One would imagine that Bowser would've knocked it off by now. However, the King of the Koopas never quite knew when to call it quits. Case in point: he was currently sneaking around the premises of the gang's next attraction: Buzz Lightyear's Astroblasters, nestled comfortably within the Retro Zone of DisneyQuest.
"So, Pop…" Bowser Jr. began, "What are we gonna do this time? Run 'em over with one of the cars here?"
"Not quite, Son," Bowser explained, opening up a small pouch full of bob-ombs, "you know how this ride works?"
"Looks just like bumper cars to me, dad!" Jr. replied, motioning to the huge collection of vehicles in the enclosed cage, "Although… Are they shooting something at each other?"
Bowser promptly snapped his fingers.
"Exactly! The huge gimmick for this ride is that you can drive over these giant plastic balls and then shoot 'em at the other cars! Of course, all we have to do is replace them with a few bob-ombs and then sit back and watch the fireworks… literally!"
With that, the Koopa King dumped the bag of bombs out into the playing field and then quickly ran off.
"Quick, Son! We gotta hide somewhere and watch!"
The dubious duo found a rather large trash can a short distance off. Although it was an obvious tight fit for the bigger turtle, both father and son were able to squeeze into the can and watch the inevitable carnage from there.
"Heh heh heh… This is a great spot, Pops!" Bowser Jr. cheered, "A little stinky, maybe, but we've got a great view and there's no way any of those blasts could affect us from here!"
"Exactly!" Bowser agreed, "Your father is a genius, like always! Oh look! Here comes those losers now!"
Mario, Luigi, Peach, Daisy, Wario, and Waluigi had just entered the attraction and began to select their vehicles.
"Well, it looks like each car holds two people," Luigi observed, "one driver and one gunner… Double Dash tournament, anyone?"
"Ha! We'll beat you all!" Wario taunted, "We'll be across the finish line before you guys even get off the starting grid!"
"Um… Wario… This isn't a race…" Peach corrected, "It's just bumper cars…"
"Oh… I knew that. Really. So, uh… How's this: Whoever blasts the snot outta the other guys the most is the winner!"
"What's the prize?" Daisy inquired.
"If you guys win, nothing. If we win, you have to be our slaves for a day!"
"Uh huh… Okay, how about 'no'?"
"Huh? Why not? I think that's a great prize…"
The rest of the group decided to leave Wario in suspense and simply walk to their cars. Not surprisingly, the teams were Mario and Luigi, Peach and Daisy, and Wario and Waluigi.
"Okie dokie," Mario sighed, getting a firm grip on the steering wheel, "ready to go, Luigi?"
"Yep!" Luigi replied, giving his brother a thumbs up, "Let's-a go!"
Once the ride started up, Wario and Waluigi immediately began ramming into as many people as possible as they forced their way over a few plastic balls… and some bob-ombs.
"Yeah! Move it, suckers!" Wario shouted, "The WARIO is in the house, and he ain't losing to a bunch of losers!"
"Hey, uh… Wario?" Waluigi interrupted, "I hate to disturb your awesome taunting, but get a look at this."
The purple plumber held up a bob-omb.
"Huh? Where'd you get that?" Wario asked, "And how'd you get it past security?"
"I dunno! It's not mine! I just found it in the little ammo holder thingy! It's like some idiot replaced some of the balls with these things!"
"WHOA!!! WAIT A SECOND HERE!!!" Wario yelled, realization hitting like a two-by-four, "Someone's tryin' to blow us up with that thing! Don't leave it in here, you moron! Get rid of it!"
"What!? What should I do!? Shoot it outta the cannon!?" Waluigi suggested, loading the bob-omb into said weapon.
"You can't do that, stupid! You'll blow someone else up! Not that I care if Mario gets blown to Kingdom Come, but it would kinda ruin another vacationer's day. I mean, come on, I'm not that heartless."
"It certainly didn't seem that way when we lost that tennis match…" the purple plumber recalled, "We nearly blew up the whole stadium that time!"
