The instant Shadow set foot in the store, Sonic and Amy disappeared into the thicket of the shelves.
Shadow decided not to panic; after all, it wasn't a big store, and if anyone tried to make off with them, they'd have both the little brats back in his arms by morning. It simply wasn't worth the effort to try to hunt them down.
At least Knuckles seems to be staying nearby, Shadow mused to himself. The Echidna pulled on Shadow's leg and pointed to something over in the vegetable aisle. Frowning, Shadow allowed himself to be led over to a large display of cantaloupes.
Visibly excited now, Knuckles grabbed a cantaloupe, hugged it to him, and smiled at Shadow, saying, "Gotta 'tect Massa Emered."
Shadow blinked slowly. "That's not the Master Emerald," he informed the Echidna.
Knuckles frowned. "Is!" he insisted.
"That is a cantaloupe," Shadow explained.
The red furred guardian shook his head. "Emered!" He insisted, hugging the cantaloupe to his body. "Mine!"
"Whatever. You keep the Master Cantaloupe," Shadow muttered as he looked around for food. He had a sneaking suspicion that the toddlers would be unhappy with eating cantaloupe, even if he could convince Knuckles to let them devour it, which was doubtful. The guardian took his duties very seriously. Even if he could no longer discern the difference between a powerful emerald and a cantaloupe.
Shadow found Amy in aisle three, the make-up department. She had found several tubes of lipstick and had somehow opened them. She looked like a freaky clown reject, and the clerk was less than happy with the state of the lipstick tubes. For some reason that Shadow could not comprehend, the clerk seemed to think that it was his fault that Amy had ruined the make-up department. This was beyond Shadow's comprehension; he certainly hadn't told Amy to go and play with the shop's lipstick!
Even though the ebony hedgehog was, quite obviously, innocent of all wrongdoing in this regard, the clerk still made him pay for all the lipstick tubes Amy had ruined.
Sonic was found soon after, at the meat aisle. Somehow, the cobalt blue hedgehog had ripped open a package of baloney and had pasted it all over the wall. He even managed to get a couple pieces onto the ceiling.
This meant that already Shadow was paying for a cantaloupe, twelve tubes of lipstick, and a package of baloney, and he still didn't have anything for the toddlers to eat.
He really didn't have to worry about Amy wasting away, he reflected. She'd eaten six of those twelve sticks of lipstick; so she should be good for a while longer.
Shadow wondered if he should simply divide the remaining six sticks of lipstick to the boys and be done with it, but decided that might not be for the best. Sonic and Knuckles weren't the type to eat lipstick. Maybe he should pick up a block of Styrofoam…
Shadow finally found a pack of hotdogs, buns, and a can of processed chili, and decided to get out of the store while the getting was good.
Later, he would have to remember to kill the evil coward who came up with the idea to put candy in the checkout lanes.
Finally, however, Shadow started to put his items on the revolving checkout counter. He put on the lipstick tubes, the baloney package, the chili dog materials, two nutty buddy bars and a bag of M-D-M's, and then he picked up Knuckles and put him on the checkout counter as well, as he couldn't get the Echidna to let go of his Master Cantaloupe.
The checkout lady looked at Shadow disapprovingly and cleared her throat. "Sir, would you please remove your child from the checkout lane?" she asked haughtily.
Shadow really, really regretted leaving his six shooter at home. But it wasn't to be helped now, and he quickly yanked the cantaloupe out of Knuckles hands and put the guardian on the floor.
Knuckles shrieked in anger and started punching Shadow's leg.
"Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!" the Echidna yelled over and over.
Shadow felt his left eyelid start to twitch.
"Mis'er Adow, I gotta go potty," Amy said sweetly, her hands positioned so she could 'hold it in', so to speak.
"Sadoe, I wants yummy yum cookie!" Sonic demanded loudly.
"Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!" Knuckles screamed, still pounding Shadow's leg.
The lady couldn't seem to find a price tag for the Master Cantaloupe. She kept looking for it…and looking…and looking…
Shadow snapped. He reached into his pocket, took out a hundred dollar bill, threw it on the table, and snapped, "Here! There is no way I owe you more than that! Just keep the bloody change and give me my stuff!"
The clerk gave him a look that could clearly be identified as meaning, 'What is your problem?' and handed him the precious cantaloupe, which Knuckles eagerly accepted as a peace offering.
After he hit Shadow one more time as a warning, of course.
As soon as Knuckles was calm, Shadow rushed Amy over to the bathroom and luckily, she was able to go in and do her business without adult supervision, an ability which relieved Shadow to no end.
Sonic was a little trickier. He was livid that there would be no cookies (Shadow was not going through that checkout lane ever again), but Shadow finally bribed him into silence by promising a trip to an ice cream vendor on the way home, where Sonic would most definitely be getting chili dogs.