Bolin was smarter than he seemed, Korra thought. For all that he affected a goofy grin and acted like a complete clown, he paid attention. Today he played up his usual act more than usual, but Korra found herself touched by the little things. He somehow knew her favorite type of ramen, and after he whispered to the musicians in the corner they took a break from jazzy melodies and switched to an old Water Tribe song that felt like home. "What did you tell them?" Korra wondered aloud.
"That it's your birthday." Bolin wrapped her in yet another hug. "C'mon, don't think so terribly of me that I'd spill all your secrets to a bunch of strangers."
She had to smile at that. Mako rolled his eyes. His expression was softer than she was accustomed to. Up until last night, she hadn't seen Mako's gentler side, but she'd been impressed by his fierce defense of his baby brother. Now, feeling a similar sentiment as he gazed at her made her stomach twist.
"I guess I can't be part of the Fire Ferrets anymore, huh," she said. It wasn't really a question, but the unspoken part was: so are we still friends?
She'd never had friends, not in the usual sense. Oh, as a very young girl, she'd played with her kin in the tribes. But after that, she'd been The Avatar, all her time filled with training and practice. The other Water Tribe kids had learned to treat her with respect, which was nice, but it wasn't the same as friendship. Korra had learned to enjoy the company of adults, rather than that of friends her own age. She didn't really know how this worked.
Mako shrugged. "Yeah," he said. "We'll be all right." He smiled at her, and her belly did that fluttery thing again. "But hey, now we have a new thing to occupy us, right, Bolin?"
Bolin nodded. "That's right," he said. "I figure Amon matters more than some lousy competition."
Their words sent warmth and affection coursing through her. She'd only known these boys for a short time, yet here they are, supporting her seemingly unconditionally. "Right," Korra said, only a little surprised by her tight throat. She cleared it and reached out to grasp their hands. "Then I'm nominating you two as my primary investigative partners! If you're interested, of course," she added.
"Woo-hoo!" Bolin punched the air. "Time to kick some Equalist butt!"
Korra rolled her eyes and slurped another mouthful of noodles. Some of the ramen shop's other patrons glanced at them askance.
"I'm all for it," Mako said mildly. "What Amon's doing is wrong. But I've got a few reservations. First, isn't there an official force doing the same? Or shouldn't there be?"
"Oh." That hadn't occurred to Korra. "Does it matter? We can just do our own thing."
"But this isn't some Avatar legend where you just have to win a battle," Mako reminded her. "This is about people's lives. You're new to Republic City, you don't get what it's like here. This is as much about politics as it is about anything else."
Korra made a face and flicked a noodle at him. Mako caught it, frowning. "I'm not interested in politics," she told him impatiently. "I'm interested in revenge."
"Is that what the Avatar's about?" Mako asked her. "Revenge? Or balance? I'm just saying, Amon's not really the dangerous one. Killing or capturing him would get you revenge, but it wouldn't solve the real problem: he's popular. That's the danger. Why are people supporting him? Did you hear the applause after he took Zolt's bending away?"
It sounded rhetorical, but Korra rolled her eyes and pounced anyway. "Because they're jealous," Korra said flatly. "They just don't get the bending is, is something important, and—"
"Just think about it," Mako said, his tone disturbingly gentle. "And more importantly, remember that you're the Avatar. That's a political position, whether you like it or not. You have to think, Korra."
"Go easy on her," Bolin protested. "She's had a long day."
Korra scowled and opened her mouth, about to retort that she didn't do patience and caution and all of that old-fart hand-wringing. Then she looked down at her own hands. She cupped her left hand, twisted it, and opened her palm again, feeling the dull throb of blocked chi where there should have been a flame.
She hadn't been that kind of girl, and look where it had gotten her.
"All right," she said through gritted teeth, "fine. I'll think about it."
Mako looked relieved. Bolin smiled nervously at both of them. "Good," he said. "So, tomorrow we can go to the police and find out what they know, and then we can decide what to do next. Maybe infiltrate another meeting?"
Korra shuddered. "I can infiltrate another meeting," she said. "I'm not sure you two should come along."
Bolin frowned. "But—"
"We can argue about it tomorrow," Mako suggested. He squeezed Korra's shoulder and stood. "You should probably get some sleep. You look dead on your feet."
She did feel tired, Korra realized. It probably had something to do with having spent all of last night bawling her eyes out. Where there had been a raw, savage pain, now she felt a dull ache. It was still awful, and it still hurt, but at least things weren't as bad as they could be. Bender or no, she had friends, and she had a game plan.
"Deal," she said.
—
The next morning dawned bright and clear. Korra pulled herself out of bed with a groan. It was too early. Way, way too early.
But she had to try.
Tenzin had proposed, earlier, that what she was dealing with was a chi-block, not a true removal of her bending—and if that was true, then like Avatar Aang, she could potentially overcome it. And that meant spiritual training.
I should have known, she thought grumpily. Even without my bending, I still can't escape training.
For a moment the internal joke made her throat tighten and her eyes water. She forced herself to swallow the pain and walked down to the pavilion. Tenzin and Jinora were there already, eyes closed and chests rising and falling in tandem. She joined them as quietly as she could manage.
