WARNING: possibly confusing dream sequences ahead.

Anders

Anders scribbled a thick line across the words he was jotting and tossed his quill aside. He'd been working on his manifesto since he woke up early that morning, which now felt like an eternity ago, but he'd barely written anything comprehensive. This is pointless, he decided, running a hand through his hair with a sigh. He'd barely eaten the past few days, couldn't remember the last time he slept. He had left the flowers with Astrid's mother yesterday morning, yet she still hadn't seen him. What that meant, he wasn't sure.

Perhaps she just hadn't had time. Maybe she was just at the tavern with Varric and Bethany. Or—his thoughts turned dark—she was just waking up in the Knight Captain's quarters in the Gallows. ..

Ugh. Try as he might to convince himself he just wanted to be friends, the thought made him want to hit something. Forcing the thought from his mind, he got up and headed out of his room and into the main area of the clinic to get started on the day's work. Patients would surely be filtering in soon looking for medicine or food.

Anders' stomach flipped at the sight of the woman sitting on one of the cots, a smirk on her pale face and her legs crossed. Anders tried to swallow but his throat was dry. She was wearing casual clothes—a navy tunic and leather trousers tucked into scuffed brown boots. Her blonde hair was for once free of its tight not and hanging in a halo around her shoulders.

"I see you're keeping up with the whole sexy tortured look," Astrid said.

"Uh, I try," he said lamely, scratching the back of his neck. Dammit, Anders, he thought. What happened to your Fereldan days? A few years ago she would have been blushing like mad at his repartee, but somehow he found it hard to speak with her while she was looking up at him like the cat that ate the canary.

"I got your flowers," Astrid said as she got to her feet. "They were beautiful."

"It was no trouble. I just felt terrible—what I said the other day, when you asked me about my feelings and I said the only thing I felt was hate for the templars. It wasn't true. I—"

"Anders." She silenced him with a soft finger on his chapped lips. "I know," she said, moving closer to him. Her fingers drifted from his face and down to his shoulders, and up the back of his neck to tangle themselves in his hair. Anders let his eyes drift close. "I missed you," Astrid murmured.

"What about, ah, Cullen?" he asked, barely daring to say it.

Astrid shifted her body close to his, brushing against his front as she whispered close to his face, her breath tickling his ear, "What about him?"

Anders nearly groaned. He reached out his hands and planted them on her hips, pulling her closer as she smiled. His hands slipped under her tunic to touch her the skin of her hips, which was surprisingly cool to the touch as he kneaded his thumbs into her. Astrid completely thrust herself against him and wrapped both arms around her neck. "I only want you, Anders."

That was enough for him. In fact, it was more than enough. He would have settled for anything if it meant touching her skin for just a second more. The mage circled his arms around her and smothered her lips with his own, savoring the feel of her in his arms and the cool sweet feel of their lips together. Her hands knotted in his hair, pulling gently as she backed away from the embrace. He followed, arms tracing her smooth back. Astrid briefly broke from the embrace to sit back onto the cot. Her rosy lips curved into a smile as he looked down at her, and she tugged on his robes. "Anders."

He followed her, sitting beside her and capturing her mouth in his yet again, this time nibbling gently on her bottom lip. She made a small noise and crawled onto his lap, straddling his hips. Maker, he thought breathlessly.

His hands cupped her hips yet again, but this time he let a little soothing magic drift from his fingers, an old trick he learned a few years ago. She looked down at him with confusion. "What are you doing?"

It took him a moment to register what she said, but by the time he opened his mouth, red faced and apologetic, the girl was frowning and getting to her feet. "Anders, what are you doing?"

"I—"

Astrid's eyes, normally green, turned a bright cobalt blue as a wind seemed to blow in from out of nowhere, sweeping her hair around her in a tempest. Power crackled around her, eerily illuminating her face. "ANDERS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" she boomed in a deep ethereal voice.

Fear and dread filled the man. He looked around his clinic however and found it uncharacteristically clean, empty. As his eyes traveled about the room, the walls, desk, the ceiling all seemed to dissipate. When he turned back to what he thought had been Astrid, something like fear crossed her face as she faded into the blackness that was closing in. Now it was just Anders on a lone cot in the Fade.

