NARUSASU HAS WON!

ENTER UZUMAKI NARUTO!!!

I, Uzumaki Naruto, am completely bewildered; confused; and whatever other words could be used to describe this situation. I was in the middle of making out with another prostitutes costumer; some overweight guy who thought that having a teenager one third of his age kiss him was somehow worth two hundred dollars; when suddenly there were SHOUTS from downstairs. No, folks, I don't mean, our usual, 'Ahn, ooh, harder!' Or, even, 'OH FUCKING GOD OW!'; Trust me. We have our share of those, thanks to Gaachan. I mean, serious, Lee caused, ' YAYNESS!'. Which means only one thing. New costumer/ and or Neji. Either or is fine with me. One hand; hey, more cash for Gamachan! On the other hand, pretty boy to get news from/Pretend to molest. I push away from the old coot infront of me; hey, he's had his kiss, now he has to pay up! He's disgruntled- heh, funny word, eh? Disgruntled? But gives me the cash anyways. Ha. So there. I blow him a kiss, flash him The Eyes; and trot off; Peh, as if!;- I quickly run downstairs, orange scarf swinging behind me. Have I ever said how much I love that scarf? It has a fox face! Wait, where was I? Oh yeah. I swing down the banister; much less painful then you think. Helps when you make sure it's your ass that's against the banister when you straddle it, not your Mr.Big. Soon enough, there I am; sprawled on the black carpet, heh, should have planned my landing better, neh? Oh well, what's done is done!

I glance up; expecting to see A) Costumer making out with Lee or B) Neji patting Lee awkwardly on the head, but definitely not C) Hot, cute, rich-boy glaring at Lee. Oooh. Yeah. There's Neji too. Forgot. Easy to forget when you're staring at the ass of a sex god. I inwardly slapped myself on the cheek; the wonderful, smexy Uzumaki Naruto does not stare at a mere costumer as if he is worthy of worship. Even if their glare burns like the intensity of a thousand suns- OI, BAKA! NO POETRY! With a huff, I stand up on my feet- APPARENTLY, I'm not even WORTHY of acknowledging! Resisting the urge to scream out, 'DAMNIT, PAY ATTENTION TO ME!' I instead stare meaningfully at their backs until they get my point. Aaaany second now.

Well, fuck. Seems like they're mighty good at ignoring me.

Time for plan B.
" HEY NEJI!"

And I cling. I cling like cling has never clinged before. I cling like cling clings when it's in a mood to cling.

And, predictably, Neji goes red, Lee laughs, and costumer goes wide eyed with shock and disgust. AH. So the cute guy; would have thought it was a girl if he hadn't been so flat in the boob department; is one of those. A high up, snobby, rich, 'I've never seen anything more then a girl pecking a guy on the lips', guy. UGH. I HATE those! Even when they have slanted, pretty dark eyes which remind me of the darkest of snowy black nights… ARGH! NOT AGAIN! Neji, of course, right now, has pried himself away, and is rolling his eyes, sending a glare at the other boy as if to warn him not to say anything. Wait, I get it now. I GET it!!! Richboy Neji's friends started worrying about where he kept disappearing to, so they send the bravest of them all to see what was up! And, of course, me and Lee were meant to help assuage the friends worries that we were tainting his mind.

Eheh. As if.

My grin grew wider; if possible; and I detatched myself completely from Neji, now striding confidently towards the other boy. An inch taller; no problem; my only costumer… the fat old man was someone elses I took of their hands… , Sai, is two inches taller then me, and he's never gotten the delusion I'm submissive before. Well, maybe once. Or twice. Three times was all! But with this guy… … … I fixed on my sultriest grin, and leaned in so that my mouth was by his ear, and whispered,

" You one of Neji chan's friends?"

And holy piece of crap he fainted.

