Author's Note: Happy S.S. Endurance week, friends. Firstly, I feel as though I rushed this chapter a bit, but it is what it is. I can't look at it anymore. I would have posted it sooner but my charger died and I spent several days drowning in my sorrow. Secondly, as always, feel free to comment/critique.
p.s. I've also added my tumblr URL to my profile, against my better judgment, if you want to be friends ( you just have to fill out a simple friendship application form) or if you want to lurk me from the shadows. Or none of the above. Ehh.
The cavern was so dark I could barely see my hand in front of my face. I had my torch in hand, but I didn't dare light it lest I alert one of the Solarii goons of my presence. Instead, I snaked my way around the edge of the cavern, fumbling upon every cautious step. The path led directly to a large cistern where members of the Solarii cult had gathered to listen to Mathias speak. He was shouting about some sort of ascension ritual that would reawaken the Queen and set them free. "The Queen is about to speak to us brothers," he growled, pointing to someone tied to a post. I followed his gaze and felt queasy when I saw that it was Sam. She was bound and gagged, fear contorting her pale face. I shuddered at the mere thought of what they had done to her… A brutish Solarii member advanced on Sam, waving his torch maniacally. I didn't give him the chance to set her aflame though; I emerged from the shadow and loosed an arrow in his direction, it impaled him straight through the throat. Thank god I was a good shot.
Mathias turned his attention away from Sam and his eyes found me. We held each other's gaze for several moments before one of the Russians tackled me to the ground. "This is for my brother, outsider!"
Nikolai, Mathias had called him, stopped pummelling me only after he had been commanded to bring me to the altar. I had gone limp from the intense pain coursing through my face, but managed to brace myself so I could look up at Sam. She had been concentrating on Mathias when I said her name "Sam! Look at me Sam! I'm so sorry."
"Lara! Lara! LARA!" Sam was shouting my name, panic evident in her voice. How could she possibly be calling my name if she was gagged. Soft hands cupped my jaw, pulling me back to reality. My eyes snapped open and Sam's worried face slowly materialised before me. A bright fluorescent light shone down on her from somewhere above her head and if I hadn't known better I would have thought she was an angel. "Sam? What-" I began, confused.
Sam exhaled in relief and closed her eyes tightly before she explained away my confusion. "Lara, what is the last thing you remember?"
My eyebrows knit together as I searched my memory. "I remember flagging down a cargo ship and boarding soon after. Before we were shown to our rooms, I decided to look over my journal. I think one of the crewmen came over to talk to me and…"
My friend bit her lip and shifted her weight so that she was blocking the light from the ceiling. "Lara… That was over a day ago."
A day ago? That was impossible, it had only happened a few hours ago. Sam continued "After you talked to that guy, you collapsed. I tried waking you but you wouldn't budge. I was so sure you were dead. I completely lost it. Lara if…"
She hung her head so that her face was half obscured by shadow and I couldn't read her. "I- I wasn't as strong as you were on Yamatai, but I tried Lara. I brought you to the ship's doctor as fast as I could. She managed to patch you up but said you were in rough shape. The wound on your side, the one that goes pierced straight through, it's infected. The doctor said you were running a really high fever, most likely because your immune system was working overtime. I guess your body's reaction was to just shut down. Anyway the doctor put you on antibiotics but you still wouldn't wake. I just, I'm sorry I'm so weak. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have any of these injuries in the first place…"
Tears started streaming down Sam's face, forming a pool of salt water in my lap. Her expression was so broken that I too came undone, a sharp pain jabbing sporadically at my heart. How could she possibly think any of this was her fault? I had been the one that was set on finding Yamatai and all of the secrets that lay hidden there. The one so absorbed in their archaeological thirst that hadn't even considered the perils that had awaited us. In my frenzy for knowledge, I had even dismissed Sam's uneasiness. She hadn't said anything to me directly, but I could read it in her body language; the way she carried herself during our stay on the Endurance had been off, her tone nervous. In hindsight I realised some secrets were best kept hidden.
