The Makings of Evil
Part Seven
Liverpool, September 1759 ~ The Birthday
The months went past and I never told anyone what Joshua did to me that night. I still thought about it all the time, not understanding why he had done it. I had gone down to the kitchen in the morning for breakfast not knowing there was a mark on my cheek, but Mrs Allard had pointed it out straight away.
"Goodness child!" she exclaimed. "What have you done to yourself?"
"I-I just...walked into a door. I was not looking where I was going." I slowly sat down and look across the table at Mary, the young maid who had tried to hide a black eye the morning after they arrived. She knew I was lying, she knew what was going on. It had happened to her too, but for her it had never stopped.
The months flew past to September. Our routines and lives had firmly settled in the home of the Collins family. Joshua had never raised a hand to me again, but that look that made me so uneasy never stopped. I thought it best to just avoid him when I could but every morning I had to light the fire in his room before he woke. I had never prayed so hard in my life that when I was in there he wouldnt waken. The servants were already busy in the kitchen, another celebration of some sort it seemed though I had no idea what. There were always so many parties, dinners and balls to prepare for. After I had lit all the fires that morning I began my chores, told to clean everything to utter perfection, for tonight the grandest guest would arrive and a few very special guests. I was scrubbing the floors as i did every second day and I heard a sharp voice behind me.
"Angelique!" I turned slowly and saw Joshua standing there, his large form towering over me. Slowly I moved to my feet, keeping my head low in respect.
"Yes, Sir?" I managed to stammer. He lowered his head to my level and smiled.
"Today is a special day, my son turns eight years old. Tonight many families will arrive to celebrate. Not only that, many are bringing their young daughters to meet him too in the hope one day a marriage can be arranged. You must stay out of sight. I wont have them think you are one of the girls." I kept my head facing the ground, not daring to look up.
"I will stay away, Sir. I promise." My voice was so soft and weak, he must have known I was scared of him.
"Good girl..." He grinned at me and tilted my chin up to look at him until our eyes met. His voice turned soft, almost breathless. "What a beautiful girl." He examined my face, chills running up my spine, all I wanted to do was run but I didnt dare. This felt wrong. The way he looked at me frightened me. He finally released my chin and walked away, muttering that i should not be seen. With that, I quickly finished my chores and started to take the bucket back to the kitchen. The bucket was always too heavy for me to carry. Nearby were the main stairs which the servants were forbidden to use. The servants stairs were further along the corridor and down another passage leading straight to the kitchen. The bucket was so heavy I decided to sneak down the main stairs as there was no one around. Joshua was in the library and the door was shut. I could hear an odd sound but I never questioned it, I just lifted the bucket and started down the stairs. As I turned the corner quickly I ran into Barnabas nearly throwing the dirty water over him. My eyes went to the floor at being caught on these stairs but he smiled warmly and I knew he would not tell anyone.
"Please, allow me to help you." I was taken by surprise when he took the bucket from my hands and he began to walk down the stairs with it. I took a quick look around to make sure no one would see that. I ran after him down the stairs.
"Please, please you dont have to help me." He turned and smiled at me with that little grin i loved.
"I have told you before, I will always help a lady in need of assistance." He walked out ahead of me to the kitchen and I kept looking around to make sure no one would see this, knowing I would get into serious trouble if it was seen. He placed the bucket down and turned back to face me.
"I have missed you, Angelique. I have hardly seen you since I taught you to dance that night." I could see the slight pain in his dark eyes. I knew he longed for a playmate and I wanted to be that more than ever but I remembered I must not let that happen. I remained silent while he watched me.
"Today I have turned eight, my father is bringing young ladies to the house in the hope I will like one of them. Mother said I have to dance with them all but I would much rather dance with you." I looked up when he said that and smiled, our eyes meeting and I felt something connect. Before I could answer, Mrs Allard was in the kitchen shooing Barnabas out telling him a bath had been prepared in his room for him to get ready. He gave me one last smile and went to get ready. I smiled back at him, thinking I had done it subtly but as I turned my head I saw Mrs Allard smile.
"Now, now child. You should know better than to fall for a young man like that. Ive been in domestic service all my life, I've seen it happen and the outcome is never good. You are just children, friends, for the good of yourself I suggest you never let it go any further." She gave a hearty laugh as she looks at me. "Here's me talking about love and such and you are only a young girl of six, I hardly expect you to understand. Of you go, The hall where the dance is to take place needs a good sweep." She handed me a broom and off I went. She was right, what do I know about love?
Later that night the guests began to arrive and once again I watched from my bedroom window. This time as well as the elegant women and their handsome men, were many little girls around my age, looking just like smaller versions of their mothers. Seeing these girls reminded me of Clara Montadon, my dear friend back in Martinique who my parents had been accused of murdering with their witchcraft. Even her dresses were not as stunning as these. Barnabas would most certainly fall for one of them. Slowly I walked to my bed. There would be no goodnight kiss from my parents tonight as they were down with the guests ensuring everything went well. I could hear music play to welcome the guest and I rememberd the night Barnabas had taught me to waltz. This time I knew I would not dare venture towards it, the thought of it made my cheek sting in the memory of Joshua striking it. I put my head under my cover and eventually fell asleep.
That night I dreamt of home. I had always missed it. I missed the sun. Liverpool was cold and dirty and it always seemed to rain. I missed the woods where I used to play with my father, I missed how blue the ocean was. Slowly my eyes started to open and I looked into the darkness of the wall opposite my bed. I tried to pull up my cover but this time I couldnt, as if someone was sitting on the end of the bed. I sat up slowly, scared it would be Joshua but instead I was surprised to see Barnabas and his cheeky little smile sitting at the end of my bed. My eyes went wide at seeing him but softened at his smile.
