Alrighty! Here is chapter five! Not a lot of action in this one, but it's pretty drama filled! Also, it's gonna get less canon, but I hope you all dig what I do with it.

AND once again thank you to everyone who has reviewed or added this to their favorite/alert list. It makes me really pumped and it's super nice!

Hawke

"Hawke! I was just talking about you," Varric announced as Astrid and her ragtag team entered the Hanged Man. A few men sitting near the dwarf eyed her with the open skepticism of a group that just heard the lanky creature before them could take down an ogre (either that or he was already spreading the story of how she'd singlehandedly destroyed the Red Tooth gang by the docks). Astrid ignored them, plopping down at the stool next to him.

"Why am I not surprised?" she replied with a weary grin. "Bartender, can you bring my friends a round of drinks?"

"Oh, not me. I don't drink," Anders said quickly. In a lower voice as he sat down beside her, he added, "Justice doesn't really…approve."

"Good to see you, Blondie," Varric acknowledged before turning back to Astrid. "I take it your trip to you and Sunshine's estate went well?"

"Well in that it certainly belongs to us. But that makes our dear old uncle a bigger liar than I already thought he was," Astrid answered bitterly.

She wasn't sure why it bothered her so much that Gamlen lied about her grandfather's will. Sure, it was a downright awful thing for him to do to her mother, leaving her thinking her own parents died angry at her; but it wasn't as if part of her hadn't already suspected he'd been lying. A tiny part of her even understood why he had done it…It wasn't as if they had even been around when the elder Amell's died, and he certainly hadn't thought Leandra and her children would return as refugees. The girl didn't know what to make of the situation.

"Bartrand has always been a great reminder to me that you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family," Varric replied, just as the bartender, Corff, set down her drink. "At least you've got me!"

Astrid laughed. "I'll drink to that."

When the girl turned to tell Bethany that she was happy to call her family at least, her eyes widened at the sight of her downing an entire mug of ale just after Isabela lifted her own empty mug in triumph. At the last gulp, the girl choked and wiped her chin with a giggle.

"Bethany! And mother says I'm the one who will never find a man," she exclaimed in mock horror.

"Who says you need one, Hawke?" Isabela asked with a wink. "But don't fear. We'll find Bethany one, no problem. Look at those breasts!"

The older of the two sisters smirked at the blush that formed on Bethany's cheeks. Maybe Bethany needed someone like Isabela in her life. Astrid was good for keeping the girl safe, but Isabela could help her get out of her shell.

"Oh leave Sunshine alone, Rivaini, you're gonna make her catch on fire."

"I could make her do more than that."

Astrid shook her head, trying not to listen. She was glad for Anders' sudden interference. "Your mother doesn't think you'll find someone?" he asked curiously.

"She's never said it, but I think she fears it," the girl said with a grin. Her mother's increasing worry that she would die a spinster never truly brought her down. "Bethany has always been the alluring one with her dark hair and those big…lips." Astrid took a big sip of her ale. "Mother thinks I'll die a crazy old woman with seven cats."

Anders laughed. "I could think of worse fates."

"Oh that's right, you're a cat person. That's probably your dream." She rolled her eyes before giving him a playful smile.

"Yes, I want to die an old woman. You've discovered my deepest desire," he retorted. "Better that than with a slobbering mongrel at my side."

Astrid downed the rest of her drink to hide her grin. "You're surprisingly funny, you know that?"

"Well, I've been told that in kinder ways," he shot back with a smile.

A few drinks and game of cards later, Anders and Astrid were sitting away from the group at a small table in the corner. He was looking at her in that deep way of his, tilting his head slightly as if looking past her body and somewhere beyond. Astrid had to fight the urge to look down at her dirty nails.

"I had a friend like you once. Got in all kinds of trouble and dragged me along," he said finally. "Didn't think I'd be doing that again."

Astrid was taken aback. Was that a compliment or was he voicing his regret? "I…I'm glad you came around," she replied carefully.

Now it was his turn to look uncomfortable. "I just hope I didn't seem too selfish when I told you about Justice…I didn't know what would happen. I figured a willing host, a friend- it had to be better than playing the demon and haunting some corpse."

"You couldn't have predicted what would happen, Anders. You listened to your heart and hoped for the best. That's all we can really do sometimes," Astrid replied sadly, thinking of everything her family had been through on the way to Kirkwall.

"Kind, wise, and beautiful. You must have made a deal with some demons yourself," the mage murmured with an almost unrecognizable flirtatious smile on his face. Oddly enough, it sat well on him. However, it disappeared with a frown and a shake of his head. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't presume."

Astrid's face was burning with heat. Presume what? She opened her mouth to say something, anything to get him to flirt with her again, but the man cut her off.

"I just…We've only just met and I feel like I know you. Am I making you uncomfortable?"

The mage was hovering inches away, looking at her intensely. His amber gaze threatened to swallow her up where she sat. Meanwhile Astrid was feeling dizzy. Whether it was the alcohol or the slight waft of mint drifting off of him just under the Hanged Man's signature scent of piss and sweat, she wasn't sure. All she knew was that she wanted to see that smile again more than anything.

