Okay, so I didn't plan on getting this chapter out so fast, but I just reeeaaaally want the story to progress! Also thank you so much to the people who added this to their alert/favorite lists and reviewed! Hope you like this chapter! I was gonna add another section with more of Ander's POV but I'm saving it for the next one.
Hawke
"Oh shit," Astrid muttered, watching Anders writhe on the floor of the Chantry, head in his hands.
The man she'd agreed to help just a few hours ago rose from his knees with a burst of cerulean blue energy rupturing from his body. His eyes glowed and magic seemed to burst from him, thickening the air around them. He glared furiously at the surrounding templars that had come for them, reaching for his staff with powerful hands.
"YOU WILL NEVER TAKE ANOTHER MAGE AS YOU TOOK HIM!" a deep voice that definitely did not belong to Anders thundered.
Before she could even grab her bow, the mage was madly flinging spells at a speed that rivaled even her father, who had been the greatest mage she'd ever encountered- but of course, she was biased. The templars, utterly astounded by the display, barely had time to react, but when they did it was certainly something to behold.
Astrid just barely ducked under the arch of a sword that was suddenly swinging by her head. A templar faced her, armor shining brightly under the moonlight pouring in through the windows, fury written plain on his face. "Mage sympathizing bitch!" he hissed through gritted teeth.
The rogue braced herself and kicked out at the man, her booted foot connecting with his jaw and sending him sprawling back. "I don't like labels," she spat, pulling out the dagger she kept in her belt. Just as the man pulled his sword back for another swing she was on him, sinking her blade into his neck and thrusting it out again. He collapsed onto the floor, shock forming in his eyes before they faded into blankness.
Astrid panted and wiped a sweaty piece of hair out of her face. She quickly put her dagger back and pulled her bow from where it was strapped behind her, preparing an arrow. She launched them as quickly and as precisely as she could, while avoiding hitting Bethany and Varric in the corner and Anders, who was in the center of all of it, lashing his hands out and summoning massive fireballs above the religious soldiers. The strange blue aura of magic that surrounded him did not fade until the last templar fell to the ground with a sickening gurgle.
The strange cerulean glow faded from his eyes and the thick coat of magic surrounding him dissipated at the sound of his friend's voice.
"Anders, what did you do?" the bearded gentleman asked, staring with shock and sadness. "It's like you brought a piece of the Fade into this world. I had already forgotten what that feels like."
Astrid moved closer, joining Bethany and Varric where they gathered just a few feet from the two men. The older mage, Karl, whose tone had been emotionless and flat like all of the Tranquil, now appeared to be on the verge of tears. Astrid was torn. She didn't want to interrupt their moment, but she needed answers. She'd killed templars tonight and she wanted to know who-or what- exactly she'd done it for.
"What...was that?" Astrid asked.
"It's like a gateway to the Fade inside you, glowing like a beacon," Karl remarked in amazement. The girl glanced at Varric and caught a twin look of oh please on his face to match her own. Maybe it was a mage thing.
Anders seemed to notice their exchange and looked around uncomfortably. "I have some…unique circumstances, yes. But Karl, what happened? How did they get you?" he demanded, brows creasing together over his amber brown eyes.
"The templars here are far more vigilant than in Fereldan. They found a letter I was writing you," the graying man answered, but he wasn't done speaking about his Tranquility. "You cannot imagine it, Anders. All the color, all the music in the world gone. I would gladly give up my magic, but this...I'll never be whole again."
Bethany was staring at the man, open mouthed with a blend of horror and sympathy. Astrid noticed her take an unsteady intake of breath and repressed the urge to cover the girl's ears and tell her that everything would be okay. Obviously things were not okay for Karl and she was not sure what to do in this situation. Karl however, knew exactly what he wanted.
"Please, kill me before I forget again!" the man begged his friend. "I don't know how you brought it back but its fading!"
The look on Anders' face was one of anguish. "Karl, no!"
Astrid stepped up then and put a hand on the blonde mage's shoulder. "Maybe we could find a cure," she suggested hopefully.
The man shrugged off her grasp as if the touch burned him and turned on her with a fiery gaze. "Can you cure a beheading? The dreams of tranquil mages are severed. There is nothing left of them to fix!"
