Chapter 14: Please Welcome Your New Overlord

Pain's Animal Path rounded up his remaining genin and ordered them to flee Konoha. His discussion with his former sensei had been enlightening, but now it was time for Team Oboro to get the hell out of the Leaf. He looked up once more at Jiraiya, who was fighting the puppet with wild ninjutsu that no normal human could use. However, Chiyo was good, perhaps even too good for the Toad Sage.

Billowing in steam, Pain summoned a centipede the size of Manda himself and mentally ordered it to enter the puppet and jam the mechanisms with chitin. Jointless, the metal monstrosity would fall to Gamabunta's powerful fighting style, and the centipede would hopefully escape alive. He considered whatever debt he owed to Jiraiya repaid.

With another poof of steam, Konan appeared next to him. She was kneeling, and looked like she'd seen a ghost.

"Konoha is falling," she said. "We must find your genin and leave before—"

"It is taken care of," Pain interrupted her. Together, they left the ruins of the arena and walked west to Ame, trying not to think about what was happening behind them.

.:.

Jiraiya knew the puppet was done for when that infernal clicking noise stopped. It was like the sound of a regular puppet, but metallic and magnified to the point that every movement, however minute, made a bang like a firecracker. Some ancestral spirit must have looked down and smiled.

"It's my turn now," he muttered. "Gamabunta!"

The Toad Boss nodded, promptly spewing enough oil to fill a small lake onto the puppet. Jiraiya looked back, making sure that Sakura was gone, and turned back to find the Gamayudan hardening nicely. He hadn't known for sure that Gamabunta could produce enough, but this was better than he'd expected.

"I'm out of chakra," Gamabunta informed him, panting heavily. "You go on without me!"

"Katon: Endan!" Jiraiya roared. The fireball produced was rather small and not particularly hot or fast, but the Toad Oil ignited instantly. Soon, the arena was just as hot as before, and Jiraiya was basking in the blaze. With any luck, Chiyo had been inside the thing all along, and was now a blackened corpse. Gamabunta returned to Mount Myōboku, and all was well.

Or not, because as soon as his summon left, Jiraiya realized that there was still a vast arsenal of explosives inside the puppet, as amply demonstrated by the craters around the battlefield. If they all detonated at the same time...

Jiraiya wiped the smirk off his face and broke into a run, sprinting in the general direction he knew Sakura to be in. She was about seventy meters away, fighting with a genin from Yugakure. Jiraiya grabbed her by the waist, unceremoniously slinging her over his shoulder and continuing on. The doomed ninja, one of Guren's reinforcements, looked back at the blazing, melting puppet, and felt a twinge of fear.

A twinge that exploded into panic just before the puppet exploded. From miles away, the preternaturally fast Jiraiya and his hapless cargo watched the conflagration, the former with a small sense of pride.

"... What did you do?" Sakura asked warily.

"I ripped the tag off a mattress," Jiraiya explained patiently.

"..."

"I keep one on me at all times, just in case I need to do something spectacular," he went on jocularly. "Orochimaru invented that trick; you should've seen Dan's face when his soul caught fire!"

"We can't go back to Konoha," Sakura said, her face ashen. "That guy... he said Orochimaru used the Second's resurrection technique to bring all of the dead Hokage back to life. I think... I think the Fourth Hokage just euthanized all of the ninja in the village. They're all lying on the ground, except for the genin. Well, and you. Oh, and I think Guy-sensei is still fighting the Second. But everyone else is dead!"

Jiraiya laughed, perhaps a bit hysterically. "I knew Tobirama created the mattress trick!" he complained. "Did... did you just say Minato Namikaze was resurrected?"

"Reincarnated, actually," Sakura corrected. "He's not really alive, and there was a body sacrificed to bring him back. At least, that's what the books say the technique needed."

"Yeah, well the books also say that Minato Namikaze killed over two hundred Iwa shinobi in the last war without breaking a sweat," Jiraiya interrupted. "We don't know if he could do any more, considering the Elemental Nations called for a ceasefire after that, but if the Shinobi Corps has been decimated like you said, we need to leave."

"Leave?" Sakura blurted out. "But- but Sasuke! Naruto! Kakashi! Hokage!"

"Let me put it another way: come with me, because going back is suicide," Jiraiya said, with an air of finality. "Even I don't stand a chance, and I'm a sannin. Orochimaru's probably sent Hashirama or someone after me, but right now our only hope is rounding up all of the ninja out of the village on missions and trying to put together a plan."

"How?" Sakura moaned, burying her face in her hands.

"Well, for starters, I'm the GALLANT AND NOBLE JIRAIYA OF THE SANNIN!" Jiraiya shouted, employing a Guy-style genjutsu to make rainbows spread across the sky. "I BRING PEACE, IF NOT HARMONY! FLOWERS BLOOM AT MY HEELS! ICHA ICHA PARADISE IS SHORTLY TO BECOME A FEATURE FILM!"

He looked down at her. "But if that doesn't help, I'm also the master of Konoha's spy network. Now come on, let's go find Tsunade."