This early in the morning, the stone floor was painfully cold, and her nose wouldn't stop itching, but Korra closed her eyes anyway and tried to clear her mind. Instead, visions of Amon filled the backs of her eyelids: his terrifying mask, his cold voice, the feeling of fingertips pressed against her neck and forehead—
Korra's eyes flew open. For a few dizzying minutes she blinked wildly, unable to clear the terrible memories, but then her mind cleared and she could meet Tenzin's eyes. He was gazing at her, eyes unreadable, from across their small circle. Korra blushed and closed her eyes again, chastising herself.
You are a smooth lake, she intoned mentally in Tenzin's voice. You are a smooth lake, reflecting, unmoving, quiet.
This time, she tried to focus on the flow of her chi. The spiritual stuff had never been her strong suit, but Korra wondered if it was always this difficult to find her chi. It was there, though, as it had to be—she was still alive, after all, she reminded herself. When she managed to grasp it, it felt—different, somehow. Thinner, slower. Or was it? Korra wished fiercely that she hadn't neglected her meditation so much, before. Now it was hard to tell what was just a trick of her miserable imagination.
At last Tenzin called a break. Korra opened her eyes, surprised; the time had passed relatively quickly. They walked down to the kitchen in search of breakfast in companionable silence. As Korra ducked through the door, her eyes went wide. They had a guest. "Councilman Tarrlok!" she said.
Pema did not look pleased. Tenzin's wife was standing by the counter with her arms crossed and her lips pursed. Tarrlok, meanwhile, was sitting at the table with a plate of eggs. Ah. Korra could add one and one to get two; clearly Tarrlok had taken advantage of the "no airbender turns away a hungry visitor" rule.
"Good morning, Avatar," he said, standing up to bow to her. As always, his voice was as oily as his hair. "I apologize for the intrusion—"
"As you should," Tenzin grumbled behind her.
"—But I'd heard about your awful encounter with Amon, and I wanted to talk to you about it."
Korra frowned. She hadn't interacted with Tarrlok too much yet, but his solicitousness unsettled her, as did Tenzin's stiffness when dealing with the man. Still, she needed information from him about Amon, too. "It's okay, Tenzin," she told her mentor. "We do need to talk." She turned to Pema. "Pema, do you mind us talking in the kitchen? I'm famished."
The woman's sharp eyes flicked to Tenzin, then back to Korra. She smiled. "Of course not, Korra," Pema said. "Jam or butter for your toast?"
Korra took a seat at the table across from Tarrlok; Tenzin sat to her right. She waited until they each had a mug of tea and a steaming plate of toast with eggs before saying, "So. What exactly have you heard?"
"That he stripped you of your bending." Tarrlok didn't cushion the blow, and even though she'd expected it, Korra still winced. "I…" He spread his hands. "I did not want to believe it, but…"
Korra nodded. "It's true," she said. She kept her voice as calm and authoritative as she could manage. Korra didn't want pity, especially not from strangers. If Tarrlok noticed that her voice wobbled a little, he had the grace not to point it out.
"Tenzin has told the council, but it's not public knowledge yet," Tarrlok said. "I didn't want this to be an attack, so rather than bring you to a stuffy council meeting, I thought I'd pay a house call myself." He cleared his throat. "This means that Amon is far more dangerous than previously thought. I've been warning the council about the Equalist threat for months now. This could finally make them listen to me, finally give us cause to undertake direct offensives against the Equalists."
That sounded perfect to Korra, though judging by Tenzin's squirming, he wasn't particularly happy about it. "You want to use my story to prompt political action," she said, just to make sure she was clear.
Tarrlok nodded eagerly. "Imagine," he said. "The press conference: Avatar Korra announces a shocking attack! Amon destroying benders' powers, and robbing us of our avatar! Avatar Korra announcing that she'd down but not out—she'll lead the task force and help us hunt down these terrorists!" He leaned back. "What do you think, Avatar?"
"I like it," Korra said slowly. "Down but not out. Yeah." Mentally, she played back the words in the pro-bending radio announcer's voice. Time for a comeback!
"Task force?" Tenzin spoke up for the first time, his sharp voice recalling Korra to the present conversation. "What do you intend to do, Tarrlok?"
The politician shrugged. "We have suspicions about a number of Equalist targets," he said. "Strongholds, places where they train chi-blockers or stockpile weapons. With emergency powers we can go after them, shut them down."
"That sounds good to me," Korra said. Tenzin's hands twitched. Before he could interrupt, she continued, "I won't just be following you around like some convenient totem of Avatar-endorsement, you know. I want a say in what the task force does, and all that. I want access to the intelligence reports you're talking about." She didn't really know anything about politics, Korra admitted to herself, but she would figure it out. If she was going to be the justification for the task force's existence, then she had a duty to understand what they were doing.
He smiled at her. "I'm glad that we have an understanding, Avatar Korra," he said, reaching out to extend a hand to her. Korra shook it, firmly.
To her right, she thought she could hear Tenzin groan. She'd need to talk to him about this later. But really, wasn't this a good thing? It meant tackling the problem, and facing forward. It sounded like just what the healer had ordered: a healthy way to keep occupied…
She could deal with Tenzin's lectures later.