So this chapter is definitely lacking in the Anders department, but hey, the guy does have a clinic to run. Don't worry though, my few but lovely readers, the next chapter will have a heavy dose of the 'Ders. Thanks for reading!

Astrid

"Aveline! It's so lovely to see you," Leandra greeted as she opened the door for the Captain of the Guard.

Aveline smiled and held lifted a hand that was holding a wrapped loaf of bread. "You as well, Mistress Hawke. Where should I put this?"

"Oh, thank you dear. I'll set it on the table." Leandra took the loaf from their old friend and set it down next to the steaming pot of stew already waiting to be served.

The guard looked over Leandra to the two Hawke sisters. Bethany was standing by the fire with a warm smile while Astrid was leaning against the door frame to the siblings' room, trying not to sulk too badly about it not being Anders standing in her kitchen with a changed mind. Oh well. She was glad to see her old friend nevertheless.

"Bethany," Aveline acknowledged. "Hawke."

"Does no one know I have a first name?" Astrid complained with a teasing grin. She was only half serious however. She preferred that thugs only knew her by her last name. Hawke. it made her sound tough, fearsome even. Or at least she liked to pretend it did.

"That apostate mage calls you by your first name," the copper haired woman pointed out.

"I have a name too, you know," Bethany bristled. She crossed her arms over her chest and scowled, looking adorable.

I've got to remember to teach her how to be menacing later, Astrid noted. She was Carver's twin after all, so it really shouldn't be that difficult. Carver could frown up a storm. And Maker, it wasn't pretty.

Aveline rolled her eyes. "No. I was talking about Anders."

Astrid cringed as Leandra looked up with wide eyes. "Anders? Who is that, darling?"

The guard captain's brows twisted in confusion and she deigned to answer for her. "You've never met him? Anders is the Grey Warden that has been helping-"

"Helping Bethany brush up on her healing spells!" Astrid interrupted, practically yelling across the small living space.

"Bethany," the matron of the family gasped. "You didn't tell me a man was helping you with your spells! How long has this been going on?"

The young mage's mouth fell open in shock, eyes moving to Aveline's suspicious glare to Astrid's look of innocence and finally settling on their mother. "Uh…not too long." She looked over at her sister for help.

Astrid did not like the way Leandra's eyes lit up as she said "man." She could almost see the words "marriage" and "grandchildren" floating before the aging woman's eyes. Great. As if her and Anders' friendship wasn't weird enough already. Now her mother would want him to help bear grandchildren…with Bethany.

"He's, er, a very old, wizened mage. Seems to know quite a lot. Father would have liked him," Astrid lied, at least about the old wizened part. Now that she thought about it, her father probably would have liked Anders. The thought brought a little pain to her chest with the knowledge that they could never meet.

Leandra's face fell at the idea of marriage crumbling. Sorry mother! "Oh. Well I'm sure he's a great tutor anyway."

"Darktown's finest," Astrid reassured her, elbowing Bethany.

"Yes, yes. Of course," Bethany confirmed.

Aveline was glaring daggers now at the older Hawke sister, making the girl's skin suddenly feel warm and itchy. "It's ah, very hot in here. I think I need some air. You look rather hot, too Aveline. Why don't you join me?"

The guard simply grunted and practically dragged the young woman out the door.

Oh shit, she thought in a panic. She quickly ran through Aveline's moves in her mind, desperately trying to figure out if she could take her in a fight. The girl was quick and a fantastic shot but the guard was a battering ram of power. Maker help me. Astrid gulped as the door slammed behind them.

"Hawke, have you even told your mother about the Deep Roads expedition?" the woman demanded.

"Uh. You see, I've been slowly working up to it," Astrid replied sheepishly.

Aveline frowned. "It's only a few weeks away! When were you planning on telling her?"

"Tomorrow?"

"A likely story." The copper haired woman pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. "You need to tell her. Tonight."

"Aveline, you know she won't be happy about this. She's going to worry herself sick and put all her energy into begging me to stay."

The woman was unyielding. "Maybe she'll talk some sense into you."

Astrid sighed exasperatedly. "I need to do this. You should know by now that I'm not going to just sit here and let an opportunity pass. The expedition will pave the way to a home in Hightown for Bethany and Mother. It's the expedition or watching them wither in Lowtown until the templars lock us all away."