Astrid backed away but did not blink under his powerful gaze. He was obviously dangerous but she didn't sincerely think he would turn on her. She imagined how she would react had Bethany been in Karl's place, and she in Anders' and could feel only sorrow for them both at the hopelessness of their situation. "I see," she croaked through a dry throat.
"I would rather die a mage than live as a templar puppet," Karl interjected pitifully, accepting his fate.
Suddenly Bethany spoke up, her airy voice filling the emptiness around them. "You know what's right. Help him," she whispered, imploring Anders with watery eyes.
"I got here too late, Karl. I'm so sorry."
The mage with the sunburst on his forehead closed his eyes, almost painfully. "Now! It's fading-" Suddenly looking up at them, his eyes were once again empty. "Why do you look at me like that?"
Astrid hugged Bethany to her chest for what came next. She felt warm tears spilling down the base of her throat, where Bethany sniffled, but her eyes did not leave Anders as he approached his old friend, knife in hand.
"Goodbye," the mage murmured before plunging the blade into the man's chest. Bethany's fingers were digging into her back but she didn't wince until Anders looked up at her, his eyes immeasurable with despondency. He turned and left then, bolting out of the Chantry and leaving them surrounded by dead templars and a tranquil mage.
Silence stretched out before them until Varric nudged the older girl's arm. "Hawke, Sunshine, we better leave before the Knight Commander gets word of this."
Astrid nodded and followed him out of the Chantry, leaving the corpses untouched. Not even she would loot dead men in the holy building that they served. She held her sister's hand the whole walk back to Gamlen's.
Astrid waited until the moon began to dip in the darkened sky and Bethany's breathing became deep and even in the bed beside hers before stripping from her sleeping clothes into trousers and a loose linen shirt, strapping on boots to match. She tiptoed out of their bedroom to the living area where Precious peered up at her with curiosity, her canine head tilting in question. The girl held a thin finger up to her lips and gestured to the front door before making her exit, the dog following quietly behind.
She kept to the shadows during her descent into Darktown, darting quickly into alleyways upon seeing strangers walking ahead. The streets were not safe alone at night, even for her. She left her bow at home but with her mabari beside her and her knife in her pocket, Astrid was not too concerned. However, she was not an utter fool.
When Astrid reached his clinic her heart pounded dangerously against her rib cage like an army against a stone barrier. A mix of fear and adrenaline stirred within her veins and she briefly considered going back to the hovel in Lowtown. No, she thought. I risked my life and Bethany's for this man. He owes me at least his stupid maps. Sighing, she knocked on the heavy wooden door. After a few minutes with no answer the young woman cautiously pushed it open.
He was sitting at a writing desk, blonde head hanging in his hands when she entered the room. At first she thought he was sleeping, but with a start, he looked up at her with misery. "I suppose I have some explaining to do," he murmured.
"I would appreciate it," she replied. "And…I'm sorry for your loss. You seemed important to each other."
"Karl was my best friend in the Fereldan Circle. He was one of the only people who agreed with my views on freedom. I thought…I thought we could achieve freedom together; that we could show the templars that we are more than just grime at the bottom of their pretty silverite boots." He stood up then, practically shoving himself away from his desk. "And now he's dead, at my own hands."
"Anders," she whispered, moving closer to him without thinking. Realizing that she didn't very well know what to do with the majority of space between them gone, she kept her hands awkwardly at her sides. "It's not your fault. You did everything you could to free him and he knew that. Once they made him tranquil there was nothing else you could do. I-I did not know much about tranquility before tonight, but from what Bethany and my father told me, it seems that Karl is much better off this way. I know at least this is what I would want, were I a mage."
The man heaved out a sigh. "You're right. It's better this way. Your father is a mage?"
"He was one," she murmured. "He died three years before the Blight."
"Templars?"
"Sickness. Nobody saw it coming."
"I'm sorry," Anders said, meeting her gaze and holding it.
Astrid felt a strange swell in her chest then and looked away, biting down on the inside of her cheek. This was too personal. She'd witnessed him put a dagger through his friend's heart not four hours ago. The last thing she wanted was to open up a conversation about her father, especially if he was what she thought he was.
"I've never seen one rival his spells until tonight actually…That wasn't normal magic you did, was it?" she asked quietly.
"I-This is hard to explain. When I was in Ameranthine with the Wardens I met a spirit of Justice who was trapped outside the Fade. We became friends and he recognized the injustice that mages in Thedas face every day."