I shimmied my way forward on the stiff medical ward cot and threw my arms around Sam's shrinking form. In the back of my mind I told myself that Sam was a capable person, that she could take care of herself, but in this moment she needed me. Wherever Sam had gone, she often left a wake of mild destruction and I had been there to hold her hand through it all. Standing by her side had never felt like a chore, not even Yamatai had felt like a burden. There were, of course, moments where I had become completely exasperated and frustrated by Sam's antics, but I had never hated her for them. Not once.
"Sam, do you remember in uni, when you had to go before the dean of Communications? And you argued the legitimacy and necessity of film in the academic curriculum?" I asked softly, not wanting to startle her. My best friend twisted in my grip so that she could see my face without breaking free from my embrace. She looked somewhat confused, probably wondering the relevance of my question.
"Yeah, that was rough" she said as she nodded her head.
"Well, then you must remember how hard you canvassed, doing outreach and networking? How long it took you to gather the 5,000 signatures for the petition?" I questioned rhetorically. Sam's face was blank, still not quite understanding where I was going with my train of thought. "You fought hard for that victory. You fought hard and you won, Sam. You're a fighter. Maybe you don't feel like you are, but in my eyes, you are undoubtedly one of the strongest people I know. You survived Yamatai, you survived Mathias, and you survived Himiko's wrath. My friend, my best friend, Samantha Nishimura… " I trailed off, unsure of how to continue.
I had hoped that my reminiscing would quell her sadness, but to my dismay Sam started sobbing even harder. Shit. I was rubbish at this stuff. For several minutes I sat unmoving as Sam wept quietly into my shoulder. When at last she emerged for air, she looked at me her eyes were so solemn I thought she might have been angry with me. "Lara, if it hadn't been for you and your stellar grades backing me up, I never would have won. To the college admin, I was just some superficial, airhead American. UCL wouldn't have even considered my plea without your help. It's you Lara, you're the fighter, not me."
I closed my eyes and sighed. "Sam, you're missing my point. I might have acted as the catalyst, but it was you who won- you who ultimately brought everything to fruition. You did the hard, honest work. I merely lent you a hand," Sam shot me a cynical look but I ignored it and continued "What I'm trying to say is that everyone needs help from time to time. Everyone. Even me." Especially me, I scoffed internally.
"Without you Sam, I wouldn't be standing here. Without you, I wouldn't be the same person. Without you I wouldn't know what to do with myself. Sam, you make me want to push forward. You make me want to be stronger and inspire me to be a gentler person. It's you who has helped me open up and learn to let loose, who has supported me after my parents disappeared... You've saved me so many times, I'm not even sure you realise it." My eyes dropped immediately upon finishing, worried that I had said too much. The words started flooding my brain, coursing through to my mouth without a filter to sort them.
A strange silence fell between us as Sam considered my words. Finally, she threw her head back and a warm smile replaced the frown she had been wearing. She moved closer to me, so close that our noses were almost touching. Her hand found mine and she laced our fingers together "Lara Croft, you're kind of a heartbreaker, you know?"
A wonderful and frightening feeling took hold of me, forcing a hot blush into my cheeks. Was Sam flirting with me? No, she was probably just trying to reassure her bumbling idiot of a friend… I knew the blueprints to Sam's flirting routine like the back of my hand, and this surely was not a part of the design. And yet, there was something there in Sam's deep eyes that pulled on my heart strings, making me acutely aware of the proximity of her lips to my own. If I moved even a fraction of an inch I could plant a kiss on her parted lips. What was I thinking? Sam is just a friend- a charming, witty, and incredibly beautiful friend. Fuck Lara, what are you doing? Not this again…
Sam broke free of my gaze and made to stand, sending the awkward thoughts in my head adrift like ice burghs. She pulled my hand along behind her, tugging lightly on my arm. Her eyes peered into mine mischievously as she batted her lashes and said innocently "Why Miss Croft, I do believe you're in need of a bath" she motioned to my dirt and blood encrusted body "A lady must keep herself presentable after all."