"Still, Hawke. Leandra deserves some notice at least. After all she's been through…" Aveline trailed off, undoubtedly thinking of their rushed departure from Fereldan.

Guilt pooled in the base of her stomach. The guardswoman had a point. The memory of her mother sobbing over Carver's dead body flashed before her eyes, Leandra screaming that it was all her fault as Astrid stood by in total shock and disbelief at what had happened. Carver had been young and handsome and invincible. He'd acted before she knew what was even happening but in her mother's eyes she'd let him down. Astrid knew that she didn't mean it, not truly, but she would never forget the pain in her mother's face and the way she'd spat the words at her: You should have stopped him! How could you just let him run ahead? The memory still haunted her, crept up on her if she had too much time on her hands or if she let her mind drift towards thoughts of Lothering and the Blight.

Will she scream at Bethany like that if I don't come back? Will she break down and never leave the house while Gamlen gambles away more of their property and everything goes to shit? Astrid shuddered. It was easy to talk with Bethany and Varric and imagine the jewels and the clothes and the luxurious furniture they'd own in Hightown, but in a way it was so much easier to imagine how horribly it could all go.

Don't go there, she reminded herself. The expedition is the best thing for them.

"I'll tell her," Astrid agreed. "But only because you'd kick my ass if I didn't."

Aveline snorted. "Don't deflect."

"I'm not joking. You would definitely kick my ass, Aveline," Astrid laughed.

"Probably," the guard replied finally with a shrug.

Dinner was pleasant. Gamlen had been spending less and less time at the house since the revelation that he had conned Leandra out of her rightful property, and his absence was appreciated by all. It would be easier to tell her mother about the expedition without her uncle sitting in the corner making snide remarks, though he hadn't made many recently for obvious reasons. The man was simply too easy a target for the Hawke sisters' snarky rebuttals. Even Bethany couldn't resist.

Astrid ate her stew slowly, savoring the warm but watery taste despite it not coming close to anything Leandra had cooked in Lothering. Times were harder now and she was grateful for the few vegetables and the small pieces of meat that her mother had managed to buy at the market. She was also grateful for the bread that Aveline brought, stuffing her face with it every time the woman gave her a pointed look and a glance towards Leandra. Finally though, as her mother gingerly pat her face with a handkerchief at the conclusion of the meal, Astrid spoke up.

"Mother, there's something I need to tell you," the girl said, a little too loudly in the small space.

Leandra instantly frowned, her whole face darkening with grim anxiety. "What is it? Is there a warrant for your arrest?"

"No, not today mother."

"Are you…" Leandra's expression became unreadable. "Do you…" she lowered her voice to a whisper, "prefer the company of women?"

Astrid's cheeks flushed bright red as Bethany giggled. "No! What made you think that?" she demanded.

"It's just been a long time since you've had a young man in your life, dear. Besides, you've always been a bit of a…tomboy. If you are, I understand, darling. Everyone always thought your great aunt Wilhelmina was-"

Great. Even her mother noticed her love life was lacking. Astrid groaned. "Mother, no. I like men. This is about me going down to the Deep Roads on an expedition."

A thick silence stretched between them that encompassed the entire room as Leandra's face slowly crumpled with horror and confusion. "The Deep Roads…but they're filled with darkspawn. You can't!"

"There will be less darkspawn there because of the Blight. There's only a brief window before-"

"How long have you been planning this? Why didn't you tell me? What is this expedition even for?" Leandra demanded in breathless outrage.

"It's for profit. There are so many ancient valuable things down there just waiting to be discovered. I plan to pay our way into Hightown with whatever we find there," Astrid explained.

Leandra didn't seem to notice that a few of her questions were ignored. "We? Who is we? Bethany, are you involved in this?"

Bethany bit her lip. "Define involved…"

"No, she's not," Astrid denied. "She's known about it, but I made her keep it from you. I just…I didn't want to worry you, mother. I know it was wrong, but after everything in Lothering I couldn't bear to see you upset."

The matron Hawke drew in a deep breath, reigning in her emotions. "I am glad you finally told me, but I am asking you: please do not go."

"Mother-"

Leandra shook her head. "How could you even consider going down to where those beasts live after what happened to our Carver, or Aveline's Wesley?" she demanded, voice shaking.