It felt so real, he thought. He couldn't even remember falling asleep.

You were dreaming. Again, echoed a familiar powerful voice. You must concentrate on the mage's plight.

"Can't you give a man some privacy, Justice?" Anders asked, rubbing his temples in frustration.

"We're one and the same, Anders—you know this. Lustful thinking is not beneficial to our cause, and we should not busy ourselves with it. I…I could not rightfully think such things."

"Well you took your sweet time before you interrupted," Anders grumbled. Yet the Spirit was right. It was unfair of him to think…intimately of Astrid with Justice as a voyeur, and he had no business doing it, even in the Fade. She was not his, nor could she ever be if he wanted freedom for mages. No, that would always have to come first, at least as long as Justice was around. And evidently, he wasn't going anywhere.

Suddenly a soft sound echoed across the space, making the man turn about wildly in the dark. It rang out once more, seemingly from every direction at once. "Hello?" he asked.

Justice immediately became alert. "INTRUDER!" he shouted across the mage's self conscious

Anders shot up with a start, grabbing the staff resting on the wall next to him with a sweaty hand as he leapt up from where he had fallen asleep at his desk. He pointed the staff at the door to his room, making it slam against the wall as it swung open. However, his shoulders sagged at the sight in front of him. It was not an angry mob or the Knight Commander but a soaking wet Astrid, her hair raining drops of water onto her armor.

"Uh, hi," she said, raising an eyebrow and lifting her hands in surrender.

Anders gaped at her, breathing heavily after the jarring dream as he took her in. She looked her usual composed self aside from being drenched. After a moment he let his shoulders sag in relief and pointed his staff away from her. "Astrid," he breathed.

"Anders," she returned with a warm smile. "It's ah, been a while."

"It has," he said with a short laugh. Anders ran a hand through his hair. "I owe you an apology. When I said that the only thing I felt was a hate for the templars…"

The girl looked up at him expectantly. Maker it felt good to have her there, smiling at him again. It had only been a few days, but they'd been miserable ones. Aside from when he'd woken up just then he really couldn't remember the last time he slept. It felt like Justice was constantly planning and helping him write and meet with mages forming an Underground coalition of sorts to keep his thoughts away from her. Not thinking about her was exhausting.

"Well, I shouldn't have. I…you know we're friends. I trust you more than anyone. I just don't want to see you or Bethany—or your mother," he added thoughtfully, "hurt. I—I care about you."

Anders felt like a babbling fool. A year ago her panties would have been on the floor by now, but things were different now. He was different. And while he was sure he couldn't be the man for her, he'd be damned if he weren't there for her. There were a hundred people he should have stuck around for—Karl, Cousland, maybe even Oghren and Nate, the poor bastards—but this time he'd get it right.

A small smile spread across her face and she cleared her throat. "I care about you too, Anders. There's no need to apologize. It wasn't fair of me to expect you to be accepting of a templar being a more, ah, prominent in my life. I can't imagine Justice is very pleased with me at the moment…?"

Anders, the woman is a traitor. Demand she leave!

The mage smiled tightly, ignoring the Spirit's anger and the swell of jealousy within him. She's not yours, he reminded himself. "Well, he'll be okay."

"But are you okay?" She moved closer and eyed him carefully with her hands on her hips. "No offense, but you look like utter shit."

He laughed. "Saying 'no offense' before an insult still makes it an insult, I hope you realize that. But no, I'm fine. I just haven't slept in a while, well except for just before you came in."

"I'm sorry I woke you. If I'd known you were sleeping…well, actually I still would have come in. I didn't walk here in the rain for nothing, you know," Astrid admitted, gesturing to the puddle forming at her feet. "I wanted to thank you for the flowers you left with my mother—they're beautiful. And you left quite an impression."

That at least made him grin. He was eager to hear about how his first experience with a woman's parent went. "Oh did I?"

"Oh yes, Gamlen won't stop talking about you. He wants to invite you out to the Blooming Rose with him."