"Good evening," he said to me. "I did not mean to wake you but I missed seeing you downstairs. The girls there remind me of my mothers." I gave a gentle laugh as I imagined it.
"No one would want to marry their mothers," I replied with a gentle smirk.
"No, indeed they do not." I sat and pulled me knees to me chest and watched him slide a small wooden boat over the rippling cover like they were waves. I smiled as I watched him. He caught my eye and smiled then passed me the little boat. "I assume you already know, my father has a fishing business. Seems they are keen to get me involved." He looked at the boat in my hands. "Strange idea, I have never actually been on a fishing boat. My mother is scared I will fall into the water and drown since I was never taught to swim." I looked at him curiously, I had known how to swim for a long time.
"Do you want to take it over one day?" I copied him and made the boat sail over the sheets.
"I do not have a choice. Just now, no, not really but father said that in time I will change my mind about that. I am not sure I will. Just now I want to be ... normal, like the other boys who get to go to school and do not have a private tutor, who are allowed to play at the beach and run around in the streets." I looked properly at him and in this moment I no longer saw the young gentleman he had been brought up to be but instead a young boy who just wanted to be like the others. He looked up into my eyes and smiled a little. "Will you be my friend and play with me?" I gave a wide smile to him and nodded. I had wanted to be his friend for so long.
"I would love to, very much. Barnabas, please never tell your father." I looked into his eyes as my own eyes begged him to keep it a secret. I could see in his warm, dark eyes that our secret would be safe without him even speaking a word. I did not want to risk another strike from Joshua.
"Then lets go, right now. We can sail the boat on the lake just across the grounds." His smile had returned to his face and I smiled with him.
"It is the middle of the night and cold. You cannot swim if you fall in." He just laughed and rolled his eyes.
"We are not going swimming. Come on!" He laughed and jumped up, pulling me out of bed. I smiled and put on my shoes and I put my coat on over my nightgown. We went through the house very quietly on fear of being caught by someone. Once outside, he grinned at me and took my hand and started to run as fast as he could with me across the grounds, laughing loudly. I grinnned and ran along, very breathless when we got to the lake. He immediatly got onto his knees and put the little boat on the water. I smiled and knelt next to him watching its float on the water that reflected the moon and stars.
"Mon capitaine...," I whispered softly. He looked at me and smiled.
"A captain that has never held command before or done too much out at sea." We sat and watched the little boat side by side. It was a warm night, Autumn had not quite begun and the sounds and smells of Summer still lingered. I lay back on the grass and looked at the stars wondering of what other worlds were up there. Barnabas lay back with me. "Father said there are billions and billions of them. He said there are more than you will ever see or can begin to imagine. It is an amazing thought." I smiled and looked at him.
"That makes me feel very small, no more than a tiny dot when so much more exists." He laughed a little.
"We are, even in this world we are not more than more dots." I smiled and closed my eyes, enjoying the breeze. "Angelique, look!" I sat up quickly to see the little boat going further out, too far to reach. Barnabas sighed as he watched it.
"Do you suppose it will eventually drift to shore?" I looked at the calm lake, rather doubting it would.
"Do not worry, I can get it for you." I looked at him with a warm smile and he looked back with wide eyes.
"The water is far too cold, I will not ask you to do such a thing." I smiled and slide of my coat.
"I am your friend." I folded my coat and set it down and began to slide off my nightgown. Before I removed it, I raised my eyebrow at Barnabas who understood and very politely looked away. I folded my nightgown and stood in my underwear. Slowly I began to walk into the lake and gasped on feeling to cold water on my skin. The water got to my waist and I then started to swim for the boat. Only seconds later I had it in my hand and was paddling back to the shore. I climbed out and wrapped myself in my coat shivering slightly. Barnabas then took off his coat and put that round me too and kissed my cheek with a big smile as he took the boat.
"Thank you, Angelique. Thank you very much." I looked up at him as I moved my wet hair from my face and laughed a little.
"You must learn to swim." He smiled and nodded.
"I would if it was not for my mothers fear. I think knowing how to swim would be very useful especially since we are moving to Maine next year." I frowned at this. I never liked talking about it. There had been a lot of packing and going over the final plans. My mother often spoke to me of the large manor that the family were planning to build and the settlement that was to be created in order to expand the business. She told me the manor was to be named Collinwood and would take many years to build so until then the family was going to be living in a large house by the sea.
"Just six months until we go. It will be a long journey on the ship. Longer than the one from Martinique." He smiled at me warmly.
"One day I hope you can tell me about it. I still hope to travel the world. Ive heard many stories about India and about far out east but never have I been." I began to shiver more violenty and I nodded.
"I will tell you about everything one day, even Clara. She was a close friend who passed away from fever. There was an outbreak in that part of Fort - de - France and that is why we left." I hated to lie but I could not tell him that I was a witch or that my parents were too. We could not keep running. Barnabas noticed I was shivering and put his arm round me and began to guide me back to the house.
"I was once sick with fever. My mother and father were sure I was going to die. Mrs Allard nursed me. She made me drink strange things that tasted of the earth. There was also a doctor who came ever day. He would put small cuts on my arms and one just above my nose to let out the bad blood but I think it was the earthy drinks that helped. My mother said I will never have any brothers or sister, I am not sure why but they have become protective." I nod and think about the doctors who had tried to treat Clara but had failed. We reached the house and Barnabas took me to my room where I dried my hair with an old rag and slipped back into my nightgown. He stood by my bed and smiled as I curled up again.
"Goodnight, Angelique. Sleep well and dream sweetly."
"Goodnight, Barnabas." We smiled at each other and I felt my eyes go heavy with sleep and I began to close them. I heard him leave and close the door quietly. I listened to his soft footsteps disappear and I fell asleep with a smile on my face hoping I would wake up on time to begin my chores the next morning.