"I've…never heard of such a thing. This being sounds like a demon, Anders," she said warily. Everything she knew about him suggested that he was a good man, and it pained her to think that he was possessed by a corrupt entity, but this sounded like a typical demonic trap. Her fingers lingered at her hip where her blade rested in her pocket.
"No, it isn't-that's not how it is. Just as there are demons that prey on the sins of mankind, there are spirits who embody our virtues…spirits of compassion, fortitude, justice."
She wanted to trust him, to help him. After all, he was aiding people in his clinic. Besides, he was kind and wanted the same things that she wanted for Bethany, just on a larger scale. Still though, Astrid could not help but be cautious. "What does this have to do with your eyes glowing?"
The man paused, appearing to brace himself to say what came next. "To live outside the Fade he needed a host. I offered to help him. "
Astrid's stomach sank with a groan. She pressed a palm to her forehead. "You are an abomination?I can't believe I killed templars for you! Do you realize what could happen to my sister and Varric for this? What could happen to me?"
Anders' eyes grew wide with surprise. "No! Listen to me!" His hand shot out to grab her arm but she hit it away, brandishing her blade and forcing him against the wall.
"Don't touch me," she breathed. With her dagger inches from his neck and her arm against his chest she should have felt in control, but as his brown eyes flickered blue, fear rose in her throat. Even with Precious growling at her side, she doubted her ability to kill him while he was in that Super Mage state. Her hand was shaking.
The man shut his eyes tight, sharp jaw twitching under the thin line of his mouth, waiting a long time before speaking once again. When he opened them again they were their usual golden brown. "I'm sorry. I did not mean to frighten you. Please, let me explain." He stared at her, imploring her to understand, to give him a chance. There was no anger there, only desperation.
Fuck. Astrid stepped back, letting her hands fall back down to her sides in surrender. "Speak."
"We were going to work together and bring justice to every child ever ripped away from his mother to be sent to the circle. But," the mage crinkled his eyes in a way that made her heart thaw, "I guess I had too much anger. Once he was inside me…he changed."
"So," Astrid began, "you have a Spirit of Justice living in your head?" She tried not to look at him as if he'd just grown another appendage, although in a way he had.
"It's not like that. He's… part of me. It's not like we can have a conversation. I feel his thoughts as my own. Not even the greatest scholar can tell you where I end and he begins."
Astrid could hear the regret in his voice, clear as day. "I-I'm sorry. I don't know what to say, Anders."
He shook his head. "I thought I was helping my friend. He would've…died, I guess. If that even means anything. And he wanted to help me. He knew what mages have suffered. But my anger-when I see templars now, things that have always outraged me but I could never do anything about, he comes out. And he is no longer my friend Justice, he is a force of vengeance and has no grasp of mercy."
That was…deep. Killing him was out of the question now. Astrid couldn't do it, not while his intentions were so well meant. He could have tried to lie, or worse, kill her, but he hadn't. Backing him into the wall with her knife was stupid but she had been angry and his movement had startled her. Looking back, the spirit could have surely torn her in two but Anders had reined it in. It seemed he had some control at least.
"Is there anything I can do for you?" Astrid found herself offering, though she certainly did not have the means to do so. She had enough going on with the Deep Roads expedition and taking care of Leandra and Bethany, but imagining him alone down there with only the voice in his head for comfort pulled on her heartstrings. But really, what could she do? Kiss the bad thoughts away? The thought brought heat to her cheeks and she instantly batted it away. The mage seemed to have enough complications. He didn't need her help.
"You're the first one I've ever told this. Not even Karl knew. It's enough that you didn't run away screaming. Though," he looked down at the knife still in her hands, "you don't seem like the type."
"Err. Sorry." The girl shrugged sheepishly, tucking it into her pocket.
To her surprise, the man let out a short laugh, running a pale hand through his wheat hair. "I can't say I blame you. In any case, my maps are yours." Pausing as if just deciding it now, he added, "As am I if you wish me to join your expedition. If you have any need of me, I will be here."
He reached into his desk and handed her a few faded folds of parchment. As she took them, her slim fingers brushed against his and she quickly looked away, tucking the maps into her other pocket. "I better get back before my uncle and I stumble home at the same time and we both have to guess what the other was doing," she stated with a smile.
The mage grinned, his face lighting up in the process. "I wonder whose guess will be better. Good luck, Astrid."