Astrid glanced at her friend, but the stern woman was looking down at her lap, her lips slipped into a slight frown. She apparently wanted nothing to do with the conversation, beyond forcing her into it, though Astrid couldn't blame her. In all the time that she'd known the warrior woman, Aveline had never spoken of her dead husband unless prompted to, and even then her comments were short.

"I'm going, mother," Astrid replied quietly. "There's no way you and Beth can ever live in your old estate in Hightown or be nobles unless I go. We can't live here with Gamlen forever…as tempting as it is," she added with a smile.

Leandra sighed, rubbing her tired green eyes in defeat. "You're an adult, so I suppose there's no stopping you. All I ask is that you leave Bethany home."

"What?" the dark haired sister demanded.

"You're the youngest, Bethany. I can't let my baby go to the Deep Roads. I won't allow it."

"What if I want to? What if I don't want to wait around up here for the templars to take me?" Bethany declared.

Astrid could barely contain the gaping look she gave her sibling. She had had no idea that Bethany actually desired to join the expedition. She would never force the girl to go with her in any lifetime, and was not even planning on asking if she would want to. She just assumed that going into an endless amount of intertwining tunnels filled with darkspawn was not on her sister's 'to-do' list. But if Bethany was to go, who was Astrid to deny her? The girl was an adult and could make her own decision. Both of them were.

"She has a point," Astrid said. However, the look on her mother's face made her add, "Though there are a few weeks yet. We can work things out later."

"Fine. Maker knows you do what you want anyway. But Bethany, we're discussing this later." Leandra sighed and the two sisters exchanged a small victory smile. Even Aveline looked relieved that the truth was out at least. The details could wait, but the Deep Roads expedition was settled and coming up soon. Meanwhile, Astrid still had other business to attend to.

The first person she notticed in the crowded Hanged Man was Varric, of course. Perhaps it was the magnetism of his chest hair displayed under his leather duster, or maybe the way his presence simply demanded attention wherever he was, but her eyes caught his in the back of the room and he gave her a nod. Surrounding him were half a dozen angry looking dwarven men, all speaking at him, rather than to him, all at once.

Astrid glanced at him curiously but decided to linger by the bar and order a drink. As close as they'd become since they'd met, the dwarf's business was his own and it was mostly private, even to her. Slowly though, the group that was gathered around her friend began to filter out, grumbling to themselves as they passed. Astrid heard quite a few "lousy nuglicker"s along with the name Bartrand. Well, that was no surprise. Astrid had met Bartrand only once and there was no question of who the better Tethras was.

Finally Varric approached and eased into the chair beside her as if it was made for him. With his precious repeating crossbow Bianca at his back and a wry grin on his face, the man was simply too smooth for his own good. Astrid wondered idly if others saw her that way and had to repress a snort. Yeah, not in this Age.

"What's got their beards in a twist?" she inquired after a sip of her ale. "Skip too many Merchant's Guild meetings?"

Varric shook his head in disgust. "No. I actually went this week and I've still got them breathing down my neck, this time because of my idiot brother. Bartrand decided to rally the men who are on the expedition by insulting three of their mothers and threatening to leave any possible dissenters to golems."

Astrid could not help but let out a loud laugh as Varric rubbed his temples. "Bartrand certainly seems to know how to inspire people he'll be stuck in dark caverns with for weeks."

"Yeah, and I have to be the one to reassure them that he's not going to abandon them or feed them to the darkspawn," Varric said. "He should be thanking the Ancestors that he's got a smartass brother to bail him out of these types of things."

"Oh Varric, I'm sure he appreciates you deep, deep, deep, deep-"

"Hawke-"

"Deep, deep, deep deep down," she finished with a grin.

Varric snorted. "I'm just going to count him as useless and rely on you, Blondie, and those maps of his to lead us down there."

Astrid smiled involuntarily at the dwarf's nickname for Anders. Despite the hard line of his jaw, the intensity of his gaze and his manner, the name suited the Grey Warden. It certainly matched the unruly golden hair he kept pulled back from his face, but also hinted at a side of him that most rarely got to see. Sometimes when they were playing cards or talking while she helped him clean up in the clinic, she imagined an Anders that could have had a few different nicknames and whose jokes and grins came easily. He'd told her enough stories about his time in Ameranthine with the Wardens that suggested there was more to him than a struggle for mage's rights.