"You can't be serious."

She snorted. "Of course not. But wouldn't that be horrific? Mother loves you though. She pestered Beth and me for an hour asking why we hadn't invited you to dinner before." Astrid crossed her arms over her chest and gave him a pointed look. "I was kind enough not to tell her you rejected all my invitations."

Anders rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Sorry about that."

She waved it away. "I was just impressed you spent so much time there with them—with Gamlen scowling in the corner the whole time, no doubt. What did you talk about?"

Anders thought about his conversation with Leandra about Carver, Bethany's twin who had died, how she'd said Astrid blamed herself for it. "Oh, not much," he lied. He couldn't talk about this now with her. It was too deep, too heavy. She would come around when she was ready.

She gave him a suspicious glance but said nothing more on the subject. "Well, you could make up for all those rejected dinners somehow…I need a favor."

The mage simply raised his eyebrows, waiting. Justice however was agitated. You presented her family with a floral arrangement and apologized. You owe her nothing!

"I hurt my leg yesterday. And I, uh, might have fought on it today."

Oh Astrid. Anders sighed. "Let me clear off the papers on my desk, you can sit up there."

He gathered some supplies while she slipped off her muddy wet boot and let it drop to the floor. It didn't make much of a difference in the musty old building. Astrid cringed as she rolled her pant leg up and revealed a swollen, red inflamed wound on her leg.

Anders didn't hide his gasp. He wasn't even sure how she managed to walk on it, never mind fight with that atrocity on her leg. "How did you get this?" he demanded.

"Err…a skeletal, demon thingy on Sundermount. It didn't look so bad at first, but…well."

"It's most definitely infected. I think the creature may have poisoned your leg. This is probably going to hurt."

He looked up at her solemnly, catching her green eyes with his own. She looked carefree at first glance, but there was fear beneath it. She was biting her lip, which was never a good sign. "Alright. Bring it on."

"I need to slice into it and drain it," he warned her.

"Ooh, sexy," she laughed. "Let's not tell Varric or Isabela about this, okay? I'll never live it down."

Anders snorted as he reached for a small metal scalpel.

"Okay, here we go." He did it quickly, but he knew it had to have hurt. Astrid didn't make any noise, her lips in a hard line, eyes closed. He gave her shoulder a sympathetic squeeze and handed her a health potion to ease the pain as he thoroughly cleaned her leg and carefully stitched it shut.

She let out a sigh and stretched her leg. "Well that wasn't so awful. Thank you, Anders. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Get hurt and walk go around fighting anyway, I suppose," he said pointedly but with an easygoing grin. "What else did you do without me?"

"Hmm. Let's see…" Astrid gingerly scooted off the desk and set to putting her boot back on. "I repaid a favor to an old acquaintance—but that's a long story. I ran into an idiot of a dwarf who involved me with the Arishok."

"The Arishok?"

"Ugh. Yes. And what a pain in the ass that has been. He's not the nicest guy—who would have guessed". Astrid shook her head. "Also, I may have gotten roped into looking out for one of the Dalish who left the clan for the Alienage. She's actually been very useful so far. She's a sweet girl, but deadly with entropy."

Astrid mumbled something else that the mage couldn't make out. "Sorry, what?"

"Umm, she's also…a blood mage. Sort of."

Anders' jaw dropped. "Astrid…"

"I know what you're thinking, but she's completely innocent. Varric had to give her a spool of thread so she could find her way back to the Alienage for Andraste's sake!"the girl exclaimed. "Trust me."

Justice was raging inside Anders' head. He had to close his eyes for a few seconds to gain his composure. "Blood magic," he said, pinching the bridge of his nose, "is hardly innocent. You know that, Astrid."

Her face fell into a determined scowl. He made a note to himself not to push her. It had been only been a few days, but he'd missed her. He just wanted to talk and laugh like usual. But a blood mage? Was she trying to kill them all?

"Merill means well, she's a great mage, and I won't say no to more assistance. Besides, I can't just leave her to rot in the Alienage—she'll get eaten alive. I'm not asking you to support what she does, but be nice to her. She's adorable."