My heart fluttered at her suggestion- was she inviting me to have a bath with her? Her tone was playful in nature so I dismissed the ridiculous idea and rose to my feet. I looked down at Sam, who stood a few inches shorter, and chuckled. "You know, you're right. Will you be giving me a sponge bath, nurse Nishimura?"
Sam flashed me a brilliant smile and winked. "In your dreams, kiddo!" she mocked in her best motherly voice "Come on, I'll help you strip down, and then I'll let you have your privacy. Even though I know you totally want me to join you."
She was teasing me, I knew, but I got flustered all the same. Was it possible she knew about…That she knew I… That I what? I wasn't even sure what my brain was doing to me, but I had never known such a high level of confusion in all my two decades of living. I had always had a sort of natural affinity to Sam, but this was different. Or was it? "What a mess." I whispered to myself as Sam helped me disrobe. She stopped tugging on my pant leg and eyed me.
"What's a mess, sweetie? Is everything all right?" Sam's soft voice asked curiously.
"Errm, just, how awful I look. I'm a tangled mess. I look like a mangled corpse," I mumbled as I lifted my arms to survey the rough skin there. Clusters of deep scars and purple bruises littered my body like discarded cigarettes. If only I looked half decent, I thought, feeling somewhat sorry for myself. Before the events of Yamatai, I had considered myself average looking, certainly not a beacon of shining beauty by anyone's standards, but I had been confident about it regardless. Now however, I was almost repulsed by myself. The colourful patches of wounds and scars decorating me looked like camouflage of some sort. I wasn't even sure if tattoos would effectively cover the swollen, angry marks forever engraved into my skin. Sam had been observing me throughout my internal monologue but had not spoken. We had always been on the same wavelength and I suspected she knew where my thoughts had wandered because when it came time for me to remove my undergarments, she turned away and called out "I'll catch you later, Mlle. hideous corpus. I'm going to see if I can find Jonah and Reyes. Why don't you come down when you're all finished here?" She lingered at the door as if waiting for something and then disappeared.
When I was alone at last, I let out a groan. I was glad Sam had given me some privacy as I had been fighting the urge to break down, however I was simultaneously riddled with anxiety in my solitude; I couldn't bear to lose her again. I knew that I had to be strong for Sam's sake but I was feeling particularly self-conscious about how horrible I looked and could barely move without wincing from the pain. Everyone who had survived the island looked as though they had been to hell in a back, mostly because we had, and even Sam hadn't made it out unscathed. After Whitman had taken Sam back to Mathias, a strange blue tattoo-like stain had appeared on her arms; its sudden appearance had piqued my curiosity but I didn't dare ask Sam about it, especially given her comment about how relieved she was at Yamatai's lack of mirrors. I figured the blue hue on her skin was probably chipping away at her confidence. Personally I thought it added a strange, ethereal kind of appeal to her already stunning features.
Feeling somewhat silly about the superficial path of my thoughts, I pushed them aside and stepped into the small cubed shower. I fiddled with the water until it was lukewarm, on my skin. As the water rushed onto me I felt stinging nearly everywhere. The pain burning in every wound rose steadily in a crescendo until the floodgates in my mind burst. I allowed myself be consumed with dark thoughts, to delve straight into the belly of the beast.
I deserve this. After everything I've done, a little stinging hardly compensates for the destruction I've caused. Roth, Grim, and Alex all lost their lives because I had led them to Yamatai, because I had thrown caution to the wind. What will their families think? I'm the one responsible for taking them straight into danger. I owe it to their families to inform them directly of their deaths. I have to do it alone… At this I choked and sunk to the bottom of the shower stall and allowed myself to cry for the first time in what seemed like an eternity.
