The woman let out an aggravated noise and stood from her bed. Those idiots had no idea how to work an army. They didn't even know how to intimidate the enemy. She would be a better soldier then these excuses for men. The Condence glared down at her little messenger boy.
"Their welcome home party will not be of joy and happiness." Her Imperial Condescension thought out loud to herself in a grumble. She made a gesture to the squire and he ran off. She stood there and let out a groan. She had just woke up and started getting dressed and her day just HAD to start off bad.
Woopty fuckin' doo.
What next? The king was cheating on her? That would make her day also much better! She sat back down on her bed and stared at the door. What if..he was cheating on her like the last bastard?
Oh god Condy don't get so paranoid, of course hes not cheating. He knows damn well what would happen. He thought he was too young and beautiful to die.
Hahahah yeah.
Her train of thought was interrupted by another knock.
"No." she wanted to say but that would ruin her figure. Well, it was already ruined by the short battle tHAT THEY LOST.
[Insert Narrator cough]
Sorry. I got a bit mad.
Anyways, she fixed her posture and slapped on a smile. An annoyed smile. A smile that said leave me the fuck alone.
"Come in." Her tone was warm and welcoming and polite, of course it wasn't her natural tone.
Her son had walked in, followed by a knight who held his wrist tightly. Eridan wore a scowl on his face and looked away at the brick wall.
The fuck did the kid do now?
== Narrator: Become Karkat.
You sat back in your bed. Home sweet home. Or better known as if it smells like cow shit its home.
You had gotten out of your armor and my god it felt great to be free again. Three hours in armor kinda was a pain to you but twelve was hell, especially if you weren't moving much.
You laid down ans stretched your legs out and pointed your toes.
Oh shit this was bliss.
The noise the clanking metal gave you pride in the beaning but now its just really fucking annoying.
You wore typical commoner clothing, nothing special. You laid there and relaxed your muscles, closing your eyes and drifting to sleep.
This was nice.
Very nice.
Right before you were able to drift into comatose, you heard a loud horse like whinny then a feminine scream and jolt up from your dreamy state. The fuck was that? The grab your sword, clutch it tight and run outside.
Author Note: Yes hello, I am sorry for they very short and boring chapter. I swear it will get better. Also I am very sorry for taking too long to wright this. I was going to wright something completely different a month ago but my friend ruined that and i cried a bit. Anyways. I swear to Dog the next chapter will be coming soon.