An adorable blood mage. He supposed he'd seen stranger things.

"Andraste's knickerweasels," he cursed. "Fine, I've dealt with the mage hater. How bad can a blood mage be?"

Astrid's suntanned face transformed into a grin that somehow made it all worth it. "Anders, you're amazing."

"Hardly," he replied, but his stomach was in knots. He coughed and changed the subject. "What else did I miss? Did you wrestle a dragon? Save a village from darkspawn? Find a relic that grants eternal life? Or wait…did Fenris actually smile?"

Astrid laughed. "I can't decide which of those would be more remarkable. That's about it though. I came to invite you to play cards over at the Hanged Man with us."

"And to be healed," he pointed out. She rolled her eyes. "I might be inclined to go," Anders answered, "depending on the company."

"Me, Varric of course, Beth, Isabela, and Merill—the blood mage. Oh, and Aveline if she gets off duty before we're all wasted."

No templar mentioned, but would she purposefully leave him out to get Anders to unknowingly agree to go out and have to hang out with him? No, no. That wasn't her style, he decided. He was tempted to ask about her date, but it would only lead to trouble, and it was more than likely that he would completely regret hearing any details later. Anders opened his mouth to say he'd go to the bar but was cut off by a thought from Justice.

Anders, you have work to do. Your manifesto is nearly complete. Do not abandon your duties!

Shit. The Spirit had a point. It was great to see Astrid, but as much as he wanted to he couldn't drop everything for her. Not always.

"Uhh actually, I have to finish up my manifesto. Besides, I'm sure someone else will come in needing healing tonight. It's been too slow of a day."

Any trace of hopefulness dropped from her face, but she quickly replaced the look with a smile as she headed for the door. "I understand. Also, I thought I should let you know that we'll be leaving for the Deep Roads next week. You might want to get your affairs in order."

The Deep Roads. It had been looming darkly in the horizon for weeks, but was suddenly just ahead. "Ah…right," he muttered.

She gave him a sympathetic look and bit her lip. "I know. I'm nervous too. We'll get through it though. And then we'll all be rich!"

The prospect of going back into the cavernous darkspawn filled tunnels was too grim to laugh about, but he smiled. "I have the utmost faith in you."

Astrid grinned and moved as if to leave, but he moved closer to her. "Here, I can at least walk you."

She playfully punched his shoulder. "Such a gentleman."

It was still raining as they walked through the streets, but Anders couldn't care less. It just felt good to stretch his legs and spend time with Astrid—in a totally platonic way, he told himself, even if his already tattered coat got even more worse for wear.

All was well until they reached Lowtown. Up ahead a woman in chantry robes with neat white blonde hair and milky skin, stood alone with a sour look on her face.

What in the Maker's name is she doing? Anders wondered as huge hulking man with fiery red hair and a sword at his back approached her. Astrid stopped a good distance away and watched, not even bothering to hide the fact that she was staring at them.

"Here miss, word is you're looking for help," he said. "And pay well."

The chantry woman didn't even blink. "I need someone native to the dark places in Lowtown. If you claim as much, yes, I will pay."

"Oh boy," Astrid muttered quietly. "Yes, let's trust the first bearded freak with a weapon."

"I am, I am," he assured her. "Let's just step into this alley and me and my fellows can have a look at the money on offer."

The woman nodded and followed, not in the least hesitant or suspicious. Astrid meanwhile cursed. "Are you kidding me?"

Anders shook his head in disgust. "I don't know what's worse—the type that prey on these people, or the people who so easily fall for it."

"My thoughts exactly." The girl let out an agitated sigh. "Well, I suppose we better go help her. Shouldn't take long…"

BUT IT DOES TAKE LONG. HAWKE, YOU FOOL! Anywho...thanks for putting up with all my shit. Sorry if this chapter wasn't exactly action packed-I needed Astrid and Anders to stop being divas and be okay with each other again. Buuuut the Deep Roads are ahead! Again thanks to everyone who reviewed/favorited. It means a lot to me!