I stayed in the shower for some time before I managed to compose myself enough to get out of the shower and get dressed. The antibacterial soap I used cleansed my cuts and scrapes quite nicely and dulled some of the ache. I left the showers and found Sam had a left a pile of neatly folded clothes for me on the cot; I pulled the pair of wooly socks on before wiggling my way into a loose fitting pair of jeans. To complete the outfit, I put on a navy pullover and a black toque. Making my way out of the small medical ward, I caught my reflection in a mirror on the back of the door and appraised myself; I looked a fraction better after showering, but I was nowhere near decent looking. With all the dirt caked on my face, I hadn't been aware of the large gash on the bridge of my nose. I remembered Sam calling me hideous corpus before she left and chuckled at her play on words, feeling a little better about my current state.
The corridor outside the room was dark, the wall sconces dimly lighting the path to my left and right. I turned my head both ways, unsure of which way to turn and it occurred to me that I didn't know my way around the ship. Apparently I hadn't been paying attention for the small time I had been conscious. Something told me I should go right and before I knew it my feet were encouraging me forward. I wandered down the empty hallway and passed cabin upon cabin until I walked as far and found a door labelled "Stairwell". I decided to see where it led; my only option was to go down. As I made my descent, I gripped the railing to keep my balance. My knuckles were white from the amount of weight I had been forcing them to endure. Adrenaline had fuelled me on Yamatai and it must have worn off because I was feeling the effects of withdrawal. My body was so weak it was next to impossible to walk upright. The swaying of the ship only exacerbated the problem as I edged closer to collapse. I had succumbed, crumpled on the floor when I heard a familiar voice growing nearer.
Jonah's silhouette was recognisable even from my position on the floor. I had hoped he wouldn't see me, but it was much worse than that, he ended up tripping over me. He righted himself and turned to see what had caused him to topple over and looked taken aback when he saw me staring back at him. "Lara my little bird, what are you doing on the floor?"
I didn't have the willpower, nor the desire to explain what was plaguing me. Instead I made a feeble attempt at an excuse "I was just admiring the tiling. It's, err, rather nice."
My friend sighed, his entire body slumping in response. I knew I could be completely honest with Jonah, free of judgment, but all of the emotions stirring in me felt so intimate and private that I resigned myself to sort through them in solitude. Yamatai felt like my cross to bear, mine and mine alone. "You know Lara, if you need to talk I'm here for you. I'm sure even Reyes would be willing to talk with you using her own special brand of cynicism. And Sam… Have you talked to Sam? I imagine you must be dealing with a lot, Lara, and it's okay to ask for help. I won't pretend to know what you're dealing with because they're your experiences alone, but I know a few things about being a survivor."
He was right of course, he always was- I did need help, but I didn't want to weigh anyone down more than I had already. Jonah's victorious grin eclipsed my morose thoughts as Jonah extended a hand towards me. He pulled me to my feet with effortless grace and coaxed me into an iron tight embrace. When he let go, he spoke softly "You can fight the gathering tempest in your head Lara, but you cannot weather the storm by yourself; every ship needs a lighthouse to guide them home, just as every lighthouse needs a ship to give them something to hope for."
It had always amazed me how profound Jonah's words had been, regardless of the context; he had a quiet sort of wisdom about him that put me at ease. His words echoed in my ears as we made our way to the mess deck. I was certain he had deliberately used storms in his analogy to reinforce the point, but it resulted in an eerie feeling wrenching at me. Regardless, I knew that I would eventually have to open up and talk to someone about what I was experiencing, but the suggestion of exposing my weak spot, of succumbing to that level of vulnerability was enough to deter me from ever speaking again.
The mess hall was packed to the brim with various members of the ship's crew, most of whom were happily chatting and eating away. Through the cacophony of noise and motion I could distinctly hear Sam's voice chirping about the difference between Final Cut Pro and Adobe Premiere Pro; apparently both were timeline based programs and essentially the same, but she liked both for different reasons. Reyes was seated opposite her and when she caught my gaze, she returned it with an almost angry tone. Sam noticed Reyes was no longer feigning interest and turned to see what she was staring at; Sam shot up from her seat, almost flying really, and sprinted towards me. This is the closest thing I've ever seen her do to exercise, I thought inwardly and stifled a giggle.