"Yeah, well, I was in a bad mood that day… But I'm degressin'! We got a bob-omb to take care of here!"
Meanwhile, Mario and Luigi were just now discovering the same thing.
"Hey, bro…" Luigi began, "Since when did they use bob-ombs as ammo here?"
"Huh?" Mario asked, nearly dodging an incoming projectile fired by Peach and Daisy, "What do you mean?"
"Look!" Luigi explained, holding up a small, walking bomb, "This thing showed up in the collection bin! What should we do?"
"Hmm…" Mario mused, unusually calm considering the dire situation, "Is the bob-omb active?"
"WHAT!? Uh… No, the fuse isn't lit, if that's what you're asking."
"Phew… If that's the case, it's not gonna blow unless it gets hit violently. You know, like if it was… Launched out of one of these cannons…"
"Uh… I guess I should hold onto this little bugger, then…" Luigi concluded, "You keep driving over them and grab as many as you can!"
Of course, Mario obliged. While the Mario Bros. were collecting the dangerous projectiles, Peach and Daisy came across their first bob-omb.
"Oh my gosh!" Peach squealed, "Daisy, is that what I think it is!?"
"A bob-omb? Uh… Yeah, I think so…" Daisy replied, inspecting what their vehicle had just picked up, "I guess this is more like Double Dash than Luigi first thought."
"But… But… Shouldn't we do something about that!? I mean, it's a bomb!"
"It doesn't look like it's gonna go off anytime soon. The fuse isn't even lit!" Daisy explained, "I'll keep this thing with us until the end of the ride, and then we'll see what we can do!"
For the three pairs, the ride couldn't have ended soon enough. Once all the cars slowed down to a complete stop. Everyone piled out of their vehicles. Much to Mario's relief, it appeared that only everyone in his party had wound up with the bombs. None of the other guests on the ride seemed to have any.
"Huh? You got 'em too?" Wario asked, arms full of bob-ombs, "Aw man, I shoulda found you while I was out there! If I shot you with a bob-omb while you had a bunch, the chain-reaction woulda been awesome!"
"Wario, this isn't exactly a humorous situation!" Peach hissed, "We have a bunch of explosions and we're in a very public place!"
Luigi looked around until he spotted a large trash can nearby.
"Hey! I know!" Luigi declared, "Let's just dump them in there!"
"Great idea, Luigi!" Mario cheered, "Come on, let's get rid of these bob-ombs!"
The group ran over to the trash can and dumped the bombs into it as quickly as they could. Obviously, none of them wanted to be holding onto the explosives for any longer.
"Phew, that was a close one!" Mario gasped, "Okay, let's go do something a little less dangerous now, agreed?"
"Agreed," everyone replied.
As the group walked off, Luigi turned to Mario.
"Gee, I wonder who would put all those bob-ombs in there?" the green-clad plumber asked, "Bowser?"
"Don't be ridiculous, Luigi!" Mario retorted, "Bowser's probably still back in the Mushroom Kingdom, moping about how we didn't invite him on this trip!"
"I guess you're right… Hey, are those arcade games over there?"
Luigi ran off, with his brother not far behind. Once the Mario Bros. were gone, there was an immediate commotion heard within the trash can.
"GAH!!! QUICK!!! GET 'EM OUTTA HERE, SON!!!"
"I'M TRYIN' POPS!!! I'M TRYIN'!!!"
The garbage can began hopping around almost comically, an occasional bob-omb popping out of the top and landing nearby. In the middle of this chaos, Bowser Jr. started sniffling uncontrollably.
"Ah… Ah… Ah…"
"ACK!!! SON!!! DON'T!!!"
"Ah… Ah… AHCOO!!!"
A small spout of flame accompanied the sneeze, which promptly lit the fuses of every bob-omb still inside the trash can.
"Aw, shroom…" Bowser groaned, "Not again…"
"Anyway, I just hope no one gets hurt by those bob-ombs." Luigi concluded from his end of the air hockey table, hitting the puck away when it got near.