He's lying on MY couch right now, face pale; though that might be natural for him; and his eyes closed as he breathes softly in and out, one hand on his chest and the other loosely by his side. He murmers something under his breath; is he still fainted, or is he in some sort of deep sleep? I straddle his waist; and Neji, returning from the living room, tugging a heart moniter behind him; Where the FUCK did he get that? ; gives me the oddest look while attatching the pump to his arm. Suddenly, I stop him, and the Hyuuga gives me yet another odd look; but I know what I'm doing. I lean over, so that my face is only an inch away from the girly boys face, then shout,
"WAKY WAKY!"

What happened next SO wasn't planned.

Sasukes eyes flew open as a loud noise blared in his ears, and he dove upwards; to find something warm against his lips. Something inside his mouth… a tongue? He pressed upwards a bit, feeling a bit confused as to why he was kissing- Wait a MINUTE! His eyes flew open, as he coughed out with shock, and pushed the intruder of his private space away, gagging as he wiped his lips off with the back of his hand- and found himself staring at the loud blond model from earlier.

Well, he had to be a model. Tanned skin, a hot black wife beater, though the orange shorts and the scarf seemed slightly immature, blond hair which spiked up and hung over his eyes, and the odd, very odd whisker marks on his cheeks lending the boy a feral appearance… … … Yes. This was model material. At least, that had been his initial impression. Until he opened his mouth.

Then, that impression had fallen right through the roof. A more loud, annoying creature he'd never seen, and it was his every intention to turn heel and run away, ignoring Neji's warning glare- when the unindentifiable creature had suddenly crept up to him when he was unaware, looking shockingly different from the image he'd represented only moments before, and murmered a question in a sultry tone; what it was, he was unaware, because he'd already been knocked unconscious by the idiotic blond. NO, he hadn't fainted- Uchiha do NOT faint! He'd merely been knocked unconscious by that overhyperactive prostitute which had most probably ended up somehow tossing him to the floor and knocking his head against it. Never mind the lack of headache. He was SURE he had it ALL figured out. He KNEW he was right this time- Uchiha's are never wrong.

Right?

… … But. What the hell. He found himself gaping dumbly; er, staring in shock; Uchiha's don't gape; at the brightly colored boy, and when he snapped out of it, he opened his mouth to complain; only to find the other'd beaten him to the punch.

" YOU BASTARD! You stole a free kiss!" The Uchiha guy; as Neji had told me his name was, Sassy or somethin' ; stared at me as if I was the one who'd gotten a kiss stolen. No way in heck. It was HIS fault! HE was the one to duck his head forward and… … I kept back a grin at the memory of that kiss. Allright, it hadn't been THAT bad. A bit sloppy, maybe, a little tiny bit amature on the other boys side… but… it was allright, he supposed. But that wasn't the point. Uchiha Sassy had taken a kiss from the greatness of ME, and dared to look affronted; shocked, DISGUSTED!? The ASS! The… …. … I stared at the back of his hair from where I'd fallen onto the floor the second time that day. That DUCK ASS!

" I stole a kiss? YOU were the one who chose to place himself ontop of me in a way that guarunteed the fact that when I started with shock, that we would be forced into a liplock! You … … blond… DOBE!"

Woah, fancy language … … wait… did he just call me… … twitch. Twitch twitch.

Twitch Twitch Twitch. Now Lee was staring at me with fear, cowering slightly as he paused; then ran off to do something or other far, far away from here. GOOD. He probably didn't want to see what was about to occur. I don't much care for violence, unless provoked; but against a, a, a, a, TEME DUCK ASS FROM HELL, bring it ON! And so, giving a battle cry, I lept apon the evil raven haired smex god, shaking him repeatedly. He's shaking me violently right back, and I suppose it looks like some sort of odd ancient embrace; but trust me, it's not. Right now, I'm pretty sure both me and the Uchiha mean complete pain and harm towards one another.

" TEME TEME TEME!"

" DOBE DOBE DOBE!

Yeah, I know- short chapter- but I had to finish off the last twelve paragraphs before school; so. You can trust in me- updates will be much faster, if anyone's still interested in this story. Hate it or love it- PLEASE still review!