Suddenly she thought of the way he'd taken her hand earlier when he'd walked her to Gamlen's and her heart thudded against her chest like a caged bird. Tomorrow she'd tell him about the meeting with Cullen and they could laugh off all the seriousness brought on by the missing templar case and the irony that she was even helping the order, and have some peace before the expedition. Maybe she'd bring him some left over stew...

"Hawke, as much as I love to see you grinning like a fool, a lost looking templar just walked in and I think we both know who he's looking for," Varric stated.

"Huh? Oh." Astrid's face grew hot as she slipped out of her reverie.

Sure enough, Cullen was standing at the entrance of the tavern warily scanning the crowd with his deep grey eyes. Instead of the signature heavy silver templar armor with the flaming sword emblazoned on the breastplate, the man wore a dark green shirt and brown trousers. A sword remained at his side and with his wide shoulders and the lean muscle that curved underneath his sleeves he was no less imposing.

"How do we both know who he's looking for?" Astrid wondered. "Or that he's a templar?"

"I could say that I have mysterious ways of knowing these things…but I actually ran into Blondie on my way over here and he gave me a description." Varric shrugged.

"What did he have to say?" Astrid asked. She had a feeling she wouldn't like the answer.

"Blondie didn't seem too keen on him," the dwarf stated neutrally, watching Astrid closely.

The Knight Captain caught her eye now and was parting through the sea of people drinking and dancing and laughing. He was almost tough looking enough to fit in but was too clean cut to look like anything but a fish out of water among the bar's shady patrons. He politely edged by a group of swarthy men in heated conversation and avoided getting a tipsy-looking woman's drink spilled down his front.

"Yeah, Anders doesn't trust a templar. I can't possibly imagine why," Astrid remarked. "I think he's alright enough though," she added quietly as Cullen approached.

"Hello ser," she greeted with a smile as he reached their spot at the bar."Varric, this is Knight Captain Cullen. Knight Captain, this is my friend Varric Tethras."

"Cullen will suffice, serrah Hawke," he replied warmly. The templar shook Varric's hand and took a seat. "Pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise," the dwarf replied with a crooked smile.

"And Hawke suits me fine, Cullen," Astrid replied with a grin. She thought of asking him to call her Astrid, but why start telling people to do that now? "Actually anything is better than 'Fereldan Dog,'" she amended with a laugh.

Cullen's pale face lit up. "I thought your accent was familiar. What part of Fereldan are you from?"

"I moved around some, but Lothering was my home for years," Astrid replied. Her smile widened at the knowledge that he was one of her countrymen. "Whereabouts did you live?"

"Kinloch Hold," he answered rather awkwardly. Astrid could have slapped herself. Well, duh. Of course he lived at Circle Tower. "But I grew up in Honleath."

"Ah, I lived there for a few months. We could have been neighbors!" she exclaimed.

Cullen grinned. "Small world. Why did your family travel so frequently, if you don't mind my asking?"

"My father was...restless. He loved to travel. But something about Lothering made him plant his feet down," she said fondly. "He died only a few years later, but at least he was happy."

"I'm sorry for your loss-and for Lothering. I was sad to hear of it's falling," he said, shaking his head.

Astrid shrugged. Lothering was the closest thing to home that she'd ever known, but the loss of Carver would always be greater and more prominent to her than the destruction of the town. The only things that made her miss Lothering were the memories she'd had there with her family back when Carver and her father were alive with them. "I'm just glad I reached Kirkwall with my mother and sister. Thing could have been far worse."

Cullen nodded solemnly. "Life in Kirkwall is easy for few, but there is opportunity here that was lost in Fereldan. I'm glad to be here as well."

Right. Astrid was sure there was a lot of opportunity for templars here in Kirkwall. There were more than twice as many mages here as there were in Lothering, and the opportunity to lock people like her sister away never seemed to be lacking. With the reminder of what exactly the almost deceivingly pleasant man did for a living, Astrid no longer felt like chatting. "So tell me, have you seen something similar to what happened to Wilmod occur before?"