"You're certainly not making me uncomfortable," interjected a sultry voice that was suddenly between them. Isabela eyed the two like a cat stalking its prey. "As much as I'd love to see how this plays out, there's an issue with your sister."

Astrid was on her feet in a flash, bar stool falling on the floor behind her. "Where is she?"

"Varric has her outside. She's spewing chunks in the alleyway," the pirate answered.

Astrid's shoulders sagged in relief. Thank Andraste. "I thought she was being kidnapped!"

"'An issue' translates to kidnapping with you?" Isabela inquired quizzically, but Astrid was already elbowing through the crowd to get to the exit.

The cool night air hit her hard, but did not stop the girl as she practically leaped down the steps and rounded the corner to where her sister was sitting on the hard gravel street, Varric patting her back affectionately. "Beth!" she exclaimed, and sank down next to her.

She smoothed the young mage's dark locks across her warm forehead and hugged her close. Bethany groaned sickly against the girl's shoulder and she let out a small laugh. "What will mother say when we get home?"

"She'll probably blame you," Bethany moaned.

Astrid snorted. "Most likely. I'll think of an excuse anyway. Can you stand up?"

"Blondie and I can help you," Varric said.

Astrid peered up at the flaxen haired mage with surprise. She hadn't even noticed he followed her out. She swallowed the dry feeling in her throat and concentrated on Bethany again. "No, I've got her," Astrid insisted, dragging the girl up.

"Let me walk you home," Anders offered. "I should get going anyway."

"I, uh-alright. We live close to here. Varric, I'll see you soon! Thank you," Astrid exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, Varric! Miss youuu!" Bethany slurred.

"No need for apologies, Sunshine. Sleep well."

The walk to Gamlen's house was mostly silent aside from a few mumbled apologies from Bethany, and crooned comfort words from Astrid. Anders was quiet and vigilant, constantly looking around for any templars or meandering thugs taking in the moonlight. When they reached the stone building in which they resided, Astrid stopped and looked up at the healer. She had always been tall and rather gawky compared to the other girls growing up, and was even more stretched out than some of the boys, but he stood a few inches taller than her, at least with his boots on, she noted, staring down at them. "I'd better bring her inside."

"Could I talk to you after?"

Uh oh. The words were not said in a sexy way. No, he was not even smiling. He sounded like the Revered Mother all those years ago when she requested to talk to Astrid about who had been tipping the cattle in the fields. She had half a mind to turn him down and call it a night, but instead found herself nodding in agreement.

When she and Bethany stumbled inside the tiny house, Leandra and Gamlen were sitting by the fire, talking quietly about something.

"What in the Maker's name is wrong with her?" Gamlen demanded at the sight of Bethany's pale face.

"She's sick," Astrid replied sharply, glaring daggers at the man. "She started feeling ill on the walk home and threw up on the street, the poor thing."

"Oh, my dear Bethany!" Leandra cried, rushing over. The younger girl sighed into her mother's embrace."Has she been ill all day?"

The older of the two daughters forced a blank expression. "No, she started retching just a few minutes ago, out of nowhere. It was the strangest thing."

Leandra looked like she was going to question her further, but Bethany let out another pitiful moan. Their mother frowned and rubbed her back. "Let's put you to bed, my sweet girl."

Astrid kissed her sibling's forehead and stood by the door of the bedroom, eying her uncle warily as she waited. Precious noticed her gaze from where the mabari was sprawled on the floor and also looked at Gamlen, though it was more inquisitive than angry. She probably thought he had some treats and was holding back on her.

"What?" he demanded sourly.

The girl merely shook her head. When Leandra returned, Astrid retrieved the rolled up parcel from their estate and handed it to her mother. "I'll leave him to you," she mumbled, and slipped back outside without a glance at her uncle. Truthfully, she didn't want to be there for what came next.

The mage was sitting on the stone steps outside the house when she returned, closing the heavy door behind her. Astrid crossed the distance between them and took a seat on the spot beside him.

"Well, Bethany's in bed and I gave my mother the will. So that's settled," she mumbled.

"You didn't give your uncle a beating while you were in there?" the mage asked, a faint smile etching his face.

Astrid smirked. "No. I'll let my mother handle it. After all, he's the one who betrayed her…Imagine spending half your life thinking that your parents hated you, all because you fell in love with someone you weren't supposed to," she murmured sadly.

"Your mother sounds like a strong woman to endure that," Anders said. "I don't remember my parents. They gave me to the Circle when I was very young."

"Anders, I'm so sorry. That's terrible." Astrid's whole life was dedicated to keeping her family out of the Circle and away from the templars. To think that others would simply abandon their own, especially someone so kind and good as Anders was…unimaginable.

He shrugged. "Most people don't know what to do when their children possess magic. The Circle is the only option for some. Bethany is lucky she had your father to train her. And that you were there to protect her."

"I couldn't do anything else. If I lost Bethany…" She had to suck in a deep breath at the thought. Carver's image flashed in her mind, his jaw clenched and dark hair wild as he ran towards the gargantuan drooling ogre that day. Losing her sister wasn't an option.