"Lara, thank god you're here! I was getting tired of Reyes' insufferable grumpiness. I swear, somewhere deep, deep, deep, DEEP down inside it's all an act!" Sam whispered as she hugged me tightly.
Her grip was so firm that I cringed from the pressure. Sam didn't seem to have noticed because she continued to hold my side as she navigated the way to the table where she had been sitting, dodging a few drunken people along the way. Reyes nodded at me, expressionless, as I took a seat next to Sam. "Are you hungry, did you want me to get you anything to eat sweetie?"
I considered Sam's question for a moment before suddenly realising I was starving. How long had it been since I had eaten? My stomach growled, answering Sam's question before my mouth could. Sam looked at me and shook her head in laughter. She took off to find me something to eat without saying a word. The table fell silent in Sam's absence. Jonah must have felt uncomfortable in the odd quiet and decided to break it "So how is everyone feeling? You holding up Reyes?"
She stared at her hands for some time, replying gruffly "I'm doing fine, I'm just anxious to get back to land and see Alisha. I don't know about you, but I'm' sick of ships. I think I'll plant myself firmly on the ground after this."
Jonah and I nodded our heads in agreement, though I had other plans in mind; the strange disappearance of the lost Roanoke Colony was calling me. However traumatic my time on Yamatai had been, it had awakened in me an almost feral hunger for adventure. I had always been partial to exploring, but it felt more like a necessity than a want after escaping Himiko's reign. The burning desire to unearth ancient secrets gripped me like a fever.
Jonah was sharing his own plans upon docking in Japan; he wanted to get home to see his family and take a vacation. This was my window of opportunity to tell the others that I wasn't actually heading home, however something convinced me otherwise. Sam would take the news the hardest, I knew, and I didn't want to undo any of the healing she had been undergoing. I felt as though I owed it to her to metaphorically hold her hand through her post-Yamatai recovery process, whatever it entailed. I wouldn't mind if it involved actually holding her hand either, let's be honest.
Mathias and his army, Himiko and her army; I had been their primary target throughout the entire ordeal, after Sam of course, but it hadn't been the threat of death that had scared me most- it had been isolation. I was frightened at the prospects of losing my friends, the friends who I had unknowingly sent directly into the eye of the storm. It had been those bleak stormy nights that had struck me the hardest, that gnawed at the quick of me. I had been alone in the thick of the chaos and it felt as though my fate had already been determined- that I would die on that island with no one by my side, essentially following in my parents' footsteps. Even my mother and my father, if they truly had died, had had each other. Despair hung over me like a dark, angry raincloud as I wandered the breadth of Yamatai. In those darkest moments, it had been Sam's face that I saw in every star, her voice that I heard in every wave, her smile that warmed me on the coldest of nights. It had been Sam saving me from the start. Perhaps I owed it her to be honest. Perhaps I ought to stay…These emotions most likely stemmed from our closeness over the course of eight years, but it felt odd to admit them to myself.
Right on cue, Sam emerged from a crowd of rowdy crew members; she was holding a rather large plate of food and two mugs, making her way towards me slowly and deliberately to maintain her balance while keeping the china in one piece. Her entire face was scrunched in concentration, giving her the appearance of someone trying to prevent a sneeze. I eyed the contents of the plate she was carrying and almost fainted from anticipation. Sam knew exactly what I liked, I guess that came with the territory. She had procured me two pieces of toast, thickly spread with raspberry jam, a juicy looking Royal Gala apple, a bowl of porridge lightly sprinkled with brown sugar and strawberries, rounded out with a banana nut muffin. To say that I was salivating would have been too weak of a description, I was so borderline ravenous. The second Sam set the plate down on the table I started wolfing down the food, entirely consumed. "Woah! Slow down Lara, you'll choke!"