"Normally we only worry that mages will fall victim to possession. I have heard of blood mages or demons in solid form who could summon others into unwilling hosts." Cullen shook his head in disbelief. "I had not thought one of our own would be susceptible."

Varric raised his thick eyebrows. "A templar abomination? You don't see that every day."

"Do you think there are blood mages in the Gallows that are causing this?" Astrid wondered. In the back of her mind she knew Anders would probably unhappy that she asked this, but it was entirely possible. It had certainly brought trouble to the Order and would create unease among the ranks. Actually it was a bit clever, though dark and twisted.

"Anything is possible when it comes to mages. They are as volatile and unpredictable as the weather," Cullen replied with a deep frown. He looked older then, though he was probably just a few years older than she was. It was his eyes, she decided. There was both prejudice and pain embedded into their stony surface. Astrid recognized that look. He wasn't the type who was simply raised to fear what he didn't understand. There was more to it than that.

"However, I don't think that the templars are being harmed by mages in the Gallows," Cullen added.

"Could it be someone in the Templar Order itself? Like Meredith?" Astrid asked, deciding to ignore his flawed opinions concerning mages. She'd heard many things about the Knight Commander, and none of them were flattering. "The recruits I spoke to believe she is conducting some sort of deadly ritual."

"What? That's preposterous," the Knight Captain replied with a chuckle. "Recruits can be worse than a weaving circle with their rumors. There is a vigil before new templars take their arms, but the gravest danger they face is falling asleep."

"What horrors they put you through!" Astrid exclaimed with a grin.

For a second she wondered if the Knight Captain would take it the wrong way and lecture her about the strict duties of the Templar Order, but to her utmost relief, he let out a hearty laugh. "And you probably thought it was all scowling at meek apprentices and looking grave outside the Gallows."

Her flaxen brows shot up in surprise at his jest and she found herself smiling in embarrassment despite herself. Truthfully, that was exactly what she thought. In fact, she'd also been convinced of worse, which made her feel uncomfortable under his kind gaze. He was certainly set in his ways but it seemed unlikely to her that he would ever be outright cruel to mages. With a cough, Astrid got back to business.

"Well I can check Meredith torturing young templars off the list, but you insisted on meeting here without the presence of one of...my more unique companions." The girl didn't use the word 'mage' for fear that he would suddenly remember that he should be down in Darktown arresting Anders. "You must know something more, Cullen," Astrid pointed out, holding his gaze. She needed him to trust her. There was no way Keren would be found while they sat around in a tavern avoiding facts.

The man nodded and looked around them before moving closer to her and Varric. A clean soap smell radiated from him, she noticed, and his eyes had a touch of blue in them. "I have tried to be discreet in my investigation, but I fear my discretion has done nothing to aid the missing recruits." The man paused and let out a low sigh. "Now that Wilmod is deceased, the only one left is Keren. They were last seen together at the Blooming Rose. But I had no luck interrogating the…young ladies there. I doubt they know anything about magic or demons."

"A big man in a position of power didn't have luck at the Blooming Rose? Kid, you must be doing something wrong," Varric said to the flushed templar.

"Well. I guess you'll have to go back with more persuasive help," Astrid declared. "Varric, are you with us?"

"W-what? I would never ask a lady to go to a brothel, Hawke," Cullen stammered. "There's no need for you to put yourself in that position."

Astrid let out a laugh. "Well, it's nice that someone around here sees me as a lady, Cullen, but really, it's fine. I'm sure Isabela is already down there, probably elbows deep in-"

"Hawke, even I don't want to think about that," the dwarf interrupted with a sour face. "Let's go."

"Alright, alright. Let me just pay for my drink," she muttered, reaching for her coin purse.

However, Cullen was already digging a few coins out of his pocket and holding them out to Corff the bartender, who had been standing close by cleaning a glass. Probably listening in, the bastard, Astrid thought, eying him suspiciously. Whatever. The only gossip the man seemed to have was about the bird populations of Fereldan.

"Please allow me," Cullen said warmly as she opened her mouth to protest.

"That's generous of you," the girl murmured, watching his face heat up furiously.

"It was nothing," the man mumbled, walking ahead to clear a path for them, leaving her standing by the bar with a quizzical expression.

Varric gave her a very pointed look to which Astrid simply replied with a shrug. No idea what his problem is.