"Ha! You worry too much, wimp!" Waluigi retorted, smacking the puck back towards Luigi's side, "Besides, maybe they'll hurt someone you hate. Then, it would be a good thing!"
"Waluigi!" Luigi shouted, returning the puck again, "That's horrible! I'm not gonna wish that someone gets hurt! That's just sadistic!"
Waluigi was about to reply, but he was cut short when he noticed that the puck had gotten past his defenses and got into the goal. Luigi had won the air hockey match.
"WHAT!? Grr… Well, I wouldn't care if someone I loathed got hurt. You're just weird."
Waluigi stormed off, annoyed that Luigi had won and wishing that he would get hurt soon.
"Or maybe you're the weird one," Luigi mumbled, "hey! Wario! Wanna play?"
Meanwhile, Mario and Peach were sharing a rather awkward moment: they were playing Donkey Kong.
"Well, this is rather strange…" Mario murmured as he directed 'Jumpman' up the grating, "I guess I'm playing as… Myself."
"Yeah, I guess so…" Peach chuckled, "Say, who's that you're saving in this game, anyway?"
"Uh…" Mario sputtered. This was going to be tough to explain, "… An old friend. Pauline. You know, that girl who was at the grand opening of Super Mini Mario World? We used to have a bit of a relationship, but we're just good friends now. Honest."
Peach couldn't help but laugh at the clear dread on Mario's face, obviously fearing what she was thinking about this 'revelation.'
"Mario, don't worry," she assured, giggling all the while, "I'm not going to be mad at you just because you once had another girlfriend. It's not like everyone is only allowed to have one boyfriend or girlfriend. I mean, you won't believe how many guys dragged me out on dates while I was in high school!"
Mario let out a huge sigh of relief. Disaster nearly averted.
"So… Who are these other guys you're talking about?"
"Oh, just a bunch of rich guys who had some usually obscure relationship to the rulers of another kingdom, like their second-cousin was a former advisor to the king or something. I always got suckered into the old 'merge the royal bloodlines' bit."
This time, it was Mario who was laughing.
"Heh, if you're at all concerned, I have absolutely no royal blood in me. Just an ordinary plumber here."
"Well, I wouldn't exactly call you 'ordinary,' Mario…"
While Mario and Peach continued to talk about relationships, Daisy was expressing her feelings to someone else.
"DIE, ALIEN SCUM! DIE!"
Or, rather, something.
"Geez, Daisy, you're really getting into this game," Luigi commented.
"Hey, it's Space Invaders," Daisy explained, "it's a classic. Say, weren't you playing Air Hockey with Wario?"
"Well, let's just say that I had to stop when Wario found a way to make the puck 'jump' and he started to aim for my face, not the goal."
"Right… Where are Wario and Waluigi, anyway? They were here a moment ago…"
"Hmm? Ah! There they… Momma mia."
The 'Wario Bros.' were currently playing skeet ball. However, they certainly weren't playing it fairly. Rather, Waluigi was simply using his lengthy limbs to grab the balls and place them in the 100,000 point hole.
"Oh yeah!" Wario cheered, "Keep this up Waluigi, and we'll have enough tickets to buy that mini-stereo in no time!"
Luigi wanted to say something, but he was simply left speechless. Daisy quickly noticed this.
"Can't come up with anything you haven't already said about those two clowns?" Daisy asked.
"Yeah…" Luigi replied.
"Me neither," she sighed with a shrug, "me neither."
Author's Note: GAH!!! FINALLY!!! I'm not sure how many of you noticed, but Fanfiction was acting screwy for the past week and I haven't been able to upload anything! So, yeah, I missed my deadline, but it ain't my fault! Moving on... I hope I did a good job explaining what happened to the Mario/Pauline relationship. They're obviously still good friends (see Mario vs. Donkey Kong 2), but there's really no romantic connection between them whatsoever anymore. Besides, Peach just seems more his type, you know?