A/N – Inspired by remarks in the recent episode, "Minor Monogram," about Vanessa apparently wanting a tattoo. This takes place between "Caller" and "Hitting," #10 and #11 of my "Vignettes a la Carte." Povenmire & Marsh own the characters. BroadwayFanGirl91 came up with Ferb's needle-phobia (so thanks, again, to her!).

Tattoo

"You have her back here by nine o'clock!" Vanessa's father warned. "And no joyriding! I've seen that hot rod of yours!"

"We'll be back after the movie," Vanessa informed him, as if he hadn't said a thing. "Don't wait up."

Ferb's hand was entwined with hers, and she was tugging him toward the door. Turning back to face the scowling Dr. Doofenshmirtz, he managed to blurt out, "Good evening, sir. It was a pleasure to see you again." Then Vanessa was steering him into the hall and pulling the apartment door closed behind them, and Ferb let out a deep breath, thankful to have escaped with his life.

"That went well," said Vanessa. This did not appear to be sarcasm. When she saw Ferb's skeptical look, she insisted, "He likes you! Or, at least he doesn't hate you."

"How can you tell?" Ferb muttered, still feeling a bit shaky.

"If he hated you, he'd be treating you like his new best friend, telling me how wonderful you are, how happy he is that I've finally found the right guy." The elevator door opened, and they stepped into the car. She must have detected some confusion in his expression, because she explained, "It's a reverse psychology thing."

Ferb gave a slight nod of understanding and seized the opportunity to direct his eyes downward. Vanessa had put on a dress and a pair of sleek pumps for their First Official Dinner and a Movie Date tonight, and it had not occurred to him before now that he had only ever seen her in pants or boots or something that covered her legs. His gaze had been snared by a bloom of crimson, low on the outside of her left calf, and now that he had a chance to study it, he saw that it was a tattoo: A ripe red rose, the color of her lips, with a curling black stem that trailed down around the bone of her ankle. The effect was delicate and alluring and sent a little quiver through him.

Vanessa was telling him about the glowing reviews she had read for the movie she had chosen for them, when the elevator reached the lobby and the doors slid open. At this point, she finally looked in his direction and noticed his downcast eyes. "What's wrong?" she looked down at herself.

"Absolutely nothing," murmured Ferb, with an embarrassed smile at having been caught. "I never knew you had a tattoo."

"Yeah," she turned her leg slightly to show it off. "I got it as soon as I turned eighteen. Sort of an, 'I'm an adult now and you can't tell me what to do' thing."

"I don't suppose your father was amused," Ferb speculated.

"Actually, once I had it, he was fine. Mom's the one who still rolls her eyes at it."

As they walked out of the building, Ferb said, "I like it. It suits you."

He opened the passenger side door of his car and held it for her as she got in. Once he was behind the wheel and they were heading out, Vanessa said off-handedly, "You should get one."

Not bloody likely, was Ferb's immediate thought, but he was too considerate of her feelings to voice this.

When he said nothing, however, Vanessa clarified, "A tattoo," as if he hadn't understood her.

Ferb made a vague, noncommital sound in his throat in reply.

Again, she was quiet for a bit, leaving the door open for him to say something, before she remarked, "You'd look cool."

He shot her a swift glance before returning his eyes to the traffic.

"Not that you don't look cool already," Vanessa scrambled to reassure him in response to this. "But, a tattoo – " From the corner of his eye, Ferb caught her softly suggestive smile, "It'd be kind of sexy."

The prospect of Vanessa regarding him as sexy was certainly tempting, but what she wanted was impossible.

"Maybe like a Union Jack," she was musing. "Right here." Her finger traced a vague circle on the upper left side of her chest.

"What?" Ferb could not resist commenting. "No heart with an arrow through it and a ribbon that says 'Vanessa'?"

"That would have to go here," she reached over and touched the outside of his arm, making him grip the steering wheel more tightly. "So everyone could see it."

"You'll have me looking like the Illustrated Man," Ferb protested.

"Hey, the Heart that says Vanessa was your idea," she teased.

He grinned a little, but fell quiet again for a block or two before he said, "Vanessa, I love you, and I would do almost anything for you, but I'm afraid a tattoo is out of the question."

"Oh, I know," she conceded, and he wondered for a moment if she had somehow discovered his secret. But no, she made a different assumption. "Your parents would freak out."

The reminder that he was barely sixteen hit Ferb like a punch to the gut. He knew Vanessa didn't mean it hurtfully, and he held his tongue as he made the turn onto Adjacent Avenue and kept an eye out for Chez Antoine. His thoughts must have shown, however, because there was a certain tenderness to her voice as she encouraged, "Maybe in a couple of years, huh?"

Ferb eased into a parking spot and shut off the engine. As Vanessa unfastened her seat belt, he spoke up. "My parents aren't the problem."

She paused in reaching for the door handle, and turned her face toward him, her inquisitive look giving him a nudge to go on.

His explanation came out as, "I'm not overly fond of needles."

"Who is?" she remarked, with a sympathetic chuckle. "I know; I was kind of nervous when I got mine, but it's really not that bad."

"No, you don't understand," said Ferb quietly. "I have a – rather large phobia of needles. Never mind being jabbed, myself, just being around them – even watching someone else get a shot, or have blood drawn…" He couldn't suppress the shudder that went through him, and he averted his eyes in shame. "Frankly, I'm feeling a bit sick just talking about it."

Vanessa reached out and laid her hand on his. It was the same, familiar, comforting gesture he had known from her for years, going all the way back to when he was ten and she had asked about his biological mother. Now she said, "Hey… it's all right."

"It's ridiculous," he muttered.

"Come on," she insisted, "we're all afraid of something. You know how I am about roller coasters. And bees. And clowns still creep me out." She gave his hand a squeeze, and when he looked at her, she smiled. "You don't need a tattoo, Ferb. You're hot enough already."

Ferb gave a little chuckle in response to this compliment and lifted Vanessa's fair hand to his lips in gratitude. "I hope you're hungry," he remarked, as they got out of the car. "And save room for dessert; I hear they're famous for their mousse au chocolat."

"Mmm, you know what I like," said Vanessa, looping her arm through his as they walked toward the restaurant.

A warm glow spread through him at the gesture, and Ferb contemplated how lucky he was, to have won the affections of this amazing woman. Perhaps there was something he could do that would please – or at least amuse – her. Oh, he would never submit to the needle, not even for the love of his life. But, it occurred to him now that there were such things as temporary tattoos. And a Union Jack shouldn't be too hard to find. Ferb's mouth curled into a private little smile as he held the restaurant door for Vanessa. Perhaps he would surprise her someday…

THE END

A/N – Yeah, there's got to be a punch line for this somewhere down the road. We'll see…