "Now, listen, you owe me, Shadow. And I'm cashing in the favor. You either help Tails take care of his little brats—I mean, children, or so help me, I will show everyone the pictures of you at the Christmas party!"

Shadow blinked slowly. "I didn't go to a Christmas party," he said finally, confusion heavily laden in his voice.

"Well, actually, they're pictures of Sonic, but the lighting is so bad you can't really tell the difference," Rouge said slyly.

Shadow flinched. Of all the horrible things that could happen to him, he really couldn't think of a fate worse than people seeing Sonic doing boneheaded things and thinking it was Shadow. Rouge had him cornered, and she knew it.

"Fine," Shadow agreed. "But you will burn those pictures."

"Consider them going up in smoke," Rouge said, giving him that awful smirk again. "You boys have fun now. Ciao!" With that, she flew out the door and vanished from sight.

Tails fidgeted nervously for a few awkward seconds, then muttered something about needing to get to work and disappeared down his stairs to his lab.

And Shadow was alone with three toddlers. He had three seconds of silence. Three. Seconds. Then Sonic was pulling on his leg. Shadow looked down at him coldly. "What?" he asked.

"I hungy," Sonic said with big, innocent eyes. "I wan sumtin' eat."

"Then eat," Shadow said, extremely annoyed.

"You gots do it," Sonic said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "You gots make me chiwy doggies."

"I don't want to make you chili dogs," Shadow told him.

"You gots ta, I starvy!" Sonic insisted.

Amy, his pink partner-in-annoyance, clapped her little paws and nodded. "I wants eatin' too!" she declared.

Even Knuckles nodded firmly and held his hand out, demanding sustenance.

Knowing he was outmanned and outgunned, Shadow sighed and decided discretion was the better part of valor. "Fine. I'll make you something to eat."

Not at all satisfied with the promise of food, Sonic grinned up at Shadow and demanded more. "Chiwi doggies!"

"Whatever," Shadow muttered, not at all eager to make chili dogs.

However, a trip to Tails' kitchen showed that the fox, obviously, did not have a strong desire to eat well. A can of tofu, a half-empty bottle of ketchup, and a green, wooly thing (that according to the label, used to be some sort of tuna salad) were the only remotely edible things in the whole area.

Which, while it might prove an acceptable feast to a two-tailed fox with an IQ of 400, was certainly not good enough for the picky little twits Shadow was stuck with. He knew that for a fact, because they'd all been more than happy to inform him of its inadequateness when he'd served them platefuls of Tofu Tuna Ketchup. Ungrateful little heathens.

This meant, that without a doubt, Shadow had to go to the grocery store.