He turned and walked off. Sniffling, Sakura followed.

.:.

When Naruto awoke again, he was in a long room with a low ceiling and dim lights. A futon had been hastily rolled out for him in a corner, but his view was mostly blocked by a wooden table to his left. He scrambled to his feet, warily examining his surroundings. It looked like a badly-assembled workshop, with gears, joints and bottles of strange liquids lying about on the tables. Next to him, at the small end of the wall, was a weapon rack filled with unusual blades. Hurriedly, he grabbed a serrated katana and began advancing down the room.

"Put that back, you'll only hurt yourself," came an aged voice. Startled, Naruto dropped the sword's tip to the ground. Ahead of him was an old lady, barely taller than him. Her light purple hair and dusty cloak were all he could see of her, as she faced the table in front of her. Peeking around, Naruto was horrified to see a red-haired man laying on his back, her hands buried in his chest. His eyes were wide and glassy.

"What're you doing?" Naruto cried, lunging forward to pull the crazy woman away from the poor guy. He might have been able to, but a pair of arms encircled his waist and held him back. Naruto turned around to get a look at his assailant... a creepy, dead-eyed woman with a square mouth.

"AAAAAAAGH!" he screamed, knocking the arms off him and swinging around with the jagged sword. In response, the woman caught the blade with her bare hand and wrenched it out of his grasp. She made a clicking noise as she moved, and retreated from Naruto's petrified gaze of her own accord.

The old woman finally turned around. She was even older than Naruto had thought, with a sunken face lined with years and liver spots on her hands. When he looked at her, though, she was remarkably similar to the Old Man: elderly, powerful, and with an air of well-deserved arrogance that let you know that you were an ant in a god's presence. He liked her already.

"Do not try to use chakra," the old woman said. She indicated Naruto's left wrist, which now sported a tattoo of an Uzumaki-style swirl. "I have sealed most of your chakra away. Attempting ninjutsu would render you unconscious, and possibly kill you."

Perhaps simply to spite her, or to see if her words were true, Naruto made two hands seals.

"Katon: Gōkakyū no—"

-THUD-

When he managed to drag his eyelids open, she was staring down at him with an unreadable expression.

"You are just like your mother," said the old lady, sounding amused. "There is no ramen here, nor is there anything you can use to entertain yourself. I would prefer it if you remained quiet while I work."

"You knew my mother?" Naruto asked, somewhat curious in spite of all that had happened.

Chiyo, for it was Chiyo who had imprisoned him, grimaced. "I am not certain, but I would bet a great deal of ryō that your mother was Kushina Uzumaki. She most likely died during the Kyūbi's attack."

"What was she like, huh?" Naruto pressed. "Was she pretty? Did she have any siblings? Why are there no other Uzumaki? How did you know I like ramen? I haf'ta know this stuff, believe it!"

Chiyo pressed a forefinger into Naruto's shirt, over a stain that looked and smelled of Teuchi's product. He had the grace to look embarassed, if only for a moment.

"I need to fix Son," she told him. "Then I need to justify salvaging Leviathan, and speak with Kankurō about borrowing some of his tools. Stay out of the way."

"What's a Leviathan?" Naruto asked, sidling up to her and staring deep into Son's innards. He was filled with broken and damaged equipment, most of which were weapons but some he couldn't identify.

"Leviathan? Were you not paying attention to the fight Jiriaya had with my creation?" she asked, surprised. "It was not my best work, as it was somewhat rushed, but the firepower and armour thickness made up for it. We had to test some new chakra engines to help move the joints, and now that it's been destroyed Suna needs them back."

"Jiraiya was here?!" Naruto exclaimed. "Why didn't he try and help the Old Man?"

Chiyo ignored him.

.:.

Shikamaru, Ino and Chōji had just had their asses handed to them by Anko, and were now awakening in an out-of-the-way administrative room. Their feet and hands had been encased in some kind of crystal, making moving next to impossible. Of course, when Shikamaru wants something enough, the impossible became completely possible, and so the Nara was sitting on a desk, feet propped up comfortably in front of him. Ino and Chōji were forced to stand.

The door opened, admitting Kankurō and a woman none of them had ever met. Her green haori had one sleeve cropped short and the other far too long, and neither of them looked happy. Kankurō turned as he walked in, revealing a kid entombed in the same sort of crystal on his back in place of Crow.

"You sure he's coming?" Kankurō was saying. "I think he's still gotta finish that seal-thing."

"Lord Orochimaru's juinjutsu is prepared for three people," the woman replied. "He is accumulating the natural chakra for a fourth."

"Mmm. Can I leave this brat here?"

"Go," ordered the woman. Kankurō dropped the kid's crystal prison on the floor and walked off. Now that he had a closer look, Shikamaru identified Konohamaru Sarutobi frozen in the material. His face was perpetually frightened, reflecting the state in which he'd been captured.

"My name is Guren," said the woman. "Before Lord Orochimaru gets here, I'm supposed to tell you a few things. Now, according to the notes I've been given, you three are the heirs to the Akimichi, Nara and Yamanaka clans. Newsflash: you are heirs no more. Congratulations on your promotions to clan head."