I looked at Sam and replied with my mouth full of half chewed food "I'm so hungry mmmm, I kind of forgot to eat mmmmm."
Sam pursed her lips as she watched crumbs fall out of my mouth and cocked her head to the side like a dog observing a cat "What did Yamatai do to you? I've never seen you so, what's the word, immodest!"
My friend poked at my side playfully and slid a coffee in my direction. It was as dark as a moonless night, but sweetened with several heaping spoonfuls of sugar- just the way I liked it. All those times I thought Sam hadn't been paying attention to my coffee order, she had apparently been more aware than I believed. Sam often surprised me with little details such as this. It never ceased to amaze me how wonderful a friend she truly was.
"I was thinking of cooking dinner tonight, just for the four of us- a sort of celebration dinner in honour of making it off the island, mostly in tact. It could be a commemoration of the brave people we lost as well. What do you think? Would you guys join Reyes and me? Maybe we could even barter with the ship's cook to get some beer?" Jonah offered.
It was an enticing invitation as Jonah was a regular Gordon Ramsay in the kitchen, save for all the angry cursing and yelling, that is. Give the man scant supplies to work with and he could fashion the most superb dishes. A week ago I might it might not have crossed my mind, but if food gods existed, I was certain that they had blessed Jonah with a gift. Although I was pleasantly stuffed from the bounty Sam had given me, the thought of Jonah's cooking made my stomach rumble. Sam always said that a solid friendship revolved around food, so I knew undoubtedly that Sam would be over the moon at the Jonah's suggestion. However, she rejected his dinner invitation "That's sweet of you Jonah, but I, uhh, I'd rather stay in tonight. I hope you don't mind."
Jonah shrugged and turned to me, awaiting my response. It was uncharacteristic of Sam to turn down a good meal and it worried me. Maybe she wants some space to digest the events of Yamatai? Or maybe she wants to be alone to cry? I still feel like I should stay with her. It's so difficult letting her out of sight. It feels like the moment I let go of her hand, she could be swept away again. "Well, I actually have a bit of light reading to do so I'm afraid I have to decline as well. Maybe once we make port we can all have dinner together though?"
Reyes and Jonah both looked from Sam, to me suspiciously, exchanging a look and dropped the subject altogether. Sam excused herself from the table, gesturing for me to follow her. I did as she wanted and walked the length of the corridor back to her cabin. I noted that there were two beds crammed into the small living quarters. Some of my possessions that had been salvaged from the ruins of the S.S. Endurance were resting on the bed opposite the one I assumed was Sam's. "I hope it's okay that we're sharing a room. There wasn't much space for us so we all had to double up. Obviously the other two didn't protest when I asked if you and I could share a room. It's kind of small but in a nostalgic way it's like our first year of college" she stopped and smiled to herself "I really am sorry for all the hassle I put you through. I was different then. Well maybe not as much as I'd like to believe. Can I make a confession Lara?"
She waited, obviously wanting me to give her permission to continue. I was somewhat nervous about what she wanted to tell me so I merely nodded. Relieved, Sam pressed on "I really wanted to have dinner with Jonah tonight, you know that I'm a bit of a foodie. But the thing is Lara, I really miss spending time with you, just you. I know it's selfish of me to say after all the shit you did for me back on Yamatai. It's just that, I can't help but feel as though I'm losing you somehow. Maybe it's some weird form of separation anxiety brought on by my perpetual kidnapping and uselessness. I just… I want to be close to you ALL the time. I don't want to weird you out or anything, but I need that closeness. And even if we weren't trapped on this metal tin, the only person I'd want to be close with is you. Well, I mean, the only person who I could feel close to is you really. I don't know, I thought we could stay in tonight? Even if we're not talking or anything, being in the same room as you is enough."
