"Ok, Peach, help me out here," Mario began as he pulled out the park map, "You studied up on Epcot, what rides get the longest lines the fastest?"
"Well, they would be Test Track, Mission: Space, and their newest ride: Soarin'. Unfortunately, I don't really know which of those to go on first. However, I do know who to ask!"
Peach pulled out her Pal Mickey doll and showed it off to everyone.
"Don't tell me you actually spent money on that thing..." Wario grumbled.
"So, Mickey," Peach asked, squeezing Mickey's tummy (and completely ignoring Wario's remark), "What ride should we go on first: Test Track, Mission: Space, or Soarin'?"
"Grab a Fastpass for Test Track and ride Mission: Space while you wait!" Mickey explained, "You can grab a Fastpass for Soarin' later, and visit the rest of The Land pavilion until it's time!"
"Hey! That's-a pretty cool!" Luigi complimented.
"Heh... Not bad..." Waluigi mumbled, "... For a stuffed rat."
Again, Peach ignored Waluigi's comment and walked towards the Test Track's Fastpass vendor.
"We're all going on this ride, correct?" Peach assured.
Everyone nodded.
"Ok then, I'll just put our park tickets in here and..."
Soon, Peach had six Fastpass tickets for about 30 minutes from their current time.
"Alright, that should be enough time to ride Mission: Space!" Mario exclaimed.
As the group approached the ride, Wario noticed a warning sign outside the attraction.
"Hey, Waluigi!" Wario called, "I guess you can't go on this ride!"
"What? Why?" Waluigi shouted, flabbergasted.
"It says here that 'people who suffer from motion sickness should not ride this attraction'! And you threw up on the spinning tea cups! Heck, you nearly puked on the air plane coming here!"
"Oh yeah? Look again, fatso! It also says 'this ride contains harnesses that may not work for people with certain body types'! Translation: You're too fat to go on!"
"WHAT? WHY YOU LITTLE..."
Wario and Waluigi immediately began brawling it out right in front of the attraction, while the other four just stood there.
"Just what's with those freaks?" Daisy asked disgusted.
"I don't know..." Luigi replied, shaking his head as he walked inside, "I've given up asking."
Once inside Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Daisy were quickly 'debriefed' on their 'flight training' for a mission to Mars. They were also assigned different roles on the mission: Mario was the commander, Luigi was the pilot, Peach was the engineer (although she knew nothing about mechanics!) and Daisy was the navigator. Soon, they climbed into the flight simulators and prepared for lift-off! However, as the simulators closed, who should show up from hiding but Bowser and Bowser Jr., proving they were not at all demotivated from their failures the day before.
"Ok, son," Bowser began, "I have a plan that will send those pesky plumbers through the roof... literally!"
Bowser pulled out his newest instrument of torture: an ordinary screwdriver.
"Um, Pop? How's a screwdriver gonna send those Mario Bros. packing?"
"Simple! This ride spins those simulator things around and around to create the effect of a space shuttle taking off. As soon as I find the screws that are holding this thing together, all I have to do is loosen the ones on the simulator that the Mario Brothers are in, and, eventually, it will come flying off while it's spinning... and those plumbers will still be in it!"
"Oh, I get it! Heh, heh! How about we send those brothers into orbit?"
Bowser walked up to the simulator and began looking for the screws.
"Let's see they gotta be around here somewhere... Dang! Where are they?"
"You can't find the screws? Do you think maybe they welded the ride together so the screws couldn't come loose by accident?"
"Oh, yeah... I never thought about that..."
While Bowser was pondering the simplicity of his error, the ride started to spin... And Bowser was right in its way! With an unpleasant 'Thump!', Bowser suddenly found himself plastered to the side of the ride! After a few rotations, Bowser managed to gain enough momentum to send himself through the roof!
"Uh... Huston, we have lift-off, Roger!" Bowser Jr. commented as he ran after his far-flung father.
Meanwhile, inside the ride, Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Daisy were having a pretty wild time, too (but, unlike Bowser, they were much safer!).
"Yahoo!" Mario shouted, "It's practically Zero-G in here! I think my hat is floating a few inches off my head!"
"MMMOOOOMMMMAAAA------MMMMIIIIIAAAA!" Luigi screamed.
"Ugh! Mario, I don't feel too good!" Peach cried.
"Yeah! I'm agreeing with Mario! This ride is awesome!" Daisy yelled.
As the ride continued the four 'astronauts' found themselves in some dangerous situations, mainly in the landing, as the space shuttle nearly overran the runway and fell off a cliff! Of course, they didn't (this is Disney, after all!), and flight control called their mission a success! As the four of them climbed out and walked towards the exit (not observing the hole in the ceiling Bowser left behind), two of them were practically running because of the adrenalin rush, while the other two were just trying to walk straight.
"Hey, Luigi!" Mario started, "Wasn't that ride great or what?"
"Ugh... Never... going... on... that... again..." was all Luigi could get out.
"Phew... Same... here..." Peach agreed.
"Gee, you both are wimps!" Daisy playfully teased, "And look at the time! We can go on Test Track now!"
Luigi and Peach stood there for a moment, and then both performed an anime fall.
Once outside, Mario found Wario and Waluigi right where they left them (and they were still fighting each other, unbelievably) and the six of them went over to Test Track. Thanks to the Fastpasses, they barely had to wait at all, and were quickly loaded into the six-person vehicles. Unfortunately, since the seats were arranged into two rows of three, that meant that someone had to sit with the 'Wario Bros.' Daisy volunteered, sitting between the two of them to make sure they wouldn't start yelling at each other again. Mario, meanwhile, sat in the driver's seat with Peach sitting next to him and Luigi on the end.
"Ok, does everyone have their seatbelts fastened?" a Cast Member asked, inspecting the car before it drove off.
"I'm trying to fasten it," Daisy began, "But Wario's fat butt is covering where I buckle it!"
"Well, excussssse me, Princess!" Wario mumbled sarcastically as he scooted over a bit, allowing Daisy to fasten her belt.
"All right, here we go!" Mario shouted as the car drove off. First up on the test was the hill climb, followed by suspension and breaking. Then they entered the extreme climate chambers.
The first room was extreme heat.
"It's too hot in here!" Wario and Waluigi whined.
The next room was extreme cold.
"It's too cold in here!"
The final room was corrosion (acid rain).
"It's too wet---"
They were cut short by Daisy bopping them both over the head at the same time.
"Ow... What?"
After a steering and handling test, it was time for the infamous barrier test. However, right before the car crashed into the barrier, the wall opened, and the car came blasting out onto the outside track at 65 mph! After a minute or so of this, the car came driving back into the building, just in time for thermal imaging.
"Hmm... Wario and Waluigi are mostly red in that thermal image!" Luigi pointed out, "It must be because they're full of hot air!"
"HEY! KNOCK IT OFF!"
Luigi was still trying to fend off the 'Wario Bros.' as they got off the ride and headed towards the exit. However, before they left, Peach noticed something.
"Hey guys, look!" Peach called, pointing at a bunch of computer monitors hanging above a small shop, "They took our picture during the ride, and we can buy it, if we like!"
Mario looked up and observed that Peach was right. On one of the monitors was a picture of the six of them in the car during the fast part, and it was a pretty cool picture too.
"Ok, that sounds like a good idea!" Mario answered, "Let's get one and bring it home as a souvenir!"
Before long, Mario was carrying a small bag that contained the picture, which would serve as a fond memento of a wonderful vacation.