She smiled beatifically, ignoring the fact that she'd just told them that their fathers were dead. Predictably, Ino and Chōji were shocked. Shikamaru maintained an outwardly bored exterior, but inside he was thinking furiously.

'Mitarashi disappeared during the second exam,' he mused. 'Troublesome woman. Now Konoha's been invaded, which means the Hokage is dead. The brat is here, and if we've all been named clan heads that means his grandson is probably also head of the Sarutobi clan. So Asuma-sensei is dead too. Juinjutsu... curse seal... we covered that in the Academy. The Hyūga use those, and they say Orochimaru uses them to empower and control his subordinates. Mitarashi had one too, didn't she? An experimental one? And now she's a traitor, despite Ino's dad trusting her with all that stuff when people specifically told him not to. Either she was a damn good sleeper, or this seal is bad news. And there's one for each of us.'

He exhaled, aggrieved. 'Bloody hell, we're buggered now.'

Guren grew tired of Ino's sobbing and plastered her mouth with crystal. It went on, more muted and more pained. Chōji wisely sobered up, though tears still trickled down his cheeks. Their captor went on.

"Also, as you probably know, several votes are required to install a new Hokage. Most importantly, the heads of the Hyūga, Uchiha, Aburame and Akimichi clans. The daimyō's support is valued, as is that of some others." Guren cleared her throat unnecessarily. "As acting head of the Uchiha, Sasuke has given his full support to the new candidate. The Hyūga haven't capitulated yet, but it's only a matter of time."

"You'll never have my help!" Chōji screamed, heedless of what his outburst might do. "Orochimaru will never be the Hokage!"

"Of course not, Orochimaru is beyond such station," Guren said sweetly. "You're going to put your support behind Shibi Aburame."

"Smmmbmh?" Ino said, which was probably a garbled version of 'Shibi'?

Shikamaru understood the ploy immediately. On the international stage, Konoha was an important figure. In theory, the final defence by a village against invasion was its jinchūriki. Each had two... save Konoha, who retained the most powerful: the demon fox. Shikamaru recalled fuzzily that the Nanabi was no longer Suna's, probably part of their motivation to invade with Oto. Unfortunately, after the Kyūbi's attack on Konoha the Fourth had to kill it, at the cost of his own life. No jinchūriki, no final line of defence. Of course, with only that nutjob and the weakest Bijū under their control, Orochimaru's little ploy was weak.

That meant that, even if Suna and Konoha acted as essentially one entity under Orochimaru, apperances needed to be maintained. Shikamaru could picture the story, as leaked to the other hidden villages: after dying of old age, the councilmen replaced Sarutobi with Shibi as an intermediate Hokage, until someone more viable for the job could be located. Jiraiya, maybe, or Tsunade. That is, until Orochimaru accomplished whatever he was doing in the Land of Fire. Then... then he didn't know. But getting Shibi in power seemed better than forcing Orochimaru's hand. In Shikamaru's opinion, Chōji needed to cooperate.

He said as much.

Guren smirked.

The sound of clapping echoed from down the hallway, and Oochimaru strode into the room. Shikamaru couldn't really say what made such a pale, thin man so imposing. He even looked sickly, and he was sweating despite the coolness of the room. It was like the sannin was dying.

"Bravo, you clever boy," Orochimaru said. "I knew the Nara were the smartest clan in this village!"

He motioned for Guren to release Konohamaru, which she did. The boy was asleep, and suddenly being able to breathe didn't manage to wake him up.

"Unfortunately, you don't have much of a say in the matter," Orochimaru told Chōji. "I'll bet your friend here has figured out that, too."

Without warning, his neck stretched impossibly, and he bit Ino on the collar. She screamed around the crystal gag, pupil-less blue eyes widening in pain. She writhed in her bonds for a few seconds, then sagged.

Chōji, to his credit, waited until Orochimaru was close enough before giving him a solid whack in the stomach with his impromptu shackle. Orochimaru didn't even flinch, and his fate was the same as Ino's.

He stopped at Shikamaru.

"What are your thoughts on my invasion plan?" he asked conversationally.

Shikamaru blinked. "Tactically, it's pretty good," he acknowledged. "You killed the Hokage and distracted Jiraiya, and they were the two best ninja in the village. Your summons dealt with the genin, Manda hemmed the civilians in and kept them from fleeing, Minato took care of organized resistance and Tobirama covered the rest of our forces. Your biggest problem is Might Guy. I think he's still fighting Tobirama."

"I'm sure there are other problems you haven't brought to my attention, such as the little matter of shinobi out on missions," Orochimaru said.

"How troublesome."

Orochimaru roared with laughter, and with more force than strictly necessary bit Shikamaru on the neck.

The last thing the Nara saw was Orochimaru advancing on the sleeping Konohamaru.

Here is a conundrum: why is it that Tobirama failed to use the Hiraishin while fighting Sarutobi? I think there are some differences between Part One and Part Two that are irreconcilable.