A thousand different emotions buzzed in the electric air, sending my head reeling; I had never seen Sam so achingly vulnerable before, and to think that I was partially at fault made my guilt burn like acid in my stomach. How could I possibly refuse her? Here was my dearest friend in the world standing in front of me, baring her soul. How could I not give her what she wanted.
"Well then, it seems as though the tables have turned. I never imagined I'd live to see the day where you were the one convincing me to laze about rather than go out. Are you sure you're really "Sam Nishimura? Himiko the homebody isn't using you as her vessel is she?"
Sam perked up and looked at me thoughtfully. "Is that a yes? I would totally understand if you'd rather go eat dinner with Jonah and Reyes…"
"Sam, after the 'vacation' we just had, there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be than parked on my behind with my best friend at my side. I just hope you brought snacks because I might want to spend the evening with you, but I can't make any promises that my stomach will cooperate."
We spent the first half of the night talking and enjoying each other's presence and the simple comfort that it brought. I listened on for some time as Sam animatedly discussed her plans for the footage she had taken aboard the Endurance, as well as the few clips she had managed to take capture with her iPhone before it had died. I was impressed that her phone had survived the wreckage and that she had kept it with her. But it was very much like Sam to keep some sort of video recording device on her person at all times. The only issue with the video she had taken on Yamatai, she said, was that each clip had been so short in length due to various threats, such as imminent death, that it would be difficult to add clean transitions between some because of the lack of media at the beginning and end. She admitted that she was a 'bit' of a perfectionist, so while an untrained eye might not notice an abbreviated dissolve (dissolves were apparently her favourite type of video transition since they flowed more organically than other types), the change from one film clip to another would look too choppy to her. I didn't quite follow what she was talking about, but I was content to sit back and watch her eyes light up as she explained film to me.
After awhile, Sam's speech slowed to a crawl and she plopped down onto her bed; she left just enough room for me, patted the tiny strip of open bed in front of her and whispered "Your turn!"
I happily obliged her and slinked into position beside her. "So what about the world famous archaeologist Lara Croft? Are you going to participate in today's round of show and tell?" she prompted me.
"Well, there is one thing. Something I found scribbled in my father's old journal. The word Croatoa was sprawled across the top of one of his journal entries. There was no mention of the Roanoke Colony, but logically that would be the place to search" I rambled on about the lost colony for ages while Sam added an "ahh" or an "interesting" here and there. I wondered if she ever looked at me the way I looked at her when she gushed about the things she was most passionate about.
"Sam? Are you still awake?" I rolled over, half-expecting to find her asleep; instead I discovered she was wide-awake with an odd look on her face.
"Are you feeling okay Sam? You don't look so-" Sam leaned in and kissed me on my cheek. Everything fell silent as my brain made a failed attempt to process the kiss.
At a loss for words and awestruck I blurted out a rushed "thank you" before shifting onto my back to stare at the ceiling.
I was embarrassed. Sam had pecked me on the cheek, a small act she had done in the past. This time however, I sensed there was a certain weighty meaning behind it. Sam's watch over me was unrelenting, though I refused to meet her eyes. I felt too awkward and cowardly to do anything but stare straight ahead with my blinders on. From my peripheral, I saw Sam advance towards me slowly, deliberately, before placing another kiss on my cheek. This time I turned so that we were face to face. Our eyes held each other for a sliver of time, my lips twitching as a smile pulled at the corners of my mouth. In a swift motion I leaned into Sam, searching out her lips; we moved together in unison and kissed each other softly. My hands ran through Sam's freshly washed hair, pulling her in closer. The taste of Sam's lips was intoxicating and I dared not let her go; ecstasy coursed through my veins as the feeling rushed through to every appendage leaving no corner of my mind left unturned. I was kissing Sam and she was kissing me back. Somewhere in between kisses I startled at the hefty repercussions of our late night indiscretions. Perhaps I should have been more concerned, but with Sam in my arms, returning my kisses, I let go of my inhibitions and lost myself in her. I would deal with the consequences in the morning.