"You won't," Anders assured her, putting a hand on her knee. "You're as strong willed as you are beautiful. The templars won't get her anytime soon."

The mere feeling of his hand on her tied her stomach in tingling knots. And there was that word again. Did he really think she was beautiful?

"Feel free to keep calling me that, by the way," Astrid said boldly, summoning her old self, the girl who used to shamelessly flirt with her brother's friends to embarrass him and could make even the meanest of farmboys blush at her passing. Bethany had the more captivating looks but Astrid had the charm.

"Strong willed?" he asked, arching an eyebrow with a grin.

Astrid laughed. "You know exactly which word I was referring to."

"Oh, I'm sure I could get more creative," the mage replied in a low voice. Suddenly though, his hand was drawn back and he stood up. "No. I shouldn't do this. I shouldn't have even said anything in the tavern. This can't end well."

Astrid let out a groan. "I knew I'd regret coming back out here to talk to you. Is this the part where you let me down gently?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Anders ran a hand through his blonde mane, pacing like an animal in a cage. "You don't understand. I'll only hurt you."

"What makes you think you'll hurt me?" she asked, clearly flabbergasted.

"You saw what I did at the Chantry last week. That's who I am. You don't want that."

"How do you know what I want?" Astrid asked softly, catching his eye and holding his gaze.

The man looked away first, closing his eyes. "A year ago…maybe we could have had something. But I'm not that man anymore," he said miserably.

The girl let out a frustrated sigh at the finality in his tone. "You really shouldn't start things you can't finish."

Astrid felt…hurt. Not to mention embarrassed. Of course, she thought. The one time you open up to someone, and this is what happens. With a shake of her head, she cooled the fire that was threatening to pour from her mouth and burn the man where he stood. It's not a big deal, she told herself. You hardly know him and it's better that he wanted to be honest and end it before it could begin rather than string you along. Though somehow that didn't make her feel any better.

When Anders didn't reply, she spoke up again. "You're right. This was a bad idea. I need you for the Deep Roads expedition and I can't compromise it. Everything I care about is riding on this." Astrid stood up and approached him. "Can I still count on you for that?"

The man nodded solemnly. "I will go to the Deep Roads with you…And my offer to help you with anything else still stands."

"I would appreciate that," she replied with a forced smile. "And let's not let Varric hear about this. The last thing we need is him trying to write an epic love poem about us."

His expression remained dark and unreadable. "I'll keep my lips sealed. Goodnight, Astrid."

"You know, you really do know how to work that sexy tortured look though," the girl called out to him as he backed away.

Anders' jaw dropped and a mournful look crossed his face, as if he thought he was going to have to turn her down all over again.

Astrid lifted her hands up to ward off any more apologies and let out a short laugh. "I'm joking!"

The mage shook his head with a humorless laugh as he continued on his walk back to Darktown. "Not funny."

"It's a little funny," she muttered to herself with a slight frown. "But not very."

Astrid allowed her body to slide down onto the cool ground in front of the stairs leading to Gamlen's. She sat there for a long time, listening to his heavy footsteps subside and the faint screeching of Leandra yelling at Gamlen through the front door. She tried in vain to keep her mind off the way he'd avoided her eyes, face contorted with a struggle that she didn't understand. It's better this way, she told herself yet again, repressing a sigh.

Anders

Any relationship with that woman would be futile. She is not a mage and serves no purpose to your cause, Justice boomed as Anders made his way back to the Clinic. The spirit's arguments were useless though. It was as if her image were burned into the back of his eyelids. Everytime he closed his eyes, he saw her sitting there, mouth slightly open and eyes filled with hurt. Twice he'd nearly turned around to take it all back and pull her into his arms, but each time he decided against it, forcing himself onward.

I'm a fool, the man thought sadly as he slammed the doors of the clinic shut behind him. He didn't bother locking them. Any common thief could pick their way in and it wasn't as if he had anything worth stealing anyway.

Now she probably thought he was an utter prick, shamelessly flirting and then backing out suddenly. He remembered her words with a wince. You really shouldn't start things you can't finish.

She was right of course. He should never have said anything. He had never intended to peruse anything with the young archer. He could admit that he admired her, but he never planned on acting on it. Yet seeing her in the tavern, so happy and radiant, all wit and smiles, had awakened something in him that he had thought was long gone. He couldn't stop himself from flirting. It had been so long since he'd been with a woman and just talking to her was like a drug. It took all his power just to keep from asking her to join him in one of the rooms upstairs.

Not that she would have. But that was the appeal, he supposed. She wasn't the type to seek out cheap thrills or jump into bed with a man she hardly knew. This girl…was real. She had goals and responsibilities, and genuinely cared about things. But not him, not anymore. There was no way she would be foolish enough to care for him now.

That night Anders tossed and turned in his bed for hours, thinking of what he could have and should have said. However, Justice always found away to insert himself, rumbling about how Anders needed to concentrate and think of new ways to fight for the mages. Everytime he tried to relax into a vision of what may have happened had he continued to win her over, the spirit cut in with admonishments that filled him with guilt and regret. It was exhausting. In the end, Anders barely closed his eyes before it was time to open up his clinic and greet another lonely day.